8516957 Well, you got your discussion of discrimination in Equestria. I think I didn't do all that good of a job, but I let the readers judge that. I look forward to hearing your thoughts as well.
8531200 Thanks. I still think I might add a comment by Bodo that we all use those each of those six positions on something even if we see ourselves as being one over another. Bodo just happens to be conscious of the fact that he uses all of them and doesn't deny it.
As for it being philosophical, I would hope so. I feel I need to express the profession of my protagonists since they should be using what they are good at to solve their problems as opposed to just using their powers. Thematically speaking, their powers all match their personalities and greatest difficulties. To talk about their powers is to also talk about who they are as individuals. For instance, Bodo is a rebel who wants to believe in something and loves to obsficate, so he has the power to create illusions that hide the truth and create something people can believe in.
If I were to critique that section, I would say that Egalitarianism doesn't really fit in with the rest of the group in that it (at least in the way which I view it) Stops after the point of "The belief that everyone should have equal rights and opportunities" And that the other consequences that arise from this are rooted more in how individuals react than the belief set themselves.
Nice look into discrimination. Though, the thought of what the Mane Six will think when the three's plan finally shows the fruits of its labor is very enticing.
8531373 I think I mention the consequence later when Autumn speaks up and Bodo offers a small criticism, but I could add more to it or rearrange it to fit the parallelism.
The problem I see is, that the "Consequences" don't really fit with the belief structure of egalitarianism. You were spot on with "Colour Blindness" and Blind Auditions, but because for the most part, Egalitarians are individualistic, the part about discrimination being Subjective is kind of flawed. I suppose you could describe it as such in the sense of people feeling discriminated against, but actual discrimination that you would be able to prove as such wouldn't be subjective.
The biggest flaw with egalitarianism is the fact that it can often be quite harsh. It's generally heavily meritocratic so if you fall behind whilst you were given the same rights and opportunities as another, well tough shit, that one falls on your head sonny Jim
8531845 I agree with egalitarianism being meritocratic in nature. I would argue that egalitarians think that the world becomes all hunky dory if you just don't see differences between people and do nothing else. The institutionalists criticize the egalitarians for ignoring the inequalities originating from history and other sources untouched. Egalitarians' harshness comes to the fore when they blame people for not trying hard enough when in reality the playing field was never equal, like you said.
I didn't want to go too deep into egalitarian weaknesses, so I left it at 'ignoring a problem is a good way to never get it fixed'.
“I had been with Smokey Quartz,” she answered while pointing to a dark grey stallion with emerald eyes. The pony gave an aura of intensity that reminded Bodo of Gladius but magnified threefold. “You know, my friend.”
I recognize that steven universe reference.
“Finally, there is the Magistry of Loyalty. It is headed by Silver Slate after Turner Coat had an accident.
8532799 I trust you are enjoying the story. I wanted a breather from all that combat to focus on the more professor side of the characters. Next chapter we take a break from hearing so much about Bodo and can have a rest while things seem to be on easy street. I wonder if my story deserves a dark tag, but I will cross that bridge when it comes.
There will be more of them for sure. I was really worried that people found them boring. I should have probably done more of them earlier on, but I didn't want to do them just for the sake of doing them. That happens more often in my Pony Dialogues story.
I really need to get Thomas to speak up more. He has a very different approach to problems than Bodo does. Luckily, next chapter will reveal Thomas's perspective. We get a mixture of classical, analytical, and cognitive philosophy. When we finish their adventurer guild, we will have a look into pragmatism.
Instead of saying mind control in the description, it would be more specific to say 'geas'. Since that's what this specific kind of mind control seems to be. It also sounds much better, don't you think?
8535460 A little more on the whole "why don't you transform into ponies", there is a place where that would have been the correct thing to do and I merely didn't think about one of the characters noticing that.
To be honest, combat isn't the main drive of this story, and the later chapters focus more on the dialogues as the protagonists use their past professions to affect change. I really wanted to explore the what if's in a fantasy setting like 'what if changeling teleportation works like this (intentionally left vague)' and 'how does that fit with their aims to conquer Equestria.' The ethical question becomes how does one use power and not hurt people with it. If something seems really OP, it was more along the lines I wanted to address a fantasy ethical question about how a particular power could be used and what the practical consequences would be in using it. At the end of the day, I am going to write the story I would want to read.
