When Canterlot Burns

by Mira Starlight

Revolution (revised)

Author's Note:

Now, I don't know if this will count for the contest, but I'm running off the assumption that it doesn't. So, a somewhat revised, extended version of the older chapter. I'll leave that up for posterity's sake, and also the fact that some of you guys gave really helpful advice, even if it is in the form of criticism. Thanks for that.

That's what happens when you try to write something in 2 hours, based on the few wisps coherent thought you have when you've just woken up.

When Canterlot Burns
By SilverShadow

I look upon the halls of my throne room. It hasn’t changed in the past ten years. Well, not physically, at least. There’s something chilling in the air, despite the bright colors, and the beautiful stained glass windows.

I can hear the sounds of hoofsteps from the hall. It isn’t long before the massive doors are slammed open, and my guards fall to the floor, unconscious.

In walk two ponies I thought I knew so well. Both are pegasi. The first one is a blue stallion with a bright green mane. The second is a white mare. They wear the dark blue armor and the insignia of my generals.

“Hello, Sky Stinger,” I say. “Vapor Trail.”

The two look at me with eyes hardened from years of battle. “It’s over now,” says Sky Stinger. They keep their rifles pointed at me.

“Oh,” I say. “Are you going to betray me too? Just like everyone else?”

“No,” he replies. “The only one who has ever betrayed anypony is you.”

“Remind me, again, who in this room was the Element of Loyalty?” I jump down from my throne, and walk straight toward the two pegasi. Surprisingly, it’s Vapor Trail who speaks up.

“For someone who was the Element of Loyalty, you really don’t know much about it at all, do you?” Her voice is a far cry from the shy mare I once trained at the Wonderbolts’ Academy. “Loyalty must be inspired, not forced. You’re doing exactly what Sombra did. You’ve gone too far, Rainbow Dash.”

“Don’t compare me to Sombra!” I shout. “I am nothing like him! I made this nation great!” I look directly into their eyes. “And you… you should be grateful to me. I was the one who got you where you are.”

Sky shakes his head. “Perhaps, once, we might have been. But you are not the same mare you were thirty years ago.”

And Vapor looks at me. “We could never be grateful to a tyrant,” she spits.

My vision goes red. “TRAITORS!” I scream, lunging at the two pegasi. They immediately fire off a round of bullets at me. My horn glows, and I shrug off the bullets with ease. Vapor’s eyes show the barest hint of surprise when I land in front of them with enough force to crack the marble floor.

“Your toys can do nothing to me,” I growl, before slamming a hoof into Vapor’s stomach.

“Coming here was a mistake,” I say, kicking Sky Stinger in the face as he tries to sneak up on me. “And you’re going to pay for it.”

I fire a stunning spell at Vapor Trail, but she dodges it, before flying at me in a burst of speed. Sky, who has apparently recovered, joins her.

Soon enough, they're both on me with a flurry of kicks and punches. I block most of them, and retaliate with even stronger blows. Occasionally, though, one of them gets a lucky hit in on me.

Then Sky takes a swipe at me with one of his wings, and I feel a sharp pain in my cheek.

“You… you actually… hurt me.” I say, as blood rolls down my face. He must have wingblades. I’m filled with shock. But in an instant, that shock is gone, replaced by pure rage. “I’ll end you!” I scream, kicking the two pegasi into the ground.

I begin charging up my horn again, this time for a much more powerful spell than before. The air crackles with magic as Vapor and Sky scramble for cover. Foolishly, I think.

I release the spell, and the world turns white.

When I regain my vision, I see that the windows in the room have been blown out by the spell. The sunlight streams in through the openings, as red as fire.

Sky and Vapor are lying on the other side of the room, bruised and bloody. Sky is groaning, and Vapor is slowly pushing herself to her hooves. I walk towards them, my horn sparking, and they turn to me.

“Do you now see how crazy you are?” I ask. “Do you now see that you are no match for me?”

“No,” Vapor Trail says. “All I see is an egotistical tyrant who refuses to see the wrong in her own actions.” She pushes herself to a shaky stance, favoring her right side over her left.

“Look at what you've done,” Sky whispers, pushing off the stone that’s fallen on his legs. “Manehattan is in ruins. Ponyville has been destroyed. Thousands; no, millions of ponies are dead, and even more have fled. The Crystal Empire is having their worst refugee crisis in centuries.”

