Why?!

Author's Note:

Sorry if it seems rushed but I just wanted to post this little story to entertain a few people out there.

*Twilight is not an alicorn in this story.
*I can proudly say that this story has been edited. (FINALLY)

A pineapple sat upon a table, overlooking the nearby streets and pedestrians. A pineapple with a mind of its own. It knew that its fate was inevitable. So it waited. And waited. And waited once more for somepony to come by and take it home to eat it. But nopony did. Thus, the pineapple sat in fear, not knowing whether it'll be put out of its misery now, or rot away later.

Twilight on the other hoof sat nearby, reading from her spell book. She spent half an hour looking for some spells to use on the pineapple and had already listed a few spells on a piece of paper. When she thought she had enough spells to start experimenting, she closed the book and walked over to the pineapple. With the list of spells placed next to the pineapple, Twilight soon began experimenting.

She first attempted to use a duplication spell on the pineapple. It was successful, however, the duplicate pineapple began to rot a few seconds later. The rotting pineapple gave off a putrid smell, forcing Twilight to neutralize the smell with another spell.

Twilight had then decided to use an enlargement spell. Unfortunately, the spell didn't work and instead, made the pineapple grow wings. Twilight checked the spell book once more to see if she had made any mistakes while casting the spell. Apparently, she had followed the procedures exactly.

Twilight shrugged it off and proceeded to use an enchantment spell. It would have been considered successful had it not given the pineapple a pair of eyes instead. At this point, Twilight decided to end her experiment early to observe the new pineapple. It was truly a strange sight to see.

Wings on a pineapple was one thing, but eyes on a pineapple was on a completely different level of weird. Twilight walked around the pineapple, observing it at any angle possible. The wings on the pineapple appeared to be a cosmetic look rather than real wings. The eyes, however, were as real as can be. Twilight watched as its eyes followed her wherever she walked.

Slightly disturbed, she decided to reverse the effects of the spells to turn the pineapple back to normal. Rather than changing the pineapple back to normal however, the situation only got worse. The enlargement spell that Twilight had used earlier had finally decided to work, thus tripling the size of the pineapple. Not only that, the duplicate pineapple from earlier had also gained the same effects. And to top it all off, the enchantment spell brought both pineapples to life.

Twilight gawked at what she had just witnessed. Two giantic pineapples with eyes and wings (which were now real) had now been brought to life and were prepared to roam and cause chaos. How she had let her experiment go south so fast was beyond her comprehension. The two pineapples used their wings to fly off into the skies, disappearing behind the clouds.

Twilight looked up and tried her best to spot the two pineapples, but to no avail. Having the thought of two pineapples roaming freely in the skies of Equestria was terrifying. She had no clue what those pineapples were capable of doing with their current powers. Then, there was a brilliant flash of light in the sky which temporarily blinded everypony in the area. What Twilight saw next was absolutely horrifying.

She saw the pineapples coming back down to the ground, but not in the form that she expected. The two pineapples had somehow merged together to create 2 pairs of eyes and 4 wings. In addition, their size was QUADRUPLED making them much more intimidating to look at. And there was one thing. The one thing that Twilight wished the pineapples didn't have.

A mouth.

A full fledged mouth that could be used to swallow ponies whole. Twilight attempted to stop the pineapple in its tracks before it could cause any damage. She tried to make the pineapple burst into flames, but it appeared as though the pineapple had the ability to void all spells casted on it.

The pineapple flew up into the air, and like a bird, swooped down and plucked her up by her tail. Twilight flailed around, shouting several threats at the pineapple as it landed back on the ground. The pineapple simply slurped her up as a response to said threats.

Twilight tumbled into the pineapple and landed in one of its many disgusting and sticky puddles of pineapple juice. She shivered at the feeling and quickly jumped out of the puddle, only to slip on the wet pineapple floor and fall into the same puddle face first.

Twilight groaned as she raised her head out of the puddle. Traversing through the pineapple was going to be tough if these were the types of conditions that she would have to face. Looking around the area she was currently in, she figured she was in the pineapple's stomach. She illuminated the semi-dark surroundings with her horn and began her journey through the pineapple to find a way out, or a way to destroy the pineapple.

