Hitchhiker's Guide to the Apple Orchard
Chapter 19
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Apple Orchard.
“Hey, now!” Applejack said. She needed to approach this situation delicately. She reached forward and put a hoof on Heartbreak’s shoulder. “How about we just calm down? Ah’m just saying that it seems a bit early ta be jumping ta conclusions about this.”
Heartbreak tried to shrug Applejack’s hoof off her shoulder. “I know, but the evidence is starting to gather and I’m quite sure that the animals know about me,” She replied sadly, as tears started welling in her eyes. She sniffed hard. “I’m not a real pony.” Her head drooped down, “I know it and they know it.”
Applejack frowned. This was getting to be too much. Yes, this pony wasn’t a, ‘real,’ pony even by her own admission. Yes, she had really gotten Twilight upset enough to have her just drop her off in her lap unannounced. And yes, it did seem that the critters around here were picking up that there was something off about her. But darn it! Nopony had the right to be that sad and not be comforted.
Applejack put an arm around Heartbreak and a small hug. “Look here, Sugarcube. Ah get that yer guna have a hard time of this and all, but here’s sumthin’ ah want ya ta remember.” Heartbreak made a small gleeping noise in the side hug that Applejack was giving her. “We’re gonna be there for ya. All of us. And if ya let us, we’ll help ya. Alright?”
Heartbreak looked away and sniffed hard. Her hoof reached up and touched Applejack’s. “Alright, but I-” She began.
Applejack’s ears flicked behind her and she caught the rustling of something in her trees. Something pretty big. Then she swore she heard a small voice. “H.B., Ah hate to leave ya like this in a rather tender place, but ah just remembered that ah forgot to check on sumthin’.”
“That’s alright.” Heartbreak coughed a little and pushed Applejack’s hoof off her shoulder. “I’ve had my fill of pony hugs today.” Just then her stomach growled at her.
“Ah see,” Applejack replied. “How about sum apples then?”
“Applejack-” She started to protest.
Applejack turned and applied her hooves to a tree behind her. Five or six apples came toppling out of it. “They’re on the farm.” Heartbreak looked like she was fighting off the urge to laugh. “What is it there, H.B.?”
A snort came out of her struggle and she finally spoke. “Isn’t it the student that is meant to give the teacher apples?”
Applejack blinked and chuckled. Somewhere there was a good pony, or a good whatever the hay Heartbreak was on the inside. “We’ll see about that later, ya just have a sit here and help yerself. Ah’ll be right back.”
Heartbreak lay down on the ground in the orchard and nodded. “Alright. I’ll be waiting.”
==============================================================
Lyra took out her binoculars and looked at Heartbreak again. The pony was really distraught and looked on the verge of tears. She sat in a tree that was near the entrance of the orchard part itself, but was far enough away that if her invisibility spell failed, she wouldn’t be spotted. At least she hoped she wouldn’t be spotted.
There would be no telling what Heartbreak would do if she was really a werepony. Did they have strange powers? A monstrous half-pony, half-human form? Could they use strange magics? She would have to consult the file that Tale Spinner had given her.
“However, there is one of the signs. Animals are afraid of her.” Thus far, a good number of the things that she had seen in the simmed report fit. She pulled the folder out of her saddle bags quietly. “Difficulty with hooves, sits oddly, speech impediments, strange body altercations that are difficult to explain, and a pensive reclusive nature. These are all good hints and clues to what she really is!” She put the folder back in her saddlebag and lifted her binoculars back up.
Heartbreak was sitting alone now, munching on some apples that were on the ground. She didn’t seem to like the fact that they were on the ground, but kept reluctantly eating them. She didn’t pick them up with her hoof like other ponies did. Instead she curled her hoof around them, brought them to her mouth and then took a bite. Despite the difficulty she seemed to very much enjoy the apples.
“Wait a second,” Lyra thought. “Where’s Applejack?” Just then, she felt a horrible jarring and the cracking noise of hooves hitting an apple tree. The apple tree that she was in! She attempted to grasp for a limb but found herself falling out of the tree. As the ground caught up with her, her invisibility spell failed and she found herself at the hooves of a rather unhappy looking Applejack.
“Well, well, well,” Applejack said, looking down at the seafoam unicorn. “Aren’t you a funny looking apple.”
