• Published 14th Jun 2012
  • 523 Views, 32 Comments

The Uninhabited - Pew Die Pony

A plague sweeps through Ponyville and a filly is forced underground for safety, but she is not alone

  • ...

Into the Darkness

The Uninhabited: By PrincessLunaOfficial
Chapter 1: Into the Darkness

The Day began as any other in Ponyville’s history, the sun rose in a bright yellow glisten as the day dawned; the sky became crimson as the night slowly faded away and gave welcome to the new day. The town whispered with a strange lack of chatter in the plaza, but not a thing was askew. A single orange filly was quietly walking through the shifting crowd, not a target destination in sight. Amidst the quiet crowd, a loud coughing fit disrupted the peace. Suddenly, a single mare stole the attention of everypony, lying on the ground; coughing up a storm of wheezing and hacking. A group of ponies, including the orange filly, shifted their gaze around the sickly mare.

“Please…make it stop…” The sick mare pleaded while coughing hysterically.

The orange filly stood there as the mare began coughing up a black, tar-like substance beside her. As the mare rolled over on her other side, a buzzing of whispers ensued.

“What in the name of Equestria is wrong with her, it’s not like anything I’ve ever seen.” A single stallion said as he observed the tar-like substance beside her.

“We need to get her to a doctor, now!” Another pony shouted amongst the circle.

As the conversation rose, the orange filly walked around to get a better look of the sick mare’s face. It was awful, her pupils had dilated, almost completely covering her bloodshot eyes, her stomach was distended; almost three times its normal size. He skin was covered in blood red sores, bursting with a sickly greenish color as she moved her sweat-drenched head, and her breathing was short and wheezy. The filly could do nothing but stand in horror as she watched the mare reel over in agony. Suddenly, the mare grabbed the filly by the hoof, scaring her almost to death as she looked up at her eyes.

“It’s not too late for you…” The Mare said as she hacked again.

“…leave while you still can.” The mare said as she laid her head back down on the ground.

The filly had no idea what this meant, too late for what? Just as she began pondering this question, the mare hacked and wheezed for the last time, twitching as her eyes became glossy and her shallow breathing began to stop, her hoof still grasping the filly’s leg. The mare slowly died right in front of her as she watched in silence and the crowd slowly moved away. Among the crowd, a unicorn doctor dressed in a solid white lab coat managed to make his way to the now dead pony.

“Time of Death, 10:45 A.M.” The pony said saddened as he closed the mare’s eyes while still looking at his watch.

“She’s…dead?” Another pony spoke anonymously in the crowd.

“I’m afraid so, this is nothing like what I’ve seen in my medical journals.” The pony said as he turned back around and broke from the crowd’s circle. “Perhaps someone in Canterlot knows.”

“You can’t just leave her here.” Another pony spoke back at the doctor

“I don’t plan to.” The doctor said as he entered his house, no more than two hundred feet away.

A moment of complete silence fell upon the town as filly’s leg remained connected to the mare’s hoof. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the doctor exited his house with a white sheet in his mouth. He slowly walked over to the body as the silk fabric brushed up against the dirt-covered ground. He hesitantly placed the sheet over the pony and released the grip of the dead mare from the filly and heaved her over his shoulder as the crowd remained quiet. He then walked over to an empty carriage, and proceeded to place the body in the back carefully and sat next to it.

“It would be helpful if someone could give me a lift.” The doctor said sternly.

Without another word, two pegasi broke from the crowd and walked over to the carriage, the sound of their hooves making the only noise at the time. Just before the carriage took off, the filly sprinted towards the carriage, determined to follow them. As the carriage’s wheels began to lift off the ground, the filly jumped into it with a thud. At first, the doctor was aggravated; this filly just wasted valuable time, but later came to terms with himself as they headed off. For what seemed like an eternity, the filly and the doctor kept their eyes locked on each other, not a single word spoken.

“Why did you follow me, do you know her?” The doctor said as he pointed towards the sheet.

The filly did nothing but shake her head as she looked down at the sheet, she had a burning sense that she needed to stay with the body. As the silence fell again, the sound of the carriage landing on the ground struck them back to reality. The doctor proceeded out of the carriage, the dead mare on his shoulder, as the filly followed close behind. The whole town of Canterlot had fallen silent when the two left the carriage, just as Ponyville did. The two walked through the town as the streets had completely cleared and headed towards Celestia’s Castle. The Guards surprisingly had no problem letting two unknown ponies carrying a sheet into the castle of the princess, but perhaps stranger things had happened. The Princess was seen sitting in her throne, talking to one of her subjects quietly.

