Happiness and Tears
RDcrystalheart
Chapter 1: He's Our Son
Cloudy Quartz looked down upon the baby carriage with a small smile on her face. She and her husband, Spectrum Skies had just adopted a baby colt, and they were both beyond happy about it.
A pair of strong hooves suddenly wrapped around her waist, as she turned and gave the newcomer a big grin. Spectrum looked down at his wife with a smile of his own, letting go of her, and moving to the crib to look down at his son.
"Look at him, Cloudy. He's going to grow up into a fine young gentlecolt," he said softly. Cloudy hummed slightly, before nodding and coming closer to him.
"That he is, Spectrum," she said happily, picking up the sleeping baby-blue colt.
Cloudy's silvery pink mane brushed his small face, as the colt's emerald eyes opened wide to see his new cream colored mother. He let out a soft, cute giggle.
Spectrum smiled upon seeing the close encounter between mother and son. He walked up to them, and placed his chin on his wife's shoulder.
"He's adorable, and he likes you," he said. Cloudy chuckled, and placed her son into the dark blue stallion's hooves, and ruffled his light multicolored pastel mane happily.
"Don't worry, with a father like you, I'm sure you two will get along just fine," she said. Spectrum smiled, and nodded.
"He's going to make me a proud father," he said. Cloudy nodded.
"Of course he will, Spec. Why wouldn't he?" she asked. Spectrum sighed, and shrugged as he bounced the blue colt in his hooves as he heard his soft giggles.
"I don't know... I wouldn't want him to let me down. He's going to continue my legacy, you know that right? He's going to take over the Wonderbolts someday," Spectrum said. Cloudy's eyes widened.
"Really?" she asked in surprise. Spectrum nodded.
"Of course, there's not going to be anypony else who deserves that title more than him," he said. Cloudy gave her husband a slight smile, and nodded back to him.
"Our son..." she started. Spectrum let out an airy chuckle, as he bumped his forehead to her's.
"Soarin Skies."
"SOAAARINN!" a small cream colt with a shocking bright yellow and blue mane yelled to his older brother. Soarin Skies popped his head from around the corner of the wall, and gave him a big cheesy grin.
"Oh, Speedy. You ruin everything," he said, running a hoof through his blown back navy mane. Speedy blew cold breath up to prevent his shaggy hair from going into to his eyes, but failed miserably.
Speeder Skies spread his wings out and raced after his older brother. Soarin scoffed, simply taking off with a special move of his own, and flew faster in front of him.
"Oh forget it, Speedy. You're never going to be as fast as your's truly," he said in a teasing manner, looking back at his little brother.
"You might be like, twenty-three-"
"Twenty-two," Soarin quickly corrected. Speedy grumbled, and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah yeah, twenty-two years old. And I might be like, fifteen, but that doesn't mean you're faster than me!" he insisted. Soarin shrugged, before giving his brother a cheeky smile.
"Oh Speedy, you know I'll always be faster than you. Besides, Mom and Dad love me more than you!" he teased. Speedy scoffed, and shook his head, as the two continued their little race.
"No! No they don't! They love me more!" he said. Soarin chuckled.
"Keep on dreamin' boy. You know it's not true," he said, before doing a flip in the air and landing in front of his brother.
Speedy shot him a glare, before landing beside him.
"Boys! Where are you?" Cloudy Quartz yelled from the first floor of the mansion. Soarin and Speedy quickly popped their head over the balcony, and grinned.
"We're right here, Mom!" they shouted back. Cloudy quickly snapper her eyes up, and set them on the two colts. She smiled as she saw them playfully shoving one another.
"Oh there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you! Speedy, it's time for school. Soarin, Spitfire's here to see you," she explained. Soarin and Speedy both shrugged, before spreading their wings and flying down to their mother's level.
"Right, right. She said she would be coming today," Soarin said, before disappearing into the next room. Cloudy looked after her son, before turning to the younger of the two.
"Come on, young boy. Me and your father have to talk to you about something," she said, before pushing the colt into the family room, where Spectrum was waiting for them.
"There you two are! Speedy, come here," Spectrum said from the large couch with a slight frown. Speedy raised his eyebrow, but proceeded to sit on the small seat in front of the dark blue stallion.
"What is it, Dad?" he asked. Spectrum smiled.
"How would you feel about going away for a few years? Going to school away from here?" he asked. Speedy's eyes instantly widened, as he shook his head.
"No! No, why can't I keep going to school here, in Cloudsdale?" he asked. Spectrum just shook his head.
"Because you are my son, and my son must follow my legacy," he said simply. Speedy groaned.
"Gah... I remember Soarin telling me about this talk, the legacy talk. But he's your older son, right? Why can't he follow it? Why do I have to?" he asked. Spectrum quickly looked over to his wife, as both had the same thought.
Speedy was their real son. Their own, flesh and blood, while Soarin wasn't. They had told Soarin about being adopted on his eighth birthday, and he hadn't taken it well. Thankfully though, he had gotten over it in a few months.
Spectrum had already taught Soarin everything he could possibly teach, and now he had to do the same for his real son... it wouldn't feel right if he didn't.
