Chapter 38
Tea Time
Subtle Brew smiled behind the counter as she watched another customer exit her shop pleased with their purchase. There had not been too much excitement since that day a month ago, when a single mare had caused so much chaos in the course of but one afternoon.
“*And all because of a cup of tea,*” Subtle Brew giggled slightly. “*Had she just accepted one of our fine teas, she would have not been in that mess, however,*” She looked up and watched the dragonfly watch flit about her shop. “*I would not have my brand new dragonfly watch. Yes, it had to be fixed so that it would not chime the time every minute, but it is a pretty thing...*”
She looked down at the catalog of the many wedding dress styles that were coming out of Canterlot. She shook her head at such overdone styles. “*I don’t understand these ponies, I know I said I would look at this for Earl Grey, but still...I shall wear my mother’s kimono. I wonder what he would think of wearing my father’s?*” She giggled at the thought.
Just then, there was a ringing of the shop bell and a pony’s shadow crept to the edge of the counter. “Oh, welcome to Lah-Tea-Dah. Can I help joooo-!” She exclaimed as her eyes met the piercing blue eyes of her customer. “Oh! Is Heart-Break! Juu came back!”
Heartbreak looked around the shop nervously. “That I did, you still sell tea and I like tea. So, I’m bound to come back.”
“Oh, yes! Yes, we doo...” She replied. “Soo, how are juu doing doing today? All is well?”
“Uhm, better than last time I visited here, but I’m feeling a little-” She paused and rolled her hoof. “Stressed. Do you have anything that will calm my nerves?”
Subtle Brew blinked as she saw a sparkle of light shine through Heartbreak’s hoof. “Aaaah, juu have a-” she started.
Heartbreak hid her hoof behind her leg. “It’s a long story that I would rather not get into. Let’s just say that I would like some rather calming, non-magical tea today?”
Subtle Brew nodded, a questioning look painted her face. “No hay, yes?”
“You can make the tea without the hay?” Heartbreak asked.
“Oh yes! After juu came, I tried to make it without hay! Is different, but not bad... So,” Subtle Brew gave Heartbreak a soft smile. “Juu need someting to calm nerves, yes?”
==============================================================
Crab Apple stared blankly and tried to process what Lyra just told him. “Wait, you’re telling me that she turned them all into ponies? All the humans?”
“Well, not all of them, Dib.” Lyra began. “According to my research, Nimue gathered a number of the humans that wanted to stay and attempted to transform them into ponies. Transformation magic is hard enough for any unicorn to perform even one with high levels of training. However, Nimue knew of strange magics that most unicorns didn’t have access to, and though her spells were imperfect, they worked.” Lyra looked down. “But,”
“But?” Crab Apple asked.
“But, the magic she used was unstable. There were glitches and random things that just didn’t work. For example, some of the new pony’s hooves didn’t work right. Others suffered from little ticks and twitches. And in the worst cases, they would transform back to their human forms, well, temporarily. And this leads into the-”
“Legend of the Werequines!” Crab Apple said in stereo.
“Exactly, the ponies that could turn into humans and vice versa,” Lyra said winking at him. “The concept of creatures that can pose as ponies or even turn into ponies isn’t all too far fetched. Especially when you take into account the various other shape shifting species that inhabit Equestria.”
“Huh, that is true...” Crab Apple replied. “Please continue.”
Lyra smiled. “Right, as you could imagine, this caused a great deal of problems for the new ponies. After all, they were trying to fit in and remain undetected by the rest of the ponies, lest they be caught by the authorities and tried as war criminals.”
“War criminals? Wasn’t this war started by one human?” Crab Apple asked.
“Well, yes and no. Mordred didn’t completely act alone. He needed to get others to help him make his enslaving devices. And whiles enslavement isn’t as bad as outright murder, it was still an act of aggression by the humans. And if tensions weren’t high enough as it were, this was about the time that Discord came to rule,” Lyra looked at Crab Apple seriously. “And we all know what happened to the ponies under his rule. However, there was what the werequines did under his rule.”
“Which was?” Crab Apple asked.
