But I'm Never Right!
Chapter 13
But I’m Never Right!
“Is there something wrong, H.B.?” Twilight asks me.
I take a full gulp of the coffee. It’s still pretty damn hot, but not hot enough to burn my throat. I slip the cup off my hoof. I think about how I am going to approach this situation, sigh and then rub my temples.
“Twilight, why do you want to show me what’s in your basement?” I ask her.
She looks nervous. “I have a theory about why your hooves don’t work right, and I wanted to run some tests.”
I nod. “Right, and in your basement there is some pretty advanced Equestrian testing equipment that you would just plug me up to. And then you would just ‘run some tests.’”
Twilight gives me that look that she always gives me when I tell her about the things I know. I am getting sick of seeing that look. It’s an uneasy fear that is mingled with slight dramatic shock. “You know about what’s in my basement?”
I frown, roll my eyes and face-hoof. “Yes I do, Twilight.” I get up from the table. I don’t care that my coffee is halfway finished. She raises a hoof. “You know I am not going to explain how I know, Twilight. So don’t bother asking.”
“Well, then if you know, will you help me find out what’s wrong with you?” Twilight asks. Her question seems innocent enough on the surface, but I know better. I shoot her a deathly glare. “If we know what is happening with your hooves, maybe we can fix it.” she says with a wide, ‘I’m really trying to help you! I really am!’, look in her eyes.
“No.” I walk into the library area.
“No?” she asks me.
“No,” I say, going over to the couch that I slept on last night.
“Any reason why?” she asks me.
“Seriously?” I say as I attempt to get back up on the couch.
“Let me guess,” she begins in a mocking voice. “‘It will lead to a spinning vortex of insanity from which there is no return, Twilight Sparkle!’”
I hated being mocked by my mother as a child. I. Hated. It. The way she would attempt to imitate my voice and try to push me into doing or saying things that I neither wanted to or meant to say. That same spike of anger twitches through my being as we are speaking right now. “No Twilight. It’s not that at all.”
“Then what is it?” she asks.
“I’m not comfortable with being hooked up to machines whose inner workings I know nothing about.” There is that and the fact that I am sure that Twilight is attempting to needle out information.
“But aren’t you from a world that is nearly overrun with machines that practically control your life?” Twilight asks me.
I rub my temples again and turn to face her. Her misconceptions about the world I am from are mostly my doing. I haven’t told her much and have left too much to her imagination. “I never said that! They,” I pause and try to collect my thoughts. But that angry snake in the back of my head is pushing me to get more and more pissed off about this situation than I should be. “They just make life a lot easier. Plus we don’t just go around hooking them up to random p-p-ponies and expect ‘all kinds of scientific information!.’”
Twilight’s face snaps and she opens her mouth looking confused and desperately trying to figure things out. Shit, I hope I didn’t break her with that comment. I should really tone down what things I know about the shows. Otherwise they really will catch on. “I..You...How!?”
“Stop thinking about it, Twilight, and just take Pinkie’s advice! Alright?” I plead. “I. Just. Know.” I get back up off the couch. Her questions are making me uncomfortable and I feel like pacing. “How does that machine of yours work even?”
Twilight blinks at me. “It works by channeling the ambient aetherial magical energies that are inherent within a pony’s internal bioelectrical system and reading it through a oscillating dielectric tri-coloured crystal matrix.”
I don’t know what’s worse. The abominable sounding quazi-science babble that just dribbled out of Twilight’s mouth, or the fact that being a sci-fi buff I understood half of that.
“Twilight! That doesn’t make any sense! That sounds like science grabble if we were living in a magical fantasy land!” My hooves droop and Twilight is bemused by the expression on my face.
“Equestria to H.B., we are living in a magical land,” she replies.
“Be that as it may! The answer is still, ‘No.’” I reply.
“Are you going to explain to me why?” Twilight asks me.
“I just told you why! I’m not comfortable with it!” I reply. My voice is starting to go up in volume.
“I’m just trying to help you by solving your problem with science!” She counters, nearly getting up in my face.
“With science!? That’s not how you do science! Not on the world I am from. And I’m pretty sure that’s not how you do it here in Equestria!” I nearly shout at her.
“Well then oh great science wizard from beyond the star, what is science and how do you do it!?” She says, folding her arms.
I am not taken back by the question, but I am getting seriously ticked off. I need to back away from Twilight. “Alright, first you make an observation-”
“We did that! We observed that your hooves aren’t working right!” Twilight says sarcastically.
“Hold. Up. First comes observation, then comes hypothesis, then comes testing!” I exclaim at her. “The step you’re missing is the hypothesis, the educated guess on why these things are happening! If you had one of those, you just might have figured out Pinkie Sense!”
Twilight doesn’t even give me a look of confusion. Right now, anger and disbelief are on her face. “Right then! What is your great educated guess about Pinkie Sense?!”