“I have heard what has happened; I see you brought the body with you.” Celestia said as she remained in her seat, eyeing the orange filly.

“Princess, I have studied the history of every disease ever recorded and I have not seen anything like this before; perhaps you know what this is.” The Doctor said as he placed the mare on the ground.

The Princess rose from her throne and walked towards the sheet; the doctor removed the sheet to reveal the mare’s face. Celestia couldn’t help but be appalled by what she had seen, and nervously stepped back. The filly stood by, doing nothing but observing Celestia’s reaction.

“I have not seen an illness like this in my life. Thank you for showing me this. I shall begin an investigation immediately.” Princess Celestia said as she returned to her throne.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an extremely important message to deliver.” Celestia said as she fetched a note and quill.

“But Princess, what should we do with the body?” The doctor asked.

“Leave it here; she will be given a proper burial immediately.” Celestia said as she looked up from writing.

“Thank you Princess.” The doctor said as he turned around taking the filly with him.

The walk back to the carriage was met with a buzzing of confusion amongst the citizens of the town as they discussed what had happened. They nonchalantly climbed into the carriage, and proceeded back to Ponyville. The two spent the entire flight looking at each other, not speaking a word; but rather pondering the sudden death of the pony. The flight returned to Ponyville, the entire town now waiting outside the carriage. The two exited as thousands of eyes fell upon them, all begging for answers. Amid the crowd, one pony rose and spoke.

“What did you find out?” The unidentified Pegasus spoke.

“Citizens of Ponyville, I have an announcement.” The Doctor shouted, trying to keep everyone’s attention. All eyes suddenly fixated on the Doctor as he stood on top of the carriage.

“I am afraid we have just witnessed the first casualty of a currently unidentified disease, please take any proper safety precautions as at this point: sanitize any surface which may spread the disease, avoid any contact with anyone or anything which may be infected, and take any other precautions you find suitable. No one is sure how this disease spreads, or how infectious it is.”

The entire town suddenly became stricken with fear as thousands of questions from hundreds of ponies buzzed throughout the town center; all directed at the preaching stallion.

“Everyone, I need your attention once more!” The Doctor shouted at the crowd. “Please cease any side conversations at this point!”

The entire town dulled from a buzzing of noise to whisper quiet in an instant.

“Thank you, I am afraid I cannot answer any of your questions. At this point, I must discuss with the mayor for further action.”

He said as he jumped off the carriage and walked through the dense crowd.
The stallion walked narrowly through the group, avoiding the confused glares. The orange filly, now standing alone on the cart, jumped off and headed away from the crowd. A few caught a fleeting glimpse of the orange filly as she vanished from view. The pony departed Ponyville without another thought; only determined to get as far from the town as possible. The filly looked back as she reached the limits of her home town, leaving her old life behind forever.

She walked endlessly for hours, aimlessly searching for a safe place. She wandered from small town to small town, each weighed down with a mysterious death. She continued to head west; leaving the borders of Equestria and trekking into the Mild West. After wandering through the entire day, the exhausted filly stopped to rest her hooves on the cooled desert ground as she lay down. She began to rest her head when a small figure caught her eye in the distance. She rose back to her hooves and began to walk toward the unknown shape, ignoring her conscience screaming at her for rest. The curious filly began walking faster as the form appeared to grow. As the night grew darker, the figure melded with the shady atmosphere. The filly began towards the disappearing outline. She began to sprint; ignoring all sense of need for sleep as she finally lost all view of the shape. After aimlessly running, she struck an invisible wall, knocking her to the ground with a pain-engulfing thud. The filly rolled on the ground in agony as she looked to see what she collided with, but the darkness clouded her vision. She rose to her hooves as she slowly walked forward; she was suddenly stopped by the invisible barrier again, felling across the unknown surface with her hooves. She felt something stick out from the wall, almost like a switch or knob. She felt the bottom of the object and discovered it was a bar lock. The small filly pushed the bar up as it remained in place, straining with force as the bar refused to budge. As her grip began to weaken, the bar shot up as the metal piece grinded against the lock as she fell over. The weakened filly looked at the near-invisible door as the bar fell over and bounced on the hinge of the door. The filly stood back up, reached for the lock and pulled it towards her as the large door grinded open, revealing a pitch black hallway. She nervously walked through the doorway, coming across a staircase as she headed down into the darkness with a burning curiosity.

