Light in the Attic
Chapter Seven
Light in the Attic.
Before me are a few standard, non-breakable objects that Twilight has gathered. If it weren’t for the fact that I don’t know jack shit about balancing things on my hooves, I would feel that my intelligence was somehow being insulted here. There is a wooden block, a quill, a small ball of fluff and a marshmallow.
I glare at the marshmallow. “We aren’t imitating Rarity, are we, Twilight?” I ask.
“No,” Twilight replies. “I’ve decided to include some positive reinforcement. If you can balance one of these objects on your hoof, you get a marshmallow.” My eye twitches and I glare seethingly at Twilight.
“Uhm, is there a problem, Heartbreak?” she asks.
“Twilight, I want you to look at me.” I request, as my hoof goes to my face. “And look at yourself.”
Twilight looks at me and then at herself. “Exactly what am I looking for, Heartbreak?”
I twinge a bit. For some reason she is calling me Heartbreak and not H.B. That is going to make this five times more difficult. “H.B. if you would please, Twilight.” I take a deep breath. Try to not make this sound snide. “Right. I don’t look like a dog to you. Do I, Twilight?”
Twilight blinks. “No, you don’t.” She looks at Spike, who in all of this is once again, taking notes.
“Right, I don’t look like a dog, and you don’t look like Pavlov. So, please, don’t treat me like one...” I sigh. She most likely won’t get the reference.
Twilight frowns at me. A book levitates next to her. ‘A New Parent's Guide to Teaching your Foals.’ “I’m just going by what the book says, Heartbreak.”
I grind my hoof on the floor again and sigh. “Twilight, please.”
Twilight continues to give me a look of disapproval. “If we are going to do this, H.B., then you are going to have to meet me halfway.” The book goes back down on the table. “Besides, most ponies like marshmallows.”
“Yeah,” Spike interjects. “Don’t you like marshmallows, H.B.?”
Grimacing, I look at the marshmallow. The last time I had anything that was really sweet was back on the the train. “I like marshmallows just fine. I just think that doing these,” I pause and try to grasp for a word, “Exercises, should be a reward in of themselves. That’s all.”
“I’ve never taught anypony how to use their hooves before, H.B.” Twilight explains. “So I thought I would go by the book.”
“Of course you would.” Twilight shoots me a look. I feel my ears droop and the sensation that I am starting to push her a little too far. “Right. I am stalling with my complaining and I should be happy that you are willing to teach me at all.” I take a deep breath. I am trying to apologize, but the words aren’t coming. “How about we get on with this lesson, and work through it as we go along?”
Twilight shakes her head and picks the book back up. “Right, I guess we can skip through a few of these chapters. They are, after all, unimportant to what we are going to be trying to learn.”
“How about I just try to do what I think we’re going to do, Twilight?” I ask her.
“Alright, well then, the first thing to do would to be to assume the-” Twilight begins. I know her next words are going to be ‘position.’ And by position, I am certain that she means hooves in front of me with the frogs facing up, ready to have something placed on them. “position.” She blinks. “Uhm, very good! Now, we’re going to-”
“Twilight, I know I don’t have anyplace to be, but you really don’t have to go through these things, ‘play-by-play’. The next step would be placing something on the flat of my hooves and have me practice balancing something there.” Twilight is about to give me another look. “I mean, if that’s alright with you.” I reply looking slightly away. Fuck, my Fluttershy is showing.
“Right.” She nods and picks up the wooden block. It comes to gently rest on the bottoms of my hooves.
“This looks easy enough, just keep your hooves level and straight and something will stay there,” I tell myself. The magic dissipates from the wooden block and it comes to rest atop the bottom of my hooves. As the block sits there, I feel like laughing a bit. You know the feeling you get when you realize how simple a problem is? How silly you feel about how much a fuss you made over something that could be solved with either a bit of effort, time, or even just by adding the numbers up? That’s what I am feeling.
That feeling dies when I start to hear the wood clatter against my hooves. It clatters and slides a bit towards me, looking like it will fall off my hooves at anytime. I attempt to adjust my hooves but find it only makes the problem worse. The block finally falls off my hooves and onto the table. I snort.
“No need to get discouraged, H.B. Nopony expected you to get it the first time,” Twilight says, levitating the block back atop my hooves. “We just have to keep trying until we get it.”
Nodding, I attempt to let the wooden block rest on the top of my hooves again.
==============================================================
We started this exercise at two in the afternoon, and now it is five o’clock. Three hours later, the results are less than spectacular, and I am all the more frustrated.
First off, hooves shouldn’t work this way. At least when it comes to normal pony biology. But we are talking magical-talking-equine biology, so everything I know about normal ponies is tossed out the window. Secondly, magical-talking-equine hooves shouldn’t work this way. Every time Twilight has placed something on my hooves? It keeps falling off. It looks like it is going to stay there for just a little bit, but then, it starts to clatter against my hooves and falls off. Even the puffball flew off. Twilight isn’t looking terribly happy about this either. She picks up a cone and puts it on the flat of my hoof again. It stays there for a few seconds, and then begins to clatter before falling off once again.