“They helped him,” Lyra took out some of the pages from the envelope. “Equestria was established at least fifty or so years after the humans banishment. And whiles the werequines were getting a little better at fitting in? They were still having problems. And with the newly established governing body, Celestia and Luna were wanting to get things into order. A fledgling nation is something rather vulnerable and weeding out spies from neighboring nations along creatures that could pose problems was something that had to be done. The were’s had to really remain undercover as it were. Then Discord came to rule...And as we all know, Discord is the type of being that knows all about any pony’s secrets just by merely looking at them. He took one look at the werequines, gathered them all in one spot and offered them up a deal. Help him spread chaos and stay or he would deliver them all up to the Sisters on a silver platter to be dealt with.”
Crab Apple blinked. “Wow, that’s just...”
“It’s the way that Discord has said to have dealt with things.” Lyra said frowning. “The former humans unable to do anything else, agreed to this arrangement and helped him spread chaos. Though Discord soon discovered something that he... liked about his newly acquired," Lyra shook her head. "Pets. The humans, despite being trapped in earth pony bodies, something that he apparently delighted in tormenting them about, were really good at causing chaos.”
Crab Apple scratched his head. “Huh, this is all interesting, but what does this have to do with-”
“If you’re going where I think you’re going Dib, give me a bit to explain the rest of this tale.” Dib nodded and eyed Lyra with suspicion as she continued. “So, they helped him spread chaos and helped make other ponies lives pretty horrible for the time that he was in control. But as we all know, all good things come to an end. Something that maybe, just maybe Discord should have thought about.” Lyra said her voice coming to a very low hush. “And we all know what happened next. Discord was defeated and harmony returned to Equestria. However, after that, Celestia’s eye turned to the werequines that had helped Discord. She was not happy about what they did or how they were still in Equestria. And when the appointed leader of the group explained that there wasn’t any way for them to even return to the world from which they came? She was infuriated. In secret, they begged and pleaded their case with her, trying to find a reasonable compromise. A way for them to continue to live among the ponies. But Celestia was unwavering in her final judgement on these rogues in her kingdom.”
Dib looked frightened. After all it was well known that Celestia’s judgements were harsh upon the enemies of Equestria. “W-what did she do?”
“She deemed that the werequines would be living in a banishment of sort, to be sent to an isolated area that was just on the far reaches of Equestria. They would be given enough resources and tools to live and settle the area, but would be given almost little or no interaction with the outside world. Some would call this an extreme punishment, but in those times when Celestia was just coming to rule? It was an act of mercy. An act of mercy that went unnoticed by any living at the time, due to the fact that Celestia completely covered the whole thing up.” Lyra looked around. “Now...why I didn’t want to talk about this in front of... H.B.” Her eyes met up with Crab Apple’s. “I asked you how well you knew her and this might seem a little soon to make any snap judgements, but with the story I just told you...”
Crab Apple blinked for a few minutes and then backed away. “You’re not suggesting that she’s..”
Lyra looked down. “I have been trailing her ever since the two of us met up in the library. There was an event that she kept talking about involving magic tea that pretty much helped her spread what could be called chaos throughout Ponyville. She has various twitches, glitches, and her hooves don’t work right, Dib. To top it all off? She is from an obscure and almost unheard of colony that just has made contact with Equestria again.” She looked back at Dib. “Even with all these things in the mix and aligning with my research, she is definitely hiding something. Now, I don’t think she is an actual threat. Least not like the werequines in my story. However, before I make any accusations, I want to be sure. Absolutely sure. Because if she is really in anyway remotely human, it will mean a first contact event that will rock the whole of the Equestrian world.” Crab Apple blinked wide eyed. “And you would be a part of this event, Dib.” She took a deep breath. “I just need to know, has she said anything remotely odd that made you question whether or not she was really a pony?”
Crab Apple bit his lower lip. There was a few things that under the light of this story and information did make him question this strange pony that he had only just met. He liked her as a friend, she was kind and understanding, but most of all she listened to him. At the same time, this was his dream. A dream that almost seemed too good to be true. A dream that was now within hoof’s reach. Actually meeting a human-well almost human. And she had said a few things that would make more sense if she was a werequine and had a sudden outburst of transformation to her ancestral form.
Lyra looked at the young colt. “Well?” She asked.
“Well...” Crab Apple began.
==============================================================
Watching Subtle Brew perform her tea making is, I have to admit a thing of wonder. It might be the way that she uses her bi-coloured tendrils of magic to open several boxes to choose ingredients, the aromatic smell of citrus, lavender and maybe what I think might be sage leaves being mixed together with light rolled green tea leaves, or it just might be that she looks very zen like doing it. Like this isn’t any trouble at all.
