Con Burn
Chapter 37
Con Burn.
“FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!” Apparently the word of the day in my mind is, ‘fuck.’ There are no other rational thoughts going through my head as the blue face jutting out of a quazi-human mouth rends through the good, ‘argument mode,’ I had going here. Nothing like a horribly dressed non-sequitur to gunk up what could be a perfectly good and reasonable argument. An argument that was helping to distract me from the butt loads of weird ponies with a naked monkey fetish. However, all of that is irrelevant to the fact that my heart is pounding in my chest and that I am experiencing a good deal of an old friend known as, ‘fear.’
“Oh geez! I didn’t mean to startle you!” He exclaims, looking at me. “Are you alright?”
“Yes! Fine! Great!” I involuntarily shout. Fuck! Calm down! Calm down! You’re going to have a heart attack if you keep this up! I glare at that tiny voice in the back of my mind as it says this. Seriously? Stop trolling me brain.
The pony’s weird appendage that is meant to pass as a hand reaches out in a way that I am sure is meant to comfort me, but instead has me cringing and doing a freeze frame.
Lyra jumps to the rescue. “Whoa! Tight Stitch! Back away! Con rules.” She calmly puts a hoof on the arm of the costume and looks at Tight Stitch in a stern but sympathetic manner. “If you are making someone else uncomfortable, then back away. Besides,” she looks at me strangely. “She’s, ‘fingerless.’”
Almost instantly Tight Stitch draws back. “Oh! Oh! I am terribly, terribly sorry miss-”
I draw upon enough willpower to speak. “Please, don’t call me, ‘miss.’ J-j-j-just call me, ‘H.B.’” I interrupt, silently counting to ten as I speak.
He awkwardly smiles and then backs away. “H.B., I’ll remember that.”
Dib and Lyra look at me. “Are you alright, H.B.?” Dib asks me.
“I-I-I’m fine... this is just a bit much for me,” Damn it. I need to get out of here. I might not be able to blow any sort of cover, but I am sure as hell not making myself look like a sound or stable pony. And among all these social outcasts? That’s saying something.
Lyra looks at me sympathetically. “Look, I’m sorry for getting a bit-” She pauses.
“Zealous?” I interject.
“Well, I was going to say, ‘passionate,’ but I guess that works too,” She rolls her eyes. “I guess the story does have a few holes in it and there are a lot of questions that are raised. I guess that is what makes it exciting for a mare like me. That it could be true! I mean the very idea that humans walk among us-”
“Walked,” I interrupt.
“Huh?” She gives me a blank look.
“Not to be nitpicky about grammar, but you mean, ‘walked.’ As in they don’t walk among us anymore.” I reply.
“Geez, you and Bon-Bon both!” She sighs. “But yes. The idea or notion that they did excites me.” She looks up at the ceiling in a blissed out state. “I would give anything to know, ya know?”
I would respond, but I feel shaken up after that incident with, ‘Tight Stitch.’ “Uhm, yeah, sure. Look, I’m feeling really on edge now and need some fresh air. I’m terrible with crowds and-” I look questioningly at the human hats. “I just need some fresh air.” I repeat looking at Dib. “So...come on.”
Dib looks at me with big eyes and disappointment. “But we barely just got here!”
Damn it. “We’re not going to leave-leave, we’ll be right back.” I answer trying to avoid him freaking out. “I just need some fresh air is all.”
“But I was hoping to talk to Lyra some more!” He says. His voice has a, ‘not quite whining’ quality that makes me just want to leave him here. But Applejack told me not to abandon him. I momentarily question whether or not going outside and leaving him with strange ponies would constitute as abandoning him.
“Look, Dib, it’s just that I’m s’posta be watching you and while I am sure there are safeties in place, I am a bit leery about just leaving you here alone.” I explain. Fuck, I sound like one of those over worried mothers. Or Twilight explaining to Spike why he can’t have more ice cream.
“I’ll watch him while you step out, H.B.” Lyra interjects.
A big red light in my head just lit up. It’s saying that we should take caution in this suggestion. “I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea...” I reply.
“Look, I know our little argument was teetering on the verge of an outright flame war-” She starts out.
“Flame war?” I ask. Seriously, how would a unicorn know that internet term?
“You’ve never seen two unicorns get really mad at the other have you?” Lyra asks.
“Oh! Right, uhm, I didn’t think that that could include non-unicorns!” I say, trying to act as casual about it as possible. “Silly me.” I try to muster a casual laugh. It comes out sounding like an overdone giggle. I still hate that.
“Right, like I was saying, it almost got there, but I’m the leader of this con. And the ponies here will do as I say. I swear they won’t lay a finger on his head and that he will be perfectly safe.” She says reassuringly.
