LET'S GET TO WORK EYEBALLS, READ THIS. Well that was interesting, now I don't want to execute the Princesses but instead seal them away forever, with their horns broken off, their wings cut off, and a steel plated 1 ton chastity belt placed upon their crotch areas. Disgusting, vile creatures!
Also, why would people hate this chapter? it shows lesser beings (Earth POnies) being raped and killed like they should! Also nice work with the Ukrainian.
That was some truly awful stuff. Nice work. I really liked the way you treated the gore. The vivid descriptions from the victims' points of view was an excellent touch and added weight to the carnage where weight isn't often added. I always find the idea of extreme bodily harm without pain to be morbidly fascinating.
Incidentally, I've thought a bit more about that last chapter, and what was bothering me about it was that Blueblood didn't seem as sadistic. Rather he tended to give himself over to carnal impulses, which are, interestingly, something over which he seemed to exert a lot of focused control in other chapters, so as to more effectively break his victims. After all, that's clearly what he enjoys. I think that personally, I prefer the side of the libertines that focuses more on their cruelty and acute sadism. And this chapter seemed to focus more on that aspect of the Princesses, which I liked.
The Odd Jobs crossover was absolutely brilliant, by the way. Perfect.
Oh, and one other thing I noticed: "Thyselves" is an interesting oxymoron in that "thy" is singular, but "selves" is plural. ("Yourselves" would be the appropriate reflexive.)
Again, very nice work. I can't wait for you to get to the Rainbow chapter. I've been looking forward to that one.
I am intrigued by how "Lyra and Bon-Bon's Odd Jobs" would play out in this universe. You are clearly putting effort and actual research into this thing. This story is a disgusting and horrid work of art. I feel absolutely no shame having it in my favorites list.
1390900 Before said "Feast" my penis had never been confused. After that chapter my penis vomited, I mean it ACTUALLY vomited. The poor guy was extreamly confused, as was I....Great work though, I look forward to more
Well. That was rather entertaining (at least it was at 1 in the morning). I find it amusing yet disturbing how Celestia and Luna take a pair of mares, slit their throats, take a bath in their blood, and just start masturbating. But, like, whatevs. Oh, God... My mind is so fucked up right now... I'm going to bed. See ya later. i.imgur.com/T7iUn.gif Fuck it in the ass. ... ..... ....... ..... ... (But secretly I liked it)
1392018 1393662 Thanks for the feedback. I wasn't sure if including a Lyra and Bon Bon Odd Jobs reference would feel out of place, but I think I can make it work.
If I were to kill them off in a future chapter, it would be the most tragic thing I've ever written. I don't know if I could go through with them dying. They may have to escape.
1393922 I feel like not killing them would be sort of jumping the shark--as you talked about in your blog post--in that this is a story about the breaking and torment of characters. Definitively so, I'd say. If they survived, it would feel awkward compared to the other chapters, which convey such an atmosphere of grim hopelessness and absolute misery. If you were to do something beyond a one-scene reference (which I originally assumed you were going for, with their fate simply implied) I'd personally recommend killing them off. And that would be an incredible chapter. It could even top The Witch (my personal favorite) if you did it right. Anyway, I've very much enjoyed seeing this story develop and change as it has. Keep up the good work!
And you still have plans to do an alternate Rarity chapter, yes?
1393990 I debated with myself if Lyra would agree to take the job at the castle, or if she would have a bad feeling about the whole thing and suggest that the two of them skip town instead. I personally think that taking the job definitely added more punch to the story and felt more in line with the universe.
I don't know if I have the stones to kill Lyra and Bon Bon off in their own chapter. I had originally planned to just throw them in as a one-scene reference, and I may end up sticking with that plan.
This story has expanded enough as it is without adding a new chapter for Lyra and Bon Bon.
I may write what happens to them in the appendix of the story; which is also where the first chapter from Rarity's perspective will be told.
As for the story proper, the next chapter of 120 Days of Blueblood will focus on the children as they start their first day in their new surroundings.
1394072 Yeah, I think to really do Lyra and Bon Bon's tale in this universe justice it'd need to be an entirely separate chapter, but that could hurt the flow of the larger story. It definitely works left as the black comedy scene it is now.
