• Member Since 29th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 30th, 2021

ManestreamStudios


"It is better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." - Cyril Connolly

Comments ( 3 )

Whoo, boy, this was hot. A little awkward on some of the mechanics (occasionally took a few moments to figure out who was doing what (or whom)) and I'm never a fan of switching POVs mid-scene, but this was very hot. A couple points -- There's a formatting issue where all the text goes bold until the end of the story, and you should probably hint at the contents a little with some tags. Nothing in the description suggested an orgy in a Las Pegasus strip club or Dash tonguing AJ. The only other criticism I have is there was plenty of opportunity to lay the groundwork for how it was gonna go near the start -- maybe mention somehow during their day of chores that RD was used to rougher sex or something -- get the anticipation building a little earlier, you know?

But super hot. Favorite, Like, +1, etc.

7833415 It's still got that formatting error!? Grrr...

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I don't have an editor, so I have to rely on the comments ^^;

Eh, I feel like AJ took her revenge a BIT too far, especially after Dash's apology.

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