The filly blindly wandered down the endless flight of stairs; each step hoping to be the base of the floor. After what seemed like hours, she finally reached the floor. As she arrived at the entrance of a pitch black room, massive ceiling lights flashed on; illuminating an endless hallway. Each light echoing through the endless corridor as it triggered. The lights revealed old and worn walls, peeling gray paint revealing concrete walls behind it. The atmosphere was almost as an abandoned hospital corridor, lifeless and barren. The filly remained in her place, shocked and confused by the bleak atmosphere of the chamber. With curiosity masking almost all fear, she slowly began walking down the endless hall; her hooves clicking on the thin rubber-coated floor. Each short step alleviated her nervousness as she paced down the endless hallway. She walked for about six hundred yards, the walls almost on a cycle; not a crack different than the one before it. Suddenly, a loud click echoed from the continuous hallway; stopping the filly dead in her tracks. She looked across both sides of the hallway as the clicks grew greater in volume. She squeezed up against the wall to her immediate right, hoping to find a large enough space for her to hide; but to no avail. She walked back to the center of the corridor, ready to face the unknown force approaching. The short filly locked her gaze in the direction of the sound as a darkened shadow appeared from afar. The shadow grew closer as the clicks began to grow even louder, the filly replacing her fear with a fighting will. The figure moved into the light, revealing a grizzled young stallion almost two and a half times the filly’s height. The light revealed he was wearing a tattered jacket with a canvas satchel slung over his shoulder. His entire body had been covered in deep scars, several across his face with one solid white blind eye and one emerald green. A solid black army cap was perched above his shaved head, covering his forehead. A crude, bronze-plated firearm was strapped to his left hoof with a trigger mechanism plate and a tube scope, and a razor-sharp combat knife laced the other with a pressure spring locking the knife in place. The filly did not even flinch at the sight of the heavily armed stallion, her rage still clouding her good judgment. The stallion walked closer, now at a slower pace; until he was face to face with the filly, now clenching her teeth. The filly noticed he did not move or speak, calming herself as she remained in her place. The confused stallion took two steps back, hoping not to alarm the small filly as she regained her composition. Hoping to relieve the tension, the stallion spoke.

“You shouldn’t be here kid;” The stallion spoke in a deep, country accent as his voice echoed through the walls. “It’s not safe down here.”

The filly remained silent, still skeptical of the stallion as she looked at the knife on his hoof.

“Well,” The stallion turned his head. “As long as you’re down here, you’d better stick with me.”

The lights above flickered with a buzz as the stallion awkwardly awaited the filly’s response.

“So,” The stallion cleared his throat. “More on the quiet side, huh?”

The filly nodded, not taking her eyes off the knife.

“I’m Ranger; and your name is?” He said as he reached out the knife on his hoof sprung forward from its lock, placing the point no more than three inches from the filly’s face.

The filly nervously leaned away from his hoof, avoiding the knife. Ranger quickly pulled back his hoof and chuckled with embarrassment. Suddenly, a loud cracking sound rang behind them, echoing in the endless hallway. The alarmed stallion turned around, dropping to his stomach, sticking out his left hoof with his right hoof flanking a button on his wrist into the void in front of him, and placing his left eye behind the scope and closing his right, ready to shoot. Ranger looked to his side to see the filly was still standing; he pulled the orange pony to the floor next to him, refocusing his sight through the glass scope.

“You might want to cover your ears kid;” The focused stallion said as he moved his hoof back to the trigger button. “This thing makes a pretty big bang.”

The room remained silent, not a sound came after the filly hit the floor. Ranger slowly took his eye off the scope and surveyed the area. After finding nothing, the relieved stallion stood back up; dusting himself off as he looked down at the grounded filly. He nudged his head up, indicating she could rise. The filly rose to her hooves, slightly irritated but relieved.

