Chapter 17
The Cows are Restless, the Sheep are Nervous.
The sounds of the farm enter my ears and I take a deep inhalation of the air around me. It smells exactly like a farm mixed with country air. The world of Equestria hasn’t been tainted with things like pollution or harsh chemicals.
But a farmyard still smells like a farmyard. The smell of cut grass, drying hay, animals and manure. It’s a special kind of pungent that when you and your friends pass through on the highways of Minnesota, one of them, without fail has to open one of the windows and go, ‘Mmmmmm! Smell that country air!’
Granted that the, ‘country air’ here isn’t like it is back on the Earth I am from. This is less industrialized, more raw. In the modern industrialized world, there are small cramped buildings filled with animals that don’t see too much sunshine or have too much space. And then there is the smell. Layers upon layers of horrible ammonia and methane. That are blended with the particular odor of that animal. Around in the more rural parts of Minnesota, this was generally pig or turkey farms.
“I know what a farm is, Applejack,” I reply. “We have farms were I am from.” Fuck. With the way that she has imagined my world, it’s most likely an industrial nightmare in her mind. Quick! Lessen the blow! Damage control! “In fact, there are a good deal of farms where I am from that are exactly like this one.” I make a face looking at the all too colourful decorations that adorn the storage units and fences. “Well, almost exactly like them..”
Applejack’s expression is hard to judge on what I just said. While she is nodding and smiling, as if to say, ‘Oh right, so ya all are exactly like us pony-folk,’ her eyes are telling me that she doesn’t quite believe me and that industrial style nightmare is sleeping in her mind. “Right, well, some of the morning chores that ah normally do begin with checking on the other critters that care to call this humble farm home. Like the cows and sheep.”
I’m a little worried about her introducing me to what would just be live stock on the world I am from. Cows and Sheep are animals that humans have long domesticated and they didn’t domesticate them for their intelligence. It’s awkward enough being around colourful talking ponies. The thought of having a conversation with an animal that your entire species practically enslaved for their meat? That’s not something I am looking forward to. “Fuck, you’re sounding like an ad for PETA. And PETA is a bunch of bullshit, H.B.” Playful barking breaks my rather unpleasant thoughts about these matters and Winona comes bounding towards us.
“Good morning to you too, Winona!” Applejack says, greeting her dog. “Heartbreak, this here is...” Applejack pauses and gives me a look. “Well, Ah’m guessing ya already know who this is, seeing that ya know so much about us as it is.”
Applejack sounded rather happy to introduce me to Winona. And part of me is rather disappointed that she stopped on the account of me already knowing. “Yes, I do, but you don’t have to stop,” I say, quietly looking at Winona. I blink. Winona seems to have stopped her normal bouncy greeting and is backing away a bit.
“Right then! Heartbreak, ya already know Winona. Winona this here is Heart-” Applejack is interrupted by Winona taking a cautious sniff at me and then backing up and growling. The look on her face is starting to scare me.
“Applejaaaack...” I say nervously.
“Winona!” Applejack scolds. Winona cowers and whimpers. She looks incredibly sad, but almost instantly changes the moment she sees me. Applejack frowns, and instead of facing her owners chastising again, Winona turns tail and runs back to the farm. “Winona!” Applejack calls out. “Well, Ah never.” That’s two pet tests I’ve failed. Any more and I think I will start to suspect that something is up. “Ah’m sorry about that there, Heartbreak. She’s never dun that before.”
I nod and attempt to brush the fear away. “I-it’s fine, Applejack. I’m a stranger. She’s just trying to protect her family.”
“Yeah, but she hardly-” Applejack begins.
“I said I was fine,” I insist. I don’t want to think anymore about what just happened. If I do, I’ll get upset, from there I’ll be angry and it’ll be Owloysius all over again. I steel myself up. “Right, let’s just go back to showing me the rest of the farm, right?”
==============================================================
Applejack was confused by what just happened. Winona was such a well behaved dog. She always followed commands and greeted strangers in a friendly manner. But with the way that she acted just now, a pony might think that Heartbreak was threatening to attack. “Though, some fancy dog breeding ponies say that dogs could pick up more on their owners feelings and fears than anything. Ah’ hope ah’m not projecting anything that would give Winona the wrong impression about Heartbreak. She’s been through so much as it is already.” “Right then! How about we go check up on the cows, then!”