“And Canterlot…” says Vapor Trail. “Canterlot was once a shining city on this mountaintop. But now, it lies in flames. And it’s all because of you.” She somehow still keeps a brave face on, despite the fact that one of her legs is very obviously bent at an unnatural angle.

“You were once my hero,” says Sky Stinger. “You were every pegasus’ hero. But now…now, you’re just a madmare who’s drunk on her own power.”

“It’s too late, Rainbow,” Vapor Trail says. “Our forces have all but taken the city. Just look outside.”

I hear a massive ‘boom’. I fly out the broken window, and hover outside to gaze over the City of the Sun, to try and figure out where it came from. Gone are the beautiful houses, the statues, the fountains. Everything has been destroyed. There’s fires everywhere. The sounds of spells ring through the streets, interspersed with the cracks and bangs of gunshots. A large black cloud rises from the city, and I realize it’s from a bomb.

Outside the city, I see a large blot of white. I look at it in confusion at first, but then I realize that those are tents. And those tents have ponies in them. Ponies that I forced out of their homes, out of no fault of theirs.

Past that, there’s a sea of blue. I’d recognize the army of the Crystal Empire anywhere. It’s funny; once, they themselves were rescued from the grip of a despot. Now they’re the rescuers. Perhaps Vapor was right earlier. Sombra and I aren't that different, after all.

As I look over my kingdom one last time, I see clearly again. Perhaps for the first time in decades. Maybe this sight is what showed me I’ve been deluding myself all this time. Maybe it’s the realization that I have no chance of winning this battle.

I look at my reflection in the palace walls. The pony staring back does not look like a princess. Her hair - my hair - is disheveled. My eyes, a haunting look to them, betray years of insanity and paranoia. I’m wearing a necklace with a lightning-bolt shaped gem in the center: the Element of Loyalty. The once-gold frame is now a dark, dirty gray. The gem is almost black, now, with not a hint of the red that it once was. There's no point in denying it anymore, really. I flew too high, and I fell hard.

I fly back into the castle and drop to my knees, and weep.

“What have I done?” I cry. “What have I done?”

I look kinda pathetic, but at this point, I don’t really care anymore. I suppose I deserve it.

Sky Stinger and Vapor Trail walk up to me, and place handcuffs over my hooves. I don’t resist. They lead me out of the castle. They stand at the top of the stairs in front of my- no, not mine anymore- palace and proclaim to the nation, “We have won!”

They look back at me as cheers rise from the streets. The sad looks on their faces hurts more than I imagined.

“You're finished,” they say. In a way, I feel relieved.

Six months later, I stand trial, and plead guilty. They don’t sentence me to death; the official reason is that I was insane. I suppose they just couldn't find a way to kill an alicorn. I’m locked away in a secret facility; one that’s far from prying eyes. It’s as secure as they can make it. Still, some ponies worry if I might escape. Honestly, they worry for no reason; I have no intention to do so.

Solitary confinement can’t make me any crazier than I already am, anyway.

---

Princess Rainbow Dash (b. 980 A.N.M) was the 2nd Bearer of the Element of Loyalty and, after her ascension to alicornhood in 1020 A.N.M., 4th Princess of Equestria. Once revered as a hero, she gained power over Equestria in 1025 A.N.M by locking away her fellow rulers, Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Twilight, in a coup d’etat. Soon after, she imposed a reign of terror over the nation for the next 10 years, imprisoning those who disagreed with her policies and brutally crushing any and all dissent. It is unknown exactly how many ponies were killed under her rule, but equine rights groups put the number at approximately 3.5 million, whether it was in riots or in prison camps. Millions more fled from Equestria to the Crystal Empire, where Princess Cadence sheltered them until the end of Dash’s reign. In 1035 A.N.M., the Empire declared war on Equestria. The ensuing conflicts, since dubbed the Crystal War, killed at least 6 million additional ponies.

Her rule came to an end when two of her top generals, former Wonderbolts Sky Stinger and Vapor Trail, led a Crystal Empire-backed revolution against her, culminating in what is now known as the Battle of Canterlot in 1038 A.N.M. Stinger and Trail confronted her in her throne room. Details about the confrontation are unclear, but the two later described it as “her [already fragile] mind just… shattering.” As they wrote in their bestselling memoir, When Canterlot Burns, she “couldn’t handle the guilt of her actions.”

