This story while sometimes a little hard to follow is very well written and very exciting im looking forward to more chapters :)

Well, i cant wait for hi to meet Celly.

This is a great story so far, reading about the different abilities of his armor only made me more curious about what else it can do, same with his weapons.

I feel like this is related to bloodborne.

8613916

It’s a little hard to follow with a three character conversation, as you don’t seem to indicate who is speaking. Sometimes I could figure it out based on what’s said, or the attitude, but there’s a few times I had to reread a section.

I see. Thank you, for your contribution.

I’m curious tho, if he based his armor on something, and he got displaced wouldn’t he know what it does? Same goes for the thorn... I know it was mentioned that it was glowing when he hold it, but I could’ve sworn the thorn glows when you slightly pull the trigger (enough to cock the hammer, but not shoot)

To the first: he didn't base it of anything. He made a sort of alphabet of his runes, during the making of his costume, so it would look like they actually do something, however when he got displaced, about 99% of his runes got changed, so you can see how he can't possibly know each of their functions, at least without reading up on them.

To the second: Here. Watch this. Besides I guess I was a bit vague when I said it lights up. I guess I just didn't want to use much of the word cyan, because when I say it lights up - I mean it really lights up. The crystal in the front, in particular.

8614486

I feel like this is related to bloodborne.

I mean... I played Bloodborne, but... There are also such things such as references, but that's not the only reason. Besides: you come up with a second name that fits both Luna and Celestia. Go on. Do it.

8614660
Motherfucker it took me over A FUCKING HOUR of searching, but I found the word Nycthemeron. It is a Greek word that means both day AND night. You my good sir are fucking welcome.

8614660
https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/nychthemeron

8614916

Motherfucker it took me over A FUCKING HOUR of searching, but I found the word Nycthemeron. It is a Greek word that means both day AND night. You my good sir are fucking welcome.

Uhh... Thanks and good job? Just one question: do you really want to read Nycthemeron every time someone introduces Celestia?

I have to thank you for that, I'll definitely be using that term eventually now.

8614980
She's over a thousand years old. For us, A thousand years ago we had real weird ass names so I don't expect the ponies to be different in my opinion. Also if someone what's help pronouncing it they can just search it up or you can put a way to say it somewhere.

8615016

She's over a thousand years old. For us, A thousand years ago we had real weird ass names so I don't expect the ponies to be different in my opinion. Also if someone what's help pronouncing it they can just search it up or you can put a way to say it somewhere.

True. But:

But №1: She is over a thousand years old and that's the thing, she could have changed her name to match the times. A possibility.

But №2: There is a tag on this story, it goes something like this: Alternate Universe. Means that Celestia could have been born yesterday and grew quickly. A possibility.

But №3: Kosm is her name now. I can't change anything, it would be confusing and pointless. The possibility.

If you still see any loopholes, or something you think needs to change, please take this discussion to my mail. I enjoy having these conversations.

Have a good day Potato Monarch.

8615038
...Is Diaries of a Madman any good? I've heard quite a few bad things about it...

8613595
should I be that guy... yes *him* ooooooohhhhhh mmemmmme that felt good. Also, Hi
media1.tenor.com/images/34fdc9d5139c6bb11bea90a3180df0e1/tenor.gif?itemid=8647530

8615040

...Is Diaries of a Madman any good? I've heard quite a few bad things about it...

I've seen very many good things about it. I won't spoil you much, but trust me on this: It is THE best story, I have read so far. And I don't just mean fanfictions.

Give the first twenty-thirty chapters a read. You might or you might not find it to your tastes. But you won't dislike it.

hmmmmm, So they have no idea what Necromancy hun. I think we may be getting closer to the source of there problems. If they have no idea of what Necromancy is and the signs for it could mean that someone could get away with it quite easily. Now I know there's a chance that they may have just not told Sunset about it but I would find that highly unlikely.

She's the main student of Luna and once was Celestia. I can see Celestia not telling her but not Luna. Also, if they knew about it before and if it's affecting the leyline then they should have recognized the effects. So It can be safe to assume that there's necromancy at work in the back round. It could be someone just learning about it or discovering it as a new art; I'm not saying old course shit we call old now was new once and this could be there first, or it's someone from our world using it to fulfill there plans and goals.

8615078

...ok, if you say so.

The timeline is the same...but different. You will have to wait in order to find out: what is going on and what has happened.

Still fun.

I'd appreciate some proper feedback on this chapter. Either mail me, or feel free to write in the comments.

You first need to make mistakes in order to recieve complaints!

8615566

...Speechless. Literally speechless.

However: I never said complaints. Just suggestions, that let me know the possibilities of the telling of this story.