“I’ve never had this tea before,” I say, trying to break the silence in the room.
“Oh, is very good for stress.” She begins. The skeptic in me wants to roll their eyes and ask if there is any data supporting that idea. I think I was a little too far into that argument with Lyra than I first thought.
Looking out the window and to the alleyway behind me I am reminded of what little headache awaits for me. “I should have seen that coming. I really should have seen it coming. Damn it, H.B., why the fuck couldn’t you see that coming?” I sigh and roll my eyes. There is a pulsing in my temples that feels like it could lead to a migraine if I let it go too far. “Right, uhm, just wondering do you have anything for headaches as well?”
“Dis tea has properties to help with dose too,” she says cutely. Gah, even the fucking foreign unicorns here can be overly cute.
“Well, I have a feeling that I am going to need something much stronger. There are somep-p-ponies and situations that I have had a hard time coping with. It’s lead to some rather... unpleasant situations.” I explain, rubbing my ankles.
I feel a small light pressure grasp my leg. Looking down, I see that it is one of the many tendrils coming off Subtle Brews’ horn. “Please, if juu do that anymore, juu will have a bald spot,” She has a sad, sympathetic look on her face.
“Uhm, yeah, I know. It’s just that,” I let out a long sigh.
“Juu are having a hard time with the, ‘adjusting?’” She asks. Fetlocks, she’s going to give me the, ‘I understand what you are going through, I too am foreign,’ speech. I am not sure if I should roll with it, fight it or- ah fuck it. She’s making me tea. She’s holding all the cards here. I’ll let her have her moment of, ‘wisdom.’
“I guess you have lots of experience with that,” right, play along with some of this. Then again, I just might get something useful out of it. Maybe some wonderful bit of Chinese Wisdom that can help with this situation. “I mean, you left home, are in a strange land with strange p-p-ponies and-” I sigh as the question bubbles to the surface. A question that I really don’t want to ask, due to the fact that I know that she wouldn’t really understand the more convoluted parts of my situation.
“How do I deal with it all?” She asks me.
“Yes...” I shake her magic off my hoof. The magic is starting to make me a bit leery, and by a bit leery, I just mean leery.
“Iz not easy, but if juu have te help of friends and loved ones, juu can overcome any obstacle,” she tells me. I mentally facepalm and fight the urge to ask her if she found that nugget of wisdom in a Chinese fortune cookie. No! You are not a bad person!
I bite my tongue on all these thoughts. “I-I-I have a hard time making ffffriends and I don’t have... any loved ones, anymore.” Fuck. Just, fuck. a trip to the tea shop has resulted in another moment of emotional turmoil.
She mixes the ingredients in a mortar and gives them a quick grind. “I understands that feeling. My father is so far away that-”
I shake my head. “It isn’t that they are far away,” Fuck, I just want some fucking tea, not some sort of long, ‘let’s connect on an emotional level,’ bonding moment.
“Awww! Are juu den all alone?” She asks me sympathetically.
Son of a bitch! Can’t I have my fucking tea?! I bite my lower lip hard and fight the urge to just chew her out for not getting me some tea already. “No. There is no reason for you to do that. She is just making conversation. She has no idea that she is treading into a rather tender spot.” “It’s fine, I don’t mind doing things on my own. Really, I’m making a bigger deal of it tha-” I begin.
I feel that same weird sensation of Subtle Brew’s magic on my chin as she pulls it up to meet my gaze. I pull back sharply. She tsks and pulls out a tea set. “By it self, citrus tea is a good ting. Good for many tings. But,” she lights a small fire under her tea pot. “It can be made better with other tings added.”
Oh joy, I get to learn the wonders of friendship via tea metaphors! Part of me wants to gag, another part wants to bang my head against the wall, and the final part of me just wants some fucking tea! I know I have said it before, but sweet fucking Gaia! I just want tea. “Subtle Brew, I get what you are saying. And I really appreciate it, I do. But there are a lot of things that really complicate the whole, ‘just make friends and you’ll have an easier time adapting,’ advice you’re giving me.” I finally spit out, resting my forehead on the counter.