“You have to keep your hoof steady,” she says, trying to sound sympathetic. It only comes off as irritating. She levitates the cone up to my hooves in preparation for another go.
“Enough!” I shout. I am trying my best not to cry. This task shouldn’t be that hard. It shouldn’t be this complicated. The law of gravity should just keep the object balanced evenly on the flat of my hoof!
Twilight frowns with a thought filled look. “You’re not going to get any better at this if we don’t keep practicing, Heartbreak.”
My eye twitches once again and I am about to turn and snarl at Twilight for calling me that name when Spike steps in. “Whoa!” Looking at him, I see that same look that Lyra gave me earlier today. Something akin to terrified, I turn away and stomp my hoof down. “Twilight, maybe we should take a break for a little while. We can always do more practicing tomorrow.”
Twilight sighs a bit and nods. “Maybe you’re right, Spike. This is going to take a lot more practice and effort than I thought.” She’s looking at me with either frustration, disappointment or disapproval. “If you need me, I’ll be upstairs in my study.”
I sigh after she has left. Spike puts a hand on my shoulder. I lift my hoof up where his hand rests. “I think she thinks I’m doing this on purpose, Spike.”
Spike shakes his head. “I know Twilight, H.B. She’s not thinking that.”
“Alright, I’m afraid that she’s thinking that,” I correct myself.
Spike rubs my shoulder. “I don’t think that you are doing this on purpose either, H.B.”
“That’s nice of you to say, Spike, but part of me is afraid that I might be, that I’m sabotaging all of this before we even get started.” I reply. Spike frowns at me and I sort of hug myself. “My mother said that it was one of my bad habits.”
Spike shakes his head. “I know you’re ‘sposta respect your parents and listen to what they say, but H.B.,” he looks me in the face. “Maybe you should stop listening to what your mother would have said about you. After all, you are at least willing to give things a try. And nopony can put you down for that.”
Damn it. Spike has a point. I’m just sulking in a pity-party. “You’re right, Spike. I think I’ll go do some drawing. At least I know how to do that.”
Spike’s expression perks up. “Would you like some tea?”
I almost smirk and chuckle. Almost. “Just as long as it isn’t the magical kind, then I would love some tea. Thank you, Spiker.”
==============================================================
From far away, two bright eyes peered through binoculars at the library window. Next to them hovered a notepad that was furiously writing notes.
“Well?” Asked the pale pony. “Can you see it?”
“If I hadn’t been watching for the past hour and a half, I wouldn’t believe it.” Lyra replied, lowering her binoculars. “She can’t use her hooves properly.”
“Which, according to my research, is one of the signs of what we are looking for!” Tail Spinner replied. His tone both hushed and excited.
“But what if we’re wrong? What if they were just playing a game of sorts?” Lyra asked.
“What pony plays a game of ‘balance the object on your hoof?’ Besides, you saw the book that Miss Twilight was holding, ‘A New Parent's Guide to Teaching your Foals?“ he lifted his pair of binoculars up again and peered through the window. The tan pony looked out the window, her mess of a mane tasseled about before she reached up and pulled the shutters closed with her mouth. A strange glimmer passed his eyes and he grinned an unnerving grin.
“That’s true.” Lyra paused and looked at the now closed window. “But what if-”
“What if you have found the first sign that humans actually lived in Equestria, Lyra?” he moved passed her in the bush. “What if this is the being that you are looking for? Think about what you can learn, think about what you can discover, and if you can get them to show you their true nature...” Lyra blinked at the questions for a moment, but that last thought held tantalizing possibilities. “Then you can show all those ponies who laughed at you..”
“Yeah, I can show them all.” she refocused her binoculars. “Show them all that I am not crazy!”
Tale Spinner nodded. “Exactly,” he started packing up. “I need to get back to my base in Manehatten, this observation has brought me new data that needs to be analyzed.” he put a hoof on Lyra’s shoulder. “As the head of the H.L.C. chapter here in Ponyville, I know that this,” he paused and reached for the right word, “Mission is in good hooves. I will keep in touch with you, Agent Heartstrings. Keep looking for the signs. And when the time is right, initiate first contact.” he said, leaving the bushes.
“Right!” Lyra smiled. First contact with humans, she couldn’t wait!
==============================================================
It’s about seven o’clock and my wrist is getting a little tired from practicing my drawing. I love this pencil that Pepper Pocket created for me. Not only can I easily switch between pencil and eraser, but the graphite seems to just come out without me pressing it.
Spike brought me more mint tea and put it in the special cup. I had to use my left hoof for that cup. It felt awkward at first, but old lefty got a good workout and before I knew it, I was sipping tea with one hoof and drawing with the other.
“What gives with that?” I think to myself. “I can get this cup to wrap around my hoof just fine, drink out of the glass just ok, but balancing something on the flat of my hoof and everything says, ‘No!’? It’s like the universe is purposely trying to fuck with me.”
I look around me. I am just noticing how dark it's getting. “Must have been wrapped up in drawing,” I mutter to myself. The drawings that sit before me aren’t masterpieces, they aren’t even as good as I used to be. But they are getting close to how I was on my worst days.