Heartbreak sighed and looked less than enthusiastic. “Sure,” she replied, walking with Applejack to the barn that housed the cows.
Applejack opened the barn doors, and rang a nearby cowbell. “Morn’ ladies! Rise and shine!” she called out.
Many of the cows were already awake and quietly talking away with one another about different matters. How the hay was, how well the milk was flowing, how much they enjoyed the sun and hoped to do a bit of free-ranging today.
“Ooooh, gooood morning there, Applejack!” One of them called out.
“Morn’ Betsy!” Applejack said, smiling. A brown cow nodded contently back at Applejack. “Hey, Dairyanne. How’s it flowin’?”
“Same as always, Applejack. Warm and white,” Dairyanne replied.
A cow with a crank calculator and some paperwork was busily crunching numbers. “How’s this month’s production look there, Gateway?” Applejack asked, leaning against her stall and looking only slightly concerned.
“Oh, we’ll have enough to pay for your rent, enough for grass and hay costs, and even a little leftover to contribute to the farm if all goes well!” the black and white spotted cow replied.
There was a cow at the end of the barn that lay upon a large mat of grass chewing on a tuft of hay. She watched the others with lazy contentment. “Good mornin’, Mr. Moo-Moo,” Applejack said smiling. “Heartbreak this here is-” Applejack stopped in the middle of her sentence.
Heartbreak had been rather quiet during this whole time and only now did Applejack see why. Behind her, the tan pony was looking exceptionally uncomfortable and horribly nervous. It wasn’t hard to see why either. The other cows were giving her odd looks. Very wary, almost fearful looks.
“Goood Morning, Applejack,” Mr. Moo-Moo replies. “Uuuhm, Whooo is your neeew friend?”
==============================================================
I have not walked but ten feet into the barn that houses the cattle and I am already getting weird looks. There’s a saying, once is nothing. Twice, coincidence. Three times? Now that’s the start of a pattern. Calm down, H.B., seriously. You’re a newcomer here and A.J. hasn’t introduced you as of yet.
But the looks in their eyes are telling me something else. The way that those big brown cow eyes keep following me. Even the cow named, ‘Gateway,’ has stopped her number crunching and is giving me a strange look. Stop it. Just stop being self-conscious and all worried about this.
Applejack frowns at them and they turn back to doing what it was that they were doing before. She turns back to, ‘Mr. Moo-Moo.’ “Well, this here is Heartbreak.” she replies. “Heartbreak, this here is Mr. Moo-Moo.”
The name is totally throwing me off. Obviously, this is a cow. Not a bull. A cow. She has udders, a female voice with a Wisconsin accent, and I am quite sure she has what every cow - what every female - has that makes her female. She slowly chews her hay and looks at me with slight indifference. “It is very nice tooo meet yooou, Heartbreak.”
I still don’t care who that is coming from. I hate that name. Calm down H.B. No need to freak out in the middle of the barn. “Uhm, likewise,” I reply. Damn it. Do I sound like a shut in? Make some kind of small talk! “Mr. Moo-Moo?” She gives me a soft smile and nods her head. “Uhm, not to be rude and I might not be one to talk. But your name is Mr. Moo-Moo?”
She blinks and then gets what I am trying to imply. “Ooooh yes, I get a lot of confuuuused questions about that.” she lifts a hoof and points to the other cows in the barn. I think there are twelve here. Well, thirteen if you count, ‘Mr. Moo-Moo,’ “Yooou see, I happen to run a rather tight shift with my girls here, and some of the neeew creew thought that was rather, ‘bullish,’ of me. Sooo, they dubbed me with the name, ‘Mr. Mooo-Mooo.’ Instead of giving into their teasing, I took up the nickname and accepted it,” she explains, shrugging.
“Oh, I see.” I eye the barn door. While Mr. Moo-Moo doesn’t seem like is giving me any funny looks, I am still feeling uneasy. Why the hell am I feeling this uneasy around talking cows!? “So, Applejack, how about you show me the rest of the farm?” Applejack gives me an odd look.
