Good Stuff

8516825
Thanks for the comment! I just love feedback.

I was worried that this chapter would be all over the place. I had to show progress towards their destination with a matched amount of character development; as a result, the chapter got a lot bigger than my usual spiel.

Looking forward, I just got to hammer out one more chapter before the Halloween special. If all goes as planned, it will come out on the 31st.

“So you are the ponies that help save my fiance,” the Captain stated.

help->helped

“Thanks, we will be off then,” the business dryad said before picking up their bits and amulets. ‘ We won’t need them until after we have the first batch of recruits trained anyways. This is basically free warehousing, lowering are overhead. ’

are overhead->our overhead

"are" is the plural present "to be"
our is possessive.

They agreed and took the next train to Ponyville. They would have taken a flying chariot, but those costed three times the train fair. Penny didn’t even have to buy a ticket, but the changelings, including the unconscious Bodo, needed to pay. The Bitalian said something about being a pony and a knight giving her special privileges. Autumn was pretty sure it was more the former than the latter as she didn’t see any of the other native Equestrians having to pay either. The train was a public utility pay for pony use. Non-equestrians had to pay, but if you were a pony, nopony was going to question it. Equestria was a pony country where citizenship was first and foremost species-based. (This might seem racist, but most countries were like this on Equus.)

You could hold a whole philosophical debate on the difference between racism and specism, and whether or not they were acceptable; and if so, on how they COULD be acceptable.

Autumn ignored the implication that she might be evil. The dryad had realized something and the gears in her head started turning rapidly. ‘I have been treating these ponies like people. I should be thinking them like animals...no lower than that...college students. And what is the one way to get a college students to like you and do whatever you want them to?’

HAH! I like that pecking order: college students, animals, professors.
(ps. "no, lower than that...college students" flows better)

Autumn leaned over Bodo, put her wooden hands on his shoulders, and started to push love energy into him. Like always, she pulled from her plentiful appreciation reserves. It was never comfortable giving someone else love as a changeling. Giving away the appreciation she had earned felt like she had disappointed those ponies.

I really like your take on transferring love energy between changelings.

8516875
Thanks. I don't have a pre-reader right now, so this really helps. I am going to go back to the earlier chapters and fix them up when I get a chance.

8516875

You could hold a whole philosophical debate on the difference between racism and specism, and whether or not they were acceptable; and if so, on how they COULD be acceptable.

True. I didn't want to bury the chapter in that discussion. It is coming, but not now. This chapter already covers a lot. Since that comment about racism/specism came from the Autumn's narrator (third person, but mostly limited to Autumn and to whomever she is talking), it won't be as nuanced as the narration for Bodo, who thinks about these issues on a deeper level than the accountant does. Also, it would have messed with the pacing even more to go off track on that discussion. I would rather have the characters debate it out as they would all have different stances on it than have the narrator do it for them.

As for what constitutes racism and what constitutes specism, that is rather difficult to do in this setting. On Earth, we have an arguably clearer difference. However, the differences between sapient beings on Equus is far more pronounced and multi-leveled. For instance, the three pony tribes could be described as different breeds of the same species, so does discrimination between the different tribes constitute tribalism, breedism, or both? Should we consider the difference between zebras and ponies a difference of race since they are both equines or of species because they are technically different species? Regardless of what is decided at the end, they mostly represent what the culture in question thinks as important differences.

I would be happy to discuss this with you if you want in the comments though.

8516875

HAH! I like that pecking order: college students, animals, professors. 

I was thinking of Team Four Star's Mr. Popo skit with the pecking order when I wrote that.

8516924

True. I didn't want to bury the chapter in that discussion. It is coming, but not now

Looking forward to that discussion. I imagine it would be essentially closed once windigoes get brought up ("Do you want windigoes freezing everything? Too much racism/specism is how you get windigoes freezing everything! Keep a lid on that stuff"), but I imagine the gist of the pro-specism outlook would be...