That was way awesome!The thoughts that were going through Lotus's head was definitely my favorite part. Though I wish it went on longer and all through her perspective. Losing your mind to that fuzzy feeling would be sweet and whimsical way to die. I'd imagine fading to white. If I could I'd fav this again.
Well I want to congratulate you on this story I hate it but just like many other things it's kinda not funny but not good but maybe the word is neat to look back on them.
1472977 1473107 Thanks for the feedback! When I work on this story, my writing takes on a different style. It only gets more gut-wrenching from here on out.
It's interesting... I don't enjoy reading this, and yet I want to read it all the same. Perhaps a silly analogy, but it seems like following news reports almost-- where you don't like the experience but you feel compelled to go on just to be informed.
The actual torture seems less fascinating than the build-ups and climb-downs, so I confess to skipping several things (erratically as I've read on)...
I just wonder how Blueblood will meet his demise. And the royals themselves? I wonder... perhaps it is that the Changeling Queen could invade and topple their government, based on the lack of magical ability of the royal alicorns? Or maybe Discord leads a successful insurgency? So many possibilities!
What I'd most like to see, or at least what I've seen in my own mind, would be the royal sisters turning on Blueblood (perhaps literally, to feast upon his living flesh with their own teeth) while Blueblood turns back on them. They both succeed and all perish. Or maybe they are turned on and destroyed in a manner befitting of their crimes.
I suppose what draws me a lot is the interesting meta-ironic fact that Blueblood and the sisters are, in a serious way, the ones at a loss. They have power, yet they have no motivation. They only seek 'pleasure' yet they have destroyed the most successful ways to achieve pleasures (they are incapable of feeling 'love', they don't know the joy of doing good for others and feeling relationships, and so on). They are like zombies. They are husks without emotion, rational thought, morality, or drive for living. They have developed from ponies into something like livestock, or perhaps machines would be a better comparison. Just like how a clock on a wall has no purpose, goals, identity, meaning, greater cause, or anything like that but to tick, maddening if one imagines being turned into one, so how they merely machines scraping for grasps of what they label as 'pleasure'.
So, oddly enough, I pity them as much as I hate their actions. Much as I pity a rapid dog that chomps on a fencepost thinking that he's accomplishing some great pleasureful act in his own mind, but in reality he's doing nothing of consequence. Or how I pity a lab rat hooked up with electrodes and vials lead to his brain in the locked in the middle of a small cage, tapping a large button over and over again that shocks him with endorphins.
*tap*
"Oh, such pleasure!"
*tap*
"Such wonderful pleasure!"
*tap*
That's all Blueblood is. Nothing more. Nothing less. A mindless cog tapping away at the button marked 'pleasure', thinking that they are getting something real.
Perhaps that would be the most fitting torture of all-- if they were somehow given the vision of what their lives are like in the regular show (filled with true pleasure caused by serving others, loving, being loved, etc.) compared to this. Then, being given this gasp of knowledge, they find that no touch of flesh can satisfy their wants, no drink can quench their thirst, no food can sate their hunger, and so on. Like the cursed pirates of the carribean, they are mere zombies, failing to find the 'real' pleasure that they could have had if they had chosen the higher life path.
Instead, they become aware of the horror that they are.
1477308 [Reads comment] [Checks out SwiperTheFox's user page] [Realizes he's not currently following SwiperTheFox] (Click) [Bronystories is now following SwiperTheFox]
Thank you for the heartfelt and insightful feedback! I love the way your mind works and look forward to seeing more from you!
And rest assured. There will be more Blueblood updates soonish.
I have to say, I love this, screw the brony love and tolerate motto this is fanfiction and I want more. Very few authors have the balls to write a story like this....probably because Bronystories took them so he could write it.
1502937 A handy key for this story. If the chapter title is a job description or occupation, it's a chapter featuring one of the main six. If the chapter title is something else, it will feature other characters.
Thank you for your feedback. I can certainly understand your aversion to scat. Part of the reason why I felt it was necessary to include it in this story was due to the source material. Salo featured an infamous dinner scene where people ate shit.
