In Equestria, everypony is pretty open about fucking. You can do it anytime, anywhere, with just about anypony. Especially with good friends. It turns out Anon is pretty shy about the whole thing
9912127 I dislike the idea that somebody is pier-pressured through anger, ‘interventions’ and outright implications of FORCE to have sex with anybody, and believe that such a thing IS rape. They are the same things.
Ok, hello I'm back. Been away from here for a bit, but oooh boy have I come back to an interesting fic.
So...I'ma just be frank here and tell you what I think. And that's that the MC here has a spine of jelly.
I mean for starters he should've explained his 'horrible masturbatory habits' clearly, and not mumbled his incoherent nonsense. For example -
"On my world, masturbation is something everyone does, but no one talks about. Having sex in public will get you arrested, and we are certainly nowhere near as flippant with getting some release as you lot. There's usually a few drinks, flowers and dates involved before a guy can get so much as an intense kiss, let alone get lucky. Sure there are the rare times that a guy can get it after talking with a woman for a short time, but like I said, it's uncommon for most guys. The whole thing here is frankly too much for me to just 'get on with', and if you were really my friends, you'd understand that my and your cultures are too different to be changed overnight by an angry intervention."
There, done.
To be frank again, he gave unto the peer pressure far too easily. The whole thing is screaming forced sexual abuse to me. He clearly has a problem with the casualness of their sexual culture, and has every right not to want to participate. I'd be the same in his shoes, and no amount of disappointed looks and angry words would change my fucking mind. Jesus, I know this is clop with plot, but this is a breath away from that dark tag mate.
I just don't get the MC. He just breaks and let's his morals go that easily?
On the whole, it's an interesting story you've got here mate. Though if it's going to go the predictable route, as this chapter would imply, then I'm probs going to call it quits in the next chapter or so.
Let's see if you can pull something fun out of the hat, I hope you can to keep me interested
I can accept the protagonist being a complete pushover as a contrivance to keep the story rolling, but something about Pinkie Pie being completely booted out of the picture as soon as Anon starts to consider trying to embrace Equestria's approach to sex just doesn't sit right with me. The first chapter does so much to emphasise the relationship between Anon and Pinkie (particularly how Pinkie feels about Anon), it feels like if anypony will be able to ease him into casual sex it would be his very best pony friend, she's on the cover, it's called Pinkie's Politeness Practice... Then Anon spends the next chapter publicly finger-banging and getting a magic blowie from Rarity after alluding to Anon eating out some other random mares.
Which I find to be very sad, because this is pretty much validating Pinkie's fears about Anon being willing to have sex with other mares but not with her. I understand that the whole thing is supposed to be about how sex is just something of no consequence to Equestrians and that Pinkie Pie is totally 100% okay with Anon having sex with other mares (and in fact she'd think something was wrong if he insisted upon exclusively sleeping with her as covered in the first chapter), but thematically it just doesn't feel right at all.
It's your story and you do you and all that, but I have to be honest and say that such an about-turn has taken the wind out of this story's sails for me, which is a shame because the first chapter was genuinely excellent.
9913219 Ah that really bums me out. I think a lot of people are used to small clop stories on Fimfic because those get you the best results for follows and such, and they keep it simple, but I'd aimed for a 'best for last' angle for Pinkie. Her lesson is special and I wanted to pick 2 other ponies to give a lesson so it felt like a development over time.
I think what most of the dissatisfied comments have taught me is that there's a big desire for more stories in Sex-Questria worlds, but anything coercive really bothers readers, especially when it comes to respecting other cultures. I'm interested in doing more stories with Sex-Questria and I'm going to take a lot of your and others feedback onboard.
9912909 9912546 Just wanted to say thanks for the feedback you two. The intervention never really came out great and went through quite a few iterations. This was how I ended up leaving it. Versions where Anon lashed out more felt like they contradicted his choice of being taught and I never got it 100% where every pre-reader liked it. Bit of a missed opportunity in a lot of ways, but this is what I'm sticking to. I'm not comfortable with any more big rewrites for what is essentially clop practice. Some of the future chapters can address Anon's issues, but if this isn't the kind of story you want and it makes you uncomfortable, that's totally fair.
