Of Mice and Mares
Chapter 32
Of Mice and Mares.
Once we get out of the house I can feel my face twitch. “Applejack?”
“Somethin’ the matter?” She asks.
“Yeah, please don’t ever say those words again.” I feel my stomach turn a little. Not as much as when she was suggesting that I was trying something with her brother, but still.
“Uhm, what words and why?” She asks. I pause as we walk away from the house and towards what appears to be a smoldering fire pit. “Well? What words?”
“Right, I should tell you what words,” I mutter, unnerved.
“That would be mighty helpful,” she replies, still walking.
I dash to catch up with her. “Uhm, well. Uhm, ‘girl on girl time.’”
“Huh? Why? What’s wrong with that?” She asks me. “That’s what we’re doing, sitting an’ talking and sharing some girl on girl time.”
“Where I’m from, it means something else. Something a bit...wrong,” I reply.
“Wrong? How in tarnation could that be wrong?” She asks me as we get to the pit.
“Geeze, for somep-p-pony that knows what hanky-panky means, you are sure clueless about this,” I reply, sitting on a nearby log.
Applejack blinks and looks a bit mortified for a second. “Wait, ya don’t mean-”
“Just figuring it now, A.J.?” I hate to admit this, but there is a tiny part of me that is enjoying this a little too much. Even more so when I see Applejack’s squicked out face. “You see how that can make me feel uncomfortable, right?”
She frowns at me. “How’s about we change the subject?”
“I would like that, thank you,” I reply.
Near one of the logs there are small bundles of what look to be, ‘starter bundles,’: small dry twigs and shavings of various wood. She tosses it into the fire pit. She then picks up a brown paper bag and looks inside it. “Well shoot, looks like ah got ta get me some more birch bark.”
“For fire starting?” I ask. “After all nothing starts any fire quicker than birch bark.”
“Uhm, yeah,” She gives me an odd look. “Ya know a lot about starting fires?”
“I went camping and we used to have outdoor fires when I was a-” I want to say, ‘kid.’ After all, they have said it before on the show. But I can already feel the word, ‘filly,’ forming in my mouth. “When I was young.” Applejack doesn’t respond but is busy blowing on the tinder pile to get the coals hot enough. Before long there is the sweet smell of charing birch bark followed by the foosh of a flame. She then proceeds to pull out some marshmallow skewers. I am sure all of this preparation is meant to be part of, ‘bonding time with H.B.,’ but the suspense on what she wants to talk about is starting to get to me. Looking around, I take note of the dead quiet that seems to permeate everything. “So!” I look at her seriously. “What do you want to talk to me about?”
She looks up at me. “Ya want ta get ta the heart of the matter eh?” Her ankle is wrapped in the best way that I can guess that any single hooved creature can use to hold thin metal skewers. Adorning these are the marshmallows, three to a skewer. Apparently she put them on while I was distracted.
“How did you-” I begin. However if I try to understand pony physics and the like, the both of us will be here all night. And really, I would like to get some sleep tonight. “Never mind. Yes, I would like to get to the-” my face droops. “Heart of the matter? Ha-ha. Really funny,” I remark, rubbing my face.
“Uhm, heh. Ah didn’t mean ta-” she starts. I just roll my eye and sigh before waving my hoof dismissively. “Uhm, right. Gettin’ ta the real reason ah brought ya out here.” Here it comes. A lecture, a talking to about something, I bet she didn’t like the fact that I had her help me lie to her cousin about things. “Ah think ya showed some real progress taday with ma cousin.”
I really need to stop assuming bad things about these ponies. Looking down, I rub my hoof against my ankle. “I see a lot of myself in him when I was younger. He’s easy to relate to and seems to go on about some rather interesting topics.”
“Ah’m glad ya feel that way about him.” Uh-oh. That feels like a windup for something. “Cause, ah was wondering if ya could take him ta some event here in Ponyville that he’s wantin’ ta go to.”
I look at her questioningly. “You want me to take your cousin out somewhere?”
“It’s some sort’a club like event that he’s inta an’ ah was wondering if ya could.” Again, this isn’t really sinking in. “However.”
There we go, there’s the catch to all this. The strings that are attached. “However?” I ask.