I got several complaints about chapter five. Not just from the sheer gross, unpleasant nature of the story, but also because there were those who felt as though the libertines partaking in the feast of excrement diminished their menace.
My argument has always been that frightening characters can't be scary and serious all the time. Sometimes they need moments that can be construed as, for lack of a better word, jovial. Then, when their attitude shifts radically, it's more jarring and creates a stark contrast. It helps prevent the villains from appearing as one note characters.
You also took issue with the fact that the princesses were in on it, instead of Blueblood working covertly. Part of my reason for doing this is to weave in element from historical figures known for their depravity and unimpeachable power. Some chapters of 120 Days of Blueblood will draw from the exploits of Elizabeth Bathory and Caligula, to name a couple.
1510850 Is that so? I'm guessing your a woman? Well then be my guess, come and find me, I doubt a little 12 year old could beat 600 rounds of hot lead a minute from a peice of Russian goodness. If your a man, please read the "How to not be a pussy and grow a pair guide" Have a nice day.
1502986 Hello there. At first, I was reluctant to read this story, but I decided to give it chance. I am not regretting reading this, but I was disturbed, saddened, and disgusted. At one point I wished I was in the story carrying the Death Note
However, I will not stop reading this. I will keep reading every new chapter you upload, because I know that poetic justice is coming is one form or another. I know of the source material this fic is based on, and I know the original story has an extremely downer ending, but I know, deep down, Prince Blueblood and those in his circle, will all die painful, ironic, and gruesome deaths.
So please, if you feel that this story has reached its endpoint, please, kill Prince Blueblood in the most gruesome way possible!
Ooh! A bath! That can't be evil! WRONG. So I was listening to my iPod which I'd put on shuffle. And Seven fucking Nation Army comes on. And while I'm reading this, I suddenly hear, AND I'M BLEEDING AND I'M BLEEDING AND I'M BLEEDING RIGHT BEFORE THE LAW, AND THE STAINS COMING FROM MY BLOOD SAY GO BACK HOME! But that was just a coincedence. Because if it wasn't, I have to believe hat two pony princesses from a TV show are attempting to control me, and I have to go hide in the bunker now. But you seem tone doing well with the whole sex torture thing. People like(?) it.
1527373 I highly doubt that... defeating 2 "immortals", a bunch of loyalists, and a bunch of guards would be pretty hard for 6 innocent mares. Besides, I want these Libertine scum to FEEL THE POWER OF THE COG/HUMANITY!
Hopefully, Lyra and Bon Bon will have an easier time caring for the princesses than Milo and Otis...
I mean Aloe and Lotus!
2.bp.blogspot.com/-qylAZfkENQE/TjGwh_B2NNI/AAAAAAAAAXg/zNz7JZMZ55c/s1600/Lyra+and+Bon+Bon+At+The+Spa.jpg
LET'S GET TO WORK EYEBALLS, READ THIS.
Well that was interesting, now I don't want to execute the Princesses but instead seal them away forever, with their horns broken off, their wings cut off, and a steel plated 1 ton chastity belt placed upon their crotch areas.
Disgusting, vile creatures!
My day was shit and know it is good thank you have a stache
What's this... 120 Days of Blueblood has updated? Hm, well after the last chapter went down I really shouldn't expect anything...
*reads the chapter*
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/228/0/7/alucard__hellsing_by_rapperfree-d5bbqsb.png
Elizabeth Báthory....
Oh Bronystories, you sick wonderful fuck, welcome back! Christmas came early! Happy days are here again!
Bon-Bon sure knows how to pick jobs.
Lyra, listen to whatever Bon-Bon tells you, then do the opposite. safest course of action
1390784
After the disgust generated by The Feast, I figured we could all use something to cleanse our palates.
A nice, soothing bath seemed like just the ticket.
1390826
Thanks for the great comments! Let me know what you think of the other chapters!
I'll hope to have another chapter finished before the end of the month.
Well, it could get worse for the two mares.
Celestia and Luna, I mean. Lyra and Bonbon are screwed.
I came blood.
1391015 I came radioactive mexican midgets.
Also, why would people hate this chapter? it shows lesser beings (Earth POnies) being raped and killed like they should! Also nice work with the Ukrainian.
