"So...this is nice, isn't it? A beautiful sunny day, a gentle breeze, some birds chirruping over...over there somewhere, it's just lovely, right?"
Zephyr's attempts at making pleasant conversation was met only with silence, leading to further talk from the God.
"I mean, when you get right down to it, it's just a nice day, and hey, there's the two of us together like this, so it's even better, right?"
Again, nothing but silence, and Zephyr sighed in response.
"Look, I know this relationship hasn't exactly been the best, and yeah, you have every right to be angry with me right now, but at least it couldn't have been worse, right?"
Silence for a third time, and Zephyr's smile faded a little, then returned with full vigor.
"You know, you're a great listener. Has anyone ever told you that? A lot of guys consider it a really attractive quality, you know. And I have to say..."
"Zephyr?"
"GAH!!!"
The God leapt to his feet, spinning around so as to look to the one who had spoken. To his utter horror, it was his older sister, Fluttershy, who looked back to her younger sibling with obvious confusion.
"Who are you talking to, brother?"
Zephyr, now sweating profusely, had his eyes darting left and right rapidly, as well as chuckling nervously.
"Oh! Um...I was talking to...myself! Yeah, that's it! I got a little bored out here, so I decided to have some conversation with...myself...about stuff."
Now, Fluttershy knew her brother better than anyone alive, and so it took no time whatsoever for her to know that something was up. With a look of incredulity coming to her, she sighed, placing one hand on her hip and raising the second, gesturing for her brother to step to one side. Zephyr nervously poked the ends of his fingers together, attempting to stand his ground, but one arched eyebrow from Fluttershy was all it took to finally wear down the last of his defences. With his shoulders slumping, he groaned in defeat, stepping aside as requested. At long last, the Goddess of Nature could see what her brother had been hiding. There, in the ground, surrounded by a swathe of healthy green grass, was a larger-than-average daisy, whose centre was the brightest shade of yellow Fluttershy had ever seen on that particular flower. But while most would have been delighted to see such a pretty flower, Fluttershy merely looked disappointed.
"Oh, Zephyr! Not again!"
Zephyr hung his head in shame.
"I'm sorry! I know I said I wouldn't do this again, but...it just happened!"
He kept babbling on and on like that for some time, until a raised hand from his sister finally silenced him. Fluttershy, though still clearly upset, looked her sibling right in the eye before speaking in a tone that was both soft and firm at the same time.
"Brother...tell me what happened."
Zephyr took this moment of calm to take a few deep breaths, and then, as asked, he began to explain himself.
"Okay. Her name was...her name is Daisy. I saw her outside the local village, and...well..."
Fluttershy folded her arms.
"You became taken with her?" she asked, her eyebrow as high as it would go.
Zephyr didn't nod, but scratched the back of his head nervously, which was all the confirmation Fluttershy needed. After she rubbed the bridge of her nose, she gestured for him to continue, which he did.
"So anyway, I swopped on down to her, introduced myself, did a bit of Zephyr-style flirting..."
"Which went about as well as it usually did, I take it?" Fluttershy asked, with just the tiniest bit of sass on her part.
Zephyr frowned.
"Okay, to maybe I had to show off a bit of godly power to really wow her. But, it did the job. She was wowed, and we got to talking."
He turned, pointing to a nearby field.
"It was good for a bit, but then she wanted to do something extra, so we got into a game of discus-throwing."
He looked smug all of a sudden.
"Obviously, as a God, I knew she didn't really have a chance against me, but I humored her all the same."
Fluttershy rolled her eyes as her brother continued.
"She went first, and I'll admit, she was pretty good. And...okay, maybe I was nervous my own throw wouldn't have been as good at that point."
Fluttershy tilted her head slightly.
"Hasn't Rainbow been teaching you how to do it properly lately?"
Zephyr shrugged.
"She tries to, yeah, but I usually find that...um...I get distracted."
It took only a second for Fluttershy to get the message, and she face-palmed immediately.
"You mean you ignore her lessons in favor of just trying some pick-up lines with her?"
Zephyr considered that, then nodded.
"Yep, pretty much."
Using all of her willpower not to groan with annoyance, Fluttershy assumed her earlier, calmer look.
"Alright...then what happened with Daisy?"
Zephyr turned away again.
"Well, as I said, I got a bit worried that my discus skills weren't really impressive enough, so I...gave myself a little help."
Slowly, Fluttershy began to frown.
"Brother...please tell me you didn't use your powers over the wind to cheat in that discus game!"
Zephyr gulped, then grinned sheepishly.
"Um...okay, I won't tell you then."
Another face-palm, and this time, Fluttershy did indeed groan.
"What. Happened?"
Zephyr twiddled his thumbs here.
"Well, it was fine at first. My winds caused my discuss to fly further than Daisy's could, and she seemed really impressed by it."
Then a blush crept onto his cheeks, and he suddenly found that he couldn't look his sister in the eye.
"Buuuuuuuuuuut...as I was focusing on my win, I didn't notice the discus as it circled around and headed back. And, well...Daisy was sort of in the way when it came back."
Fluttershy's face softened, and she looked down to the flower in the ground. Walking past her brother, she knelt down, gently brushing the petals with her fingers.
"I am so...so sorry my brother brought you to this."
