Twilight sat cross-legged in the grass beside the portal’s statue, taking deep, shaky breaths. Her eyes were closed, and Sunset’s journal was laying open in her lap. Innumerable sounds whispered through the world around her—tires on asphalt, rustling leaves, gentle gusts of wind—yet all she could hear was the murmuring thump of her heart in her ears. With every beat, she closed her eyes a little tighter.
Despite Twilight’s initial intentions, she had been unable to inform Celestia of Sunset’s passing. A letter was such an impersonal medium, and it would be wildly insensitive and inappropriate, given the circumstances. Instead, all she had managed to write was that there was an extremely urgent matter regarding Sunset Shimmer, and that Celestia needed to come through the portal so Twilight could explain in person. This was followed by several apologies for such an unusual request.
Groaning, Twilight raised her head to look at the portal. She had sent the letter maybe half an hour ago, but had heard nothing since. In that time, all she had done was sit by the portal and ruminate with dread on what she was going to say when Celestia arrived. This was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done.
Twilight realized she’d been thinking that a lot lately.
Part of her regretted having not told the princess more in the letter, yet another insisted that this was the right decision. Truthfully, Twilight was unsure of the nature of Sunset and Celestia’s relationship. After Twilight’s initial report regarding her first journey to this world, the princess had never again asked about Sunset, or even mentioned her. The idea of Celestia abandoning and forgetting a personal student stung Twilight to her core. Was whatever happened between them truly as bitter as Sunset implied?
As Twilight thought of what little Sunset had told her about Celestia, she recognized a common sentiment in everything Sunset had said. For whatever reason, she had been terrified of Celestia. While Twilight certainly dealt with anxiety regarding the princess, she had never once felt the kind of raw fear that Sunset had expressed.
The more Twilight thought about it, the more it bothered her. The Celestia she knew was kind and gentle as could be, yet Sunset seemed convinced that the princess despised her. There were so many details Twilight didn’t know. Even still, she found herself plagued by doubts about what would happen when she told Celestia that Sunset was gone.
Maybe Celestia would stare in disbelief. Maybe she would cry. Maybe she would drag Twilight back through the portal and destroy the mirror.
Maybe she wouldn’t even care.
No, Twilight told herself. That wasn’t right. Celestia was the most compassionate pony Twilight had ever met, and she would surely be as devastated as Twilight was, if not more so.
Just then, the wall of marble beneath the statue began to glow. Twilight shot up in an instant, wiping grass and dust off herself, and took a single steady breath.
She could do this. She had to do this.
As the portal’s glow dimmed, Twilight reflexively knelt down. She looked up to see a regal figure who could only be Princess Celestia.
Despite her royalty, Celestia appeared remarkably plain. She wore a long white dress that stretched down to the ground. A white gown, Twilight realized, almost exactly like the one Sunset had been wearing when she had died in her arms.
Burying the thought, Twilight rose, still keeping her head down. “Thank you for coming, Princess Celestia.”
“I have not been to this place in many, many years,” Celestia said. “I do not believe I am a princess here, though.”
“I-I suppose not,” Twilight said. Her heart was pounding in her ears again. “Regardless, I really appreciate your expediency.”
“It is good to see you, Twilight.” Celestia placed a finger beneath Twilight’s chin and gently lifted her gaze. “I only wish it were under better circumstances,” The princess’s eyes seemed to harden. “What has Sunset Shimmer done this time?”
Twilight’s breath caught in her throat. “I-it’s, uhm...”
“It is alright, Twilight,” Celestia said. “Whatever damage she has done, we can undo. But first you must tell me what has happened.”
“It’s not like that,” Twilight said. “Sunset didn’t go back to her old ways. That’s not why I asked you to come here.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Is that so? For what purpose, then?”
Twilight could feel the pressure of tears building in her eyes. She couldn't say it. Why couldn't she say it?
“Something... S-something happened to Sunset...” Twilight began, and as she spoke, her composure began to crumble. “She... S-she...”
