Keep Pretending, Two of Three

by Impossible Numbers

Grand Dreams, Wordsmith

Dear Pa,

I have just arrived in backwater Ponyville. Doesn’t show up on the map, so it’s perfect! An up-and-coming town for an up-and-coming stallion. Trust me, I’m going to make miracles here.

Locals are pretty neighbourly. Already made friends at the bakery.

Grand Pear.

---

Dear Pa,

The bakers here sent me to some apple farm! Alas, the bigwigs own the land “by royal appointment”. Big for their britches here, but that’s why I damn well love it!

The old pear charm’ll wrangle us a farm.

Grand Pear.

---

Dear Pa,

Life Lesson Number One: Just because the main farmhoof is a mare, don’t expect her to be instantly charmed. The Apple family daughter runs things. She’s got a tongue like a whip!

Grand Pear.

---

Dear Grand Pear,

I know your “wrangling”. Tried asking nicely, idiot?

Papa Pear.

---

Dear Pa,

Yes. It worked.

Where’s the fun in that?

Grand Pear.

---

Dear Mister Pear,

This here’s the map laying out your new pear farm. I got you a spot in the marketplace.

Miss Smith.

---

Dear Miss Smith,

Thank you for all your help, from the bottom of my heart. To show my appreciation, may I invite you to dinner tonight?

Grand Pear.

---

Dear Mister Pear,

Don’t you come on to me! Ma warned me about Pears like you. This is strictly business.

Miss Smith.

---

Dear Miss Smith,

I apologize. You see, my old town Vanhoover was so stuffy and hectic. It’s incredible to come to such a peaceful place and meet such relaxed friends.

Would you consider dinner tonight? As friends?

Mister Pear.

---

Dear Mister Pear,

Well, alright. It wouldn’t be neighbourly otherwise.

Miss Smith.

---

Dear Grand Pear,

You wanna meet up again tonight? Tell me more crazy stories! That last one still makes me laugh.

Miss Smith.

---

Damn delighted to.

Mister Pear.

---

Again tonight? You’re a rare find. We could play that horseshoe-tossing game again.

Granny Smith.

---

Dear Granny,

Roll this way, Apple-Of-My-Eye!

Grandy.

---

Dear Grandy,

Again tonight?

Granny.

---

Dear Granny,

Whoa, slow down. I’m losing my sleep.

All right.

Grandy.

---

Dear Granny,

I’m concerned. How come you didn’t show up last night?

Grandy.

---

Dear Grandy,

Ma and Pa stopped me. Pears are best kept at a distance, apparently.

Forget their rules. I’m slipping out.

Granny.

---

Dear Granny,

It’s nonsense. Look at us. We’re thick as thieves, stealing away with all the charm. Still, it might be worth pretending we distrust each other. Keep up appearances.

Can’t wait for tonight, my dear “Crabapple”!

Grandy.

---

“Prickly Pear”,

Charred Oak sent you this. I trust him.

I hate pretending we hate each other. Take me to Las Pegasus like you promised! This farm-work is killing me.

Granny.

---

“Crabapple”,

Use your secret name!

Yes, what my kin say about you is beyond shocking. Be strong!

We need money first, which means farming. At the moment, Las Pegasus is somewhat above my pay, but I'll damn well try harder.

“Prickly Pear”

---

“Prickly Pear”,

Balderdash. You said your Pa was rolling in it.

“Crabapple”

---

“Crabapple”,

Forgive a stallion a lot of things said in his passionate throes, my sweet. We will go places in time. I would promise you the moon.

“Prickly Pear”

---

“Prickly Pear”,

When? I ain't got time for daydreamers making promises their legs can't keep, you know.

“Crabapple”

---

“Crabapple”,

When I damn well please, my dear. Life is long, the pleasure limitless. Trust me.

“Prickly Pear”

---

“Prickly Pear”,

Don’t you swear at me. I asked a civil question.

“Crabapple”

---

“Crabapple”,

What is this? You used to love my swearing, not so long ago, my romantic penpal. You said it was “liberating”.

“Prickly Pear”

---

“Prickly Pear”,

Common courtesy ain’t a burden. Your pears don’t sell as well as our apples, so when is this mythical Las Pegasus trip?

“Crabapple”

---

“Prickly Pear”,

Also, you talked to Cinnamon Swirl in the square today! Leave her alone. She’s my friend. I don't want you using your tongue to wrangle other ponies, you hear?

“Crabapple”

---

“Crabapple”,

I’ll talk to whoever I want. There’s enough pear charm to go around. She’s sympathetic and a dear to boot.

Anyway, you talked to Charred Oak last night. I heard you downhill. Nothing wrong with being neighbourly, is there?

“Prickly Pear”

---

“Prickly Pear”,

None of your business! In fact, forget this! I’m telling Ma what’s been going on between us. Maybe then it’ll serve as a warning not to get drawn in by a good-for-nothing scallywag who's as honest as the day is dark.

“Crabapple”

---

To Miss Smith,

Suit yourself! I don’t want to get bogged down by a high-and-mighty workaholic who can't take a bit of ribbing. Good day to you, ma’am!

Mister Pear.

---

To Mister Pear,

Glad to hear what’s rightfully on your mind. To think that used to charm me.

Miss Smith.

---

To Miss Smith,

Alas, when you wear the mask of hatred too long, you inevitably become the mask.

Fare thee well, Crabapple!

Mister Pear.

Comments

[Scholarly-Cimmerian]

What an interesting idea for how things once were between Grand Pear and Granny Smith. I enjoyed reading the notes, and I felt a good pang when I realized the exact moment that things were going to fall apart. Damn...

Superb work.

[Impossible Numbers]

Blue Chameleon comment preserved post-deletion:

Ebonysdagger

Thanks! I kind of liked the idea that young Twilight's power made her a bit more of a handful than most children. And of course, there's the horror potential in that setup.

[new55]

That was a good story.

[SparklingTwilight]

The best of the trio. Quite a backfire.