Zephyr folded his arms.
"Hey, it's no big problem, right?"
Fluttershy shot him a glare, causing him to immediately backtrack.
"I mean, she's not actually dead from that blow to the head. And hey, she gets to be a flower, and girls love flowers...right?"
Slowly, Fluttershy got to her feet, brushing down her skirt slightly, before walking over to her brother and gently placing a hand upon her shoulder.
"Zephyr...brother...you are family to me. I love you as dearly as anybody in this world possibly can."
Instantly, Zephyr winced.
"Oh no...this is gonna be bad."
Taking a deep breath, Fluttershy did indeed fulfil her brother's prediction.
"But you...have got...to stop...chasing mortals!"
Zephyr fumbled a bit.
"But...but...but...I can't help it! They're all so cute and pretty and...ugh! How can I not go down there and try to start something?!"
Fluttershy shook her head.
"I'm sorry, brother, but until you learn to be more careful around mortal girls, I don't want you 'starting' anything with them!"
Zephyr frowned to her.
"What, because I turned one girl into a daisy?!"
Fluttershy raised a hand, counting off her fingers.
"And because you turned Rose into a rose, Tulip into a tulip, Clover into a clover..."
Zephyr looked away.
"Okay, so maybe I have some bad luck with girls named after plants!"
Fluttershy raised an eyebrow.
"And let's not mention the girls who deliberately threw themselves off cliffs to avoid having anything to do with you, shall we?"
Zephyr shrugged again.
"Hey, those girls were just being overdramatic, so that's entirely on them!"
Here, Fluttershy had just about had it, and so sighed before taking hold of her brother's chin firmly and forcing him to look at her.
"Zephyr...if you keep doing this...I'll have no choice but to arrange a different way for you to satisfy your needs."
Zephyr understandably sensed a catch there, and so squinted his eyes.
"What...what kind of way?"
Here, for the first time today, Fluttershy smiled, though it was really more of a mischievous smirk than anything.
"How would you feel about a date with Adagio?"
Immediately, Zephyr's face went as pale as a sheet, and he backed away by several steps.
"No! Anything but that! She terrifies me!"
Placing her hands on her hips, Fluttershy assumed a more professional tone.
"So...no more mortal girls...agreed?"
Realising that refusing the offer would lead him down a path too dark for him to want to walk, the God of Wind finally relented, sighing and letting his shoulders slump.
"...Yes, Ma'am."
Giggling, Fluttershy reached forward and patted her brother on the head.
"Good boy."
Freaking Zephyr Breeze.
I like the idea of Zephyr having Apollo's luck with girls.
So, wait... does the poor girl ever get turned back?
Did anyone turn any of those girls back, or are all of them now stuck as planets?
Because if those poor girls are stuck that way because Zephyr is Zephyr, than someone is going to try god slaying, and I don't know if even Fluttershy would try that hard to stop them
Really? Zephyr? A God? That's f***ing stupid...
9627159
the whole premise of this fic is that /everyone/ from the cast is a god you know :p
9627164
I just hate him, simple as that
9627164 Not Flash or Timber or Flim or Flam.
And Zephyr is doing a horrible job as one. If Fluttershy doesn't set him up with Adagio, she should get him a talk with Cadance.
Zephyr, the west wind and Apollo's love life. Hilariously fitting in several ways.
Fluttersass is best sass.
Jesus, that's just mean.
Yeah, Flutters. I don't blame you for getting frustrated with your brother. Not in the slightest. Probably the one guy who (VERY deservedly) has even worse luck with the ladies than Johnny Bravo. And (NOT deservedly) takes that bad luck MUCH worse too. In all honesty, it would probably be best if he just forgot about having any sort of a love life at all (he's [unfortunately] immortal, so he doesn't need an heir) and just join a monastery. Still, Flutters, I DO hope you will/do eventually change the girls back.
Still, really good job on the exchange, characterizations, (dark) humor and general chapter wrap-up in all the right places.
9627222
Points well taken.
But I don't think even talks with Cadance would help in this case.
9627153
9627158
It's a better fate than dealing with Zephyr.
Why hasn't he been castrated yet? The Greek gods did that. Cronus cut off his dad's testes.
I wonder, is zephyr hit on the wrong sex, maybe he have better luck with males....
9627646
Would you really wanna do that to a guy? I mean it sounds a bit too cruel to em. (to the guys) XD
What I never understood is if sci-twi is a unicorn why does she have wings?
9627698
would you rather see him keep mess up with girls?? that or send him toward the underworld let him be punishment to others
9627736
using him as a punishment seems like a good idea to me XD
I mean, I know he's full of hot air, but putting him in charge of any force of nature seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
9627478
Do you really want to see what deity emerges from that?
9627788
Oh dear, good point.
they sould have someone trying to be their "prophet" making sacrafices to them
I spotted a typo. You said massage instead of message Granted the only thing separating those two words in a single later
Well this story took a dark turn. I mean injury played off for comedy as cartoon levels of slapstick maintained a solid tone thus far. Now however manslaughter and condition encouraged suicide. Even written with comedic words is a fairly large step up in abuse from these gods. Still a great story but oof.
9628467 Thanks for letting me know
9627159
9627122
God of losers