8610190 Celly and Lulu will be making an appearance,I don't think they'll join but I could change my mind. And sorry but I don't think chrisalis will be making an appearance this time
it was just a little scared for fun,” He defended. Scare. and went over the he thing already. I’m gonna lose to witch with a bestiality, Somethings missing here cause as it this is nonsensical. Maybe "a witch with a bestiality fetish." Or you could change with a to into. I meant there's a few choices. cave in and isolated part of the woods. cave in an isolated... not like Twilights but still much gentler looking. Think you meant not unlike. “No!..no its okay I’m just a little nervous.” The second no should be capped with a comma after it. “Well Sorry of I startled you, Sorry shouldn't be capped.
Also, your Pinkie is so spot on with the hilarity. Death by snu-snu! And yay, Fluttershy! Shame I've hit the end of whats here, I'll have to wait for more. Waiting is hard >_>
8618314 Well with any luck you'll actually follow the grammatical advice and listen to the suggestive. It would put you above quite a few others who were less open to help. Truth be told, this few mistakes in so much is quite impressive; you and your editor did pretty well I'd say.
I'll be honest, this story is top-notch quality. Very good characterization and dialogue, aside from a couple of misspelled words, it's still good. Has a very good pacing and doesn't feel rushed and it looks like you put a lot of effort into writing each situation, which is good, mind you. I have no problems with how you portray the characters since it's your story and I kind of enjoy something new like this. Keep up the good work m8.
If you hunt or trap with the proper documentation, gear, on legal hunting grounds, and during the right season, you are a hunter. If you hunt or trap without all of those things, you are a poacher.
Damn!!!!!
Great way to introduce Fluttershy!!
Also, will clop ever happen in the story, or are you just gonna tease us?
Another fun one, noticed some minor errors
8610173
There will be clop, but I'd rather the whole harem be introduced before it starts.
8610188
Permission to ask if Chrysalis, or Celly or Luna are in the harem?
Hey Hey Hey! Take your time man this isn't no race.
its everyday bro with that pony harem flow got 5k in 5 months probably done before :?
8610190
Celly and Lulu will be making an appearance,I don't think they'll join but I could change my mind. And sorry but I don't think chrisalis will be making an appearance this time
8610232
Dammit!!!!
Well, cant wait for more to happen soon
And here we have the next of the girls. I can't wait to see how you introduce Rainbow Dash and Rarity. And happy holidays to you too
Adorable, as usual.:D
Yay! Fluttershy! The Sweetheart who melts everyone's heart!
That was a awesome and sweet read .It way funny and cute to can't wait to read part 2.
8610355
Not the Hearts of those Hunters
The Shy and the Guy.
Insaniac.
Was that just supposed to be a Pinkie word, or did you actually make a reference to Small Soldiers?
8610521
It's ShyGuy!
.......oh screw you guys thats funny!
Fluttershy is a far more welcoming version of Kii. To be honest, I should have seen that coming.
Another lovely chapter. Take your time buddy, I'm just glad you're still updating this fic.
A happy holidays to you and yours as well :D
8611988
My editor is on it don't worry, and thanks
they eat meat ?
In which way is Pinkie the smallest ?
it was just a little scared for fun,” He defended. Scare. and went over the he thing already.
I’m gonna lose to witch with a bestiality, Somethings missing here cause as it this is nonsensical. Maybe "a witch with a bestiality fetish." Or you could change with a to into. I meant there's a few choices.
cave in and isolated part of the woods. cave in an isolated...
not like Twilights but still much gentler looking. Think you meant not unlike.
“No!..no its okay I’m just a little nervous.” The second no should be capped with a comma after it.
“Well Sorry of I startled you, Sorry shouldn't be capped.
Also, your Pinkie is so spot on with the hilarity. Death by snu-snu! And yay, Fluttershy! Shame I've hit the end of whats here, I'll have to wait for more. Waiting is hard >_>
8618173
Thanks for the tips, and glad your enjoying the story
8618314
Well with any luck you'll actually follow the grammatical advice and listen to the suggestive. It would put you above quite a few others who were less open to help. Truth be told, this few mistakes in so much is quite impressive; you and your editor did pretty well I'd say.
Slash17 question for you but are you going to add Ember to his harem? Yes or Yes
8623890
But of course
I'll be honest, this story is top-notch quality. Very good characterization and dialogue, aside from a couple of misspelled words, it's still good. Has a very good pacing and doesn't feel rushed and it looks like you put a lot of effort into writing each situation, which is good, mind you. I have no problems with how you portray the characters since it's your story and I kind of enjoy something new like this. Keep up the good work m8.
8715888
"Damn"
First thing that came to mind:
I guess a part of this story was inspired by 'Scare Master'.
The mind is willing but the body is spongy and weak.
I really can picture Pinky yelling this.
If you hunt or trap with the proper documentation, gear, on legal hunting grounds, and during the right season, you are a hunter. If you hunt or trap without all of those things, you are a poacher.
9213929
Really? Wow, I never knew that, thanks for the heads up, wish I'd known that before I wrote the chp