“Sorry I had to pull you down kid;” Ranger said as he readjusted his hat. “I just wanted to make sure you were protected if anything came.”

The filly shot a confused look at Ranger.

“Follow me,” The stallion said as he stepped forward. “I got a safe place where you can stay.” Ranger turned his head forward and began walking.

The filly followed suit, catching up with Ranger as her hooves clicked on the floor.
The two wordlessly walked through the tunnels, Ranger alternating his watchful eyes on the left and right walls, waiting for any sound or movement. The filly remained right at Ranger’s side, almost as a bodyguard as he looked down at her. The hallway finally opened into an underground metropolis, lantern lights and light poles illuminating the huge abandoned settlement almost three times the size of Ponyville with a dark brown glow. Monstrous, dome-shaped steel buildings conquered the town with smaller buildings and stores with plazas around them; an encapsulating dome formed the ceiling. The filly was taken aback by the grandeur of town, her eyes lit up by the light brown street lights.

“Welcome to The City of New Hope, but its name no longer holds true.” Ranger spoke as he remained impassive.

The duo walked down the flight of steel stairs in front of them, each step the filly took she just as amazed as the one before. Ranger rolled his eyes, scoffing her wonder of the insignificant step. The two reached the streets, an old timey essence radiated from every direction as the team walked through the lantern-lit avenue. The filly looked at the abandoned buildings on both sides of the path, her sense of wonder faded from her face. At the end of the road, a single building stood amongst a pile of rubble; not abandoned or even worn, as if it was built yesterday. Ranger and the filly walked inside, revealing a well preserved interior. Ranger left the filly in the main room as he walked to the back of the house. The filly noticed the pictures hanging on the wall; all of the pictures featured a young happy mare and stallion pair, the filly did not recognize the mare but the stallion was extremely recognizable. It was Ranger; the filly couldn’t help but wonder what changed him from an upbeat, genuinely happy pony to the cold, badly scarred and paranoid stallion he had become. After examining the portraits and pictures, Ranger returned with large two-sided bag sprawled on his back.

“We’re not staying here, it’s not safe.” Ranger said as he shook his head.

The filly, still looking at a picture, turned around and headed out the door; waiting for Ranger as he stayed inside. After a moment or two, Ranger emerged from the house as he closed the door behind him. The two left the lone standing building, heading in the direction of the other side of the metropolis. The filly kept her gaze locked on Ranger, comparing his persona with the one in the pictures. Almost no resemblance remained; his entire positive aura had vanished, replaced with paranoia and bitterness. Despite his almost entire lack of emotion, the filly felt safe with Ranger; as if a shred of decency remained within him enough to continuously protect her. The wall at the end of the corridor narrowed into a tunnel, leading out of the abandoned facility through a faintly illuminated passage. The filly stopped in front of the archway leading into the hall, large marquee letters hung in a stage-lit sign which read:
To Equestria District
The Light of Discovery Illuminates the Path to the Future

Ranger scoffed at the sign, ignoring the message.

“No light can shine where only evil lives.” Ranger said as he hung his head and proceeded through the archway.

The filly followed Ranger with a two foot gap behind him as Ranger looked around. The filly had an uneasy feeling of prying eyes behind her, constantly turning around with nothing ever revealing itself. The two reached a side opening in the endless hallway, a crescent aluminum dome formed a capsule in the back of the room in the small exit way.

“This is where we’ll stay for right now.” Ranger said as he turned around at the filly.

Ranger walked towards the rest area, observing the conditions of the single lantern-lit room. Ranger hurled his bag off his back as it hit the ground with a dull thud. The loud thud shocked the filly’s attention back towards Ranger. The stallion reached through his bag, pulling out a tripod, a communicator, and a mechanized sentry. Ranger placed the sentry on the tripod as it slid into position with a loud click. He turned on a switch which lit up the turret, lights sparked on the triggering mechanism as feedback noise sounded and the turret moved. The filly kept her distance from the machine, avoiding its line of fire. The two were behind the turret, safe from any coming opposition. Ranger reached back into his bag, pulling out a tinderbox, one sleeping bag, and a box of cards. The filly looked at the rolled-up sleeping bag.

“That’s yours.” Ranger said; his back turned to the filly as he searched through the bag.

