Thanks to LucMagnus for proofreading Chapters 2-End of Book
Scootaloo had barely started Pegasi Kindergarten and was already being picked on. One day, as she walks home she runs into a couple of her class mates as they pick on her. They unintentionally back her into the very edge of Cloudsdale, when she losses her footing, sending her spiraling through the air. All of a sudden she stops falling as she lands on the back of a Rainbow maned mare. Scootaloo later finds out the other mare, like her, has very few friends. Thus, Scootaloo's and Rainbow Dash's memorizing adventure to find friends begins.
Chapters (3)
Story related to mine
It's funny how in this story, they become friends. And in my story, they become sisters
You should notify me about your story and I'll talk about mine
Arrivederci.
This is a nice story so far
plz finish. you left me on a cliff hanger! good story, though.
Hey you! Good to see an update.
Not bad good to see an update.
Scootaloo is not red, she’s orange.
Also, I feel as if though this is kind of rushed. It barely makes sense, too.
I mean, why would she even be near the edge in the first place? I doubt the school would be there. You could of had her be continuously tainted until they reached the edge, or her bullies could have made some cruel “joke,” in which, since they’re bigger, pick her up and carry her over to the edge and toss her off, to see if she would fly. Said bullies would also probably be sent to juvenile prison for basically attempted murder.(they knew she couldn’t fly but shoved her off anyways.)
Also, Rainbow shouldn’t automatically be able to tell if she could or couldn’t fly after rescuing her. W in g size doesn’t really matter. Look at Snowflake/Bull Biceps, he has wings nearly as small as Scoot’s, and can fly just fine. All ponies have magic in them, and it seems like Scootaloo doesn’t have enough magic in her wings to help her fly.
One last thing: Scootaloo shouldn’t walk on a sprained hoof, especially after it being right taken care of. It wouldn’t help at all, and would only make things worse: it would cause the hoof stress, and it would start to fracture. I’ve seen it happen to people when they over exert themselves, and they barely notice it at all until they go to the hospital from the pain. And this could also ruin a career, depending on how bad it gets.
Overall, I feel like it needs quite a bit of work, but I think it can be a very good and enjoyable story.