I mull over the situation in my head. And then look at Dib. He’s looking at me with desperation in his eyes. This is his dream. It’s a small silly dream compared to my dreams. My dreams of going home, of being myself again, of seeing her and holding her in my arms. I bite my lip before I can get all teary over this again. I can’t make those dreams come true right now. Gawds this sounds so fucking sappy, but I could let him have his dream. And it wouldn’t hurt me to try and trust another pony.
“Alright,” I push myself up and off the couch. “I’ll only be gone for five or ten minutes.”
“You can trust me to make sure that he stays safe there, H.B.!” Lyra says, as I walk out of the room and towards the door.
I roll my eyes. Just knowing that I’ll be outside soon enough is starting to calm me the fuck down.
==============================================================
Lyra watched as her target walked out of the room. There were a whole set of new factors to consider in this situation. “Why would she go about putting down humans like that?! Is it a tactic? Is it a defense!? There are so many signs that are lining up here from Tale Spinners research!” She bit her lower lip and it struck her. “Yes, it’s a tactic. Just like in that, ‘Batmane,’ movie. When Bruce was asked about Batmane, he told them that a stallion who goes around dressed like a bat clearly has problems! Yes!” She rubbed her hooves. “I’m on to you there, little-miss-”
“Uhm, Lyra are you alright?” Crab Apple asked.
“Oh! Yes! Couldn’t have been better!” She yelped, taking out the envelope. She skimmed through the contents and looked for any signs that she missed. Oddly enough, there were a few. “Ticks, unable to use her hooves properly, comes from an obscure colony that nopony-” Lyra rolled her eyes. “Nobody has heard of, and is highly argumentative. Even if she isn’t what I think she is, she is hiding something..” Lyra thought to herself. She looked over at Crab Apple. “So, how’d you two meet?”
“Well, she’s apparently been working on Applejack’s farm for a few days.” He explained. “I haven’t a clue why,” he leaned over and put a hoof up to his face, “Don’t tell her this, but she’s not all that great of a worker. Not with that hole in her hoof. And it just seems like she gets a little tired pretty quickly. She might not be used to a lot of hard manual labor.”
Lyra nodded. “Interesting...” “That’s rather odd for an earth pony, but then again, things could work differently in Mineighsota.”
Crab Apple rolled his eyes. “You have no idea. But at least she was willing to take me here! Normally when I visit my cousin? There’s almost nothing to do.” He looked at the stack of papers that Lyra had hovering in the air. “What’s that?”
Lyra bit down on her lip. A small pool of conflicted feelings bubbled to the surface. On the one hand, she wanted to confirm what Tale Spinner had told her. But there a part of her mind that was afraid of this whole situation. As if she shouldn’t press the matters. Heartbreak seemed like a nice pony after all. “But she isn’t a pony, is she? She’s something else, maybe something better. I just got to know! And while I hate the idea of using this colt to get information, he might be the only chance I got!” Lyra smiled. “It’s my research on humans, along with a good chunk of the story I just told you there, Dib.”
Crab Apple’s eyes lit up and he peered at the papers. “Really?! Oh neat!”
Lyra quickly moved them away from his inquisitive nose. “I’m not sure I should be showing you this however. There’s a lot of loose ideas and things that even the members of the HLC wouldn’t be ready for.” She said, teasingly.
“Oh come on! You can trust me!” He said, his voice lowering to a hush.
“Well-” Lyra started.
“Please?” Crab Apple asked, his eyes going wide.
Lyra smiled. “Perfect, now if I can just get him to inadvertently tell me something...” “I didn’t want to talk about some of this in front of Heartbreak-”
“H.B.” Crab Apple corrected. “And why not?”
“Well, first off, she was right in that there were some major holes in the story.” Lyra said scratching the back of her head. “And secondly,” she looked around. “How well do you know her?”
Crab Apple looked confused. “Well, not too well, I guess. I mean we’ve only just met. I mean she’s told me about where she’s from, what it’s like, and a little bit about herself. But nothing too detailed. Course, like I said. We’ve just met.”
“Right, and you know how secretive us, HLC members can be. But, there’s a little more to the story that I just told you...”
Crab Apple blinked. “More?”
“Yes,” Lyra took a deep breath. “Are you sure I can trust you with this?” The colt nodded. “Alright, there were a few others in the group of humans other than Merlin and Mordred that possessed magical abilities. In fact a small group of them lead by a human mare by the name of Nimue. Now, Nimue was said to be the fairest of the human maidens and was always found around lakes and rivers, so much so, that many of her pony friends dubbed her with the name, ‘Lady of the Lake.’” Lyra said, excitedly. “Nimue couldn’t have foreseen the problems that Mordred would cause, but overhearing the solution that Merlin had proposed didn’t set right with her either. Why should all of the humans suffer for the mistakes and problems of few? She knew that she couldn’t do anything to sway the rulers of the tribes, the three kings or even Merlins minds about the humans’ self exile. So she came up with a cunning plan of her own. The spell that the leading unicorns and Merlin were going to perform was going to affect all the humans in the land. It would tug them back to their home world by the filaments that tethered them to that place. After all they were still connected to their homeworld by them.”