"I went to that school... your brother went to that school... now it's time for you to do the same. Would you really want to risk letting me down?" Spectrum asked. Speedy looked down, and shook his head softly.
"But... But I'll miss you," he said, beginning to tear up. Spectrum tutted, before pulling him in for a strong hug.
"I'm going to miss you too, Speedy... but don't worry, you'll be back in just a few years!" he said. Speedy sniffed.
"How... How many years?" he asked. Spectrum backed away, and chuckles nervously.
"Um... Just... Ten..." he said softly.
"WHAT?!"
"There you are, you big goof! I've been looking everywhere for you!" a firey orange mare called out to a baby-blue stallion. Soarin snorted.
"Oh please, Spitty. Stop acting like some damsel in distress... I know you better than that," he said. Spitfire groaned.
"Yeah yeah... And don't call me Spitty! You know I don't like it," she said. Soarin shrugged.
"Whatever."
"Anyway, you wanna go for a fly and then catch some lunch later?" she asked hopefully. Soarin shrugged.
"Sure, why not?"
Soarin and Spitfire had been childhood best friends; both were on Soarin's father's ariel flight team, The Wonderbolts. The two had been through quite a lot together. Spitfire was Spectrum's favorite. She always had been. Spectrum loved her.
And even though they didn't know it, he expected Soarin to as well.
"Soarin, come in here for a second," Spectrum called out to the baby-blue stallion. Soarin trotted inside the large room, and sat across from his father.
"What is it, Dad?" he asked curiously. Spectrum beckoned him closer with a grave look. Soarin instantly knew something bad was happening, and he was all ears.
"Your grandmother... she's not getting better," Spectrum started. Soarin gasped.
"But the doctors said she would be okay by now!" he exclaimed. Spectrum sadly shook his head.
"My mother was a headstrong woman... I'm afraid she'll take things too far and end up doing something to herself," he said. Soarin put a hoof to his mouth, and shook his head.
"No, Dad. She'll get better, I promise," he said. Spectrum sighed.
"I sure hope so, Soarin. In the meantime, I need to ask you a favor in her consent," he said with a hopeful look. Soarin only nodded.
"Of course, Dad. Anything at all. You name it, I do it," he said.
"I need you to go and pick up a few supplies for her from Ponyville," Spectrum said. Soarin shrugged.
"Sure, I'd be happy to," he said, beginning to get up.
"Oh, one more thing," he said. Soarin stopped, and looked back.
"Yes?"
"I need you to take Speedy with you. And on your way, you need to talk to him about going abroad for school," Spectrum said. Soarin's eyes widened.
"It's that time already? He's going away?" he asked. Spectrum nodded.
"Yeah... he'll be leaving day after tomorrow if all goes as to planned," he said.
"You sprung it on him last minute, didn't you," Soarin asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"Uh... maybe?"
Interesting...
7081065 Well, I sure hope so.
Omgggg its outttt i need to do some stuff but im faving it anyway XDDD (basically I'll read it later)
Great cover art
I can't wait for next chapter
*searchs for new SOARINDASH stories on FIM*
Oh look I found a new one and looks good.
AFTER READING THE FIRST CHAPTER
BROHAM THIS IS AWESSSOME LIKE ME
BUT ANYWAYS THIS IS GR8
YEP THIS IS GONNA GET A LIKE
great chapter as always RD! Loved it! Can't wait for the next one
While this one was short it was sweet. I sure hope the chapters get at least a little longer PWEASE!!!
You cant resist the adorable dashie!
I already know I'm gonna hate Spectrum Skies :<
Also, mad props to whoever made that cover art! Love that bit in the upper right corner, so deep!
7081147 Hope you enjoy it when you do!
7081153
7081269 << This awesome person drew it. XD
7081269 Thank you! (The cover art is AMAZING. Thank you so much, again!)
7081324 Me neither! Glad you like it!
7081410 HAHA thank you so much! XD
7081592 Don't worry. After Rainbow Dash is introduced, things are gonna get a lot more interesting... XD
7081612 Spectrum... is going to be an... interesting character. XD
7081269 << This awesome person drew it. XD
This looks like the start of a great story, I can't wait to read the rest!
Amazing! I look forward to continuing
7081767 NEEP LOVE IT! I already told Midnight and she said shes totally gonna read it XD
7081924 Thank you!
7082032 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed! :3
7082167 Sounds awesome! Can't wait to see what she thinks!
7082253 Lol thanks, though it wasn't completely my original idea. I was inspired by many other real-life instances, and a few movies. XD
Hmm...
Slightly choppy and confusing, but nothing to the point that it's bad. I think you could do a little more showing AND telling when it comes to a story like this. Alright, let's get on to the first chunk of the story (Before the first separation)...
The first section is really great. I honestly think it's my favorite part of the whole thing. Everything just flows so well, and we're introduced to some new characters properly, right off the bat.