Looking at a lot of the feedback I think there's a lot of interest in a setting like this, which is where I think most of the critical comments stem from. I'm interested in doing another story in Sex-Questria and I'll try to take a lot of your criticism onboard for the next one and with the future chapters here.
Where you WILL put out, or you will be kicked out of your social circles.
Yes, that's roughly how herding works, aside from the incest. If a society developed with herding instincts as a guide rather than the Religious shaming we got something similar to this story could be what would happen.
This complex social dynamic holds the wild horse bands together, and each individual knows his or her place in the order. Rules of band behavior are carefully followed. Punishment to a young animal is swift, usually just a head movement with ears laid back or a nip or gentle kick. Affectionate displays of mutual grooming (simultaneously nibbling each other's necks and backs) are frequent between family members, occasionally even between the band stallion and his juvenile sons. Mutual grooming feels good and lessens tensions between these powerful mammals.
Doesn't make it right mind you. You could easily draw parallels between it and the equally wrong religious shaming of homosexuality. But this is a fictional world with fictional characters with fictional porn plot social dynamics. No one is saying this is something to aspire to or draw morals values from and anyone who thinks it is trying to teach morals or how things should be is probably too young to be looking at porn in the first place.
But yeah Anon folded too fast for me too, but I just think that's a porn pacing decision. Cutting out the development to get to the sex faster.
Really well written. I like the different viewpoints of both societies and how Anon is trying to adapt to this. Clop with a good story always is a huge plus for me. Maybe I'm in the minority considering how other comments here are but I think you did a very good job so far.
Looking forward to more and an upvote and a fave from me.
I find this clop with a plot story rather enjoyable. It's an interesting concept that I thought I wouldn't find interesting, but here I am, wanting more!
Assuming that most of the complaints are from folks genuinely interested in some variant of sex-questria, in a more serious and long-term story project I could see many of said complaints having merit. Heck, I had a couple similar qualms myself about the MCs timidness in 'Herding Instincts'.
But a smaller clop-centric fic like this? The timidness of the MC is fine if the author has no intention of a more expansive conflict arc. It's not like the MC wasn't free to dismiss the intervention and hold his ground if he was truly dead set against it.
For those of you that have major qualms with the MC and story... Write your own story in this verse. Seriously. I'm sure myself, in addition to many others, would be interested in seeing what you come up with.
9913449 Why show that timidness at all, then? If all this is meant to be is clop, wouldn't it make more sense to just have the main character act like a stereotypical male and revel in all of the casual public sex that this world would offer? That's not how it went, though. Conflict was introduced and resolved unsatisfactorily to many commenters.
I agree with you; I'd be quite interested to see this concept treated seriously. Clash of cultural norms is one of my favorite things about HiE, and you don't see a subject that's much more likely to result in a clash than sex.
9913449 If this somehow results in people making more Casual Sex Equestria stories, that will be one of the most hilariously ironic things possible. I genuinely love this kink and wanted people to write more because they liked the story. Now I'm just imagining people thinking, "Fuck you, Horse girls, I'll make more casual sex-questria because PPP sucked."
9913561 Frankly, it doesn't seem like most people actually understand the core conflict. Likewise, the amount of "how dare you hold it against Anon that he masturbates instead of having sex with the mares" in a clop story built around an excuse plot is mind blowing.
9913288 Nothing really wrong with being bi, gay, straight, trans ect. but imagine if you where gay, and one of your friends just strutted up and forced you to eat her out because she doesn't agree with it? Or she basically blackmails you with "if you don't do this, Sunburst wont like you as much!"
The story itself is fine for the most part, but that section could easily be removed and nothing would change, just make Starlight bisexual but not enjoy the taste of cum and Twilight is helping her get used to it.
9913561 Precisely because this is fantasy the stereotypical male template doesn't need to fit. Because what is stereotypical is actually a necessity in real life; men having to better themselves and take the agency to pursue women, relationships, and sex with said women VERY rarely taking that agency upon themselves.