“However, Ah’m not sure I still trust ya quite yet,” she says, putting the marshmallows near the fire.
I roll my eyes and sigh. “I can guess why too.” I look up at her. “Was it because I had you help me lie to your cousin about my, ‘condition?’”
“There’s that, but it’s not just that one little cover up. Ah had to tell a lie ta Big Mac regarding how ya knew about his doll.” She looks at me seriously. “Not ta mention all the little lies that ya have been spouting out here.”
I feel a little cornered and slightly insulted by what she is insinuating. “I didn’t have a cover story when I came here, Applejack.” I force myself to sound as neutral as possible.
She doesn’t look at me but continues to toast the marshmallows. “That might be something ya might want ta think about. After all, ponies are going to be curious about those things. Where yer’ from, what ya do, how ya got yer cutie mark, who yer family is-”
Each point by point thing feels kinda like a dagger in my heart. Little reminders about what each implies. “A.J. please!”
She looks up at me. “Ah’m just trying ta help. If ya don’t think about these things and make them up on the fly, yer just gonna tangle yerself up in a web of lies.”
“Fine, I’ll give it some thought.” I roll my eyes. “Now what does this have to do with me taking your cousin out somewhere?”
“Well, that all boils down to the whole, ‘trust,’ issue.” She pulls one of the marshmallows off the skewer and munches it happily. “How can ah trust a pony that ah know nothin’ about? At least nothin’ that is actually true.” I open my mouth to speak but she puts up a hoof before chewing and swallowing her marshmallow. “Ah know that there are a good number of things that you’ve said that are true but there are things that ah can tell are just outright lies. And call me old fashioned, but that just ain’t the way to build trust.”
I try to think about how to approach this. It’s too easy for me to fall into the trap of being snide and angsty, and I don’t want to do that. There is a part of me that wants to just say something horribly bitter, but another part that is fighting against it. After all, Applejack has a point and these are things that are bothering me. If I am going to build a life, I can’t build it on lies. That’s when I feel something rather unpleasant. My flank feels like it is writhing, almost burning.
“Ya alright there, sugarcube?” She asks. I must not be able to hide my feelings too well in all this.
“I’m just fine, A.J.” Darn it, if I just stop there and don’t explain anything, she’s going to give me a talk about being honest again. “It’s just the mark. It’s not a real cutie mark. It’s a branding. It still hurts sometimes. And I don’t want it looked at because ...” quick come up with something plausible. “I don’t like doctors and I don’t think Twilight should be messing around with it.” Yes! That sounds good!
She offers me a toasted marshmallow. “Well, alright then. Look, ah ain’t askin’ ya ta tell me everythin’, but there are three things that have been botherin’ me. Give me answers to these three things, an’ ya’ll have trust enough fer me ta let ya go out inta Ponyville,” she looks up at me, “Unsupervised.”
==============================================================
Applejack waggled the marshmallow at Heartbreak. She was a stubborn one and this whole conversation felt rather forced and overall was just plain awkward. She sat to the right of Applejack with a, ‘are you serious?’ look on her face.
“Really A.J.,” She started. “This feels like you’re treating me like a f-f-filly. I’m an adult, and I should be able to go wherever I want to without supervision.”
“Yer an adult who’s been through a seriously messed up situation,” Applejack replied. “An’ ya have a bad habit of actin’ like a filly. Now, ah want an answer and all ah’m just askin’ fer some clarification on three things.” Applejack looked at Heartbreak. “Will ya give me that?”
Heartbreak’s face twitched a little and she looked down. “I’m not sure I’m ready.”
“Alright, I can understand that,” Applejack replied. “Dern it! Not even marshmallers will get her ta open up. Maybe it’s time ta bring out the big guns in all this...” Applejack pulled out her bag of graham crackers and chocolate bars. Heartbreak’s eyes almost instantly shot to the bag and went wide.
“Is that chocolate?” she asked.
“Bingo,” Applejack smiled. “Eeyup. And graham crackers.” She looked up at Heartbreak. “Do they got s'mores where yer from?”
“Actually, uhm, yes. Yes they do,” She replied.
“Huh, s’mores must be one of them common things among all the apples, eh?” Applejack asked, nudging at the inside joke. She then started to put a s’more together. Heartbreak looked like she was trying to fight the urge to watch her.