Thanks for commenting. You should probably have a notepad so you don't forget things you want to say later.
Oh yes, i usually use my computers notepad, but was reading from my kindle so didn't have it with me. (But a physical one for when I read by my kindle is not a bad idea.)
I will get to editing for you soonish.
Yay! After some revisions we can get this fitting the vision of wonder I have for this chapter.
As for the combat thing, it is more that I got better at it as time progressed. The earlier chapters had a more rushed feel to them. I became more comfortable writing more fleshed out scenes as I approached Equestria.
That makes sense, will probably be the same for me as I write more battle scenes. (This next one for me is the first 'real' battle scene I have written besides rps, and that is a whole other ballgame.) I agree though it does feel like you are more comfortable with the story as you get further along.
Would have thought of white as a more positive emotion myself.
Part of the theme is an inversion of classic western color evaluation. First though, consider that black is the changeling color, so they see that as friendship (I.e. "hey, there is my fellow changeling."). We revisit the concept of color valuation from a discrimination point of view in chapter 11.
8544556 I added to about seven relevant groups. I guess I could also add it to Human in Equestria, but I don't really want my feed to be bloated with the hundreds of stories added to that group each day. Anyways, I am glad you are enjoying and have liked this story. I will be posting another chapter today. If you want to see what the other Equus's are like, I wrote a short stories collection called The Grand Illusion and Other Short Stories.
8544675 Yeah, I guess. I just there was a way to turn off notifications for added stories to groups I do enjoy but don't want to know when every story is added. Anyways, I am glad you like the story. Feel free to tell me what you like in the story as I always enjoy feedback.
couple spelling mistakes but nothing that would bring confusion. I really liked the court case but that's just me and my love of bureaucracy. the new changeling was a nice addition but I have yet to read the next chapter so I have no idea if it's a good idea or not. I would love to see more Lo-costs oriented chapter but again that might just be me and my love of business and paperwork
8516957
Well, you got your discussion of discrimination in Equestria. I think I didn't do all that good of a job, but I let the readers judge that. I look forward to hearing your thoughts as well.
8531057
I'd disagree, you did a very good job describing Racism/ Discrimination from a philosophical perspective.
8531200
Thanks. I still think I might add a comment by Bodo that we all use those each of those six positions on something even if we see ourselves as being one over another. Bodo just happens to be conscious of the fact that he uses all of them and doesn't deny it.
As for it being philosophical, I would hope so. I feel I need to express the profession of my protagonists since they should be using what they are good at to solve their problems as opposed to just using their powers. Thematically speaking, their powers all match their personalities and greatest difficulties. To talk about their powers is to also talk about who they are as individuals. For instance, Bodo is a rebel who wants to believe in something and loves to obsficate, so he has the power to create illusions that hide the truth and create something people can believe in.
8531286
If I were to critique that section, I would say that Egalitarianism doesn't really fit in with the rest of the group in that it (at least in the way which I view it) Stops after the point of "The belief that everyone should have equal rights and opportunities" And that the other consequences that arise from this are rooted more in how individuals react than the belief set themselves.
Nice look into discrimination. Though, the thought of what the Mane Six will think when the three's plan finally shows the fruits of its labor is very enticing.
8531373
I think I mention the consequence later when Autumn speaks up and Bodo offers a small criticism, but I could add more to it or rearrange it to fit the parallelism.
8531530
The problem I see is, that the "Consequences" don't really fit with the belief structure of egalitarianism. You were spot on with "Colour Blindness" and Blind Auditions, but because for the most part, Egalitarians are individualistic, the part about discrimination being Subjective is kind of flawed. I suppose you could describe it as such in the sense of people feeling discriminated against, but actual discrimination that you would be able to prove as such wouldn't be subjective.
The biggest flaw with egalitarianism is the fact that it can often be quite harsh. It's generally heavily meritocratic so if you fall behind whilst you were given the same rights and opportunities as another, well tough shit, that one falls on your head sonny Jim
8531845
I agree with egalitarianism being meritocratic in nature. I would argue that egalitarians think that the world becomes all hunky dory if you just don't see differences between people and do nothing else. The institutionalists criticize the egalitarians for ignoring the inequalities originating from history and other sources untouched. Egalitarians' harshness comes to the fore when they blame people for not trying hard enough when in reality the playing field was never equal, like you said.
