Visitors of the Pony Kind
Chapter Three
Visitors of the Pony Kind
As I feared, the other books on the bookshelves were just as disorganized as the first. Twilight was not happy with this, but there was very little that could be done. The both of us realized that getting upset about this little thing was pretty pointless and nothing but a time waster.
She was able to correct all the books within a few hours, but the paper mess downstairs took me another full week to clean up. It’s discouraging to think that I still have a mess upstairs to work on. Though, I am glad that it is only in the bedroom area and not in any other room. I would hate to think about what it would look like if the bathroom was in the state that I left everything else in.
I look at the folders that now contain my drawings, sketches and writings. There’s about ten of them and, while they aren’t overstuffed, they don’t look like they are going to all fit in my saddle bags. I kind of wish that I had a file cabinet, or maybe a place of my own. I sigh. "Like Twilight would go along with that idea. It’s bad enough that I have been kept on a short leash for the past, what? Four weeks? Asking her about a place of my own right now would be a, ‘fffe-et no, H.B.!’"
I shake my head. If I continue that train of thought, I’ll start thinking negative things about Twilight. I don’t want to do that after all the nice things she has done for me. The basic supplies for bathing, sleeping and the food stuff? She didn’t have to do that. But she did anyway. And dinner last week was nice. We’ve had a bunch of other things during the following week, but I get the ebbing feeling that I can’t do this forever. I’ve done the ‘living off someone else’ bit before, and it annoyed me to no end.
Living in America during a time when jobs are kind of scarce is depressing enough. Living in a household where you feel like you aren’t contributing anything to the household? That’s just another layer of depressing.
Twilight has corrected all the books. Meaning that they aren’t inside out or upside down anymore. But I am to organize them. Sighing, I start to go to work on that.
Don’t get me wrong. I love libraries, bookstores, and books in general. Growing up, the library was a place I could go to get away from home. I eventually realized that if I did my chores fast enough, I could get to the library faster. From there I could just lose myself in the books.
If I was feeling really adventurous, I would walk to the local Barnes and Noble or Hastings. I could literally blow an entire afternoon just reading books and magazines. And Barnes and Noble had a comic book section!
I pick up a book in my mouth. Books are fun to read, not to taste. The way that Twilight has the whole of the library set up just doesn’t make any sense. This book is about ‘applied subliminal philanthropy,’ whatever the hell that is, but it is going into a section that has nothing to do with it! What’s more, it’s clear across the other side of the room. I just roll my eyes. Another day of bucking library duty. I never thought I would get sick of books, but Twilight is getting me really close.
Something out of the corner of my eye twinkles at me, and I turn my head to see what it is. I feel the book drop from my mouth. “What’s...that?”
It appears to be an out of place open door. I look around, and then walk through it.
==============================================================
I shake my head and look at the ground. I blink hard and then notice the book on the ground. “Darn it. How’d you get on the floor?” I look at the cover of the book. There is a bit of dampness on it. How other ponies keep things that they hold in their mouths dry is beyond me. Maybe I should ask Twilight about it.
About fifteen minutes later and I’m making a good deal of progress. I smile a bit. “I don’t organize things often,” I say, crossing my arms. “But when I do, it’s books!” I almost chuckle. A faint memory of the small library in Otis Orchards flutters through my head. There was a time I could have actually been a librarian there. Well, there was a chance I could have been. But I decided ‘nah, I want to move cross country for a girl I met on the internet!’ I sigh and roll my eyes at old poor life choices. Then I catch a whiff of myself.
“Ugh!” My own personal smell was something I couldn’t stand when I was human. That sour, salty musky smell. The smell that comes from working all night in a factory for twelve hours straight and then coming home to sit at the computer for another two hours. Horrible smell. And now add to that the smell of horse?
“Oh, Geeze. Bleh! When was the last time you took a shower, H.B.?” I look up the stairs. The prospect of coming back down the stairs is frightening, but not frightening enough to stop me from taking a shower. At least Twilight was kind enough to put any new bathroom items she thought I could use up there.
“Right. time to shower. Doesn’t matter that Twilight isn’t here. You have to start doing things for your own, H.B. And you shouldn’t have too much trouble figuring it out, right?” I look up worriedly at the bathroom. Holding things with my hooves is still near impossible and adding water to the mix isn’t making the equation any better. I roll my eyes and start to walk up the stairs. That’s when I hear a knocking at the library front door.
I sigh and turn around. Getting to the library door, I realize I still don’t know how to open the door handle with my hooves. You’d think after nearly over four weeks I would have figured this out. I stand up on my back hooves and look out the door’s little window.
That’s when a smiling aquamarine unicorn face bounces up to greet mine. Her bright yellow-orangish eyes and super smile identify her in my brain almost automatically. I jump back and bowl over in surprise.
