Art is subjective. My writing is subjectively bad.
Dark clouds gather on the horizon... And a storm is coming. When The Princesses, the Mane six, , and even Discord all suddenly vanish, Equestria is left leaderless. Meanwhile in... another place, a new villain is rising, and a new game has just begun.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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If this new villain was voiced, what would he/she sound like?
7683625 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UEn9OyXo3M skip to 0:48 ... he would definitely be British.
Characters seem pretty good, with a slight humorous angle. And we all know Starlight is a sociopath.
Came here via the Chryssie tag. :3
7685358 Thanks for commenting! I can assure you that Chrysalis will be featured in the next chapter, if not then in the one after that. She plays quite a minor role... but will be quite important in the sequel that I have planned.
Hmm, interesting. The dream bit makes sense and limits Luna's powers.
7685408 Thanks for favoriting! I also want to make it clear that Horus compelled Luna to look like nightmare moon, she is still Luna... but will act differently. Horus' mind control isn't all powerful either. He was only able to use it on Luna due to her thinking she had beat it, and bringing back painful memories of her and her sister when they were younger. I may feature some changeling drones in the next chapter... would you prefer them to actually have a personality or...?
7685435 Yeah, figured it out that he's more of a scheming type, overcoming his lack of sheer power with his schemes and making the others' weaknesses work against them.
I simply adore Chryssie and the changelings and drones are far more interesting if they have personalities. Mindless puppets aren't really interesting.
Welp, Starlight's dead.
Aww, I was hoping Chryssie would be one of the protagonists.
'protectd' - protected
8097419 it's kinda hard to die in a dream...
8098066 Freddy Kruger would like to disagree.
8098162 ... Good point.
Heh! That was good. And I could just see spike saying that with his classic deadpan delivery,
Um, those must be some wicked tracks for a train to take a hard turn like that, goodness!
Wait, why? Would magic shave time off the journey, or make a more comfortable ride?
I've always thought of Spike as rather brilliant, but immature.
Except for when he is wearing a mustache. That's really mature. 
8127141 "Um, those must be some wicked tracks for a train to take a hard turn like that, goodness!" PRETTY SURE THE TRAIN IN THE SHOW GOES OVER A MOUNTAIN RANGE AT ONE POINT.
"Wait, why? Would magic shave time off the journey, or make a more comfortable ride?" both. Also, Starlight's an avid supporter of unicorn supremacy.