That's precisely why a lot of media portraying romance for male consumption doesn't portray stereotypical males, but rather more passive men who receive attention from women way out of their league just for being a 'nice guys'. Not many men get a chance to feel inherently valuable like that, hence that desire often gets catered to in fantasy.
It's the same for romance media for women but to a more extreme degree in lack of agency. Bland generic blankslate of a woman meets immortal vampire, billionaire Playboy with a dark side, and other guys who could have their pick of nearly any woman... But choose to value said blankslate over the rest and she is taken along in a whirlwind of events and emotional toils she has no control over.
But yeah, it can be damn frustrating for guys to read from the viewpoint of a male character who is written with a low degree of agency. To a certain point you begin to demand they take control of their situation. That threshold is different for everyone, and a lot of stories take it too damn far... But these stories exist for a reason, and I try to not hold it against the authors when I've not sunk much in the way of time and money into a story. Especially when plenty of others may enjoy said story even if I don't.
Gotta say sorry for the small post spam, just wanted to say other then the small Starlight but that was slightly uncomfortable, the story is rather nice, earned a favourite from me personally. I liked it, so keep up the good work, me' dude.
...ok, how old is this guy? This whole things started with this (what seemed to be) beta male trying to "m'lady" his self around an alien culture to a inexperienced teen who's just socially stupid.
Are you gonna toy with the idea of jealousy? Like Anon getting bothered by seeing one of his friends he was intimate with getting it on with another stallion?
I like it. Noticing a lot of haters in the comments Don't let it getcha down some people will hunt for problems or controversy so they can make shure there opinions are heard loud and clear so everybody knows there the most important person in the room. Even if it's at the expense of creative freedom. I mean if we all wrote stories every one is comfortable with this would be a bland site
9913830 Yeah, story's mostly fine except for a few points that have already been pointed out by multiple people so I won't repeat them. What irritates me is the extremely negative attitude some people are giving off here.
9913845 Yeah some people are a little bit to negative. Other then the one thing that bothered me, the story itself is pretty fun, it's the usual clopfic that doesn't take it self to seriously, and sadly some people took it..well, too seriously.
9913805 It gets touched on very soon. Next few chapters, though it mostly follows Dash. Anon will also talk about it with some of the girls much later.
9913831 Yeah if you want to reread that part, I edited every instance I found. I'm very interested in how you feel about it after edits. But yes, I greatly appreciate when people point out issues in the story so I can learn from them. But if it's a big flaw intrinsic to the story, I can't usually do much about it after the fact. This was a clever, easy fix, so thanks.
9913848 Gave it a quick read through, you left the parts that where pretty good while editing the weird psudo gay conversion, good job. makes it flow a bit better, and doesn't come out of left field as much. Good job, my dude.
I was hoping this would turn out to be a weird goose chace in which Pinky tries to give Anon his first blow job. Add some competition between the other Main 6 maby a bit of romance. But hey, don't let this lone comment discourage you from reading this. Just because this didnt turn out the way I hoped it did, doesn't mean its bad, the author's got talent.
I have to say that this is an exceptionally well written story. I know that not everyone likes everything about it, and there are things the I would also like to see a tad different, but on the whole, this is excellent. And I really loved that last line!
Overall, I wanted to say that I actually like a touch of dark in alt-universe stories. And there is a lot of material here for that. The concept that the a core tenant of the culture would be considered rape by Western cultures, yet is performed with nothing but the best intentions, adds a layer of flavor to the story that I really appreciate.
I actually love that you're showing how acts that would be nothing but praiseworthy to one culture are actually hurting people who were raised differently.
9913830 “Hunt for problems or controversy” maybe some of us would have just liked the trigger warning that comes with the “Rape” tag? Because this story definitely toes that line.
Man, Its weird to me people are upset that other people are trying to logic it, what do you expect? The point of a plot in stories is to develop a personal emotional interest, positive or negative, that makes people invest in some manner.
A plot that everyone hates but talks about is just as good as a plot everyone loves and talks about if they come back to it, because that just means that despite their dislike, the story is either believable enough, or causes interesting questions to be asked or thought upon.
