• Published 29th Dec 2018
  • 11,956 Views, 224 Comments

Passed On - Scampy



"You probably thought the pain would disappear with you, but it didn't. It just passed on to someone else." — Twilight Sparkle returns to the human world following her conversation with Sunset. Sequel to Last Light.

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IV - Chances

The next morning, Twilight sat in complete silence in the passenger’s seat of Applejack’s truck. They had set out for Canterlot High School, with Twilight intent on retrieving Sunset’s journal. It was a Saturday, and while the school was open for extra-curricular activities, there would be very few people there. If she found the journal, with any luck Spike would have the other book nearby and could receive a message without Twilight having to return through the portal. The idea of once again leaving Sunset alone in this world was one she couldn’t bear to consider.

She had turned down several offers at a place to stay the night, opting instead to sleep in a chair in the hospital’s waiting room. Sore and exhausted as she was, she didn’t regret it—had she stayed with one of the girls, it would have meant being further from Sunset, as well as even more tension.

During the night, Twilight had repeatedly mulled over the day’s events in her mind. After she’d told the other girls to leave, she had spent several hours listening to Rainbow Dash struggle to express all the sordid details of Sunset’s death. As the story had progressed, Twilight found herself becoming progressively angrier and more concerned for the girl telling it.

Rainbow Dash remembered everything a little too well, from the words she’d said to Sunset on the night of her fall, to the minute details of the empty glance Sunset had given her atop the parking garage. What had stuck with Rainbow Dash more than anything though, as she’d kept repeating, was the sound Sunset made on impact. She had described it so many times—a dull thud masking several sickening cracks—that when Twilight closed her eyes, she could almost hear it herself.

Even as her anger towards the girls had continued to swell and recede, Twilight had been unable to prevent herself from once again offering comfort to a sobbing Rainbow Dash. Why had she done that? Rainbow herself had said that Sunset was dead because of her actions—actions Twilight was now keenly aware of—and yet Twilight couldn’t help but try and make her feel better. Her own kind nature was driving her further into spite, and she shuddered at the thought of where that path could lead her.

So when Applejack came to pick her up, Twilight had not said a word. Was that a healthy way to process this? Was there a healthy way to process this? For that matter, what did processing Sunset’s death even mean? It’s not like Twilight could just think about it really hard until she didn’t feel bad anymore. Talking to any of the girls was only further tainting her despair with anger, so that was a terrible idea. Maybe it didn’t matter what she did. Maybe her heart was now just as scarred as Sunset’s lifeless body, damaged beyond repair.

Twilight rested her head on the window of the car. She could feel every bump and vibration as the truck made its way through the city, past countless pedestrians. She found herself wondering how many of them had lost someone the way she had. Suicide in Equestria was an unbelievably rare event, but here? Surely it must be a more common occurrence if people treated each other the way they had treated Sunset. Twilight was still shocked at how quickly suspicion of Sunset had turned to malice, as if all the students were simply waiting for an excuse to condemn her.

Applejack had remained silent as she drove, though as the school building came into view, Twilight could see her glancing to the side, as if she were wondering how to approach a conversation.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking...” Applejack finally spoke. “What is it you’re planning to do once we get there?”

Twilight didn’t bother to look away from the window. “I need to get Sunset’s journal, and she told me it was there.”

“When was that?” Applejack asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” Twilight said. Explaining how she had witnessed Sunset’s final moments would require her to relive that memory, something she was not prepared to do. “What’s important is getting the journal.”

“Uhm... If you say so,” Applejack said. She pulled the truck into the school’s parking lot. “So, how’re you holding up?”

“Nnngh...” Twilight couldn’t help but groan. “Applejack, I really don’t want to talk right now, okay?”

Applejack turned away. “Alright. I don’t blame you, to be honest. I don’t want to be having this conversation either, or any conversation for that matter.”

Twilight only nodded as she unlocked the door.

“And yet...” Applejack continued, causing Twilight to stop. “We gotta have it, Twilight. Pretending otherwise just ain’t being fair to you, or to me.”

Twilight let out a sigh. As much as she hated it, as much as her mind fought to convince her that stoicism would see her through this, she knew Applejack was right. Still, being an initially unwilling participant came with a degree of exasperation that carried into Twilight’s tone.

