• Member Since 15th May, 2016
  • offline last seen May 31st

Slash17


wasn't always a fan of mlp, until I got to know a certain purple dragon named Spike, now I like reading stories where he gets some appreciation

Comments ( 372 )

Just close enough to match the first chapter.:twilightsmile:

Not a bad opening. I can't wait to see the more girls Spike has to provide for.

Hm... Continue. Let's see how different this can be.

a lovely beginning keep it coming and it might become as popular as the manga itself.

Spikes tries to live a normal life while more and more inter-dimensional pony like girls move into his house. Inspired by Monster Mesume

derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/10/26/1281828__safe_artist-colon-vesdew_edit_editor-colon-hguheyaughtnger_sunset+shimmer_animated_cute_meme_pony_scrunchy+face_seizure+warning_shimmerbetes_s.gif
Musume

Nothing personal, it's just that the first thing people read is the description :applejackunsure:

8284772
Woops, thanks for pointing that out, these anime names kinda trouble me sometimes.

8284786 No problem :raritywink:

Sunset Shimmer as Agent Smith? Oh, yeah!

The story starts in a similar way to the manga/anime, although with obvious differences. I'm curious to see how it will divert from the original.

Okay before compliments happen this needs to be pointed out. Mourning, to grieve. Morning, the start of the day.
A mourning with an alicorn girl.
Chapter title needs work.

Story is still just as fun as the original works.

8284963
Oh boy sorry, thanks for pointing that out.

Curious so far, but. . . Bae? Is that meant to be a play on how the lamia calls the main protagonist 'darling'?

8285128
Yeah, and I would've thought of something more original but I just can't see twilight calling who ever her boyfriend is a name, I mean can you imagine an egghead like twilight saying babe? Or Darling?

I think there's too much in the description.

You had my interest but now you have my undivided attention.....go on....

A question.
In a future chapter Spike will acquire dragon traits?

8285152
I thought so too at first but then I realized that I've seen worse so I just left it the way it was.

8285020
I love the manga of monster Musume I just wish the show would come out in dub

8285198
Oh its a a possability, you know what else is a possibility... Spike crossing over to equestria as s foreigner, how does that sound?

8285207
Yeah, you would think it would have one by now, you think they will make a second season?

8285220
Very good idea.
But it would also be fun that Twilight created a potion that supposedly would return Spike's hair to its original color but by mistake the potion makes it a kind of hybrid between human and dragon

“I hope so, I ask because I know you’re not very well versed in the new pact that’s been formed, so I came to remind you that the golden rule is not to bring any harm to her,” She reminded him.

“Yeah well don’t worry, I haven’t hurt her in any way,” Spike said turning his back to her to finish making Twilights breakfast, but suddenly froze when he felt a hostile presence behind him.

“Hurting her can mean plucking her lavender flower as well,” She said in a hostile tone into his ear.

I'm out.:pinkiecrazy: I'm kinda tired of stories with Spike that have sexy situations but no to little sex.:twilightangry2:

8285200 Yeah, and those are the stories that get easily downvoted without being read. If the author can't take the time to make sure there are no errors in the description, imagine the rest of the story.

8285355
You think I don't plan on working around that?

8285357

8285411

8285207
And there's this great English cover of the OP

Am I the only one who thinks Suu sounds like Fluttershy?

8285411Most author's I have read couldn't. They either have all the sex happen 'off-camera' or have no sex during the stories, giving poor Spike a case of blue balls.

8285473
Wouldn't it be purple or green balls thou XD

To quote Connie from Attack on Titan: TeamFourStar Abridged
"I have the most awkward boner!"

Comment posted by nightwolf65 deleted Jul 9th, 2017

Noticed a few writing errors, mostly misspelled words. It might be a good idea to wait on posting chapters right away and wait a few hours to read over what you have for editing purposes before correcting some of the mistakes you see then posting. It would also be a good idea to go over what you do have up so far and fix the errors you can spot, you might also want to look into getting an editor or/and proofreader for good measure. That all said, this is a pretty decent start to a story.

“Uh no not at all,” Spike lied. “Other than walking around in nothing but her skivvies, or that time she “accidently” blasted off both our cloths

a quick little reminder, when quoting within quotation marks you use the apostrophe (’) as a substitute. Also, there are a few more misspelled words than I originally surmised, you really need to sit back and leave the unfinished work alone for few minutes, it’s a good self-editing technique that can help you to identify errors better.

I don't know if I have to envy or pity Spike there...

Monster Musume? Sold. That show's comedy gold 80% of the time.

Honestly I'm already loving this fix hope to see more and good luck

Wow. Never expected a monster musume like story. Yet personally it would have better if it was someone other that spike(the fandom kinda ruined him for me)

Huh. A Monster Mutsume story, but without any actual monsters... I can dig it.

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