Something even the most veteran writers seem to mistake is that even a negative response can be a positive thing, depending on the topic at hand. A character you liked died, and now you stopped reading the whole story? Does that mean the author was wrong for killing the character? Nope, it means he's wrong for not creating characters you could split your interests into just as much.
Think for a moment, let's say an unthinkable thing happened in My Hero Academia, for example, happened, and Midoriya fuckin died. Would you stop watching if the show kept going, upset as you'd be? if so, why?
That kinda thing.
If a character is introduced that everyone dislikes for their traits, should the author just kill them off or have them fade into irrelevancy? Nope. Either have them go through so hectic character growth, or at some point imply heavily that these traits are covering up significant and interesting aspects of their personality. Better to have your characters die when you fully see their potential, then to mewl into death a disappointing mess.
Least, that's my perspective on writing....
Although I think I went a bit off topic of my original point, which was basically not to shit on people who dislike the things happening in the story, as they obviously show interest enough to think about it on a more serious level, which is a flattering amount of attention despite disagreeing....
Least I think, author could think otherwise, I don't know.
I really don't understand the backlash towards this story. I've seen stories with much more objectionable themes. I want to see this story finished, and I hope Le Author doesn't get too discouraged.
I'm enjoying this here just as much as I'm enjoying it in the land of greens. I do like PotatoBonzai's "Starlight is Bi" idea though. There are plenty of us enjoying the ride so far. Please continue.
9912127
I dislike the idea that somebody is pier-pressured through anger, ‘interventions’ and outright implications of FORCE to have sex with anybody, and believe that such a thing IS rape. They are the same things.
9912543
That is exactly what I was thinking like people just chill it’s just a Fanfic chill
9912546
Literally exactly this.
9912788
Well I suppose it could be worse
Anon could've dock-pressured instead
If I could double downvote this, I would.
you'd* Omit ‘you’. Decapitalise 'that'.
Omit right wedge
At least Rarity has some fucking class. Where was this attitude at the intervention?
9912788
I agree. culture or not, this is wrong, and they should be respecting him.
Geez, calm your tits people. It's a damn story, and compared to some of the real rapey/dark stories here this is extremely tame.
The summary did a good job highlighting what we're in for, so it's on you for getting upset after reading it, not the author.
Ok, hello I'm back. Been away from here for a bit, but oooh boy have I come back to an interesting fic.
So...I'ma just be frank here and tell you what I think. And that's that the MC here has a spine of jelly.
I mean for starters he should've explained his 'horrible masturbatory habits' clearly, and not mumbled his incoherent nonsense. For example -
"On my world, masturbation is something everyone does, but no one talks about. Having sex in public will get you arrested, and we are certainly nowhere near as flippant with getting some release as you lot. There's usually a few drinks, flowers and dates involved before a guy can get so much as an intense kiss, let alone get lucky. Sure there are the rare times that a guy can get it after talking with a woman for a short time, but like I said, it's uncommon for most guys. The whole thing here is frankly too much for me to just 'get on with', and if you were really my friends, you'd understand that my and your cultures are too different to be changed overnight by an angry intervention."
There, done.
To be frank again, he gave unto the peer pressure far too easily. The whole thing is screaming forced sexual abuse to me. He clearly has a problem with the casualness of their sexual culture, and has every right not to want to participate. I'd be the same in his shoes, and no amount of disappointed looks and angry words would change my fucking mind. Jesus, I know this is clop with plot, but this is a breath away from that dark tag mate.
I just don't get the MC. He just breaks and let's his morals go that easily?
On the whole, it's an interesting story you've got here mate. Though if it's going to go the predictable route, as this chapter would imply, then I'm probs going to call it quits in the next chapter or so.
Let's see if you can pull something fun out of the hat, I hope you can to keep me interested
9912909
Bingo.
"Filly's", with the apostrophe.
"Partner's".
"Ponyville", capitalised - it's a proper noun, a name.