“Well?” Twilight said, turning in her seat to face Applejack. “You want to talk? Talk.”

“I... I get it, Twilight. You’re mad. I’d be pretty confused if you weren’t, really.” Applejack looked her in the eyes. “But I hope you know none of us wanted this to happen.”

“It did, though,” Twilight said. “I don’t care what your intentions were then, and I don’t care what they are now. Remorse won’t bring Sunset back.”

“Nothing will bring her back, hon,” Applejack said. “I know that hurts to hear. It hurts to say, too.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Twilight’s voice rose a bit. “I don’t need you to tell me that it hurts!”

“I hear you,” Applejack said. “I never meant to imply you weren’t suffering too. I just want you to know you don’t have to go through this alone.”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Is that what you told Sunset when I asked you to look after her?”

“I... Twilight, I know how upset you are,” Applejack said. “And you’ve got every right to be. If taking that anger out me will make you feel better, then go right ahead.” Even as Applejack spoke, Twilight could see tears brimming in her eyes, and she felt her stomach drop.

“I-I didn’t...” Twilight trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“But hate won’t make you feel better, will it?” Applejack said. “You know that better than anyone.”

Twilight thought back to what she had said to Rainbow Dash the night before, and the overwhelming guilt that followed. “Y-yeah,” she said. “Yeah, I do know.”

“It’s not easy to avoid,” Applejack replied. “A few years ago, when my parents passed in an accident, I was so keen on finding someone to blame. The driver, the doctors, the folks who made the car... Anyone, so long as I had a name I could focus the pain on. But all it did was make me feel worse and worse.”

Applejack looked over, and Twilight felt a hand tentatively cover her own. “And unlike me, you do got people to blame, and rightly so,” Applejack said. “You got me, the other girls, the whole dang school if we’re being honest. And I won’t say you’re wrong for hating every single one of us.”

“I.. I don’t want to hate anyone,” Twilight said.

“I know you don’t,” Applejack said. “And you don’t have to. But the longer you avoid talking to the people who hurt you, the worse that hurt’s gonna be. If I’d just taken a moment to talk to Sunset—to really listen to her—w-we...” She looked up at Twilight, her green eyes laced with tears. “We wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we?”

Twilight had no idea how to respond. Part of her yearned to embrace Applejack, to tell her it was all okay and nothing was her fault. That wasn’t true though, and Twilight was certain Applejack knew that, too.

“I suppose we wouldn’t,” Twilight said.

“Yeah,” Applejack said, her voice growing softer. “But I didn’t, s-so here we are...”

The two of them sat in uneasy silence. Applejack’s hand was still holding Twilight’s own, and Twilight could feel the other girl tremble slightly with every breath. She thought of Rainbow Dash the night before, shaking and sobbing in her arms, and suddenly Twilight felt the same surge of contempt for her own anger that she’d felt as she’d held Rainbow Dash.

“You didn’t give Sunset a chance,” Twilight said. She squeezed Applejack’s hand. “But I can give one to you.”

For a moment, neither of them moved. Then, Twilight felt Applejack’s hand squeeze back.

The two of them stayed like that for a while, until the school’s clock tower rang out. Applejack was the first to speak.

“Want me to come with you?”

Twilight shook her head. “That’s alright. I can find it on my own.”

“I gotcha. Oh, and before you go, I have something for you,” Applejack said. She reached into her pocket and produced a small phone. “Rarity gave me this last night. All our numbers are programmed in already, so just flip it open and click a name, and you’ll be able to reach any of us.”

Twilight took the device, opening it slowly. “Thanks,” she said. “Tell Rarity I, uhm, appreciate it.”

“Well I’m not going anywhere just yet,” Applejack said. “If you wanna go looking for the journal by yourself, that’s fine. You’re gonna need someone to drive you places, though.”

“Applejack, you don’t have to—”

“Don’t you worry about it, Twilight. I’d rather not spend the day alone, anyhow,” Applejack said.

Twilight nodded, giving Applejack a faint smile. “I’ll see you when I get back then.”

“I’ll be here,” Applejack said, nodding.

With that, Twilight exited the truck and made her way into the school.