Since the beginning of time, Aeon, Prince of time, watch everything and maintain peace and harmony as he can.
It was boring, he was thinking of the end of time when he saw a birth baby pegasus. His attention was inexplicable. He couldn't get what was with this little mare. He swore to be her guardian angel. But their relation will be taken far more serious when the mare is going to be adult and Aeon, reveal himself...
Later in the story may invlove death, low state of gore
Picture by me. Story and Picture copyrights belongs to me
Story partly taken from a roleplay on the minecraft server brohoof.com. Thanks to Isuno, Emmabebe0906, IOWrover101, ngorden and Smugglepie for sharing their ocs for the story.
Chapters (9)
have you considered getting a proof reader? the story itself is not bad, but the grammar could use a little... well tlc
783641
I am sorry, I am French and it's not easy without an auto-corrector
This was so epic, It turned out so awesome :D
And the part when Bitrunner died, I ===>
I like ur story
784936
Don't worry, I can still understand the story and it is very good
837459
Why do you have the same name as a character? *gasps* Self promotion!
Eh, I don't care, good story.
855817
Actually she IS my character... me and Thunder Jet are internet buddies and we had an "OC" wedding.
He made a story about it :D
And I know all the other character's owners too cause they're mah buds too :3
Sequel in preparation, hard to think about it... but I want it to be the best possible... Preview: Midnight, Eclipse and Noon http://isuno.deviantart.com/art/Midnight-Eclipse-and-Noon-313441546
Rainfall better come back to life >:I (btw for those of you who dont know i am the owner of rainfall)
Alright, time to read this story. Just letting you know ahead of time; I got "referred" to this story by our mutual "friend" Corr/Will/Willy. But thankfully, I learned a very long time ago to ignore his opinions. So screw that swearing bastard! I'm going to read your story and damn well try to like it!
*finishes reading description*
2180645
o_o...
I don't really know what you meant but this is my first story and I must admit that it's the worst written of all of them :/
2208872
The comment implies that the description gave me a headache.
Let me start off with one bit of active for you that I hope you're already taken: get an editor. I have my own criticisms about the story itself(overly used plot, cliche characters, the most interesting character being the bad guy) but that's not your issue(and my story's quite cliche itself). The main issue for this story was grammar and continuity errors, mainly grammar. So I'd suggest getting a very harsh editor/proofreader who will be as blunt as possible. You don't want someone dancing around issues when preparing a story for people; you want someone who knows what they're talking about and isn't afraid to let you know when you make a mistake.
And one more thing; I am holding back for the simple reason that I don't like discouraging people. I'd prefer to encourage you because there is potential here; it's just been mishandled. If you'd like; you can contact me if you'd like to know more of what I'm talking about.
Please note: I'm writing this message without having read the sequels. And please do contact me; I enjoy giving advice to those who welcome it; that's the whole purpose of critiquing.
2210693
To make a short story, I'm french, so few mistakes are easily made.
2212693
Even more reason to get an editor. I failed English class before so I'm not the best either; so I know the benefits of having someone who does know the English language. But like I said; poor grammar was not the only issue I had with your story.
2212853
This is still my first story