I hear the sound of liquid being poured. Looking in front of me, I see the steaming cup of tea in front of me. It’s aroma fills my nostrils and I feel a little better. “If juu cannot find dose tings, den it would seem to me, juu ave not found jour place in tings. Te best way of, ‘dealing with it all,’ is to find balance. Find juur center, go with juur talents. Juu seem like te type that fights the stream, pushing tings all around her. My advice, go with the flow of the stream. Do tings that complement juur talents. If juu do dat, friends and good times will follow,” She looks up at me and smiles softly. “Of course, my advice, like dis tea, iz jours and jours alone to take.”
Good grief. A supply of nearly endless patience and fortune cookie wisdom. Lesser people and ponies would have snapped and given up on me by now. I sigh deeply. “Could I take my tea with a few lumps of sugar?”
~Spoilers~
(Joke) Alt. Title: My Little Heartbreaker: Meanwhile, At The End Of Lonely Street
1955300 Or will he say nothing and continue on his own until he finds out more. Or maybe he's actually the werequine! Or maybe none of this is real and HB is still hallucinating tea!
Maybe I should stop with insane theories before I break my head.
Well the chapter was like all the others. In other news, this chapter marks the (insert clever date of importance here)!
1955300 Personally I would love to see the chaos if he does tell her about HB eating meat.
I LOVE JUUUUU
Stop being a jerk HB. You are the one letting your stress affect you, and are asking for help. The least you can do is not think sarcastic and insulting thoughts as she tries to help out.
1956153 Are you kidding? Reactionary thoughts like that are really difficult to control. They can be suppressed and you can throw mental blankets over the inner fire, but it's still there. It's what you do with them that counts, and given the source material to work with, HB is really making an effort here.
1956249 Actually, that isn't a reactionary thought. She is actively coming up with sarcastic responses in her head, she just isn't saying them. Sarcasm involves comparisons, cynicism, and critiquing. It doesn't take much thought to come up with one, but someone being actively unable to to think anything but snark would require the arrogance that rarely could exist outside of a rebellious teenager.
Aww, you forgot to add "in bed" after all that advise!
There's the calm before the storm. HB does need friends, This whole "Running from depression" Thing doesn't work. I'm imagining if Lyra and Dib confront her with the theory she's going to do something like a Shaggy Rogers impression.
A nice chapter but just one minor nitpick: We Chinese do not wear Kimonos for weddings, the Japanese do.
The ancient Chinese traditional clothing is the Hanfu, anyway. The qipao is a more recent development (from the Cheongsam [lit. Long Body, a wide two piece female dress dating back to Qing Dynasty]).
... Okay, it doesn't look like a minor nitpick anymore...
Is this spoken aloud or thought inside her head? You've used apostrophies for thoughts fairly consistantly. Done several times. Especially confusing in below example.
Is she speaking a foreign language? Otherwise * are somewhat redundant when the type is in italics.
But... Technically.
'No. There's... tender spot'.
1957523
And British people don't all speak with a Trottingham or Upper Class Twit accent.
And Saddle Arabia probably doesn't beat their mares if they try to pull a cart, or learn to read.
Though Prance probably does have a problem with surrendering.
Pony nations tend to be extremely fuzzy versions of their earth equivolents, in georgraphy and culture.
1958091 "**" Denote foreign language
1957523 That is a good minor nitpick. However I am going to go on the "Asian Unicorns are neither Japanese or Chinese"
1956334 Why arrogance?
1956153 And then you were a mare. *puts on shades.* Deal with it.
This chapter.
I like it.
At least we know why Celly tried to put HB's brain through a solar Material Emancipation Grid.
Or something to that effect.
1958667 cause you can't be cynical with out being condescending. Which requires one to be quite arrogant.
1958668 bah, shades are your answer to everything... hehe~
1959148 And you are defining arrogance as? Cause she just might be in a bitchy mood ya know.
1958844 Oh Hadjii. that made me laugh.
1960241 nvm, I'll just say that HB can't even go a few seconds without thinking snarky little comments in her mind. She is being petty and making it hard for anyone to care about her plight. also.. she is always in a bitchy mood.
1960467 *pours tea on you*
1958099
I am aware of that but when an author has already explicitly established that a certain character is from a real human culture (in this case Chinese), the author also need to exercise care when bringing in elements from other culture without explanation which would irk readers from said cultures because it makes the author seem ignorant of the subject.
To put it very simply, if you show a character is from a Chinese culture, with all the trappings of its language, it will look strange to a Chinese when an element from the Japanese culture is suddenly introduced or mentioned without any warning even if the aim of author was to do maybe a "Generic Asian" look.