“Ooh, hi Applejack!” Lyra squeaked out. “Fancy meeting you here!”
“Oh, fancy indeed, Miss Heartstrings. Seeing it’s ma orcharch and all?” Applejack asked.
“Uhm, yeah, fancy that,” Lyra said, in a small voice.
“Miss Heartstrings, what in tarnation are ya doing here?” Applejack asked.
“Well, I’m just, uhm bird watching!” Lyra replied, gasping for straws.
“Bird watching, right. Ya know the last time ah caught ya here on ma farm, ya were trailing ma sister an’ her friends. And the time before that ya were doing the same to Big Mac.” As Applejack got up in Lyra’s face, she started backing away from the orchard. “An’ now ah’m finding ya here with yar binoculars up in ma trees. Seems ta me that yer spying on a new pony. A pony that, according ta Twilight, ya had some problems with. Ya know how bad this looks here, Lyra?” Applejack asked.
"How did you even know I was here?" Lyra winched at the mention of her escapades. “Uhm, pretty bad?”
Applejack came face to face with Lyra. “Ya don't think ah don't know ma own orchard ta know when sumthin's lurking around in ma apple trees? And yes, this situation looks bad enough that if ah don’t see you leaving this here farm in the next minute, ah’m gonna have to call ya in for trespassing.”
Lyra looked terrified. “I-I just wanted to know more about her and see if I could try to be friends with her!”
“There are better ways of goin’ about that, Miss Heartstrings. And ah’m no good with math, but ah reckon that ya have less than thirty seconds to clear yarself off ma farm.” Applejack threatened.
“Alright! Alright! Eeesh!” Lyra stood up and turned to go.
“And if Ah catch ya back here, ‘bird-watching,’ ah’m not going to be so kind as ta give ya a warning!” Applejack said, growling.
Lyra backed away slowly but then turned and ran. She let out a long sigh. “Great, now how am I going to study my subject?”
==============================================================
I have to admit it. Equestria apples are the best apples I have ever tasted. Different apples taste differently and everyone has their preference. My favorites include golden delicious and those apples that have the veins of red streaking through their flesh. I am not an apple expert here. I just know what tastes good and what I like. I like soft apples rather than crunchy apples. Sweet apples rather than sour ones. Which is weird due to the fact that I like sour apple candies. Go figure, right?
I pull another apple to me using the pony-wrist-grasp-action and take another bite. Damn it, I might misbehave just so that I can have more apples!
“Ah’m back!” Applejack says, trotting up to me.
“That was quick,” I reply though a mouth full of apple.
“Enjoying yerself?” she asks me.
I chew some more and swallow. “As much as I can, it would be nice to have some,” damn it. Don’t go there, you don’t need to say it. Fuck, because you said something she’s going to ask about it.
“Some?” Applejack asks me.
“I was going to say ‘music’ but...” I grumble and pull another apple to me. Stupid birds.
“Say, ya said that ya could explain that, ‘from another world,’ thing here in the orchard earlier. Mind giving that a shot?”
She’s purposely changing the subject. I’m ok with this. I don’t want to think about...what I don’t want to think about! Right, not thinking about it! “I’ll try, I’ll try to use as few fancy terms as I can.”
“Hey, use as many of those fancy terms as ya want, ah’m sure that ah can keep up.” Applejack says proudly.
“Right,” I fight the urge to roll my eyes, “How about I just explain it like it is in my head. Alright?”
“Alright,” Applejack replies.
“Alright, see that apple that is just above your head?” I motion up.
She looks up and nods. “What about it?”
“Imagine if you will, that that apple is a whole world. Just one whole world to itself. And on the surface of that apple are little things living on it. We’re going to pretend that that apple right above you is Equestria. The whole of Equestria and the whole of the world that Equestria is a part of.” I explain.
“Ah’ll right, following ya so far,” Applejack replied, nodding a bit.
I think about how I am going to tell her this. “Now, that apple looks slightly different from all the other apples on the tree. Granted that they are all apples, but no two apples are the same right? Some are green, some are red, and some are yellow. Do you get what I am saying?”
Applejack blinks. “Yeah! So...let me see if ah get where yer going with this.” she lifts a hoof and points to our Equestria apple. “Equestria is like there apple, and yer world is like maybe the one next to it?”