Second section was probably the most confusing. We get a new character! Alright, time for some character develop- BAM! Speedy, you have to go away from home to go to school. Okay... what kind of school for what purp- BAM! Ten years, Speedy. Okay, is that how long it normally takes? Or is it just advanced classe- And let's move on! That's pretty much what I got from it. It's just a little sudden and confusing. I have no doubts that it will be explained later in the story, but this is the first chapter. This is what grasps your reader and keeps them in for the ride. Luckily, your premise is very interesting, so you'll keep most of your readers. But I beg you to not make it a habit.
Third, small and not very interesting. It's kind of dry and... just kinda there. There's not much to say about it, it simply exists. Yes, we got that Spectrum has expectations of his son that aren't guaranteed to happen. Spitfire and Soarin are friends, surprise surprise. Not saying it's bad. It looks a little important when remembering the description of the actual story. Without the description, however, it's kinda just... there. I mean, this could've been established later in the story too, so its existence isn't the most important thing. Alright, moving on...
A grandmother! Yet another character introduced and she's sick with...
With...
Moving on, she wants... some sort of supplies that can only be found in Ponyville or something... and then he wants the brother to actually REALLY talk things out to his brother about the school, rather than doing it himself. Wow.
All in all... it's simply average. No, it's not a bad story, yet it wasn't that great either. You give me little reason to want to know these character's stories. If I read a whole story on Soarin, who's personality at the moment is an egotistical pony who's a bit of a jerk, I want to know some info about them. Of course, I don't want to know everything, because the story is supposed to show that through actions, thoughts, words, etc. But I need something to start on so that I WANT to keep reading to know more. If I have nothing to grab onto, it's hard for me to keep going. And the thing is, Spectrum is my favorite character in this. The only reason he is is because I already have a piece to latch onto. I understand some of his personality, and I'd love to see how he reacts to later events in the story and see if he even grows as a character. I'm genuinely interested in him, even if he can be a bit of a jerk. Soarin is just that. A bit of a jerk. His brother is... I don't even know how to feel about his brother. The brother feels like he's also kind of just... there. No reason to like or hate him.
I'm holding onto this story because or two reasons. One, Spectrum is characterized pretty well by you. Two, the concept is very interesting.
I hope you improve and go far as a writer. This was simply constructive criticism. Have fun writing.
Nice! I;m super excited for the new book!
feed me more please
Yet another AMAZING (so far) story by you!!
Can't wait for more~
I can't wait for more!
7086128 Honestly, I really do appreciate the critique. I've never gotten to read criticism on my writing that I can actually take anywhere. It's always either downright hate, or praise. So, thanks for that.
I'm very well aware of everything that you've mentioned. One of my many weaker points as an author is expanding. I tend to rush into things without much description. It's a flaw that I'm trying hard to fix.
As of now, I'm really just introducing characters, and will get to their parts of the story later on in the plotline. Each one has a very specific role, that will end up playing a very important part of the ending. And plus, after Rainbow Dash gets involved, things are definitely going to take a turn in different directions.
I hope you decide to stick with me, and am looking forward to your future comments.
7086647 Thank you! I'm glad you are!
7087019 *Feeds you* better?
7087177 Thanks a lot!~ Hope you decide to stick with the story, and me! ;3
7088106 Yep! Thanks!
7088854 Ah yes, the problem is either trying to expand more or less. Either way, it always end up feeling weird. Some people keep trying to say too much while others don't say enough. Finding the perfect balance is pretty tough to do especially when you're introducing characters. Then you have to worry about your plot and how to give juuuust enough info for your audience to be drawn in. I suggest trying your best to practice getting better in that area, that will ultimately help you in the future.
I'm looking forward to seeing the next chapter. You have something interesting here.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got PONY ART to do!
Are you going to add people's oc's in the story. I'm writing something and I'm adding people, so if you want to be added, put your OC somewhere that I can see them. It'll be cool
WHEN. IS. NEXT. CHAPTER?!
7090949 No, I'm not going to be putting any OC's in this story.
7091143 Woah there, calm down. XD I'm glad you're enjoying anyway, though. The next chapter should be out either later on today, or sometime in the next few days.
7091241 Ok. I was just wondering
7091245
ok
7091570 Woah, I didn't even know you had that account! DX
7091592 Yeah lolz. It's just in case.
This story is interesting!!! I LOVE it! Can't wait to read more!!
7094430 Thank you so much! ^^
Okay time to get back on the meme boat and meme the meme out of this memeing story. Did I say meme?
...
Dang I'm really falling behind in the meme department... Next chapter!
I'm sorry it took me so long to finally get to this. Anyway, you piped my interest even more. I enjoyed the first chapter, even though it felt a little erratic. Anyway I'm currently tracking this story, and will get to reading more chapters eventually. Keep up the good work.
It's friendship letter-
Oh wait. Uh, how about the Soarin diaries?
Dear Diary,
So I went on a fly with Spitfire. We got lunch. Oh! And Speedy was approached by Dad for 'the school'. I'm not sure what happening next.
Soarin Skies
7368783 haha i get it nice lol
From the cover art alone, without reading anything yet, I can tell already I need to prepare myself... If the cover art is any indication, I'll need some tissues along the way. ( For the tears! Dirty minds out there for sure.)