8621173

I will read your story and then post the answer, by editing this comment.

Answer: As I said before: this story will not crossovered with any other. That is something, that no one and no thing can change. Unlessyousomehowstealmyaccount,inwhichcase - yes.

It's not because I hate the one to three chapters crossovers, nor is it because I feel like a crossover ruins a world. It's becomes no longer mine, or yours. It's not ours either, so it's just a mess.

No. I don't want to do a crossover, because I am unable to. I will say this once again: Vadon, was not technically displaced by the Merchant, so no tokens. The best proof is, that he is still himself. His mind was not altered, or torn to pieces. He didn't gain omnipotence and he's not immortal. He's still him, in a world, like no other. And all he has: is him, a set of runic armour, weapons and a book. Oh and also the rest of the world, but you know - minor details.

I will now retire to finish the next chapter.
Good day.

P.S. I might have been overdramatic in some places. Might, have been.

FINALLY!! ANOTHER AUTHOR WHO USES THE ART OF RUNES!!!!!!AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

This is amazing and is he going to turn into a litch in the future

8625405

A lich is a bit overused, don't you think?

8625408
That is true but with most characters that use necromancy it tends to happen with them

8625408
To be fair, Lich is just a catch all term used to denote a spell caster who is dead but still around. A ghost is just as much a lich as a skellington and so on. The power of a lich is a whole different thing.

I think this chapter could have been better. The whole thing about Sunset feels reminded of a mysterious character because of the protagonist came rather sudden. There didn't seem to be any build-up or hints. It threw me for a loop. Second, how simply everyone voted for him to stay, despite them not even interacting in the slightest. At least Sunset was closest when it comes to interaction. Most of the time he was in his basement. He didn't really bond with any of them, really. At least only a few sparce conversations are known, like the one with Aria. It made the scene rather unlikely. If they want him to stay, then some interactions would have needed to take place beforehand. Something to bond over. For example, he could have cooked for them. Maybe he is an incredible cook and shared his love for food. Just as a rather simple example. The only thing currently they can bond over is magic. And maybe music. And they didn't have time to do that, since until now he was studying.

Just as an example again. Heck, Vadon could have bonded with Sonata, by just eating tacos with her. Or having a love for those. It is something I recommend. Try to bring them closer together with some interests here and there.

8652578

Sonata and Aria don't mind Vadon being there for their own personal reasons. Sunset is the only one who doesn't want him to go, at least not before the city borders are open. Her reasoning would a new friend plus new knowledge from said friend. Adagio doesn't really like him, but after the balcony exchange, she at least isn't trying to convince anyone, that he should be gone.

I never said that they were all super close. Sunset is close.

I am so very happy that a displaced fix soesnt immedietly start wth violence
Could still be better though, with less pov switches, more details, etc
But still, good job!

HE WAS DOING A FICKING EMOTE

9150250

EXPLAIN THYSELF!

Standing near the table, dressed in his entire armor, except for the helmet, is a dancing Vadon. He's not moving around the room, it's just his upper half he is dancing with. The helmet is sitting upright on the table, it's front turned away from me. The music, which I finally recognize as electronic, is playing at an incredibly fast pace, which Vadon seems to match perfectly. The singer has a high voice, sounding like it's mixed with lightning, however despite it, I can still recognize the voice is that of a stallion. The lyrics are mostly the same, with the song being about someone losing their mind. My mind finally catches up with the fact, that some of the runes on the chest piece are glowing.

HE'S DOING A FICKING EMOTE

My only real complaint so far.. how the hell doesn't a world based around magic.. not know what 'NECRO'mancy is, even if it wasn't a widely known or even possible to practice form of magic, there would still be some forms of reference aka, horror stories, Thesis's and Theories, or even just common language understanding.. I mean its pretty easy to figure out what Necro means, and clearly they know what a 'mancy' is, I feel like you really shouldn't have made the personal student, someone who was noted as a prodigy by the way, of Luna, the one bloody person who would have the most likeliness of any form of knowledge regarding what's considered the black arts/dark magics, be the one who can't at least piece together what necromancy means just from hearing it, again we're talking about a person who you've set up to highly focus on magical theory in the background and who's teacher is the Night Mistress

Again, that's really my only complaint for the story thus far and it just seems like such an annoying plot hole, I mean even we as a species with no magic to our knowledge, have had a history of folklore and legends built around necromancy so far back as the early middle ages

"Because no one cares about me. And I'd like to keep it that way."

Careful with that edge, bud

-I ate a fish.

"What are you going to have for breakfast?" Adagio asks me as we start walking down the stairs.

"A fish." An awkward silence follows my answer.

I have a feeling this will be a recurring thing in this story.