Well done. Your ability to portray tragedy has made this simple little chapter a very devastating piece of grimdark fiction.
For a job well done, have some Pinkie emoticons. No, please, take them. They're yours.
That was some truly awful stuff. Nice work. I really liked the way you treated the gore. The vivid descriptions from the victims' points of view was an excellent touch and added weight to the carnage where weight isn't often added. I always find the idea of extreme bodily harm without pain to be morbidly fascinating.
Incidentally, I've thought a bit more about that last chapter, and what was bothering me about it was that Blueblood didn't seem as sadistic. Rather he tended to give himself over to carnal impulses, which are, interestingly, something over which he seemed to exert a lot of focused control in other chapters, so as to more effectively break his victims. After all, that's clearly what he enjoys. I think that personally, I prefer the side of the libertines that focuses more on their cruelty and acute sadism. And this chapter seemed to focus more on that aspect of the Princesses, which I liked.
The Odd Jobs crossover was absolutely brilliant, by the way. Perfect.
Oh, and one other thing I noticed: "Thyselves" is an interesting oxymoron in that "thy" is singular, but "selves" is plural. ("Yourselves" would be the appropriate reflexive.)
Again, very nice work. I can't wait for you to get to the Rainbow chapter. I've been looking forward to that one.
Lotus and Aloe are Ukrainian *slow clap* . I personally thought they were Sebs for bit there. Well play sir, well play.
Continue as well, I like were this is going for some reason.
1391615
Thank you for the kind words! I hope to have more updates for this story later this month!
But are Lyra and Bon Bon virgins, is the question?
Pshaa, forget stallions.
Nice chapter, looking forwards to more
I am intrigued by how "Lyra and Bon-Bon's Odd Jobs" would play out in this universe.
You are clearly putting effort and actual research into this thing. This story is a disgusting and horrid work of art.
I feel absolutely no shame having it in my favorites list.
1390900
Before said "Feast" my penis had never been confused. After that chapter my penis vomited, I mean it ACTUALLY vomited. The poor guy was extreamly confused, as was I....Great work though, I look forward to more
You are treading on thin ice mister. Leave. Lyra. alone. *SRS FAIC*
Well. That was rather entertaining (at least it was at 1 in the morning). I find it amusing yet disturbing how Celestia and Luna take a pair of mares, slit their throats, take a bath in their blood, and just start masturbating. But, like, whatevs. Oh, God... My mind is so fucked up right now... I'm going to bed. See ya later.
i.imgur.com/T7iUn.gif
Fuck it in the ass.
...
.....
.......
.....
...
(But secretly I liked it)
1392018
1393662
Thanks for the feedback. I wasn't sure if including a Lyra and Bon Bon Odd Jobs reference would feel out of place, but I think I can make it work.
If I were to kill them off in a future chapter, it would be the most tragic thing I've ever written. I don't know if I could go through with them dying. They may have to escape.
I haven't decided yet.
1393922 Escape!? :D *Hopeful glimmer in my eyes*
1393922
I feel like not killing them would be sort of jumping the shark--as you talked about in your blog post--in that this is a story about the breaking and torment of characters. Definitively so, I'd say. If they survived, it would feel awkward compared to the other chapters, which convey such an atmosphere of grim hopelessness and absolute misery. If you were to do something beyond a one-scene reference (which I originally assumed you were going for, with their fate simply implied) I'd personally recommend killing them off. And that would be an incredible chapter. It could even top The Witch (my personal favorite) if you did it right. Anyway, I've very much enjoyed seeing this story develop and change as it has. Keep up the good work!
And you still have plans to do an alternate Rarity chapter, yes?
1393990
I debated with myself if Lyra would agree to take the job at the castle, or if she would have a bad feeling about the whole thing and suggest that the two of them skip town instead. I personally think that taking the job definitely added more punch to the story and felt more in line with the universe.
I don't know if I have the stones to kill Lyra and Bon Bon off in their own chapter. I had originally planned to just throw them in as a one-scene reference, and I may end up sticking with that plan.
