After a unicorn disappears in the Everfree Forest, Twilight stumbles upon the location where it happens. After investigating some hoofprints on the ground she makes a remarkable discovery that will change her life forever. Whether it be a good or a bad change can only be determined by the actions taken and the questions asked.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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weird, but not bad. It should have been longer.
Interesting plot but you could have described it in better detail and you had a lot of grammar/spelling errors and missing punctuation. You need a proofreader! Also, a lot of the actions happened much too fast for the reader to really feel what was happening. More characterization as well. Besides that, erm, it was okay.
The story itself is good, but the story telling could use some work. As said above, space actions out a bit more. With work this could become quite good~
Good Work.
Well Written.