Twilight was overcome with tears, and she dropped to her knees. She couldn’t do this. She had to do this, but she couldn’t.
An arm pulled her close, and Twilight realized that Celestia was embracing her.
“Breathe, Twilight,” Celestia told her. The princess sat on the grass beside her. “Please continue.”
Twilight nodded, yet despite her attempts to slow her breathing, her cries never ceased. This was all wrong. She couldn’t do this.
“Please, Twilight,” Celestia said, her voice tinged with trepidation. “I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”
Through the blur of tears, Twilight could see the princess was looking at her. She had never seen Celestia look so concerned as she did right now.
“She’s gone...”
The words escaped Twilight’s lips before she knew she was even speaking. Before her, Celestia’s face was overcome with an emotion Twilight couldn’t quite describe.
“What do you mean?” Celestia asked.
“Sunset wrote to me a few months ago, and... And I didn’t pay enough attention, and she lost her f-friends and s-she was all alone here and she was hurting herself a-and..." Twilight took a breath. "She couldn't take it anymore, and...”
Despite her intentions, despite the princess’s pleading, despite everything, Twilight couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Instead, she watched in silence as the realization dawned on Celestia. The princess's face shifted from concern to terror.
"You mean she tried to...?" Celestia trailed off, as if she too was incapable of speaking those words.
Twilight could only nod.
“Where is she?” Celestia’s voice wavered. “Where is Sunset now?”
“At the hospital,” Twilight said. "They took her there after she fell, b-but..."
With her whole body trembling, Twilight forced herself to speak with every ounce of resolve she had left.
“She... She died last night...”
In that moment, it was as if the entire world had stopped breathing. Celestia stared at her, unblinking. Twilight sat motionless beside her, her whimpers lost in the wind. After a beat, Celestia pulled Twilight close, and Twilight could feel that she was trembling a bit.
“Thank you for telling me this, Twilight,” Celestia said. “May I ask one more thing of you?”
“What is it?” Twilight asked.
“Please...” Celestia pulled away and looked at Twilight with tear-stained eyes. “Take me to her.”
Of course it ends there!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
9452631
Yes the author sure knows how to egg us on with a cliffhanger
And this chapter just punched my heart and kicked it in the groin with all of the feels.
Oh, Twi. You think that is going to be hard? Just wait until you tell her Sunset isn't coming home to be laid to rest.
That conversation just might go nuclear.
The way Celestia is reacting seems more like an estranged family members over that of a disappointed teacher.
I don't envy Luna once Celestia gets home either.
This may sound cruel but they really should bring Sunset home to be buried..... It's not like she can object...... I know that sounds bad.
9452702
I think it would've been better if her body should go back to her own birth world than the one that's already tainted of neglect, abuse, chaos, fake, etc. Courtesy of the ones at CHS, mane 5, and the CMC who killed her.
Interesting that Twilight notes she hasn't felt that anxiety with the princess like Sunset seemed to show... while she's sitting there, having anxiety about the princess. Of course, it's different anxiety, but I like the connection. Twilight's difficulty telling Celestia once she gets there is heartbreaking... and sadly familiar. Curious what Celestia's reaction to seeing Sunset will be, and whether we might get to learn more about their relationship.
9452702
No your right, her only real connection to the Human World was her "friends" who eventually caused her to kill herself. Celestia could easily claim to be Sunsets mother and take the body to be burried or cremated (since canterlot is a mountain and probably doesn't have enough room for bodies) and tell her "friends" to suck it
9452980
I dunno, I think people might look askance at Principal Celestia claiming to be Sunset's mom. That'd raise some questions.
9453093
ehhh If they talked to the Principal before hand she'd probably help out, and Makeup is a thing
huh....that went better than expected.
i was thinking more like thumbs.gfycat.com/QuarrelsomeSpotlessBrahmancow-size_restricted.gif
maybe that will happen when she sees the body.