1958666
As I have already mentioned above, just be a little careful when you go about this. Not everyone might be nice about it. Then again, I'm probably one of the few on this site who are stickler for rules when it comes to my own culture.
Anyway, no hard feelings.
1960705
Technically, that's correct. Except that has has not happened here. Unless the nation that Subtle Brew is from is a People's Republic, has an obsession with the colour red, and doesn't like to hear the words 'square' and 'tanks' in the same sentence - then no this is not the China of our world. Any more than the China of our world is the China of Tom Clancy's delusional US military masturbation fantasies.
Also, bare in mind the the whole of Equestria is a 'Generic European' setting.
And to nitpick your nitpick, do they use umbrellas in China? Surely they don't! Because umbrellas are from India - and you would have us believe that Chinese people never use any items of dress or accessories from another culture. To which I reply, "No! No! Stop that! It's far too silly!"
Well, I guess there's something to be said about...
Taking your lumps...
1961095
Well, this isn't really relevant but as fawr as I have read, umbrellas have always been invented by an ancient Chinese named Lu Ban. Whether the umbrellas were individually invented elsewhere or not, I don't know but I digress.
With regards to your point, you are correct in that cultures in stories are analogues whether they're referemced by name or used under a fictional name. Subtle Brew may not be from PRC but she was shown to have come from a culture heavily influenced by/brrowed from Chinese culture and when you drop very idenifable terms from another culture into something you established to be another culture, people will notice and that's why it drew my attention and the comment/nitpick.
Anyway, as the author explained in his reply to my comment, I'm okay with his decision.
Ultimately the both of us are arguing/discussing over a nitpick so I think we should stop.
1961095 Thank you ANTIcarrot. The answer is that they are 'asian' unicorns. Meaning that they are an amalgamation of many asian stereotypes, cultural glitches, and the like.
The place that Subtle Brew is from is called Shanghai. Her and her clan live in a mountainous area that is high and mostly isolated from the rest of Equestria. There they grow tea and whatever they need to survive. The rest of the area is covered in dense forested jungles with lots of asian style dragons. This means that there are both 'Chinese' style dragons AND 'Japanese' style dragons.
Clothing in this culture is much like how it is in the rest of Equestria. Not normally worn and brought out on special occasions. They do have the rice paper pointed hats and while they have magic, they generally find it better to not use it when growing the tea.
Celestia has a deal with the Asian Ponies. She doesn't bother them and they provide her with tea. They govern themselves and work in small communal clans that help defend each other against dragons and other threats of Shanghai.
They are a bit isolationist, but have a simple ancient wisdom about them.
1961357 *turns you into a real pony* Thank you
1960467 I think of the unlikeability as partly resulting from the huge well of chaos energy H.B. is currently packing. Stripped of everything but one's memories and given disabilities that make others narrow their eyes would certainly cause mental trauma. H.B. is an abomination among among aliens, which places a huge strain on any social situation.
Also, slice of life stories that begin with completely likeable characters tend to fizzle out and become boring once all the generic plots have been used up. H.B.'s internal struggle to overcome the darker nature is part of the overarching struggle to keep what identity remains. Failure to transform and become a better pony will result in annihilation, and H.B. knows this. This is one of the few stories I've read where character development is actually a major plot point, and not the other way around.
If you don't like the character as a person, that's totally a normal reaction. The flaws are such that I don't think we're meant to. The journey and progression, however, I am quite interested in.
1961742 You have made me a happy pony.
1961742
I would say TLDR, but I did read because awesome.
Yay update!!!
Also to the background of how human's existed.in Equestria makes sense!
1961357 Booop!
Time to troll Tia-Tia *wrings hands menacingly together*
Lyra's story has too many similarities to HB's to be coincidence, which means it's probably at least partly true...and maybe the REAL reason why Celestia wants to mind-wipe her. Maybe if Discord shows up in these stories he might give us the real version of events, since I doubt Celestia would, and Luna may or may not have been involved, since the story only mentions Tia.
I figured out why I don't like how heartbreak has been handling things. She still thinks she has to go home. The only reason I can see for her to go back is for revenge. Her ties to that world have been severed. No one knows you there, move on. Make a better life here and don't fuck around with powerful petty vindictive magical creatures this time.
5458382
Small question: How was she supposed to know that they were the Fae? That 9 exes in a row were the Fae?
It seems to me that she was targeted maliciously.