Little soldier foal

This story is a sequel to After the fight

Within the after the fight universe. But you do not need to read the prequel to understand 98% of this.
General Dash lost a lot in the war. But perhaps the heaviest on her heart is her adoptive sister Scootaloo.
Today is her birthday.

Inspired by a part of the Avatar: the last airbender episode "The tales of ba sing se."

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Silent Echo

Silent Echo #1 · Jul 13th, 2018 · · ·

Dame this hits right in the fells.
Poor rainbow and irho

SWEETOLEBOB18

SWEETOLEBOB18 #2 · Jul 13th, 2018 · 1 · ·

She, carefully, painted over her cutie marks, hiding the last vestiges of her identity. Anonamy (Anonymity) was a luxury that, today, she was willing to indulge in. She smiled a weak smile as she looked in the mirror. Now she was merely a wounded veteran. There were so many of them that none would think twice about her.

Rainbow felt her heart soar with self pride as the equestrian flag was raised over the Great gate. Gryphonstone had Three walls, none of which had ever been breached. Until today. It was a much needed victory, following that tragedy at stony creek.

Stony Creek is a place name & should be capitalized. Three walls isn't a place name & shouldn't be capitalized
You can get a proof reader here
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/]The Proofreader Group

Hclegend

Hclegend #3 · Jul 13th, 2018 · · ·

General Dash lost a lot in the war. But perhaps the heaviest on her heart is her adoptive sister Scootaloo.
Today is her birthday.

Is Scootaloo dead?

I bet she's dead. I mean, it's trying to be vague, but it just spells out the fact that Scootaloo fucking died in this war and Rainbow Dash is sad because feels.

Inspired by a part of the Avatar: the last airbender episode "The tales of ba sing se."

Does "inspired" in this context mean "I stole it wholesale"? Looking at this and the synopsis for Tales of Ba Sing Se, seems like you ripped off The Tale of Iroh, but without the subtlety or grace that made A:TLA good.

Maybe I'm just jaded at this point, but the whole thing feels forced. Ungodly forced. Hard to feel bad when I already know what's going to happen, but you know, I skimmed over the thing. Needs a proofreader.

CrossoverFanficReader