• Member Since 31st Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen Oct 28th, 2017

MLP-person


T

After a deadly run-in with Timberwolves, a young colt named Quill, all alone, finds his way to Fluttershy's cottage, where the Pegasus solemnly swears to get him back on his hooves. However, he refuses to admit where he came from or why he's alone, and such quietness can arouse suspicion, in certain young minds. Will Quill be accepted in Ponyville and make a name for himself? Or will he simply flee into the night again, and never look back?

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 6 )

Why would AJ treat a dying child as if he were a dying dog or cat?:applejackconfused:

Also, get yourself an editor, please.

Comment posted by MLP-person deleted Feb 7th, 2017

7928604
I'll edit myself, I normally post the first draft-please excuse my haste. I'll take a bit of time to comb through for spelling and other grammatical errors. Thank you for reading ^-^

7928604 That is the same thing I was wondering.

It is not a bad start to a story, and I am interested in seeing more.

However AppleJack is more than a bit OOC in this chapter. There is no way she would treat a child like a dying pet...considering how her family lost their parents when they were young she would be more likely to try and save that colt no matter what.

The kind of thinking she is showing right now would be more at home in FOE.

7940084
Thank you for the constructive criticism and I understand my mistake with Applejack's way of thinking, you're absolutely right. I'll try to fix that as the story goes on

Whoah, a good story with a fair amount of chapters and only 9 likes? That's odd... this is a really good story though!

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