“Y-y-yes, I guess they are,” She replied, her hooves wagging on the ground.
Applejack took a bite of her creation and then gobbled up the rest. “Ya know,” she said through the gooey, chocolatey, crunchy mess, “Ah could make ya one.” She then swallowed. “If ya were ta go along with this whole thing.”
Heartbreak’s eye twitched and she glared at Applejack. “Applejack! Seriously? You’re resorting to bribing me with,” she paused as Applejack licked a bit of melted chocolate off her hoof, “S’mores?!”
Applejack looked over at the tan little pony. “Is it working?”
Heartbreak pulled back and bit her lip. She proceeded to grimace and opened her mouth as to say something before looking like she was about to screech. Finally her face drooped down and she glared at Applejack. “Yes,” she muttered quietly.
“Then do we have a deal here?” Applejack asked, putting out her hoof for a shake.
She looked away ashamed of herself. “Yes, but I feel the need to warn you. The truth isn’t always a beautiful thing, A.J.” Heartbreak returned the shake. “I can’t believe I’m caving for a s’more. You know this will only work once right?”
“Ah don’t expect ah’ll get away with this again. So, let’s start with the graham cracker,” Applejack said. “First thing that has been bugging me. When ya say, ‘fet,’ or ‘fetlocks,’ ya aren’t really trying ta say what ya told ma brother are ya?”
Heartbreak looked down and thought about it. “You already know that my language was altered, that’s just a side effect of not being able to use actual profanity.”
Applejack blinked. “Yer tryin’ ta use profanity?”
Heartbreak looked at her frowning. “That counts as a question you know. But, where I’m from, it isn’t really a big thing. I mean you’re told not to use it in front of f-f-foals, but really, they’re just words.”
Applejack nodded. “That’s-” she paused. Swearin’ and cussin’ weren’t promoted and generally frowned upon here as well. But there was a look of fear on Heartbreak’s face. Fear of being judged again. “-Different. Let’s move ta the marshmaller.”
“A question for Rarity,” Heartbreak interjected.
“Huh? Oh! Yeah...heh, just don’t let her hear that. Right, next question. There is at least some truth in the things ya tell us, right?” She asked.
“That seems like a rather soft question compared to the first one, Applejack. But technically, if you were to think about it, there is a bit of truth there. But,” she looked thoughtful, “I have had to,” she paused, looking for the words, “Colour it for everyp-p-pony else. So there is truth there. Technically speaking that is.”
“Alright. Ah can live with that answer.” Applejack narrowed her eyes at Heartbreak. “Fer now. Technically don’t cover a lot of things. But let’s move to the final question. Fer the chocolate.”
“Alright,” Heartbreak said. “Do your worst.”
“Why were ya droolin’ over ma pigs?” Applejack asked.
Suddenly Heartbreaks’ face drooped and she started to fidget. “Right...that, uhm well...” she traced her hoof on the ground. She opened her mouth and raised a hoof only to close it. She then opened again. “Look uhm... it’s like...right...” She said, continuing to fidget. Then a spark went off in her eyes. “Right, I’ll tell you but I need some brown paper bags.”
“Brown paper bags?” Applejack asked.
“Just humor me.” Heartbreak looked at Applejack rather desperately. “Please? And could you please put them over my hooves?”
Applejack frowned. She took the two bags that once held the birch bark and the graham crackers and placed them over Heartbreak’s hooves. The two bags kind of danced and twitched around. Heartbreak frowned and then started biting and shaping them a bit with her mouth.
“Hey now! I’m going ta need at least one of them bags back!” Applejack said.
“I’m being careful...” Once done the two bags now looked more like vague animal shapes. “Right, this is a story about a cat.”
“Beg yer pardon?” Applejack asked.
“Look you said that you would humor me, right? And this is the best way that I can think of explaining the answer to your question, alright?!” Heartbreak said, almost shouting.
Applejack looked at her questioningly. “Alright, continue on then.”
Heartbreak made the cat-shaped bag dance about. “Right, once there was this cat, and he was a great mouser. He lived on a farm and protected his barn quite well. He was strong and fierce. With a tabby coat and sharp claws, he made sure that his farmer’s grain was always safe.”
