Fly
She sits in her room, sighing as she stares at the posters she has hung up on her wall. Her watery eyes are bloodshot and burning, and tears trickle down her cheeks.
She hasn't felt this bad in a long while. Actually, she has never felt this bad -- ever.
She looks down and holds back a sob.
"Why did this happen?" She mumbles, her voice hoarse from sobbing nonstop the passed few hours.
"Why did.. this happen?" She repeats as she looks back up at her biggest poster of the rainbow maned pegasus. It's only been a few months, but it feels like years to her. Her role model, her big sister, she's.. gone.
Apparently, there was a freak accident with the Wonderbolts at the academy. Rainbow Dash isn't the only one who died, but she's the only one on Scootaloo's mind.
Scootaloo was looking forward to hanging out with her big sister when she got home. It was Scootaloo's birthday after all. She was excited. But Rainbow Dash never came home..
Rainbow Dash's friends took it pretty hard as well. Twilight shut herself in, as did Fluttershy. Neither of then come out of their homes.
Fluttershy cries nightly while Discord can only watch, his heart breaking with each sob. He wishes he could help his love, but he just doesn't know how to.
Twilight just stays in her library and studies death and how to cope with loss of a loved one. Spike left to the Crystal Empire because he couldn't stand to see Twilight in the condition she is in.
Applejack spends even more of her time working so she can numb the pain. She hardly has any time to sleep or eat. She doesn't want the quiet time. Thoughts invade, and she can't escape them.
Rarity was forced to close down all of her shops because of all of the rainbow themed clothing. She now spends her time in her home, making rainbow dresses that will never be sold until her hooves bleed. She doesn't want to sell the dresses, though. "They're for Rainbow Dash. When she comes home. Oh! she'll love them!"
Pinkie Pie moved back with her family on the rock farm. That is, after all, where she saw the sonic rainboom that Rainbow Dash created that brought all of them together. But she is not the same springy, fun Pinkie Pie. She never will be again.
But as hard as this is for Rainbow's friends, they all know how bad this must be affecting Scootaloo.
Scootaloo cries hard on her bed, holding tight to what's left of Rainbow's uniform. In the corner of her room is a box of all of Rainbow Dash's Daring Do books and a few of her other personal belongings. They were given to Scootaloo a week after Rainbow Dash's death, and Scootaloo asked for her uniform too.
"I-I don't think-" "Please! Give it to me! I don't care what it looks like! It's all I have left of her! Please!" Scootaloo begged, cutting Soarin off.
Soarin blinked away the surprise then sighed as he reluctantly handed a box to the distraught Scootaloo. In the box was what is left of Rainbow's uniform.
Scootaloo tore open the box to reveal the tattered and torn and bloodied Wonderbolt uniform. There was still a feather from one of Rainbow's wings caught in a hole, and there were even some strands of her rainbow mane stuck in the crusted blood.
That was the beginning of Scootaloo's endless sorrow.
"Please. In the name of Celestia! Please let this pain stop.. Please.." Scootaloo pleads through sobs as she curls up on her bed.
She cries alone for several minutes. Then the moon in the sky outside of her window glows brighter. Then, as if the moon is simply a hole in the sky, Luna appears through it.
"Scootaloo." The dream dwelling princess calls, to which Scootaloo jolts in surprise. She sits up on her bed and looks out of her window where Luna is.
For a moment, the broken filly feels hope, however small and weighed it is.
"This.. Th-This is all just.. a dream?" Scootaloo asks, her sad voice full weighed by heavy hope.
Luna gives the young filly a pitying look. But she nods.
"It is a dream, but.." Replies Luna, but she is hesitant to continue.
"B-But what?" Asks Scootaloo who wipes her eyes. "Wake me up. Please! I wanna see Rainbow Dash!"
"I cannot wake you, Scootaloo." Luna says. "These passed moons have been mournful," Scootaloo freezes afraid as Luna continues, "but not for Rainbow Dash. Do you remember that day? Your birthday?" She asks.
Scootaloo furrows her brow and frowns, feeling a coldness creep over her. "Y-Yes. I was waiting for Rainbow Dash to come home. So we could celebrate." Scootaloo replies. "Why are you- Wait! Princess Luna! Wh-Where are you going?!" Panic rises in Scootaloo's voice. "Don't leave me!"
"I cannot stay anymore.. Scootaloo! Rainbow Dash is not the one mourned over!" Luna says as she is seemingly dragged toward the moon in the sky.
Scootaloo jumps off of her bed as the atmosphere around her begins to darken. She rushes to the window and asks, "Then who is?!"
"You, Scootaloo!" Luna says as she struggles to stay in Scootaloo's dream, hanging tight to the edge of the moon. Scootaloo gasps in horror. "W-What?" She breathes.
Luna tugs on the edge of the moon to have one more glance at Scootaloo as she says, "You fell into the river, and nopony knew! Rainbow Dash-"
Luna is snatched from the edge of Scootaloo's dream before she can finish explaining.
