Dinky

by Artie Downer

Beginnings

Derpy loves delivering mail. It's her most favorite thing to do. Well, that and muffins. Derpy was looking forward to eat some delicious muffins when she gets home! Especially those blue-berry ones! Mmmm~!

But first, Derpy had to deliver a package to a unicorn who lived on the other side of Ponyville. He would be so happy when he got his package.

But then, when Derpy delivered the package, the unicorn didn't look too happy. He told Derpy to come inside his house but she didn't know why? Maybe he would give Derpy muffins for delivering the package!

But Derpy didn't get any muffins. Instead, the unicorn started yelling at Derpy, saying that she always delivered the wrong packages to his house and that he always hated Derpy for her "incompetence" and called her useless and "retarded". Derpy started to cry and wanted to leave the unicorn's house, but he closed and locked the door with his magic. Derpy started crying some more, but the unicorn started to hit her with his hooves. She started begging the unicorn to let her go, but the unicorn didn't listen to Derpy.

Then things got really scary.

The unicorn threw Derpy onto his couch and kept on hitting her. Derpy was still crying and crying and yelling until things got really weird. The unicorn was still hitting Derpy and started doing stuff to her private place. It hurt and Derpy didn't like it!

It wasn't until the Ponyville Police arrived that the unicorn stop hurting Derpy. He tried to runaway but the police got him.

They took Derpy to the hospital, and they asked all sorts of questions and ran all sorts of tests on her. Derpy told the doctors and the policeponies what happened, and they told her that she was a victim of "rape". Derpy doesn't know what that word means, but it didn't seem very good.

Derpy stayed at the hospital for a few weeks, and all of her friends came to visit her! Carrot Top and Lyra and Bon Bon all came to hug Derpy and they started crying but Derpy didn't cry. She was just so happy her best friends came to see her. Then, all the other ponies from Ponyville came to see Derpy, like Twilight and Pinkie Pie and Rarity and Applejack and Rainbow Dash and also Fluttershy! Even Princess Celestia came to visit Derpy in the hospital! They all cried and hugged Derpy, but all she did was smile because everypony came to see Derpy and Derpy was happy! They even brought Derpy muffins, which made Derpy even more happy!

Derpy was let out of the hospital and they told her to come back anytime she needed. All the nice ponies at the Ponyville Post Office welcomed Derpy back with cake and presents and muffins! Then, they told Derpy she didn't have to come and work and they'd still pay her. But Derpy still wanted to send letters and packages and stuff because that unicorn is in jail now where he won't be able to hurt anypony else.

Then, a few weeks after Derpy got out of the hospital, her tummy started to get big. She went back, and the doctors and nurses told Derpy that she was pregnant. Derpy didn't know what that means, so they told her a little foal was growing inside her tummy. Derpy was really surprised, because that meant Derpy was going to become a mommy! But then they told Derpy that the daddy was that unicorn who hurt Derpy and did all that nasty stuff to her.

The nurses told Derpy that there was a clinic in Canterlot where they would take the baby foal out of Derpy and she wouldn't be pregnant anymore. Derpy asked them if the foal would be all right, but they said no and that they would kill the foal. Derpy didn't want that! Just because the unicorn hurt Derpy didn't mean the little foal in her tummy did.

A few months later, Rainbow Dash came by to help Derpy clean her house. By then, Derpy's tummy was REALLY big, and the doctors told Derpy that the baby would be coming out really soon.

Then, Derpy's tummy started to hurt and Rainbow Dash asked what was wrong. Derpy looked at Rainbow Dash and told her it was time. Rainbow Dash took Derpy to the hospital where they put Derpy in a bed and told her to breath. Of course, Derpy knew she needs breathe! Everypony has to breathe! Doctors can tell you such silly things sometimes.

But Derpy's tummy started hurting even more, and Rainbow Dash was there holding Derpy's hoof telling her to push. It was really hard to push, and it hurt a lot! Derpy started to scream and cry and scream until she stopped. And then, Derpy heard somepony else started crying. But it wasn't the doctors or the nurses or Rainbow Dash. Derpy looked down and saw a little unicorn crying. Then Derpy started crying, but not because she was hurting, but because she started to love the little unicorn SO much! It was Derpy's own little daughter.

The Doctors took the little unicorn away to clean her and gave her back to Derpy. The little unicorn foal was still crying and Derpy was still crying and even Rainbow Dash started crying with a smile on her face. Derpy was crying with a smile on her face too. The little unicorn was light purple, and her mane and her eyes had the same color as Derpy, except her eyes weren't all googly eyed like Derpy's.

A doctor asked Derpy what her name would be. Derpy looked at the Doctor and said, "Dinky. Dinky Hooves".

A few years have passed, and Dinky is a little filly now! She goes to school in Miss Cheerilee's class and she plays with her friends and has fun! And when Dinky gets home from school and Derpy comes back from the Post Office, they go inside the house and play and sing and eat muffins and fall asleep on the couch together.

Derpy loves her little muffin.

Comments

[FlutterStar]

Will read, and if this is your first story. We should be giving you harsh advice so your writing improves

[RaptorJesus]

Well, English is not my first language and I only have one fanfic to my name, but for a first it's quite impressive!

Aside from a bit of a rushed (well, more than intended, I guess) feeling (2 or 300 more words wouldn't have hurt), it was very enjoyable.

[ladylilly44]

I really like this story, though I have to admit there's one thing that bothered me. I feel like it's weird for Derpy to talk about herself in third person like that, using her own name. Maybe replace the "Derpy"s with I, me or mine, so it's in first person. I think it might sound better. You obviously don't have to, but it's just a suggestion.

Still, I like the fic as it is.

[SpacePaladin]

Dinky's too old for Twilight to have been in town at her conception. She's roughly Applebloom's age and Twilight's first entrance in Ponyville was when Applebloom was old enough to be in class.

[Spica]

The nurses told Derpy that there was a clinic in Canterlot where they would take the baby foal out of Derpy and she wouldn't be pregnant anymore. Derpy asked them if the foal would be all right, but they said no and that they would kill the foal. Derpy didn't want that! Just because the unicorn hurt Derpy didn't mean the little foal in her tummy did.

This small paragraph deserves everything.

For that, I'm favoriting you.

Keep improving!

[Comet Fall]

Well, in my opinion, telling the story in 3rd person made it sound more like Derpy. (that's just my opinion though)

Great job!

[Myriad Tales]

Words cannot describe. So incredibly Sad. This is so amazing that I am not even using complete sentences.
Poor Derpy...but she got her own sweet little muffin.

[Artie Downer]

888199 thank you so much for your kind words

[FlutterStar]

Good story, nothing much to improve here

[dracoantares]

Very cute. Nothing needs improving as far as I can tell. Keep writing!

[Nima55]

yeeeeeeeaaaaa.... no protip: when bring rape into your story, you'd better slap a goddamn dark tag onto it

[jeffedyjedi]

try making it less like your a mother all like"birds and bees"

[Feldmeijer177]

892026 Muahahaha

[Painting_Strides]

I really like the concept, however, I feel like the writing could be improved upon. It's very repetitive, and I understand the theme you are going for, but I would suggest using first person for this style. c:

[iShatYouNot]

O.o Why no sex tag?