I can accept the protagonist being a complete pushover as a contrivance to keep the story rolling, but something about Pinkie Pie being completely booted out of the picture as soon as Anon starts to consider trying to embrace Equestria's approach to sex just doesn't sit right with me. The first chapter does so much to emphasise the relationship between Anon and Pinkie (particularly how Pinkie feels about Anon), it feels like if anypony will be able to ease him into casual sex it would be his very best pony friend, she's on the cover, it's called Pinkie's Politeness Practice... Then Anon spends the next chapter publicly finger-banging and getting a magic blowie from Rarity after alluding to Anon eating out some other random mares.
Which I find to be very sad, because this is pretty much validating Pinkie's fears about Anon being willing to have sex with other mares but not with her. I understand that the whole thing is supposed to be about how sex is just something of no consequence to Equestrians and that Pinkie Pie is totally 100% okay with Anon having sex with other mares (and in fact she'd think something was wrong if he insisted upon exclusively sleeping with her as covered in the first chapter), but thematically it just doesn't feel right at all.
It's your story and you do you and all that, but I have to be honest and say that such an about-turn has taken the wind out of this story's sails for me, which is a shame because the first chapter was genuinely excellent.
Yes! Finally! This is a true example of what belongs in the "Sex-Questria" category.
9913219
Ah that really bums me out. I think a lot of people are used to small clop stories on Fimfic because those get you the best results for follows and such, and they keep it simple, but I'd aimed for a 'best for last' angle for Pinkie. Her lesson is special and I wanted to pick 2 other ponies to give a lesson so it felt like a development over time.
I think what most of the dissatisfied comments have taught me is that there's a big desire for more stories in Sex-Questria worlds, but anything coercive really bothers readers, especially when it comes to respecting other cultures. I'm interested in doing more stories with Sex-Questria and I'm going to take a lot of your and others feedback onboard.
Good chapter!! Glad to see Anon getting used to htings!!
Can't wait for more!!! Hope you decide to do my previous idea on this story!!
9912909
9912546
Just wanted to say thanks for the feedback you two. The intervention never really came out great and went through quite a few iterations. This was how I ended up leaving it. Versions where Anon lashed out more felt like they contradicted his choice of being taught and I never got it 100% where every pre-reader liked it. Bit of a missed opportunity in a lot of ways, but this is what I'm sticking to. I'm not comfortable with any more big rewrites for what is essentially clop practice. Some of the future chapters can address Anon's issues, but if this isn't the kind of story you want and it makes you uncomfortable, that's totally fair.
Looking at a lot of the feedback I think there's a lot of interest in a setting like this, which is where I think most of the critical comments stem from. I'm interested in doing another story in Sex-Questria and I'll try to take a lot of your criticism onboard for the next one and with the future chapters here.
9912546
Yes, that's roughly how herding works, aside from the incest. If a society developed with herding instincts as a guide rather than the Religious shaming we got something similar to this story could be what would happen.
Doesn't make it right mind you. You could easily draw parallels between it and the equally wrong religious shaming of homosexuality. But this is a fictional world with fictional characters with fictional porn plot social dynamics. No one is saying this is something to aspire to or draw morals values from and anyone who thinks it is trying to teach morals or how things should be is probably too young to be looking at porn in the first place.
But yeah Anon folded too fast for me too, but I just think that's a porn pacing decision. Cutting out the development to get to the sex faster.
Really well written. I like the different viewpoints of both societies and how Anon is trying to adapt to this. Clop with a good story always is a huge plus for me. Maybe I'm in the minority considering how other comments here are but I think you did a very good job so far.
Looking forward to more and an upvote and a fave from me.
9912909
The Master Has Spoken
I find this clop with a plot story rather enjoyable. It's an interesting concept that I thought I wouldn't find interesting, but here I am, wanting more!
Assuming that most of the complaints are from folks genuinely interested in some variant of sex-questria, in a more serious and long-term story project I could see many of said complaints having merit. Heck, I had a couple similar qualms myself about the MCs timidness in 'Herding Instincts'.
But a smaller clop-centric fic like this? The timidness of the MC is fine if the author has no intention of a more expansive conflict arc. It's not like the MC wasn't free to dismiss the intervention and hold his ground if he was truly dead set against it.