Darkness surrounds Scootaloo, and her ears begin to ring. The coldness grows more and more, encasing Scootaloo's entire form as does the darkness.
"I- I'm.. dead..."
The room is cold and white, the atmosphere thick with sorrow. On the hospital bed lies Scootaloo as the doctors take her off of life support.
Rainbow Dash holds the filly's hoof and whispers, "It's okay, Scootaloo. Go fly. Fly with the angels. I'll meet you there when I come."
A tear rolls down Rainbow's cheek as she listens to the slow beeps turn into one elongated beep until the heart monitor is turned off. She kisses Scootaloo's cheek. "Fly with the angels, Scootaloo.." She whispers as she lays her head on the hospital bed and begins to softly cry. "Fly.."
Within the passed few months, Rainbow Dash tried to keep hope. "She'll wake up. You'll see! She'll wake up!" She would always say when her friends checked on her. "A-And then, we can celebrate her birthday."
The next few months, Rainbow spiraled into depression. She hid away in her home, not opening her door to anyone and not speaking to anyone. "If I hadn't been so lax.. I-If I acted on that gut feeling.. I could have found her before.." She breaks into sobs. "It's all my fault!"
What happened on Scootaloo's birthday is that she was so excited for Rainbow Dash to come home from the academy that she took a shortcut over a bridge that had been closed due to structural error. She just couldn't wait to see Rainbow Dash, and she figured she could go fast enough to clear the bridge, or most of it rather.
The back wheel of Scootaloo's scooter got caught on a piece of construction equipment, and she fell into the freezing torrential river below which leads to a waterfall. It was hours before Rainbow Dash finally found her.
Scootaloo wasn't breathing, but the doctors were able to revive her body. Her brain, however, would never wake up again, and her heart was far too damaged to work properly on its own again.
Fly with the angels, Scootaloo.. Fly..
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Poor Scootaloo. She stlll had her life ahead of her.
That was pretty good for a first fic. I liked it well enough . And don't feel bad for making it a bit dark theres nothing wrong with a dark story.
8032936 Thank you so much :)
8032934 Yeahh :/ my b heh
8032950 You're welcome. In fact I think I'll give you a follow and see ware this goes.
8032959 I thank ya kindly! Idk when I will begin posting my next fic though.
8032974 Take your time. I don't have any written myself. Tho I am working on one but I'm a procrastinator.
8032976 I know how that feels. I've been working on one for about three years now and only have a few chapters written.. Heh... But that one is a lot more serious to me than this one was. I wrote this at five am lol
Ah, the first story. Normally, they are festooned with grammatical errors and structured in a way that makes your eyes bleed. But for a first story, this is quite good!
I always like to watch people on this site grow, so I'll list some of your readily apparent strengths and weaknesses.
Strengths of the story:
~ Some genuinely haunting lines. The vivid imagery of the bloodied clothes actually made me feel slightly uneasy.
~ Grammar is perfect and so is the structure, everything feels organized and professional. Which is necessary on this site.
Weaknesses of the story:
~ Its too short. To be honest, there just isn't much sadness because everything goes by in a flash. Most writers would prolong the mention of Rainbow Dash's death but by the eighth line it's just there.
~ The ending is kind of awkward. The quote is beautiful, don't get me wrong. It's the random dump of exposition that sort of takes you out of the story. Here's some advice, no one likes exposition. Anywhere. Especially when its just vomited in a big pile of words.
There are more strengths and more weaknesses I could mention but these are the "main" ones. Honestly, I enjoyed reading it for a first story and I see a lot of potential. If you keep writing and take the advice people give you, I'm sure you can sit up there with the ranks of Estee and Pen Stroke.
8033880 Thank you for the tips. I felt the same way about the end, but I did write this at five am. I will be sure to take your advice to heart in my next story.
I liked it, but like another one said, it was too short. The reactions of the 6 mane were not very emotional. They basically just made arrangements, or that's what it felt like. If that's the way they coped, then it should have been more explicit, something like "Rarity focused on recalling the suits and managing refunds, as a way to distract herself from the pain in her chest."
I also think the Luna scene should be more direct. If she came to tell a message, then she should tell it. If the message is interrupted, then it is interrupted. It kinda felt a bit "No, I'm not going to tell you, well, ok, I will."
Lastly, I think that if they were going to give the uniform of Rainbow Dash to Scootaloo, nopony in their right mind would have given it with the blood still on it to a child. They either destroy it during the effort to revive her, or clean it for the relatives. It would have been better to say that it still had some blood stains that they couldn't wash off or something.
Having said that, it's just my taste and preferences. But it's your story, not mine, and I still liked it.
Wait, so what happened to RD?Is she dead too?I understood that Scootaloo drowned, but what happened to RD?
this tugs at your heartstrings :(