“In a way, yes. Though it’s more like my world is in another tree, on the other side of the orchard and a whole other variety of apple altogether,” I explain.
“Huh, well when ya put it like that,” she blinks, “It makes a lot more sense.”
“I would expand on that idea of, ‘the universe is like an apple,’ but going any farther would make the comparison between the two a far stretch.” That actually went a lot better than I thought. I finish up the apple in front of me. “So what to next?” I ask.
“Next we see if ya can learn how ta buck apple trees.” That sentence would be the sweetest thing in the world. It would be, was it not for the fact that buck sounds too much like fuck.
Stats
Page generated in 0.041 seconds
Total duration
673 users online
1,013,624 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Buck some apples, fuck some apples. It's all the same thing... actually in equestria it isn't... best not mix those two up HB. Although who knows Big Mac might just take a fancy to you, if that happens run
........ Wow. Lyra got whipped. Metaphorically I mean.
Excellent as always. I'm rather irritated with Twilight from the previous chapters, and I am liking Applejack quite a bit. Can't wait to see how things get messed up
1254783 I can see the twist now. Nothing goes wrong and HB gets a red marble
1254788 *twaps you*
1254834 Don't tell me I got it right
1255004 You didn't get it right. You have no idea how this ends.
1255039 I would if you let me pre-read
I'm really liking this arc, finally some form of peace for Anthony. No Twilight fighting with him/her, Someone besides Spike to have a nice talk with, I would say things are looking up all in all. Sure the animal thing will really come and bite him/her on the ass when Fluttershy's turn comes around, but for now it's all good.
Until you decide to throw a monkey wrench into it.
1255213 ONWARD MY ARMY OF WRENCH THROWING MONKEYS!
It's nice to read some relief. Whew. I was getting feelings like those ones I get from "This Ain't No Picnic" (A Minutemen song) In recent chapters; That's all conveyed well.
If I don't say much, Know I'm a person who doesn't have much confidence in his words. (I'm a Metal Sheep, According to Chinese Horoscopes.)
The apple analogy made me think of this for some reason:
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0dyxluiKk1r5tr09o1_1280.png
1256829 And then .Mov got connected with Heartbreak.
1256942
HAHA! Exactly.
1257307 Course... Heartbreak .mov is a bigger nightmare than normal Heartbreak. What with the ripping of actual hearts out of ponies chests and sacrifice to the sun gods. This of course is followed by horrendous things...
This is so much fun to read during math class.
I am loving the story, even though gb isn't my cup of tea, I don't like tea so this is an enjoyable difference. I will continue to read this!
Oh man, I'd forgotten about Lyra. Still the creepy stalker that fandom has always portrayed her to be.
Applejack actually seems to get concepts pretty well, whereas Twilight gets bogged down in trying to understand irrelevant details.
And that last line :D
One more thing- back in chapter 13, after being woken up by Twi and H.B arguing, Spike yells, "“Hey! Could you both keep it down!? Some ponies are trying to sleep up here!”.
Wouldn't that be some people?
1272328 eeeenope.
...
It is clear to me that this is going to hell in a handbasket somewhere along the way
The TENSION, the SUSPENSE! In other words gentlemen, expect a heavy beatdown from Applejack on HB here.
Then inevitably, someone is going to buck up and ruin this whol
scene. HB is certain to be thrashed emotionally, and not for the better
So here I say, let the emotional drama commence!
BEGIN!!!
was experimenting a little bit with a different graphic programm... it didn't work out so well...
img6.imagebanana.com/img/qb3lhozx/outfit.png
but i really like the general design of that outfit... i have to redo that eventually...
1281322 D: How did you get HB in a dress!?
1281322 It appears that Rarity has been drawing HB in dresses. HB is not pleased...
1254777
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRdCnpUIVIT6BemSo8IeiWjfAkeLhGJFLY9wJjk0yC0S_QIUSsqpO_REZAd
P.S. I despise applejack
Don't know if it's been said,
but in this sentence: "I have to admit it. Equestria apples are the best apples I have ever tasted."
Shouldn't Equestria be the possessive Equestian?
1907357 Hmmm good point one of these days...
1435200 Whoa, hey now sugarcube. What brought this on?
Yeah sorry these trees aren’t my type.