For those of you that have major qualms with the MC and story... Write your own story in this verse. Seriously. I'm sure myself, in addition to many others, would be interested in seeing what you come up with.
9913449
Why show that timidness at all, then? If all this is meant to be is clop, wouldn't it make more sense to just have the main character act like a stereotypical male and revel in all of the casual public sex that this world would offer? That's not how it went, though. Conflict was introduced and resolved unsatisfactorily to many commenters.
I agree with you; I'd be quite interested to see this concept treated seriously. Clash of cultural norms is one of my favorite things about HiE, and you don't see a subject that's much more likely to result in a clash than sex.
9913449
If this somehow results in people making more Casual Sex Equestria stories, that will be one of the most hilariously ironic things possible. I genuinely love this kink and wanted people to write more because they liked the story. Now I'm just imagining people thinking, "Fuck you, Horse girls, I'll make more casual sex-questria because PPP sucked."
Like... holy shit that's hilarious.
This gave me a boner. Good stuff 👍
9913561
Frankly, it doesn't seem like most people actually understand the core conflict. Likewise, the amount of "how dare you hold it against Anon that he masturbates instead of having sex with the mares" in a clop story built around an excuse plot is mind blowing.
9913288
Nothing really wrong with being bi, gay, straight, trans ect. but imagine if you where gay, and one of your friends just strutted up and forced you to eat her out because she doesn't agree with it? Or she basically blackmails you with "if you don't do this, Sunburst wont like you as much!"
The story itself is fine for the most part, but that section could easily be removed and nothing would change, just make Starlight bisexual but not enjoy the taste of cum and Twilight is helping her get used to it.
9913449
Tbh, personally the rest of the story is pretty great.
the Starlight semi rape/blackmail gay conversion thing could easily be removed though. It's a bit rapey for a story with no rape tag.
Anon is fine though.
9913561
Precisely because this is fantasy the stereotypical male template doesn't need to fit. Because what is stereotypical is actually a necessity in real life; men having to better themselves and take the agency to pursue women, relationships, and sex with said women VERY rarely taking that agency upon themselves.
That's precisely why a lot of media portraying romance for male consumption doesn't portray stereotypical males, but rather more passive men who receive attention from women way out of their league just for being a 'nice guys'. Not many men get a chance to feel inherently valuable like that, hence that desire often gets catered to in fantasy.
It's the same for romance media for women but to a more extreme degree in lack of agency. Bland generic blankslate of a woman meets immortal vampire, billionaire Playboy with a dark side, and other guys who could have their pick of nearly any woman... But choose to value said blankslate over the rest and she is taken along in a whirlwind of events and emotional toils she has no control over.
But yeah, it can be damn frustrating for guys to read from the viewpoint of a male character who is written with a low degree of agency. To a certain point you begin to demand they take control of their situation. That threshold is different for everyone, and a lot of stories take it too damn far... But these stories exist for a reason, and I try to not hold it against the authors when I've not sunk much in the way of time and money into a story. Especially when plenty of others may enjoy said story even if I don't.
Gotta say sorry for the small post spam, just wanted to say other then the small Starlight but that was slightly uncomfortable, the story is rather nice, earned a favourite from me personally. I liked it, so keep up the good work, me' dude.
Haggard
...ok, how old is this guy? This whole things started with this (what seemed to be) beta male trying to "m'lady" his self around an alien culture to a inexperienced teen who's just socially stupid.
9913637
I think that's the best way I've ever seen described why I think most HiE MCs are trash and yet can still be popular.
Fouls?
Are you gonna toy with the idea of jealousy? Like Anon getting bothered by seeing one of his friends he was intimate with getting it on with another stallion?
9913630
Actually... that's so simple and brilliant. Sure.
I like it.
Noticing a lot of haters in the comments
Don't let it getcha down some people will hunt for problems or controversy so they can make shure there opinions are heard loud and clear so everybody knows there the most important person in the room.
Even if it's at the expense of creative freedom.
I mean if we all wrote stories every one is comfortable with this would be a bland site
9913822
Oh, didn't expect that. Cheers.