Dash was apprehended shortly after, and subject to a very publicized trial. As she was considered insane during her reign, she was spared the death penalty (which itself would be abolished a year later). Instead, she was kept in a secure containment facility created by Princess Cadence, where she remains to this day.

After Dash’s imprisonment, major reforms were made to the Equestrian government. The Princesses, whom Cadence released shortly before Dash’s trial, would remain on the throne, but only as figureheads. The Head of Government would instead be a democratically-elected president. Sky Stinger, who saw a boost to his popularity after his revolution, would be the inaugural holder of the office, winning the election by a landslide in 1040. President Stinger and First Lady Vapor Trail would then work with Cadence and the Crystal Empire to successfully reconstruct Equestria after Rainbow Dash’s disastrous regime.
~the Ponypedia page on Rainbow Dash, c. 1090

---

Hey, Twilight.

Hello, Rainbow.

Why are you here?

I just wanted to visit my friend. Is that really so wrong, today?

Not really. But, after all I’ve done, can you really call me a friend anymore?

Rainbow… don’t say that.

How can I not? I betrayed you. I drove Equestria to war. I… I killed so many ponies.

Rainbow, that was a thousand years ago.

Still hurts, though. Some Element of Loyalty I am, huh?

We’ve all made mistakes, Rainbow.

Don’t try to downplay this, Twilight.

No, Rainbow, you weren’t yourself. That was some cruel, twisted monster that just happened to look like you.

Twilight… are you calling me crazy?

N-no! No, I’m not!

Oh, Twilight. A thousand years, and you’re the same as ever.

I suppose you’re right. But seriously, Rainbow, it has been a thousand years. We’ve forgiven you, just like we forgave Luna.

… Alright, then.

Come on, then. We’re waiting for you.

Twilight?

Yes, Rainbow?

… I’m scared.

Well, we’re here for you. That’s what friends are for, right? There’s no reason to be afraid.

Yeah. Thanks, Twilight.

You’re welcome, Rainbow.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

A step in the right direction, though many of the same issues still plague the story. As I said before, you wrote a gripping conclusion and left out everything that came before, offering no tangible bridge between Dash as we know her and the Prismatic Tyrant. Still, I'm very happy to see you taking criticism positively and striving to improve. Keep at it.

[Mira Starlight]

8028075
Thanks.

I guess I was trying to create a somewhat ambiguous setting, around which readers could make there own guesses as to what happened. I suppose I made it too ambiguous.

[Starlight Nova]

Did you win FanOfMostEverything's contest?

[FanOfMostEverything]

8028185
The winner will be announced next Sunday. At least, that's when it scheduled. We'll see how it pans out.

[Mira Starlight]

8028185
No, there's no way I'd ever come close.

[NicLove]

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

[Mira Starlight]

8125953
Dark themes. Plus the mental breakdown that occurs when a slightly crazy mare finally realizes what the true scope of her actions.

[Seraphem]

Imposing Sovereigns reviews conclude with a look at the madmares.

[PonyJosiah13]

Hmm.

I think my biggest problem with this is it's just too short. This feels less like a story and more like a single scene from a story. It leaves a lot of unanswered questions: How did Rainbow become an alicorn? What caused her to go mad? How did she succeed in her coup d'etat? And what caused Sky Stinger and Vapor Trail to lead a revolt against her?

Furthermore, the resolution seems too quick. She looked out the window at something she'd probably seen dozens of times before, and this one time, she breaks down in tears? Why? What caused her to finally realize what she'd done? Had the doubt been building up before that?

Now, don't get me wrong. Mechanically, it's a good story, and it's a phenomenal idea. I personally believe that if you were to take this idea and run with it, to create a full story from it, it'd be great.

And on another positive note, I really liked the scene at the end. Just dialogue, and it captured the essential elements so well. Good job on that!

[Mira Starlight]

8200004
Thanks for the critique. This was something I cooked up in the wee hours of the morning, and really, I wasn't really sure where to go after that, and I found that I could not commit to a larger piece at this time. I might revisit this verse in the future if my writing skills improve.

But all the same, thank you for your comments!

[PonyJosiah13]

8200185 You're welcome.

Keep writing and you'll improve! You've already got a good base, you just need to build on that.

If you ever want any writing advice or anything, I'd be willing to lend a hand.