The Wakeup

This is my First work of fiction that has been a Full And Long Work Most are just short stories and i decided to make one nice and long. Also, There will be some cussing in this work but I'll try to keep it to a Minimum

We meet our mysterious pony on a warm summers day, In a Wreck, A plane crash,(Planes are in equestria But are just ‘rare’) Here is where this story begins…

BANG! A loud noise wakes up our pony From his unconscious slumber a Panel off the fuselage(Main Compartment(the big round part)) has fallen off of the vehicle and Impaled our Pony Right on his Barrel Gashing Deep into him this pain is what wakes him. ‘Where am I?’ He exclaims ‘Ouch! That hurts.’ He Says While he attempts to get up not realizing nor seeing the large panel that has impaled him, ‘Ahhh’ he manages to exclaim as he Removes the Now apparent piece of steel that has been impaled in his barrel (mid-section, Stomach area) wincing as he gets up he Sees a town in the distance that he Hopes that he can stay while he recovers from his large and Gaping wound. He knows that he may not survive the trek to the near-by town as all ponies Know that looks can be deceiving and he somehow knew that it could be at least a 12 kilometer trek which may be a little too far as he is losing blood at an Amazing rate. He went through the wreck looking for something that could stem the bleeding in his now stinging side that could Possibly kill him if left unchecked, As he’s rummaging through the wreck he kicks something hard and brown It was something that he had seen before, It was his luggage, The tag had been ripped off as the force of the crash was immense, He went through his luggage Not knowing that it was his but he didn’t feel bad, as somehow he subconsciously knew that it was his Luggage But still ever believing that he was going through some now dead pony’s things. He finds a large shirt that looks thick and a nice makeshift bandage that should get him close to the ever distant town. Ripping the shirt into Strips he Starts To Wrap his wound so that he can get to the clinic that the town must have else he die in this wreck as the Few other ponies that had the Pleasure to die a painless and quick death. Our pony now Starts his Hopefully short Journey to the waiting ponyville Of which he did not know. As he walks His Makeshift bandages Continue to hurt him stinging him with the unclean Fabric rubbing on his open wound Ripping more skin and Tearing out more bloodstained Fur from the Now Crimson red skin that is concealed under the Also Bloodstained shirt that is the make-shift bandage that has saved him from a slow and painful death. As he is walking towards the again ever distant town he starts to think, That he doesn’t remember much from before the crash and Hopes that This amnesia is temporary, ‘How do I know this? I don’t remember how I learnt these Terms, Nor do I remember where I came from, I-I Who am I? What’s my name? And why was I in an airplane, I Am a Pegasus after all I have Wings for fucks sake why in Celestia’s name was I flying?’ Our Mysterious pony wonders as he attempts to stretch his wings and fly Off, CRACK!A massive strike of pain Comes from His left side as his left wing breaks In Multiple places he falls to the ground with his eyes watering as the immense pain that is in his wing has no chance of Leaving as it has been broken in several places that He knows will take many months to heal, As He Checks to see if any other part of his body has any potential to Injure him further He Notices Sparks, Green Sparks of Magic Jumping Out of His Wing And Back into it, Slowly the pain starts to fade, Wondering 'How con a pegasus pony have magic? This is not possible'
however he continues to walk towards the town with the pain slowly pulsing in and out of his broken wing as the magic starts to fade and return, Taking a toll on his body his vision becomes blurry and multiplied yet he continues forward towards his ever seeming impossible goal that is the town in the distance.

We Return to our Pony Within Hours Of the crash.

Looking back he can no-longer see his once possible grave, ‘As a large plain of Grass separated the two landmarks one may lose themselves in the length that is in-between themself and their ever present goal’ He thinks to himself As he looks into the now looming forest that separates him and the Town which is now ever present as Death, ‘I’m not In – The Condition – that would – allow me – to go – much further.’ He says while panting heavily but believes that his salvation may be just a few meters ahead But he continues walking Further more Until He Collapses near a Hut Made from that of an old tree, As he passes out he sees somepony appear in the haze before his consciousness Leaves his battered and cold body.
‘Oh my, What is this, Before me? I do not think I know of this wounded pony. Come! Come inside, I have potions for health, do not worry for money, I care not of wealth’ (Credit IRC Nickname MrNumbers) Mutters Zecora as she Drags in our mystery pony Into her hut to see what can be done about the Deadly wound that has been Expertly Wrapped In the makeshift Bandage that encases the wound that was placed there by the wreck that miraculously didn’t Kill Our pony. As Zecora unwraps Our pony’s wound she discovers that he has been badly injured by a Sharp Object that Barely spared his life, Peering deeper into the wound Zecura finds that His ribs have also been broken by the object as well as his left wing in multiple places, ‘this is not a Job for me, as I shamen I may be, but a miracle worker I am not for this you’ll need magic to fix that spot.’ Zecora Says under her breath as she cleans the wound and Prepares to venture into town to find a docter/or surgeon that could help In this mystery Pony’s Predicament. But Little Did she know that the surgeon pony was not going to be needed in this case.

Editiors Note: Sorry that it’s a little short of 1K words but I sought of wrapped it up a little faster than I expected it should be about 1.2K closer to 1.3K next chapter, It’ll work out I swear.

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Mashmaster

Mashmaster #1 · Jul 26th, 2012 · · ·

Protips:
"Now I know that the first Chapter Sucks-"
So don't upload it until it's been edited. This is the only chance your fanfic is going to get on the front page and if the story really does improve later you should write those later chapters before uploading.

Now I know that the first Chapter Sucks And I can do something about that, I will when i can be bothered to Throw some more dialogue or some more into the plot just I'll do it when I have the motivation
This is probably the worst desciption you could possibly give. It tells me nothing about the story and if I did like it after reading it it makes me think there would be a massive wait for unedited chapters.

EDIT: Removed unnecessary-ness.

This sounds mean but the internet lacks tone. Keep writing bro.

Ranbo1000

Ranbo1000 #2 · Jul 26th, 2012 · · ·

972644 dude this is his first shot at writing a story. lay off!

Detective Chmilewsky

Detective Chmilewsky #3 · Jul 26th, 2012 · · ·

973155 That isn't really an excuse. He didn't really try, just look at his "description".

Nitebomber51

Nitebomber51 #4 · Jul 26th, 2012 · · ·

972644
It'll get Better as i go on, But I Just don't have the Motivation right now to make it better, The wait will only be a few days as I'm Writing the second chapter right now, But only slowly as School teachers don't really accept Writing a story at my school even my english teacher, Wow. It's cool though, It'll get better i swear.

Nitebomber51

Nitebomber51 #5 · Jul 26th, 2012 · · ·

973800
Hey Man, I'm trying come on, I'm not as good with long stories and i critisise everything about everything i don't think it'll be up to my Expectations but it well get better over time, You'll see, ALL YOU HATERS WILL SEE!