9913830
Yeah, story's mostly fine except for a few points that have already been pointed out by multiple people so I won't repeat them.
What irritates me is the extremely negative attitude some people are giving off here.
9913845
Yeah some people are a little bit to negative. Other then the one thing that bothered me, the story itself is pretty fun, it's the usual clopfic that doesn't take it self to seriously, and sadly some people took it..well, too seriously.
9913805
It gets touched on very soon. Next few chapters, though it mostly follows Dash. Anon will also talk about it with some of the girls much later.
9913831
Yeah if you want to reread that part, I edited every instance I found. I'm very interested in how you feel about it after edits. But yes, I greatly appreciate when people point out issues in the story so I can learn from them. But if it's a big flaw intrinsic to the story, I can't usually do much about it after the fact. This was a clever, easy fix, so thanks.
9913848
Gave it a quick read through, you left the parts that where pretty good while editing the weird psudo gay conversion, good job. makes it flow a bit better, and doesn't come out of left field as much. Good job, my dude.
9913717
No specified age really, though in my head I imagined him younger and less experienced. Maybe freshman in college just to throw out an answer.
Can't wait to see where this goes, next.
I am down for this happening.
I was hoping this would turn out to be a weird goose chace in which Pinky tries to give Anon his first blow job. Add some competition between the other Main 6 maby a bit of romance. But hey, don't let this lone comment discourage you from reading this. Just because this didnt turn out the way I hoped it did, doesn't mean its bad, the author's got talent.
I have to say that this is an exceptionally well written story. I know that not everyone likes everything about it, and there are things the I would also like to see a tad different, but on the whole, this is excellent. And I really loved that last line!
Overall, I wanted to say that I actually like a touch of dark in alt-universe stories. And there is a lot of material here for that. The concept that the a core tenant of the culture would be considered rape by Western cultures, yet is performed with nothing but the best intentions, adds a layer of flavor to the story that I really appreciate.
I actually love that you're showing how acts that would be nothing but praiseworthy to one culture are actually hurting people who were raised differently.
Rarity swallowing all his cum so it doesn't stain his clothes is so her.
9913830
“Hunt for problems or controversy” maybe some of us would have just liked the trigger warning that comes with the “Rape” tag? Because this story definitely toes that line.
Man, Its weird to me people are upset that other people are trying to logic it, what do you expect? The point of a plot in stories is to develop a personal emotional interest, positive or negative, that makes people invest in some manner.
A plot that everyone hates but talks about is just as good as a plot everyone loves and talks about if they come back to it, because that just means that despite their dislike, the story is either believable enough, or causes interesting questions to be asked or thought upon.
Something even the most veteran writers seem to mistake is that even a negative response can be a positive thing, depending on the topic at hand. A character you liked died, and now you stopped reading the whole story? Does that mean the author was wrong for killing the character? Nope, it means he's wrong for not creating characters you could split your interests into just as much.
Think for a moment, let's say an unthinkable thing happened in My Hero Academia, for example, happened, and Midoriya fuckin died. Would you stop watching if the show kept going, upset as you'd be? if so, why?
That kinda thing.
If a character is introduced that everyone dislikes for their traits, should the author just kill them off or have them fade into irrelevancy? Nope. Either have them go through so hectic character growth, or at some point imply heavily that these traits are covering up significant and interesting aspects of their personality. Better to have your characters die when you fully see their potential, then to mewl into death a disappointing mess.
Least, that's my perspective on writing....
Although I think I went a bit off topic of my original point, which was basically not to shit on people who dislike the things happening in the story, as they obviously show interest enough to think about it on a more serious level, which is a flattering amount of attention despite disagreeing....
Least I think, author could think otherwise, I don't know.
I really don't understand the backlash towards this story. I've seen stories with much more objectionable themes.
I want to see this story finished, and I hope Le Author doesn't get too discouraged.
I'm enjoying this here just as much as I'm enjoying it in the land of greens. I do like PotatoBonzai's "Starlight is Bi" idea though. There are plenty of us enjoying the ride so far. Please continue.
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Kek you're not wrong.