This story has expanded enough as it is without adding a new chapter for Lyra and Bon Bon.
I may write what happens to them in the appendix of the story; which is also where the first chapter from Rarity's perspective will be told.
As for the story proper, the next chapter of 120 Days of Blueblood will focus on the children as they start their first day in their new surroundings.
Excellent work on this one, Bronystories. I came buckets.
1394072
Yeah, I think to really do Lyra and Bon Bon's tale in this universe justice it'd need to be an entirely separate chapter, but that could hurt the flow of the larger story. It definitely works left as the black comedy scene it is now.
Your mind is even more sick than mine. I'm not sure whether to admire or pity you.
That was way awesome!The thoughts that were going through Lotus's head was definitely my favorite part. Though I wish it went on longer and all through her perspective. Losing your mind to that fuzzy feeling would be sweet and whimsical way to die. I'd imagine fading to white. If I could I'd fav this again.
I read this whole story so far just because I wanted to see Blueblood die but now I want all of the circle of rapists die.
Well I want to congratulate you on this story I hate it but just like many other things it's kinda not funny but not good but maybe the word is neat to look back on them.
1436389
Thanks for the feedback!
I hope to have another chapter ready before the end of October.
1436845Cool will hate it then
1436845Thought you might want to see this.
1436965
Yeah, thanks for the link.
I personally feel they reviewed it too soon. I mean, if they would have waited, they could've also weighed in on the most recent updates.
1438413Same here but whatever
Nice! Still waiting for Scoota-rape, though
this is so awful! but in a good way
1472977
1473107
Thanks for the feedback!
When I work on this story, my writing takes on a different style. It only gets more gut-wrenching from here on out.
It's interesting... I don't enjoy reading this, and yet I want to read it all the same. Perhaps a silly analogy, but it seems like following news reports almost-- where you don't like the experience but you feel compelled to go on just to be informed.
The actual torture seems less fascinating than the build-ups and climb-downs, so I confess to skipping several things (erratically as I've read on)...
I just wonder how Blueblood will meet his demise. And the royals themselves? I wonder... perhaps it is that the Changeling Queen could invade and topple their government, based on the lack of magical ability of the royal alicorns? Or maybe Discord leads a successful insurgency? So many possibilities!
What I'd most like to see, or at least what I've seen in my own mind, would be the royal sisters turning on Blueblood (perhaps literally, to feast upon his living flesh with their own teeth) while Blueblood turns back on them. They both succeed and all perish. Or maybe they are turned on and destroyed in a manner befitting of their crimes.
I suppose what draws me a lot is the interesting meta-ironic fact that Blueblood and the sisters are, in a serious way, the ones at a loss. They have power, yet they have no motivation. They only seek 'pleasure' yet they have destroyed the most successful ways to achieve pleasures (they are incapable of feeling 'love', they don't know the joy of doing good for others and feeling relationships, and so on). They are like zombies. They are husks without emotion, rational thought, morality, or drive for living. They have developed from ponies into something like livestock, or perhaps machines would be a better comparison. Just like how a clock on a wall has no purpose, goals, identity, meaning, greater cause, or anything like that but to tick, maddening if one imagines being turned into one, so how they merely machines scraping for grasps of what they label as 'pleasure'.
So, oddly enough, I pity them as much as I hate their actions. Much as I pity a rapid dog that chomps on a fencepost thinking that he's accomplishing some great pleasureful act in his own mind, but in reality he's doing nothing of consequence. Or how I pity a lab rat hooked up with electrodes and vials lead to his brain in the locked in the middle of a small cage, tapping a large button over and over again that shocks him with endorphins.
*tap*
"Oh, such pleasure!"
*tap*
"Such wonderful pleasure!"
*tap*
That's all Blueblood is. Nothing more. Nothing less. A mindless cog tapping away at the button marked 'pleasure', thinking that they are getting something real.
Perhaps that would be the most fitting torture of all-- if they were somehow given the vision of what their lives are like in the regular show (filled with true pleasure caused by serving others, loving, being loved, etc.) compared to this. Then, being given this gasp of knowledge, they find that no touch of flesh can satisfy their wants, no drink can quench their thirst, no food can sate their hunger, and so on. Like the cursed pirates of the carribean, they are mere zombies, failing to find the 'real' pleasure that they could have had if they had chosen the higher life path.
