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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice!
i can hear the whisper~. anyways, this is as good as all the others. keep up the good work!
8648535
Naturally.
Me: Only our Lord and saver the flying spaghetti monster.
i.pinimg.com/736x/bd/3a/c5/bd3ac50e0a98a2d384275dc819506c2e--flying-spaghetti-monster-ramen.jpg
wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/files/im/5lclFr5.jpg
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Why do I get the feeling Twilight is a villain, Celestia is corrupt, and Arcane is Starswirl?
8649684
I'unno.
8649379
Oi! Spoilers!
My whispers tell me jokes and this story is cool
8652578
Oh I am definitely planning for that, but I can't really change this chapter now, so yeah.
I thought, that maybe since it was from Sunset's point of view: she wouldn't know what they were talking about exactly.
But you're right, I wasn't very descriptive, which means more work in the next few chapters. Exactly as planned.
P.S.: Don't bother recommending stuff. I planned for EVERYTHING. Well... Almost everything. But I appreciate the advice. Even though: I was going to act on it long before you commented. The storyline won't change no matter what ideas are... proposed.
8652630
Well, I still think giving advice is a good thing. Even if your story is planned out, it might still be helpful if someone points something out. Heck, if it doesn't help this story, maybe the advice can help you in your next story.
8652968
That is why I appreciate you giving me the advice.
How does that work out? It kinda sounds like he gets more money the faster he works, which is kinda strange.
Isn't his body in a rather poor condition? The way Rarity reacted he seems to be malnourished to a degree. Dunno, if it is a good idea for him to exhaust himself like that. Would Sunset overlook his health?
8654363
Spoiler, I guess.
Yes. Trust me: she would. As a way to encourage him to eat.
She cares about him enough to make sure he doesn't have his arms fall of, or something in that regard. That is why she offered help and originally wanted him to carry only the box. But he managed to convince her with the power of solid arguments and reassurance. Besides... the backpack didn't actually weight more than four kilos. It just feels heavier to him. Usually: he'd be able to carry twice the weight on his back without effort.
Edit: Oh, come on! Almost every time I reply to a comment - I am late by at least five minutes. WTH!
8654421
If the state of his vitals is so severe, then why is the protagonist so unconcerned with eating? One would think that he would try to noticeably adjust his diet now that the storm has passed. I know you've made a point of mentioning instances when Vadon eats, but he always eats energy bars / apples. I find it odd that he isn't snacking more, or just generally trying to enrich his nutrition and exercise plans.
8659566
All these points might or might not be told later in the story, so proceed at your own safety:
1: He's testing the limits.
2: I can't say anymore, because it'll spoil more of his character. Which will be shown, later in the story. I had about five more reasons, but all of them tell too much. You will just have to wait until I have written more of the story.
He is also a generally unhealthy person. I don't mean, that he eats fast food every week, or anything like that. He just generally doesn't exercise, however still somehow manages to stay thin, albeit: not very muscly.
8672514
8672568
He would be quite livid, I'd assume.
Some thing...
8672657
Heh... funny you should say that, because I fell ill twice in the past two weeks and I am currently at pretty high temperature, but I'm not burning at 40C yet, although I am lightheaded.
Notification:
The next chapter should be released by the end of this week.
Moar. Plz.
8672647
Yes indeed. To both of those.
8672662
What general area do you live? I have been sick off an on with strep the last couple weeks. And about a month prior, I was down with a strain of the flu probablysortakindamaybe........ Basically, we all know how it feels to be sick, and I think we all agree that it sucks.......
Also, that comment about innuendoes a couple chapters back cracked me up!!
'Mportant:
Unfortunately, the next chapter is taking me a while to write. It's not that I don't have it planned out, or am dissatisfactory with the content. It's just that a lot of stuff has come up lately and I think, that the delay between chapters will increase in general. So just here to say: if you are enjoying this story and want more content soon - not possible.
I fell ill almost thrice during the past month. There was work, that I was doing while ill and also some other stuff. So the delay with the chapter is, hopefully, understandable.
...I promise to release it at least this year.
Is this going anywhere? I'm not too sure where this is supposed to be heading, I thought he would be on the run and defending himself from a xenophobic society.
8690832
...Are you saying that I don't know what I'm doing?
8690906
What's the other half?
8690939
No...
I'm just wondering where it's going, it doesn't seem like it has a point when they drabble on and nothing seems to be happening.
8691435
Dude. If your life has constant conflict and Marvel type epicness almost every week, then you gotta share.
Edit: Of course I understand, that serenity gets boring after a while, but... well... it is for you lot to judge everything that will come.
PS: Who told you that the story ain't progressing? Everything matters.
8691455
It honestly doesn't look like it is.
way too, many commas
this is a, recurring problem
though too many commas is a lot better then no commas at all I mean you can't really read a really long sentence like this without at least one comma but really who cares? This is just a fanfic and I shouldn't care enough to point these things out.
I'd point them out more but i dont wanna
just realized that the bit here as the value of a us dollar, if not a bit more
I absolutely refuse to believe that someone changed their base mannerisms and speech patterns so fast
you don't go from referring to the opposite sex as a woman to a mare in a few months unless you're trying, assuming the subject has lived on earth for at least fifteen years with a decent amount of human interaction- two hours in total a day, at least.
That's one heavy meter!
9149730
Very, very heavy. Double the heavy, even.
what kind of jeans do you have