The filly looked at the bedroll for one minute and at Ranger the next. The filly pushed the bedroll back to Ranger as it rolled across the dusty floor. Ranger looked at the sleeping bag now beside him; he turned around to see the filly shaking her head in rejection of his offer. Ranger looked at her peevishly as he rolled the sleeping bag back to her.

“I said it’s yours;” Ranger said turning back around. “I’m not sleeping tonight kid, not while were here.”

The filly picked up the dust-covered sleeping bag as small rocks fell from the bedroll. Ranger remained at his place next to the swiveling turret as the filly situated herself in the sleeping bag. Ranger turned around to see the filly now curled up in the sleeping bag.

“You can use my bag to rest your head if you think it’ll help.” Ranger said as he turned on the safety on the sentry.
The filly pulled Ranger’s bag from behind her head, sliding it under her head as she placed it back down. As her head reached the back of the bag, a thin tablet held her head in place, preventing any further movement. The filly strained her head down as the unknown tablet held its composure. As a bead of sweat formed on her face, the tablet finally gave; a cracking sound so loud Ranger heard it almost twenty feet away. The filly raised her head as she reached inside the bag, feeling around for the tablet. As she reached to the back of the improvised pillow, a glass piece cut her hoof as she quickly retracted her reach. The lantern above her head revealed a four inch cut on her left hoof, a single drop of blood dripped to the floor. Now hesitant, the filly reached back into the bag, feeling around. Her hoof felt a solid wood frame; she pulled the frame out revealing a broken picture. The picture was of Ranger and the unknown mare she saw earlier. She looked up to see Ranger looking down at her; closer examining the filly’s bleeding hoof.

“Kid,” Ranger said as he reached into his bag, somehow ignoring the picture. “You’ve got to learn to be more careful. Now c’mon, let me fix ya up.” The discontented stallion said, holding her hoof in his.

Ranger pulled out a roll of gauze and a small bottle of disinfectant. He placed the gauze on the ground as he uncapped the disinfectant and moved the bottle closer to the filly’s hoof.

“Hold still kid, this’ll sting for just a second.” Ranger said as the filly looked away.

Ranger slowly poured the sterilizer over the cut; white foam began to form over the slash as the filly clenched her teeth in agony. Ranger wiped the foam off the now clean cut and reached for the gauze behind him. The filly turned around to see Ranger tearing a piece of gauze off the roll with his teeth. Her wound had become completely numb as Ranger rolled the gauze around her hoof, now dried from the disinfectant. The filly looked up at Ranger, a straight face masking all emotion as he focused on the wound. The broken picture behind the filly’s head stole Ranger’s attention as he finished wrapping her hoof. The filly looked behind her, still situated in the sleeping bag, looking at her now bandaged hoof. Ranger picked up the picture, reaching behind the filly’s head. Ranger looked away from the old photograph to see the filly looking up at him.

“I’m sure you’re wondering who she is;” The stallion sighed. “She was my wife.” Ranger began.
The filly’s eyes lit with realization.

“I loved her more than anything in the world. I was genuinely happy for the first time in my life when I married her, then…” The stallion’s eyes began to well up.

Ranger covered his head in shame; it seemed almost unnatural for him to show any form any emotion as he stifled his second sentence.

“I’m sorry kid,” The stallion said as he turned around and headed back to his post, head still pointed at the ground holding the picture. “You shouldn’t see me like this.”

The filly remained perfect still, looking at Ranger as he began talking to himself as he faded from view back into the darkness. The filly placed her head back on the bag, the gauze placed back in the bag used as improvised stuffing. The filly looked up at the lantern directly above her head as it dimly flickered in a faint, golden-yellow light. The small pony closed her eyes as she began to slip away from reality. For what only seemed like a few seconds, the filly opened her eyes; the circular light still buzzing just as she left it. Still unaware of how long she had been asleep, the filly looked to her side to hear the faint beeping of the sentry in the darkness. She escaped the confines of the sleeping bag and walked towards the dim pulse of the machine in the distance. The orange pony stopped in her tracks as Ranger became visible in the distance, his head looking at the ground in front of him. Without a word, the lone stallion lifted his left hoof and placed it against his temple; his right hoof on the other side of his positioned hoof. He moved his head to situate the gun barrel now touching his temple. Now free from her grip of shock, the filly moved as quickly as she could without alerting Ranger to stop him. The filly’s hooves, despite her best efforts, clicked on the concrete floor. In spite of the noise, Ranger remained perfectly still, as if locked in a silent trance. As Ranger’s hoof just began to touch the steel plate trigger to end his life, the filly pulled his left hoof behind his head. Ranger turned around to see the small orange pony holding his hoof in an arm lock. The filly looked down to see the broken picture frame lying in the dirt, a pool of tears had formed beside it. The two spent the remainder of the night together, the filly held in Ranger’s embrace under his arm as the pitch black tunnels echoed with a distant growl...