Applejack pulled the marshmallows away from the fire. They were nicely roasted now.
“Well, one day a wild cat looking to expand his territory, tried coming into the barn to stake his claim over it. Well our cat, let’s call him Tom...no...Jerry? Dang it...Albert! Yes. Albert.”
“Albert’s the name of the wild cat?” Applejack asked, confused.
“No, Albert is the name of the barn cat,” Heartbreak corrected. “Right, Albert wasn’t going to have any of this. The two of them got into a horrible fight, a fight that Albert was able to win, but just barely. The wild cat ran away and vowed to come back another day. Leaving Albert to lick his wounds. A few weeks passed and Albert was sitting atop his barn, watching for that ferocious wild cat. Little did Albert know, the wild cat was a bit more stealthy than he, and he slipped right into the barn and started nosing around-”
“Ah hate ta interrupt this yarn, ‘cause it is a pretty decent story, but what does this have ta do with-” Applejack started.
“I’m getting to it!” Heartbreak exclaimed. “Now, the wild cat was snooping around looking for any tasty mice upon which to pounce. He looked high and low and didn’t see anything. But just as he was about to give up, he spotted a plump juicy little mouse in the far corner of the barn. The wild cat silently crept up near the unsuspecting mouse, getting closer, and closer and closer still. His haunches wiggled as he waited for the right moment. And just as he was about to strike!” Heartbreak paused for a dramatic effect. “Albert came in and tackled the wild cat! The two of them once again went into a flurry of fur, fangs, claws and blood! Once again, Albert was able to throw the wild cat of out his barn and save the day.” Heartbreak looked around. “That would be the end of the story, had it not been for our mouse. You see, that wasn’t any ordinary mouse. No, it was the Queen of the Mice that Albert had just inadvertently saved. And she was very grateful. So grateful that she wanted to thank Albert. So every night she would offer a mouse up as a sacrifice to the cat god!”
Applejack looked horrified. “Wha-She did?!”
Heartbreak snirked. “Of course not Applejack, that would be a terrible story. No, she wanted to thank him appropriately. But cats don’t understand the language of mice you see. However, the Queen of the Mice, being who she was could easily fix that. So one night she gathered her small kingdom of mice and lead them to Albert’s barn. There, sleeping on his bed of hay and straw was the great hero, Albert the Cat. The Queen made a long winded speech about the heroics of this cat before walking up to the sleeping predator. She then caressed his chin in a tender way and planted a kiss upon his nose.”
Applejack hated to admit it, but she was starting to really get into this story. Something about the firelight, the smoke and the warm smell of marshmallows really added to the atmosphere.
“And that’s when he woke up. The mice in the room all went quiet. For while Albert was a great hero, he was also a great mouser. He looked around sleepily and saw a throng of mice all in his barn! His stomach growled at him, demanding to be fed! Almost instantly, all the mice in the room started to scatter! Left, right, up walls, down drain pipes! Every which way that was away from the hungry cat! Albert took one look at all of this and almost instantly pounced on a nearby mouse. His fangs glistened to make the kill. But just as he was about to strike, he heard a tiny voice.”
Heartbreak made the other puppet that was vaguely mouse shaped hop around. “‘Oh please great Albert! Don’t kill me! I have a wife and children!’” The little puppet shook on Heartbreak’s hoof. “Albert was shocked by the fact that a mouse had just spoken to him! Foodstuffs aren’t meant to talk! The mouse was able to get away. Albert, still hungry tried to pounce another mouse. But once again he heard the horrific cries of that mouse! That one too got away! He kept trying and trying but every time he kept hearing the horrific screams of the little mice! Soon all the mice were gone. All but one. The Queen of the Mice.