“Simple! Pinkie’s brain works faster than it can process the information! It takes things in on a subconscious level and then alerts her to possible dangers by giving her different twitches, glitches and warning signs!” I shout back at her. “If you had a hypothesis you just might have figured that out!”
“Yeah?!” She says, glaring at me.
“YEAH!” I shout back at her.
“Then what is the hypothesis behind why your hooves won’t work right?!” She shouts back.
“I don’t know! It could be a number of things! Fae magic! Or just the fact that I am in a twenty-one year old pony body and I am missing twenty-one years of practice with them!” I shout at her.
“Well,” she says curtly, “Now we have the second step in your scientific method, can we go downstairs and do some testing to confirm it?” She asks.
This is more than upsetting me now. It is enraging me. It is enraging me so that I have to express it physically. I feel a tightening in my muscles, a fury that begins in my gut and works its way out through my back legs. Almost involuntarily I can feel them kick at the bookshelf behind me. “I SAID NO!”
The books on the shelf all fall off and the shelf collapses behind me. Spike walks out of the upstairs bedroom and shoots us both a burning glare. “Hey! Could you both keep it down!? Some ponies are trying to sleep up here!”
==============================================================
Twilight looked at Heartbreak. The both of them were equally exasperated at the other. What started out as merely Twilight wanting to help Heartbreak in a way that she was used to turned into an all out morning fude. Heartbreak’s face was twitching, her breath was labored and behind her was a pile of books and a broken bookshelf.
Twilight glared at her. “See what you’ve done!?”
“What I’ve done!” Heartbreak retorted back. “I’m not the one who has had her ‘student’ locked up under house arrest for the past month!”
“That was for your own good and safety!” Twilight insisted.
Spike rolled his eyes and came down stairs. “Really, you two? This early in the morning? Come on, can’t we all just get along?”
“Not when she keeps refusing to take even the slightest bit of help from me!” Twilight shouted.
“What?! I’ve been taking plenty of help from you! But when you start insisting that I be hooked up to machines like a lab rat!” Heartbreak countered, shaking her hoof at Twilight. “That’s crossing a line, Twilight Sparkle!”
“I just want to understand what’s going on! I want to understand so that I can help you become a better pony!” Twilight slammed her hooves down on the ground. “I’m starting to get the reason why you were renamed ‘Heartbreak.’”
Spike looked at Twilight in shock. “Twilight!”
“What?” Twilight said, angrily. That anger dissipated when seeing Heartbreak up close like she was. Her face was turned down and her mane and tail, which was normally wavy, had gone completely flat.
“Y-y-you have n-no idea...” Heartbreak began.
“H.B...she didn’t mean what she said. She wasn’t think-” Spike started.
“No, I think she knew exactly what she was thinking.” Heartbreak’s face twitched. “You have no idea what it is like to be me, Twilight. Sparkle.” Her voice was marred with pain.
“I have no idea because you never tell us anything!” Twilight replied.
“Fine. You want me to tell you something? I’ll tell you in a story. How about we visit the Twilight Zone? Hmm?” Heartbreak said, fighting back her emotions. “Let’s take a trip to a strange little world of light and sound, and into a little story that you might actually relate to. A story that might put yourself in my hooves, Twilight wakes up one morning. She doesn’t find herself in her comfy little library bed. But in a nest and in the cold reaches of a high mountaintop! Not only that, but she finds that she isn’t even a pony. She’s now a gryphon! A gryphon that every other gryphon insists is named Hymie. And stranger than that, she can't even say her own name. No, every time she tries to say the name, ‘Twilight Sparkle,’ it comes out as ‘Hymie.’ She can't say 'any pony,' or 'every pony.' She no longer has any magic beyond what a griffin normally has. And worst of all she has Gilda constantly harping on her to preen, learn to use her talons and how to fly!”
“Gilda?” Twilight asked.
“Don’t interrupt my story.” Heartbreak says, calming down a bit. “She suddenly has new appendages, but there’s a problem! The parts of her brain that are meant to control those appendages? They don’t work! She’s clumsy and walks funny. But at the same time she’s expected to eat, breath, and act like a gryphon!” She turned and looked squarely at Twilight. “And that’s what it is like for me everyday! Only my brain says that there are appendages where there are not! And it doesn’t help that my supposed teacher isn’t trying to help me! Or after one lesson with hooves comes to the conclusion that we need to hook me up like some test animal and poke and prod and what have to figure out what’s wrong with me!”
“Heart-” Twilight begin.
“And would it hurt just to call me, ‘H.B.’? I know you’re upset with me, Twilight, but seriously! That name gets on my nerves!” Heartbreak sniffs hard and rubs her face. “You want me to act like a pony, but you don’t even treat me like one most of the time.” She looked out the window. “I need more open space, some fresh air,” she paused. “I would even settle for some fetting grass under my...hooves.”