To quote Tatewaki Kuno “The vengeance of heaven is slow but sure.”
I think Twilight should bring Sunset back to Equestria because that’s where her only real, true friends are, and if she’s laid to rest there it’s symbolic that Equestria has forgiven her for all that she did and is letting her Rest In Peace (not sure if that’s supposed to be capz’d but my auto correct said it is). Plus it would be kinda difficult to bury her in the human world. Burying the deceased (at least the legal way) is not cheap, and I don’t imaging that Sunset had the best life insurance policy (most don’t even cover suicides anyway).
9453334
And Celestia is going to make all those arguments, while Twi is going to be forced to say that Sunset didn't want to go back, at least in part due to her utter terror of the Princess herself.
We should get to find out just why Sunset felt that way, at least in part. But Twi is going to fight tooth and nail to not fail Sunset in this as she feels she failed her in life. It's going to be rough on both of them, and god help the Rainbooms if they are there and the Princess is forced to see her prodigal student, laid low due to them.
In her rage, her pain, and her own self loathing over her failures with Sunset, she may do or say something she normally would never do. Hopefully she is as cut off from magic as Twi and Sunset were or this could well go... poorly.
It’s worth noting that this is the only fic I know of where Princess Celestia goes through the portal. And (M Bison) she’s in a white gown. Like not!mother like not!daughter.
This chapter is a nifty refrain. After all Twilight has been through, as determined as she’s been, Celestia’s presence reduces her to a blubbering child. I think lots of us imagine that in grim situations like this one we’d stick doggedly to one emotion. But the reality is less flattering... with feelings and reactions pinballing all over the place. Again, another sobering representation.
9454088
No, there are a few others. A number of them Anon-a-miss fics. It's rare for Celestia to go through the portal, but not unheard of.
Yeah, I don't think Celestia will take this very well...
9540210
applejack is clearly trying to sway her to doing what she wants her to do, and she actually attempts to say it's no ones fault at an earlier points.
I've read through both "Last Light" and "Passed On", but I don't think I've commented before. If that's the case, I'll remedy it.
Both stories have been heart-wrenching and visceral (I think/hope I used that word correctly.) Good on Twilight for not making the girls feel any worse than they already do. That's some real friendship right there. They're in just as much pain as she is, and I dread the Crusaders' reaction to Sunset's fate. The girls didn't mean for her to die, but they'll now have to live with the aftermath.
Damn this story's good.
9528689
Thank god I thought I was the only one who thought that!
Last Light is easily my favorite SadSet fic, besides being the most intersting and realistiic suicide/depression fic I've read. This one is shaping up to be interesting as well. I hope to see an update.
9402533
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
*a few paragraphs in*
Just remembered Forgotten Friendship, and the reunion. Celestia cares, and I'm both looking forward to what'll come of the reveal and not at the same time.
An Sunset suicide fic where the pony Celestia actually gets involved... this is new, I like the direction this is going.
I don't think Celestia is going to hate Sunset's human friends.
Not when she knows what it's like to lose someone close to you through emotional pain.
Plus, she was the one who pulled the trigger on her sister, so to speak. Rainbow Dash and Rarity tried to save Sunset when nobody else was there.
Funny thing, actually. They were there. If only Sunset, at that moment, was in any mind to let herself be helped.
And it's only going to get harder from here, Twi. Especially when you're doing this on your own and barely taking care of yourself.
Twilight must have forgot about Lesson Zero. But more seriously, I like Twilight's thoughts about the Celestia/Sunset relationship and how they differ from her own. Twilight has always put Celestia on a pedestal, so seeing her think things like:
... Is a nice bit of characterization. I think it reflects Twilight's mental state well, to have her think that Celestia wouldn't even care about something like this, despite the bad blood lingering between her and Sunset.
The fact that when Celestia comes through the portal, she initially thinks that Sunset has gone back to her evil ways, is so heartbreaking.
What a line to end a chapter on.