'Oh Great Hero of Mice! I wish to thank you for saving my life!’ She said, bowing to him. Albert for once in his life stopped and listened to the mouse in front of him. ‘What have you done to me?’ he asked. ‘I have given you the ability to understand our language. You see I wanted to thank you face to face. Is it not a wonderful gift?’ she asked him. Albert yowled and cried. ‘No it is not a wonderful gift! Take it back! I don’t want to understand what my food is saying! The cries of the mice will drive me to madness! I won’t be able to kill any more mice for my farmer and I won’t be able to protect his grain! Please take it back!’ The Queen looked at him. ‘Alas, my dear hero, I can not take this gift back. But, I can ease your suffering if you allow me to.’ Albert yowled and clawed at his head. ‘Anything! Anything please!’ And so the Queen gave him another kiss, and Albert the cat-” Heartbreak altered the cat puppet. “Became Albert the mouse.” Heartbreak paused. “Now I would like to say, ‘They lived happily ever after, but this was not the case. You see, Albert still had...cravings. Cravings that he could curb. Looking at his fellow mice, he would drool and think back to the time when he could eat their tasty, tasty flesh, and the mice around him would get a little skittish around Albert. Especially every time he would stalk bugs and pounce them like a cat. The End.”
Applejack looked a little disturbed and perplexed by the story. “Ah’m not sure ah get what yer tryin’ ta say with this story there, H.B.”
Heartbreak threw her hooves down in frustration. “Come on, A.J.! This isn’t that hard! I practically told you in the story!”
Applejack blinked. “You were a cat?” She asked.
“Uhm...no, right. Let me put it an easier way. Think about a nice crisp warm apple pie sitting on the window sill to cool, and you’re really hungry. It’s aroma wafting into your nose. You mouth is watering, right?” Heartbreak asked.
“Right,” Applejack replied. Heartbreak looked at her hopeful that this attempt conveyed the proper meaning. Suddenly Applejack’s flickered with a rather unpleasant thought. “W-w-where yer from they eat pigs? They eat meat?”
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Bacon
1731912
1731924 puu.sh/1wiSa
Nightmare Knows, All The Things
"I have probably consumed more living creatures than you have ever met. Now, about hanging out alone with your cousin..."
Bacon
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/136/232/incoming%20shitstorm.jpg
1731912 [youtube=QKbypiJosSY]
Also the shocking revelation that humans are omnivorous, over shadowed that amazing story H.B. told. I liked the story alot, and think it would make a great story for kids. It was also just dark enough to make me enjoy it.
1732055 puu.sh/1n4f2
Aww! And just when it was getting interesting!
1732198 Blame HB for talking too much.
It's going to be fun dancing around the limits the Nine put on her to try to explain it.
But, easily enough: "I can't say what I was, the Nine won't let me. But. Lyra's been surmised to be crazy about them."
"Whut? Them shaved sasquatches she's always goin' on about?"
1732439 NEVER!
1732491
Awww...
Still fun tho'.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
This is going to get... interesting.
Ah, it's glad to have the omnivorous nature finally out in the open. Applejack's pretty good at sussing out the truth.
Now if only they could wrangle out gender, there'd be nothing left to hide.
Mmmmmmmm meat.
Tasty tasty murder.
1731912 That comment goes perfectly with your avatar. Just saying.
Poor AJ asked for it. HB also answered some follow up questions in her story. Such as if she'd ever try eating meat as pony
You should find a site for original stories and put that little snippet about Albert up there, because it actually works well enough as a childrens story on its own.
This is one of the things I been looking forward to the most, second only to "YOU USED TO BE A GUY!?"
I'm not asking you to rush anything, but please don't take too long with the next chapter?
"I know, you're probably - "
"Huh?"
Yeah Bacon!!!
Yeah it's a hard truth AJ but it's not really our fault that we evolved to be omnivorous, and also the animals here aren't even sentient, so they can't think for themselves but after now being a pony I don't think that H.B. will ever eat meat again.
Kind of an odd way for H.B. to explain it but it was still good!
"Swearin'"? "Cussin'"? Did we switch narrators when I wasn't looking or am I just that freaking stupid?
1737806 Our normal narrater was out to lunch. His redneck cousin was doing the reading.
And that mares and gentlecolts, is a CLIFFHANGER. Can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm just not going to say anything regarding this chapter for fear of our writer getting the wrong impression or worse the right one about what I am trying to say.
*Headdesks*
I get that this Equestria seems to be based on all the most common bits of fannon (Dentist Colgate, Human lover Lyra, etc.) But the 'ponies are afraid of meat-eating people' cliche?
Gryphons are a thing in Equestria people, come on...
Someone should really take HB camping, maybe she'd feel a bit better?
9854349
Fondest memories were when when I was young and camping with the family....