Twilight took in the critical view that Heartbreak had just dealt her. And then something sparked across her mind.
==============================================================
Damn it. I hope I’ve gotten across to Twilight already. I really do, ‘cause I don’t like being like this. Our whole spat has been one big disjointed mess where we have thrown around accusations, nearly resorted to name calling and have mangled up our feelings. And I don’t like feeling like this. It’s like someone has taken my emotions and put them through a spin wash. They are changing so suddenly, so abruptly. Pain, frustration, rage, fear: Those are all there. There was even some flickers of hope when I was telling that minor story.
Then I look at Twilight. She is still very upset over all this. Her mane is a little frazzled and there are little lines under her eyes. I hate talking to Twilight like this. I don’t want to talk to her like this. We’re so much alike that we could just be friends if the both of us gave it a shot. But the both of us keep saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Then her eyes snap open and there is a slight grin on her face. Crap. I think I broke Twilight.
“You’re right, H.B.,” Twilight says.
“I-I-I am?” I squeak out.
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W00t! New chapter!
1194840 Welcome to the broken hearts club.
"Hymie"?
1194871 Pronounced H-Eye-me.
1194871 Plus it was a great little segway that was brought up.
1194897
Actually I was just curious if that name was supposed to mean anything, since HB despises her name she tried to pick out a name Twilight might hate for the sake of her hypothetical.
Also it's "segue".
.1194928 You did read Heartbroken right? That's where the explanation behind the name happens. Or at least where she got the name.
1194944
All I remember is some fairy dork stealing her boring human name and forcing this one on her meaning to ridicule her. Now, having your actual named stripped from you and given a new one is degrading and horrifying enough but I just assumed that this one ( "Heartbreak" ) was meant to be especially humiliating. So I just thought that when HB was trying to give Twilight a walk in her...horseshoes via sarcastic analogy I thought that the name she picked out ( "Hymie" ) was supposed to hold some sort of significant quality she felt that Twilight would despise and I just wasn't seeing it.
I...may just be over-thinking things again.
1195075 This time... Noooo of course not...
H.B forgot to include -
"And the leader of the griffins will kill you if you don't meet some arbitrary goal that she hasn't explained properly, in under one year. After being scared by her to the point of nearly wetting yourself, and you still have nightmares about her, a month later."
Uh oh... HB's given Twilight an idea... It's never a good thing when you give the woman you're arguing with an idea. Ever.
No,
TwilightHymie! Don't try to explain anything to Gilda! It will lead her into a spinning vortex of insanity!1197003 Oh by the way Hymie, You have one year to learn how to be a gryphon. Or else we kill you. And we'll do it.
But Hymie! Why won't you eat this reindeer that we killed for you?
Seriously Hymie?
Is this story going anywhere anytime soon? I thoroughly enjoyed the last installments of this series, but I feel like absolutely nothing has really happened so far in this new story, just Twilight and HB getting even more pissed at one another.
You write well, but the plot feels as though it is developing very slowly here...
1198088 Twilight has come to the conclusion that HB is right. HB wants three things:
Open Space.
Fresh Air.
Grass under her hooves.
Where do you think twilight thinks she can get all those?
1199508
No, I get that. It just seems like things are dragging on a bit, that's all I'm trying to say.
1199888 *tries to pick up the pace then.* I don't want this to become a monty python skit.
1199906
Haha. Please don't take it as an insult, though, as I have really enjoyed reading your stuff. Keep it up sir
1199934 I shall endeavor to do my best! And my proofreader shall do the same!
YES!!!!
What the hell am I looking at....
Just what....
Conclusion: This story is designed to fuck with a specific reader's mind, so that they eventually go insane and
kill someone in rage after being dealt a blow to Vinyl's eye color.... How brilliant...
Then you put that problem in another box, deliver it into a keyboard, then into a fridge, then you get Freudian brilliance.
Hast thy made any sense to thou person?
1207162 I haven't a clue what you're talking about.
When Twilight said "for science!" I wanted H.B to reference Aperture Science.
HB is going to need to go under the machines at some point. That body was "renovated" by some..thing that claims to be a little girl that doesnt know the first thing about Ponies except what they look like. If HB is lucky, its just a matter of foal's motor skills in a adult body. If she isnt, there could be worse, hidden problems that a lack of a hoofy telekenetic field is just a minor symptom of...
Maybe if Spike explained it like he explained the anenomiter to a certain set of pegasus twins... 
1556565 SCIENCE!
4746590
th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/005/2/2/glados_vector_by_pixel5_exe-d4le9p5.png
Man here i was hoping Heartbreak would agree to be analyzed, think of the sicnece, what if chaos magic could be theorized as the complete field of string theory?!