“GAH!” I scream out.
“See?” comes a muffled voice from the other side of the door. “I knew that there was somepony in the library!”
"Shit! It’s Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. Shit, shit, shit, shit!” I take a deep breath. “What are you panicking over H.B.? You have no reason to think that she is anything like the fanon would have you believe! There isn’t any reason to think that ponies even know about humans! Well, nopony but Celestia.”
“Hey! Is the library open yet?” comes another voice. That must be Bon-Bon. “We heard from Twilight that the library would be reopening today!”
“It better be,” Lyra says, through the door. “It’s been three weeks and I haven’t been able to pick up my books. What could be taking so long?”
I gingerly pick myself up and peer through the window again. “I don’t know. Twilight hasn’t told me anything. The library is cleaned up, but I haven’t finished reorganizing the books.”
“Hey!” Lyra jumps up against the door and looks at me. “You’re that one pony who needed to see the dentist! Heartbreak!” I drop down from the door.
“Yes, th-that would be me.” Alright H.B. just keep calm. “Really, I don’t know if the library is open or not.” I am not sure if I am ready to interact with other ponies, particularly a pony like Lyra.
“Well, Twilight said it was open, mind if we come in? We’ve been waiting on our books for a few weeks.” Bon-Bon says.
I whimper. “You can come in if you know what your books are, how to check them out, and don’t need to stay for too long.” Jeeze! You must sound like a total shut-in H.B.! Think of something to say! “Because I didn’t hear Twilight say anything about it, and I don’t want to upset her!” I shout out.
There is a pause, a little quiet murmur and then Lyra speaks. “Alright, it shouldn’t take too long to get the books we ordered.” Her voice is marred with a bit of annoyance. Great, I’m making a really good impression here for sure...there is another long pause. “Are you going to open the door anytime soon?” she asks me.
“Oh! Yes! Open the door!” I shout out. I look at the door knob. One of my many foes. I reach my hoof out and push it against the round surface. Closing my eyes, I hope for the sweet clicking sound. All I am met with is the sound of metal rattling. I roll my eyes and attempt to wrap my wrist around it. This too is met with some serious grief. Finally, I wrap both wrists around the door and make a persistent effort in opening this fucking door handle. It slowly turns bit by bit until I am met with the wonderful chiming click of the door opening. Then I am met with the sudden and swift realization of the door opening way too fast. “Gah!” Seems everyday; I’m tumbling.
“About time!” Lyra says, looking at me.
“Lyra..” Bon-Bon says, rolling her eyes.
“What?” she looks over at me, and makes a face. I might be some sort of sight, due to her reaction. “What I mean is that it took a long time, Bon-Bon.” she offers me a hoof up. I put my hoof out to take hers, only to find it slip out of her ‘grasp’. She looks at me strangely, and I grimace. “Did you need any help opening the door?” I push myself up. The question reminds me of the obvious. Hooves aren’t hands and hands aren’t hooves. I feel rather unpleasant emotions trying to bubble up. Lyra backs away from me. “Whoa! Are you ok?”
I stamp my left hoof down and rub my face with my right. I push whatever uncomfortable feeling I am getting from that question about the door aside. “I’m fine,” I reply. “How about we get to finding your books?”
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Bon-Bon asks me.
“I said I was fine, and I meant I was fine,” I reply, getting up. “Now, how about those books? ‘Cause I really have a few other things I need to do.”
“Such as?” Lyra asks me.
“Showering. I smell horrible,” I reply.
Lyra, as if almost on cue, sniffs the air and then covers her nose. “Gah! Yeah. A shower might be in order..”
“Lyra!” Bon-Bon says looking at her friend.
“It’s alright, Bon-Bon,” I interject looking at the shelves of books around me. “I stink. I know it. Hence, I want to get you two your books as quickly as possible.”
“Right,” Lyra says. “I ordered ‘Obscure Equestrian Mythological Creatures,’ ‘The Advanced Lyres Guide,’ and ‘Equestrian Sea Life.’”
“I ordered ‘Filly Fudge; a Beginners Guide to Fudge Making” and ‘Diamond Colts: Book Two.” Bon-Bon tells me. “You remember our names?”
I think about those titles. “I think I saw ‘The Advanced Lyres Guide,’ and I am sure I saw ‘Filly Fudge’ around here somewhere.” I raise my right hoof and wave it over the rows of books. “Ah, here’s ‘Filly Fudge.’” Ugh, that name just sounds horrible. Like Horse Fudge or Pony Fudge is any better. “Yes, why wouldn’t I-” That’s when I feel a brush of air wisp beside me and Lyra’s face is staring at my hoof. Fuck.