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Comments ( 32 )

Reminds me of the Tunnels series

That's a good thing, right? Or does that mean I'm ripping off work?

746543 I believe it is a reference instead of ripping it off.

*Whew* I was worried for a second.

Haha yeah your good. It was just the same premise sort of, but its vague enough that you definitely could have written something similar without plaigarising.

Too close to plagiarism for me, DELETE ALL THE STORIES!

Naw, your fine bro. If you're really worried look up the 'Tunnels' by Roderick Gordon and at least read the plot summary first on wikipedia or something before you delete. Would sure be a shame i enjoyed this.

1. I actually read the book, kinda worries me how much I copied.
2. How can you like this?

I'm not quite sure what you mean by that.

1. I meant that I actually read "Tunnels" (Well, the first book at least) and I'm worried as to how much I copied from it.
2. "Would sure be a shame i enjoyed this." I meant, how can you enjoy this?

Because I like adventure stories, especially dark/suspense/conflict based ones. Its the genre I write.

Well, at this point, this is all I'm writing in this story. Sorry.

Aww. Well I guess its for my own good lol. I need to stop reading stories and get back to writing mine here or imma miss my deadline haha ><

Own Good? Wha?
Anyways, I was trying to focus on a BIG piece I was trying to work on (about 22-23K words). It's kinda like this, but more Grimdark and Adventure.
Well, reading other stories might inspire you, I wish it did for me.
Maybe once I finish a few more stories, I'll start working more on this. Still hoping to try and at least have more than 3 users read my stories, it's kinda disheartening :facehoof:

Yeah I know what you mean. This fic im writing is a real big one and Imma be disappointed if I have to put in a lot of effort for little return. My tip? Music. Always listen to different musics while writing , I've thought of entire plot arcs because of a single song

I tried listening to music with "The Student of Sparkle" and I listened to a Charlie Chaplin video when I wrote this, but dark ominous music is what I need for my latest one. I already have Gwely Mernans by Aphex Twin for a dark theme, any advice for horror and dark gore kinda stuff?
In honesty, I kinda expect to be ignored, it's just another Fan-Fiction. The only REALLY popular Fan-Fictions has videos and music stemming from them (I.E Rainbow Factory, Cupcakes, S.A.M, My Little Dashie, Awoken, ect.), so popularity is something I should care much less about :twilightsheepish:

For the music I'm not really sure. My stuff is more epic, actiony, intense kind of stuff. Or like emotional, journey-ish, ambient themed. My personal favorite selection is actually the soundtracks to the Ace Combat series. Best VG OST in history easily lol. For example, without boring you with too much of the details, ill say that mine is a warfic, and this is exactly the emotion I try to convey in one scene where she has to really deal with her conscience about her own involvement in a war where neither side can truly be defined as 'bad'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIUapByTJQs&feature=relmfu
Or like this track which inspired an aerial chase scene in the beginning. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL4RBZV7Wjc
But I do actually recommend especially video game soundtracks. They're usually especially good at conveying emotion because they're trying to emotionally invest the player. So research some of the darker horror games out there and then youtube the soundtracks. I know of Amnesia off the top of my head, for example.

Well, I like the horror genre of writing, because (if done correctly) it can include some great emotional back-stories with them (which I have in mine), as well as give a reader a good scare. I know your writing is probably better, so I'll leave you to that.
Still, I LOVE the Amnesia soundtrack and was hoping to make a crossover...until I realized it became so used it was a parasite kind of story, like Grimdark sequels. :ajbemused:
Nevertheless, good luck with your stories, and hope to read them soon.

