InfernoRage008
Joined 8th Oct, 2012 ·
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*sigh*
Let's see what will happen then....
8541640
Sorry for the repeats.
8541690
No need to be sorry....
I just hope that this won't become a displaced fic mainly driven by the tokens to have a reason for crossovers with other authors and their fics.... it shouldn't be the damn main point of the fic.
Sure they are nice to have, but there is such a thing as too much you know?
8541718
I understand, and you’re right. Only do crossovers if deemed necessary for a situation, or help expand the story. But not the main focus for the whole thing.
Hmm, this...interests me, I will continue to read then judge later on.
8541729
Exactly.
Too many displaced fics seem to have practically died either because of writers block with a crossover or because one or both authors have difficulty finding a timeslot to write together.
8541885
I agree and also one good righter put his ( what we thick it is ) suicide note as the last chapter
baaa
8542456
grammar took a little vacation there for a few words.....
8542511
I am like cabooce but whith sarges shot gun and griffs lazey ness
8542519
*raises eyebrow*
yeah, no... no you're not....
8541848
HHHHHHIIIIIII GRIZZIE *VERY CREEPY SMILE FORMS*
Spartans never die... They're just missing...
Its spartans never die, they're just missing in action.
Ok time to go back into meh shell
8543400
Fixed.
8542931
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I predict that in the next chapter we will see what happens when you surprise people who are already on edge....
May I ask what the update schedule is? Depending on how long it takes to write each chapter of course.
8548340
Maybe.... *Evil cackle*
8548389
Considering Inferno and I are in different time zones, we usually start writing around 6:00-7:00 my time, and if things go well, we usually get the chapter done in 2 days.
8548390
Let me guess.....
i.imgur.com/bznY6Lc.jpg
8548407
They may be on edge, but they're not gonna be that on edge. More like pointing their weapons but that's it.
8548410
You never know.....
but it will definitely spook the ones surprising the team...
You know..... i still don't understand why Eliteslayer is there. It just feels odd...
I haven't read any fics with him as the MC... this fic and it's previous versions are the only ones i know of that have him as a character.
Feels like he was just shoved in there to explain the Displaced stuff to the trio...
8554552
Sorry if it feels like that.
8555493
I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.
Sudden magic powers for one of the MC's?....
Didn't expect that.....
Sooo..... can they summon spaceships?
8568146
No, they can’t summon spaceships. If they tried that, they might as well end up killing themselves.
8568149
But if they tried to pool their power together and try to summon either a battlebarge or a UNSC frigate.
The frigate i think is smaller, so that would be something they could summon. Summoning the ship though would require considerable power, but maintaining it wouldn't be as taxing.
But even if they can't summon ships "now".... after years of summoning stuff, i'm sure that the cost of summoning would become easier. But in the timescale of the fic, summoning ships will be but a dream. After the events that happen in the fic, some day in the future they might be able to summon frigates by the dozens and Emperor class battleships when they pool their power together.
Hmm... but can they summon titans from WH40K? Maybe a Warhound titan?
8568196
Right now, the only things they can summon are weapons. Doing vehicles will drain them to the point that they would have to rest for a while.
Eliteslayer has had years of practice, so summoning vehicles is a piece of cake for him.
8568322
But ES is limited to vehicles of certain class at the moment. For example, he can't just pull a Scarab out of thin air at this point, if i'm not mistaken.
8568401
Exactly
Okay, there are a lot problems with this, and not just in terms of design(Sorry if that sounds rude.) First, this seems too rushed, not enough detail. I know that they are essentially on a time limit, but I've read plenty of stories with these kinds of situations that still managed to add as much detail as they could.
The grammar isn't terrible. It needs work, yes, but it's mostly minor to everything else.
All in all, I think you two aren't giving this world enough fleshing out. I know of a lot of other stories where it's fast paced almost all the time, but this is just so rushed it seems a bit too bland, only having a few interesting bits between the blandness to keep it just barely afloat.
Work on each scene, give them as much detail as you can without making them a wall of text.
8595271
Yeah, sorry about that.
8568146
Her magic actually comes from her Ivy Valentine half. (She was capable of using both magic and alchemy)
8879070
huh... didn't know that.