Instead, they become aware of the horror that they are.
*tap*
*tap*
*tap*
Just a thought.
1477308
[Reads comment]
[Checks out SwiperTheFox's user page]
[Realizes he's not currently following SwiperTheFox]
(Click)
[Bronystories is now following SwiperTheFox]
Thank you for the heartfelt and insightful feedback! I love the way your mind works and look forward to seeing more from you!
And rest assured. There will be more Blueblood updates soonish.
1477936
Thanks very much for watching!
It would be sweet if you could look through, read, and comment on some of my past work!
Anyways, as per what I just wrote there, that might be worth looking at when you envision the ending here... just a thought...
I have to say, I love this, screw the brony love and tolerate motto this is fanfiction and I want more. Very few authors have the balls to write a story like this....probably because Bronystories took them so he could write it.
1502937
A handy key for this story. If the chapter title is a job description or occupation, it's a chapter featuring one of the main six. If the chapter title is something else, it will feature other characters.
Thank you for your feedback. I can certainly understand your aversion to scat. Part of the reason why I felt it was necessary to include it in this story was due to the source material. Salo featured an infamous dinner scene where people ate shit.
I got several complaints about chapter five. Not just from the sheer gross, unpleasant nature of the story, but also because there were those who felt as though the libertines partaking in the feast of excrement diminished their menace.
My argument has always been that frightening characters can't be scary and serious all the time. Sometimes they need moments that can be construed as, for lack of a better word, jovial. Then, when their attitude shifts radically, it's more jarring and creates a stark contrast. It helps prevent the villains from appearing as one note characters.
You also took issue with the fact that the princesses were in on it, instead of Blueblood working covertly. Part of my reason for doing this is to weave in element from historical figures known for their depravity and unimpeachable power. Some chapters of 120 Days of Blueblood will draw from the exploits of Elizabeth Bathory and Caligula, to name a couple.
1510850 Is that so? I'm guessing your a woman? Well then be my guess, come and find me, I doubt a little 12 year old could beat 600 rounds of hot lead a minute from a peice of Russian goodness. If your a man, please read the "How to not be a pussy and grow a pair guide"
Have a nice day.
1510890
Oh why thank you darling.
I am a wee bit too proud of that bit of prose myself...
And dont mind that there little Brutal he takes himself far too seriously.
1502986 Hello there. At first, I was reluctant to read this story, but I decided to give it chance. I am not regretting reading this, but I was disturbed, saddened, and disgusted. At one point I wished I was in the story carrying the Death Note
However, I will not stop reading this. I will keep reading every new chapter you upload, because I know that poetic justice is coming is one form or another. I know of the source material this fic is based on, and I know the original story has an extremely downer ending, but I know, deep down, Prince Blueblood and those in his circle, will all die painful, ironic, and gruesome deaths.
So please, if you feel that this story has reached its endpoint, please, kill Prince Blueblood in the most gruesome way possible!
1525023
The story hasn't reached its endpoint.
Blueblood still has at least three pegasi left before the end.
1525243
You have excellent timing. I was just working on the next chapter when you left your comment. It should hopefully be finished before too long.
Ooh! A bath! That can't be evil! WRONG. So I was listening to my iPod which I'd put on shuffle. And Seven fucking Nation Army comes on. And while I'm reading this, I suddenly hear, AND I'M BLEEDING AND I'M BLEEDING AND I'M BLEEDING RIGHT BEFORE
THE LAW, AND THE STAINS COMING FROM MY BLOOD SAY GO BACK HOME!
But that was just a coincedence. Because if it wasn't, I have to believe hat two pony princesses from a TV show are attempting to control me, and I have to go hide in the bunker now. But you seem tone doing well with the whole sex torture thing. People like(?) it.
1527373 I highly doubt that... defeating 2 "immortals", a bunch of loyalists, and a bunch of guards would be pretty hard for 6 innocent mares. Besides, I want these Libertine scum to FEEL THE POWER OF THE COG/HUMANITY!