“Whoa! Is that,” she pauses and looks at me with a concerned expression. “Is that a hole in your hoof?”
I quickly pull my hoof back and cradle it to me. “Yes. Yes it is.” Play it cool. Don’t make a big fuss about it. Seriously.
Bon-Bon walks over to investigate. “You had a hole drilled into your hoof?” her face scrunches up in a pained expression. “Why would you do that?!” she exclaims.
“I-I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” I reply. Right get them their books, get them their books now. I turn to see if I can find any more of the books requested, only to find myself face to face with Lyra again. She grabs my hoof and inspects it with an unnerving curiosity.
“That’s a really weird angle to have it drilled at, I mean I have seen other ponies think about trying this. But never going through with it because they never could figure out the proper angle to have it drilled at.” she says, looking over my hoof in detail.
I pull it away sharply. “I did this while I was loopy on magic tea. I don’t know why I did it or what I was thinking. Overall, it was a bad idea and I am lucky that Dr. Bright-White didn’t hit anything vital. Now-” I pause. “Wait, why would other ponies even consider having their hooves drilled?!” I know why I did it. But why normal ponies would even consider doing such a thing?
“Well, most ponies wouldn’t dare dream of altering their hooves. Any damage to a hoof would normally mean a trip to the hospital and some serious magical assistance in mending it. However, I hang with a,” Lyra pauses and rolls her hoof, “Different crowd of ponies.” Bon-Bon sighs and applies her hoof to her face.
“Oh, Huh. So that’s how you do it.” I ponder. You just cover your muzzle as a means of ‘face-hoofing’.
“Oh boy, here we go.” Bon-Bon grumps.
“What?” Lyra asks. Bon-Bon only rolls her eyes and sighs. Lyra then turns her attention back to me. “Don’t mind her. She just doesn’t get my hobbies.”
“You mean obsessions,” Bon-Bon corrects.
“It’s a hobby!” Lyra exclaims. “You see, I happen to head the local chapter of the H.L.C. There have been members that have speculated about altering their hooves in one way or another. Mostly with special shoes or gloves. One or two have talked about drilling, but I’ve never see a pony actually go through with it!”
I stare blankly at her. Suddenly I have this terrible feeling that this whole conversation is going to go somewhere very unpleasant. “H.L.C?” I finally ask.
Lyra looks all proud and smiles brightly. “Yeah! The Human Lovers Club!”
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Whatever you do, H.B., do not let her know that you used to be a human. She'll go nuts about it.
Oh dear Celestia, no...
This
This won't end well for H.B.
emotibot.net/pix/104.jpg
For all those who want to know what lies through that door way... First mention of the Tumbler Room
http://jetblack1980.tumblr.com/
WOOT!!! LYRA IS BEST PONY!!!
This is going to be fun!canterlot.net/images/smilies/ponies/mlp-lyra-clap.png
928699 IF she finds out. Which is doubtful. And Oberon is on earth in Seattle. Now, you might not get why, but later it is sure to be explained. ^.^
dl.dropbox.com/u/23674870/pics/133270281315.jpg
oh look humans exist in the equestria... ahaha and heartbreak still can not say it!
934320 -Did- exist, then again, they're mythological. Now they only exists as concepts.
heh I bet it's gonna be obvious what she is trying to say now that there is context to put it in.
:heartbreak:- Lyra is member of the 'p-pony lovers club' and I am a p-pony!
- Hear that she wants to be a pony! *powers up lobotomizer magic*
- That's not what she is telling us at all... I think.
- I find it strange she never wore a dress, and feel like she is hiding things from us!
- Ah'm just glad she is gonna end up at mah farm soon to do ouh work... er ah mean learn about honesty! ...and do ouh work
- eeeyup... *breaks out the fold out chairs*
935643 I love this.
935658
thankies
938151 Here. Have this Lyra Shark.
940879
*Hugs*
954302 You aren't going to stop reading cause of Crazy Lyra are you?
954326
Nah, I'll just read even harder
HO GOD NO
biglolz.com/images/1334766149-83810.jpg
Awkwardness +20
2339263 Super. Now I have Mad Laughs Syndrome. Thank you very Much!
1139108 I'm just going to assume that there was something lewd there, because the link to that picture you posted is broken as a doornail.
and like that he is proven wrong
I'm very interested to see how HB is gonna dance around Lyra.
Here's to hoping for shenanigans .
935643
I never get tired of this comment, even years later.
The word philanthropy contains the word "anthropos", which means human
Philanthropist means "lover of humans"
You might wanna use "philequiny" instead?
11853566
Ehehehehehe... Maybe it's forshadowing...
11853566
Also, did you see the Door?