I didn't want to go too deep into egalitarian weaknesses, so I left it at 'ignoring a problem is a good way to never get it fixed'.
8531870
Fair enough xD
8531427
It will come eventually. Have hope. Still a lot of time before the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration and then two years of conquering after that.
I recognize that steven universe reference.
Right, accident.
8532799
Shhh, don't tell anybody that this story is full of hundreds of references.
8532799
I trust you are enjoying the story. I wanted a breather from all that combat to focus on the more professor side of the characters. Next chapter we take a break from hearing so much about Bodo and can have a rest while things seem to be on easy street. I wonder if my story deserves a dark tag, but I will cross that bridge when it comes.
Please don't stop with the philosophical monologues, as they are the main reason I enjoy this story so much. Just keep doing them. Please.
8533271
Thanks for the feedback.
There will be more of them for sure. I was really worried that people found them boring. I should have probably done more of them earlier on, but I didn't want to do them just for the sake of doing them. That happens more often in my Pony Dialogues story.
I really need to get Thomas to speak up more. He has a very different approach to problems than Bodo does. Luckily, next chapter will reveal Thomas's perspective. We get a mixture of classical, analytical, and cognitive philosophy. When we finish their adventurer guild, we will have a look into pragmatism.
Instead of saying mind control in the description, it would be more specific to say 'geas'. Since that's what this specific kind of mind control seems to be. It also sounds much better, don't you think?
8533651
Well, I would think of geas as being less well-known but that would be closer. I was thinking along the lines of BioShock originally.
8535460
A little more on the whole "why don't you transform into ponies", there is a place where that would have been the correct thing to do and I merely didn't think about one of the characters noticing that.
To be honest, combat isn't the main drive of this story, and the later chapters focus more on the dialogues as the protagonists use their past professions to affect change. I really wanted to explore the what if's in a fantasy setting like 'what if changeling teleportation works like this (intentionally left vague)' and 'how does that fit with their aims to conquer Equestria.' The ethical question becomes how does one use power and not hurt people with it. If something seems really OP, it was more along the lines I wanted to address a fantasy ethical question about how a particular power could be used and what the practical consequences would be in using it. At the end of the day, I am going to write the story I would want to read.
8535078
Oh yes, i usually use my computers notepad, but was reading from my kindle so didn't have it with me. (But a physical one for when I read by my kindle is not a bad idea.)
Yay! After some revisions we can get this fitting the vision of wonder I have for this chapter.
That makes sense, will probably be the same for me as I write more battle scenes. (This next one for me is the first 'real' battle scene I have written besides rps, and that is a whole other ballgame.) I agree though it does feel like you are more comfortable with the story as you get further along.
8539665
Part of the theme is an inversion of classic western color evaluation. First though, consider that black is the changeling color, so they see that as friendship (I.e. "hey, there is my fellow changeling."). We revisit the concept of color valuation from a discrimination point of view in chapter 11.
Why isn't this story more loved?! Do you not add this to groups? No matter! Unofficial sponsorship for you!
8544556
I added to about seven relevant groups. I guess I could also add it to Human in Equestria, but I don't really want my feed to be bloated with the hundreds of stories added to that group each day. Anyways, I am glad you are enjoying and have liked this story. I will be posting another chapter today. If you want to see what the other Equus's are like, I wrote a short stories collection called The Grand Illusion and Other Short Stories.
8544610
Cheat! Add your story and leave the group; problem solved!
8544675
Yeah, I guess. I just there was a way to turn off notifications for added stories to groups I do enjoy but don't want to know when every story is added. Anyways, I am glad you like the story. Feel free to tell me what you like in the story as I always enjoy feedback.
couple spelling mistakes but nothing that would bring confusion. I really liked the court case but that's just me and my love of bureaucracy. the new changeling was a nice addition but I have yet to read the next chapter so I have no idea if it's a good idea or not. I would love to see more Lo-costs oriented chapter but again that might just be me and my love of business and paperwork