"For humans, race has no or next to no correlation with ability. Thus, for humans, racism is an irrational attitude that cannot be supported with evidence. However, for ponies, race has a very strong correlation with ability; racism is thus not necessarily irrational. "

8516957
Windigo angle is important, which is part of the reason why Equestria is hyper-protectionist in its economic and immigration policies. The original windigo problem was primarily economic in that each party had something the other needed and needed to work together. Outsiders do it on a more fundamental level as Equestria maintains its perfect employment through cutie marks.

However, there is also the procreation and herd mentality angle as well. In order to keep a wide gene pool, there must be sufficient number of similar species in the same community. This is soften by the ability to create hybrid species. The problem with that is some of them end up like mules, which can't reproduce. The herd mentality is mostly finding comfort in those who look like yourself.

There is obviously more to it, but you will have to wait to see how each of the characters see it.

nice, a little fast-paced but nice. try to add the scenes where they are coming up with the ideas, like how they would get together and discuss how they are going to propose the idea to rich. and don't just make it a short thing where they already know what they're going to do, make it realistic, like they are brainstorming, they simply don't know how to go about it and so they suggest ideas until I pick one they like, stuff like that can really change a story

8523565
I can do that. I don't really want to go into too much detail saying what will, but I can handle a kind of team huddle and some scenarios practice.

By the way, have you told Twilight Sparkle that you are engaged to her former foalsitter? ...

Ahha way to use your future knowledge there Autumn! Hopefully it helps things be better when the invansion happens.

(This might seem racist, but most countries were like this on Equus.)

Sad but something I can see being true. Though they try to have peaceful times with other creatures, they do need to keep things going somehow.

All the ponies had already taken covered despite her only being out and about for a few short moments. Usually it took ten minutes for the ‘Monster attack!’ drill to fully take place and everypony to find a hiding place.

Silly ponies, the monsters always coming out of the Everfree have driven thee mad! Now ye cannot trust any nonpony.

“The evil body snatchers have teamed up with the evil enchantress,” a high-pitch voice yelled from the local bakery. “They plan to conquer equestria with their magic and replace us.”

*cackles* Oh Pinkie. You are so silly. Very accurate Pinkie I would say.

I should be thinking them like animals...no, lower than that...college students. And what is the one way to get a college students to like you and do whatever you want them to?’

*cackles* *cackles some more* Oh yes, the diet of a poor college student, surviving mostly on top ramen and the generosity of free food at events they flock to. Been there, done that!

It was never comfortable giving someone else love as a changeling.

Just feel lucky it doesn't change you into some flouresantly bright buggy instead of the pretty black and blue.

Penny did that and saw Bodo’s destroyed the leg had regained two centimeters of its length back and no longer needed to be wrapped to prevent love energy spewing out. It was progress!

Yay our dear Bodo starts to heal! :pinkiegrin:

or at least tried to, for her hair was made of the same leaves that she had just seen fall to the ground.

“I am frickin’ bald!”

*cackles* hehehe saw that coming, but hilarious none the less.

Apparently, the foal had run home from school in tears after another filly had bullied her for her lack of living parents.

Aww you making me tear up here man! *sniffs* (Right after such a sad one of me own chapters)

The hug ended. They didn’t stare off into other corners of the room. They stared at each other. They didn’t feel any awkwardness. They only felt camaraderie. For the first time since they arrived in this world, they felt like a real team of friends.

Yay he's back! *wipes away tears* Such a touching end to the chapter, well done!

Also, I do like your version of changelings sharing love. Haven't gotten into that really on my own story, but either way I just love seeing the different ways others go around doing that. ^.^

I can't believe I'm agreeing with Spoiled Rich, but why are they living in the library? I know this takes place some time pre-Twilight (at least a year since the RotL also happens soon after she arrives), but they just came into town and settled in and nobody questioned it? I mean, sure they could be paying rent to the mayors office (since it is a public building), but the story doesn't say. We just immediately timeskip from the border customs office to a week later when they're all settled in Ponyville.

8764313
Yeah, when I get a chance to fix up the earlier chapters, I will touch up on some of those issues. I do make fun of these kind of things either on the basis that it happened in the show or because it is something I think is funny and works in universe. At the end of the day, this is just a hobby project for me as I try to improve my writing.