Amazing how sloppily drawn pictures of Twilight and Spike are making me feel slightly better about myself. Then my stomach grumbles at me and reminds me that it needs to be fed. I wonder what is for dinner. Looking around, I realize the lights aren’t on in the library right now. And not only am I realizing that it’s getting dark, but that I haven’t heard a peep from Spike or Twilight in the last hour.
I press the pressure button on my pencil. It makes a soft ‘zzzt!’ noise and loosens out of my hoof-hole. I pluck it out with my lips and place it into my open saddle bag. The light is quickly being consumed by the shadows and darkness. Back home that wouldn’t be a problem. But here in Equestria? Who knows what lurks in shadows. Oh, I’m sure that Twilight keeps a guard on the library, and I am sure that Ponyville has all sorts of spells, charms and incantations for safety placed on it. I mean, fuck, there are unicorns living here. Magic on demand.
But the quickly encroaching darkness is unnerving me. It really doesn’t help that as a child, I used to see faces in the darkness. My mind would latch onto images and like any child, make them into whatever it wanted to be. Doors and dartboards would grow and shrink on their own accord and I was always quickly tucked under my covers, just in case something in the closet or a vampire was lurking about.
I shake my mind of these things. “They aren’t real. They’re just in your head. You are a grown...adult...a man in your mind, despite the mare outer coating. You have nothing to fear,” I tell myself.
“Twilight?” I call out. “Spiiiiike?” I peer into the kitchen. Not a pony or a dragon there and it’s dark. I back away as a few strange shadows crawl on the floor. Looking up, I see that it is nothing more than the moonlight and some tree branches. I really should turn on a light. I walk around the lower floor a bit. “Twilight? Spike?” Part of me is starting to play this out like some horrible pony themed monster movie.
I attempt to shake the feeling off. Then I hear a creaking coming from upstairs that causes me to jump a little. “Of course. Twilight went upstairs after hoof lessons,” I tell myself. I climb up the stairs “Spiiiiike? Twilight?” But when I reach the top of the stairs, no answer. This is starting to freak me out a bit. Where could they be?! I look around the few upstairs rooms before making my way to the bedroom. “Spike? Twilight?”
Then I see a thin line of light from the ceiling above me. There is a pull string that drops some stairs that lead to the attic. Lucky for me, it is low enough for me to reach up and pull down with my mouth. Which is exactly what I am doing. The stairs clunk down, and carefully I start to climb up. I peer up into the attic. “Spike? Twilight?” I whisper.
I cautiously enter this place. The light appears to be coming from a small hanging lamp. And there isn’t anyone here. I take one final look around. That’s when I see a figure looming in the window. I notice a head turning in the window and I am met with two luminescent eyes. I nearly jump back to the door leading to the stairs, when the face goes ‘who’ at me. My panick lessens.
“Oh,” I chuckle, relieved at this sight. “That’s where you have been hiding Owl-”
But I don’t get to finish my sentence as Twilight’s pet owl’s face turns from mildly friendly, to downright scary. A horrible hiss escaped from the bird’s beak and he comes at me with talons splayed.
Everything happens so fast. A scream rushes from my throat. I jump back several feet. This results in me taking a tumble down the stairs and landing hard back on the floor below.
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that's got to hurt
Owloysius sees the fae marks all over HB. *sage nod*
Doors and dartboards?
1052168 Creeped me the fuck out when I was a kid. It was like they moved or some shit.
1052591 I'm wondering a bit who would give a kid darts in a place where they sleep. I can't count the times I almost hit my friend when we played darts.
Then again, maybe I just suck at darts.
1054574 Plastic tipped darts. It didn't have the sharp metal points.
If it's not one thing, It's another. Lyra, Lyra and an Owl who doesn't know you.
1054775 Nope. They don't know me.. That doesn't mean that they won't attack me.
Incidentally, going back and re-reading the first story in this set, I have to say: the Fae's decision seems to be a hilarious overreaction.
"A man with a bad love life has some failed relationships with people who are all coincidentally quasi-mythological creatures? Obviously we must BANISH HIM TO ANOTHER REALITY."
Couldn't have banished, say, Hitler or Stalin or Justin Bieber - someone who deserved it.
1055090 This is the Fae we're talking about. They overreact to Everything. Plus, this is the Queen of the Fae we're talking about. A slight for a slight, a tooth for the footh fairy, an eye for an island. Plus, Hitler and Stalin didn't love her. And Justin Bieber? Well. The Fae have rules about harming their own kind..
1055090 You know, the Great Court Of Heaven isn't gonna be happy when they find this out.
1055275
We are all utterly and completely doomed then.
3182082 Whooooooooooooooooooo!
1055090 *boops your nose*
This story makes me want to go skin a fae. Why have neither twilight or heartbreak figured out that she has "sorry" banned from her vocabulary?
5451449 The question is was it them that banned it or Celestia? Since it's been hinted at that she is the one blocking out her language and that her trying to say sorry feels the same as her saying the other banned words.
"When Equecidal Owls Attack 2"