Crab Apple listened intently, he was still confused about why Lyra didn’t want to share this with Heartbreak. After all, it added another layer of richness to this story. “Fascinating,” Crab Apple looked thoughtful. “So, if these, ‘tethers,’ were to lose their connections,” he looked up at her. “They wouldn’t be pulled back home. But how would they lose those connections?”
Lyra smirked. “Well, the spell was only going to affect Humans, Dib.” Crab Apple nodded. “What if...” she looked around again. “The humans weren’t...human any more?”
Dib blinked. “If they weren’t human, then what would they be?”
Lyra grinned. “Ponies.”
==============================================================
Looking back down the hallway, I am still questioning on whether or not leaving Dib with Lyra was a good idea. I mean she is fanon Lyra after all, but at the same time, I can’t use what other bronies have made up about ponies here to judge what that pony is actually like. I mean there are ponies here that were never on the show, ponies that I don’t know about. Out of the corner of my eye, I spy the, ‘Artists Room.’ The sounds of scribbling enter my ears and I grumble a bit.
“If this was any other event, if I was any other being, if it were any other time, maybe.” I shake my head and pass by the room. I can almost hear the nervous shake in my hooves. As I get close to the door, Brick House looks at me.
“Are you going somewhere?” She asks.
“Yes. Out.” I reply.
“Wait a second,” she says slowly. “Didn’t you have a V.I.P. badge?”
“I-I gave it to the c-c-colt that I came in with,” I reply, stammering on my words. “I didn’t feel right about having it, cause he was the twenty-sixth member really.”
“Oh, huh, that makes sense,” she replies. I must be really out of it, ‘cause normally my brain would have made some comment about, ‘slow ponies,’ being slow. I start to walk to the door. “Oh wait!” She shouts suddenly putting an arm out to stop me.
“Gah!” I jump back at least a few feet.
“Uhm, sorry, but I can’t let you go back outside-” she stops mid-sentence and ducks behind the counter. “Without stamping your hoof! Otherwise, I can’t let you back in!”
“And that would be just a tragedy,” I remark snidely rolling my eyes.
“I know, right?” She pounds the stamp she has in her mouth on an inkpad. “So, which will it be? Left or right hoof?”
I remember how Lyra reacted to the hole in my hoof the first time, and a small mental shudder quickens through my mind. It’s best that I don’t take any chances. “Left hoof,” I say lifting it up. She quickly stamps it.
“Don’t be gone for too long! Don’t want to miss the Suit Parade and other fun activities we have planned!” She says cheerfully.
I glare at the door and see that it is a push handle. Leaning against it, I roll my eyes. “Only if I can help it,” I reply walking outside.
Walking out of the alleyway a little, I breath a sigh of relief. Looking around, I bite down on my hoof and notice the stamp: it’s a hand. “Why does life have to be so ironic? Oh wait, ‘ponyverse. If only you were the real thing,” I shake my head and look around. “I just need something to calm my nerves, something like-”
The ringing of a store bell hits my ears and I look up. Right across the street is a welcome sight. One I haven’t seen in a month. Lah-Tea-Dah.
“Yeah...” I blink and smile a little. “Something like that.”
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Uh oh, things are headed downhill now that TEA has been served :D
Huh, considering all of her little irrationalities I would expect her to be very wary of tea.
Guess not.
Check out that hate of human... I'm not going to bother pointing out any flaws, but I will say this: well written chapter.
1917737 No need for sour grapes but they're all a bunch of apes!
1917751
Dayuuum, check that reaction time, it's like a have a special place in your heart or something.
1917758 *pat pat you*
1917768
i.imgur.com/JD5sa.jpg
Why am I still here? Oh that right, I'm not...
From my perspective, It would be restful for HB if she simply stopped worrying; It's one thing after the other here. Not worrying might take her time to do, Though.
1917793 And then she bit your ear.
1917792 That's a healthy level of Denial ya got going there.
Whenever you find yourself in doubt, just think: "What would Batman do?".
1917844
It's tea time!
I'm just going to keep silent this time.
Eh this chapter was good I'll give it that. I blame school as the reason for me not liking this chapter more. That and maybe shortness even though it really wasn't.
Well at least I guessed the colour right.
1917751 Channeling your inner Zeccy?
1918817 Who?
1918894 your inner Zecora.
Yay update!!!
Hmm the human's becoming ponies, seems legit!
...Come on.... hurry up and finish.... I wanna read the story...