“Alright, ya ladies have a fine day. Ah’ll come back ta see ya at nooon!” Applejack almost sings out that last part. The cows give a short laugh at her antics, before we leave the barn.
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Applejack was taken back by the cows’ reactions to Heartbreak. “They never acted like that with any of the others. Ah’m gonna have to have a talk with them later.”
Heartbreak looked nervously back at the barn and kept walking forward. “Where to next? The sheep?”
Applejack nodded. “Now, keep in mind, the sheep are a little different.”
“Different how? Can’t they talk and express themselves as well?” Heartbreak asked.
“Well, yeah, but they’re the type that if ya give them an inch, they’ll take a mile,” Applejack responded. “Now, keep in mind there is one who is pretty much in charge of the rest of them, but she knows her place around here.” Heartbreak just rolled her eyes and shook her head as the two of them approached the pen that sheep were kept in. “Morn’ all, time ta be let out and tak’n to grazin’ on the south hill taday!”
The sheep on the other hoof said nothing, but as the two ponies came closer, they started to back away. Heartbreak watched Applejack open the pen. The sheep looked at Applejack and backed away a bit farther from the entrance of pen. Their eyes were clearly fixed on Heartbreak.
“Now, come on out!” Applejack commanded. She turned to Heartbreak. “See? This here is why ah don’t give these critters an inch.” Heartbreak said nothing, but the expression on her face was more than enough to say something. Her left eye had started to twitch and the expression on her face somehow mingled fear and rage together. “Heart-uhm, H.B.? Are ya alright?”
“One second, Applejack. I want to see something,” she angrily replied walking past the entrance of the pen. As she walked near the fence, the sheep moved away, giving her a wide space. She looked at them with a sharp glare and then shuffled backwards. The sheep followed in suit. She then continued walking forward, her head slumping down with a bitter expression. As soon as she was on the other side of the pen, the sheep bolted out of the gate. Heartbreak slumped and dropped her rear to the ground in an upset manner.
Applejack walked over to the sad looking pony. “Is there somethin’ wrong, sugarcube?”
“The sheep are purposely avoiding me,” She replied dejectedly.
Poor HB. That's one hell of a blow to take after everything else. On top of all those personal problems, all the animals seem to view her as a predator as well.
Nothing goes right even when there's nothing to be done!
1235555 And she really loves animals.
1235562 He* COUGHT COUGHT
1235612 THEY.
1235613 SURE MEANWHILE WITH TWILIGHT puu.sh/12N4M
1235613 Them. Us. It. We. Those.
This is a fun game
1235613
S/he*
Honestly just nickname her/him Quina and get it over with.
Yep, something purposely poisoned his/her chances. I doubt the animals read HB as predator, more like they feel the Fae curse on him/her.
Would be kinda funny if Angel Bunny is the only pet unaffected by it.
Eeyup. The fae strike again. Now does HB ping as fae to the "lesser" animals? OR is it a degree of "uncanny valley?"
1235767 Uncanny valley?
Poor HB how much more must she go through her body,name have been taken from her, she also must deal with the possibility of her mind being taken also and now she finds out that the animals hate her.
I think it's the fae saying "Heartbreak is EVIL" in the animal's subconscious, strong enough that it pops up in their behavior.
And did anyone else notice that what that cow said was freakishly like the dream?
>> Jet_Black1980 you're freaking me out.
1235773
It's a robotics theory regarding human interaction with human-like robots. Humans can interact ok with something like Johnny 5 (or WALL-E) because they look enough like robots, but have the cute/giant eyes. But we would have trouble interacting with, say, a Chuck-E-Cheese animatronic come to life. 1235767 is theorizing that the pets and other animals are seeing HB as "close, but no cigar" causing them to be repulsed. You see them term a lot in computer animation, as well, as the graphics are getting very realistic, but it causes us to really notice the differences. This is why humans often get animated as very "cartoon-y" in computer animated films.