Yeah. also be proactive about advertising too if you can. Like my story is sort the unofficial literary interpretation of this vid, since everyone seemed to be asking for a fanfic about it, and, as I pleasantly realized, all warfics out there seem to just be alternate dimensional cop-outs where everypony is just an asshole and Celestia/Luna are both dictators or something like that, so I think people will like mine because I actually put a ton of effort into the backstory that turns the regular ponies in the regular universe against eachother in a believable Civil War between the forces of Celestia and Luna, where both sides have merit. I police it regularly, and everytime someone asks about a fanfic related to it, I point them in the right direction. Im pretty excited to see how it turns out because im planning on releasing part one July 1. Ive already got at least fifteen followers i think, and bound to be more when I post that the fic is out in the comments. I sent a pm to the uploader asking if I could piggyback on the description. And when I have enough meat in later parts towards the end of the summer im going for EQD. Stuff like that. See a need and fill it.

Well, you can do things like that, but I can't.
Also, advertising and promoting won't work, I've tried.

Well I have to hope and believe that it will. I already have it promised to a good dozen at least, and like the whole bible quote where God said he would spare sodom for the sake of ten righteous people, for the sake of those dozen i have to follow through. What did you do that didnt work that has you so down?

Eh, forget I even said anything.
(Also, referencing the bible is a no-go with me, sorry. Don't start some religious debate neither of us want)
Either way, I know your writing will be wonderful, *Insert massive self-defeating comment*

Haha no I'm not trying to preach, its just an objective reference. The analogy is still solid. But yeah I certainly hope so. Lemme know if you get something out too. We gotta keep trying if we're going to be famous fic authors. Like Walt Disney said, the first step is to stop dreaming and start doing :twilightsmile:

Well, I have already given up, I've realized that I can't write; but you shouldn't, you still have decent writing skills (from the contexts of your comments, dead serious). Just remember when (not if, when) you become a famous Fan-Fic writer,disregard the annoying parasites like me

Come on surely you know the tale of how Abraham Lincoln like failed at everything forever and then became president. Writing is a skill like any other. If you keep practicing you get better. I mean I'll admit I'm half decent at writing but there's a hell of lot I have yet to learn, and the only way to achieve such is to consistently endeavor to write more. I really think you should reconsider before hanging up the pen. I'll wager that like me and all other writers out there who ever made it big, you hear a call. Like a scientist takes pride in an invention, you take pride in an eloquently written verse. You want your work to be out there cause you know you have something to offer. I know for me I'm constantly thinking of ideas and movie scenes and writings. Everything around me brings a scene to mind of some sort or inspires a fic idea. And my biggest downer is the thought that no one will ever share in the same excitement that I had in dreaming of bringing those scenes to life, that they wont be inspired and animated themselves. Its not selfish if you really want to be known for fics, that's how you know its where you belong. If that describes you as it does I for what good a short paragraph does anyway, then you definitley have to keep at it. If you want, I can give you some ideas of mine or even co-author if you want writing help. When Beethtoven was deaf and told he wouldnt be able to compose great works, he said he'd seize fate by the throat. If it seems fate has the same in mind for you, then take his advice.

Yes, but unlike the epitome successors like Lincoln and Beethoven, I lack the one thing which those two had, an ability which kept their pressing of determination going. No, I would never say something so, Ifoolish and miserly as to believe I should be even minutely recognized for anything I do. I simply intend to try something, strike out, and move on to something else hoping by some microscopic chance I'm not pathetic at I would have perceived. On the account of the call, yes, I do hear a call, it says "F**k you buddy, you don't have skills, quit bitching about it and move on" (I guess the call has a dirty mouth XD). Either way, as I have told many, many, MANY other writers, I can't help others in co-authoring, Me co-authoring with someone on a story would be like throwing an anvil on the wright brother's first flight; it ruins it. Still, I at least aporeciate YOUR enthusiasm, but as you said, you're a decent author, and I know fir a damn fact I couldn't write to save my life.
Eulogy over.

:fluttercry: Well that's a shame. I'll guess I'll have to make mine really good now to inspire you to take the pencil and paper back in hand. :twilightsmile:

Maybe, Maybe. Besides, I want to see you succeed, not me.
Until then, I just go about reading more Fan-Fictions and let my jealousy ruin my psyche.

Jealously is part of what inspires me to do my best. Use your hatred, let it make you strong

Oh how I wish it worked like that for me :facehoof:

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