I have graphs!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f0/Mori_Uncanny_Valley.svg
1235849 Interesting Idea. I will let you all roll with that. I also want a graph for the "Disproportionate Extremes of Cuteness/Horror and Horror/cuteness" This law of fan fiction makes the prediction that the more cute and loveable a character is in canon, the more likely they are to be a horrible terrible monstrosity on the inside. And the more horrifying something is in canon, the more likely they are going to be depicted and cute and cuddly on the inside in fanfiction. This also works well for super heroes. Beware ultra cute girls with puppies.
Hmm... so HB really likes animals, the Fae turned her into a female pony named Heartbreak, and animals shy away, act hostile, and try their best to get away from her...
Right. Where's Titania? Gonna give the Fae Queen a good old smack upside her head for this! Bad enough she gets severed from her world, forced into a different body and gender, and can't even speak about her own world properly... But the animal thing is just pushing it over the fence.
1235876
Yeah, the simile would be the phrase "seeing the seams." Though, personally, I think what 1235886 said is closer to your reality, i.e. H.B. lives in an ironic world. Love animals? Now they all fear you. Trying to be nice? You're easily irritable. etc. (Here's the TVTropes link for Uncanny Valley, if you're curious as to how it applies in fiction)
No time to make a graph for your second point, but I imagine it to be something like a series of data points with bisecting lines to show averages. Or I guess a skewed parabola, if you wanted to be simple. Cute is Evil plays with with what Tropes calls Sliding Scale of Idealism; cynics just knew nothing could be 100% good or pure! Though, and I think you imply this, that tends to be a bit of a cheap story mechanic since you still end up playing with absolutes. To that end, it's a cheap reveal because it's done so often.
1235957 And absolutes are absolutely boring. Conflict and difficulty are fun! And detail. Lots of detail.
1235969
something, something only a sith, something something...
I agree, continue to ply us with detail, conflict and exasperation!
1236030 It makes those happy moments, when they happen, stand out all the more so.
HB had happy moments? ... well anyway have a very quickly drawn HB...
img6.imagebanana.com/img/nyytpyi9/HBshower.png
1236105 And then this story had it's first "cheesecake" drawing. /)^3^(\
1235749 OH GOD! If Winona gets pissed off at HB and she's already a nice dog, then I think Angel Bunny will tear HB up
1235613
How about shklee? That should cover all bases.
1236171
well you see, english isn't my first language, so at first i was absolutely confused by your comment
i was all like: 'cheesecake? that doesn't even make sense!'
than i remembered that i had the internet...
after a few seconds of glorious internet research i actually got what you were saying and i learned something new
than i thought: 'wait a minute, i didn't even try to make i look like that, but what if i would try to draw a picture like that?'
what i'm trying to say here, is that i will deny any responsibility of the next picture i will draw... god, that will not end well!
and sorry for this little 'story time'
1237686 Um, no need to apologize. It's Ok. I love your drawings.
1236533
That's why I would find it hilarious that the most likely animal to maul HB would be immune.
1241314 Maul, other ponies find disturbing, be slightly horrifying and not something that a lot of other humans find adorable?
1241314 Maul, other ponies find disturbing, be slightly horrifying and not something that a lot of other humans find adorable?
1242701
Any animal that can bully Fluttershy can't be normal.
And I can't seem to get an image of HB in swat gear preparing for the expected mauling and getting an bunny hoofbump instead.
......Bizarre.
hm, yeah, this chapter has firmed up what I keep picturing in my mind for the witches knot of spells swirling around HB. I already knew lore says animals can see the fey or their works, but this is horrifying confirmation. I can only hope the very last chapter of the very last book shows the 9 why you dont pee in the pool of two sisters who move celestial objects for a living and even use celestial objects for public beautification projects... (constellations)
I wonder if the thinking, talking animals can only sense and not see it but now I have to draw HB as she would be seen with magesight...
1236030 MONKEYS!
They sense a predator.
Why do all the animals fear Heartbreak? Because she was and probably still is an apex predator.
11052306
YOU GET THE JOKE! OMG! I WASN'T SURE IF ANY OF MY READERS WOULD GET THE GATEWAY-CALCULATOR JOKE!
udders
11807262
This spelling mistake is udderly ridiculous!