Actually, on second thought, destroying the pineapple would probably be better for obvious reasons.

Twilight thought hard about how she was going to destroy the pineapple from the inside. She referenced a couple books from the past and quickly made a mental list. She spent a few minutes crossing out most of her ideas until she finally settled on her last one: finding and destroying its heart (or core).

Twilight wasn't sure where the core was located exactly, but she knew it was somewhere in here. She shined her light all around the stomach until she found a tunnel leading out. With no other way to go, Twilight headed toward the tunnel, hoping it was the right way.

While walking through the pineapple, Twilight could feel a bit of uneasiness. The ground would occasionally shake a bit which would cause her to slide around on the floor, forcing her to get as low to the floor as possible. That is, without having her body touch the wet floor other than her hooves. Once the vibrations passed, she would climb her way back up to her standing stance and continue on her way.

After walking for some time, Twilight had realized something. The path she had gone was not leading her towards the core. She knew this due to the ridiculous curves and turns within the tunnels she was venturing through. She must have taken a wrong turn at the fork and decided to run back, only to find out the way back was blocked by huge pineapple cubes.

Twilight sighed and continued on her previous path, hoping that her realization was actually false... which, surprisingly, turns out it was. She walked into a large room with an abundance of green leaves, pineapple furniture was set up nearby and the pineapple core was floating just above her, dripping some juice onto her mane.

Twilight walked around the room to see the core at a better angle. When she had found the perfect spot, she decided to take the chance to fire at the core. Charging up her magic, she concentrated on aiming at the core and making sure it wouldn't miss. She aimed a bit more until finally, she released the shot. And to the unicorn's dismay, the shot had missed, causing the concentrated magic to ricochet and hit one of the pineapple furniture. Nothing happened to that piece of furniture, leading Twilight to believe that the pineapple's ability to void spells worked in here as well.

Twilight tried to think of another method of destroying the core. She first tried to knock down the core with the furniture. The furniture, however, was rooted into the ground. She then tried jumping up to grab the core. Of course, nothing in the room was tall enough to reach it.

Then, she had a great idea. An idea that was incredibly stupid. Twilight quickly gathered as many leaves as she could and tied the ends together. When she thought she had enough, she threw away all the extra leaves and took her new weapon with her.

If you can't destroy it, tickle it!

Using her magic to lift the leaves up to the core, Twilight proceeded to tickle the core the best she could.

Soon, she began to feel the same vibrations from earlier, except they were a lot stronger this time. Twilight anchored herself to the ground and continued to tickle the core. The vibrations were starting to be much more violent, almost causing Twilight to fall. But she stayed strong and kept on tickling.

The core had begun to turn bright red along with the furniture and walls. A cracking sound erupted throughout the pineapple. Twilight knew the pineapple wouldn't be able to take it anymore and braced herself for impact. She could feel herself being thrown off of her hooves as the pineapple literally exploded into millions of pineapples. Soon enough, Twilight found herself back on the streets of Ponyville with tiny pineapples scattered all around her.

Twilight looked up to see everypony in Ponyville staring at her in shock and disbelief. Looking to her left, she saw Spike running up to her with some towels.

"Twilight, are you alright?" said Spike. He handed Twilight a towel for her to use.

Twilight waved a hoof and rejected the towel. "Yeah, I'm fine... just need a long shower and some sleep."

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Comments ( 12 )

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GrandpaTurtle

GrandpaTurtle #1 · Feb 28th, 2016 · · ·

Byootiful

Seether00

Seether00 #2 · Feb 28th, 2016 · · ·

Wat?

You know, I wrote something similar but it was a small part of story. It was a long time ago.

Baritone

Baritone #3 · Feb 28th, 2016 · · ·

It's in the title...but I'm so confused as to what just happened.

ScrambledCrackers

ScrambledCrackers #4 · Feb 28th, 2016 · · ·

That was weird. I'm not quite sure what happened, but it was certainly an interesting little trip.

I think the author was on drugs at time of writing.

Unidentified

Unidentified #5 · Feb 28th, 2016 · 1 · ·

6980884 No drugs were involved in the making of this story. Just pineapples.

Briarpelt

Briarpelt #6 · Feb 28th, 2016 · 1 · ·

This is a good (and certainly random) story, but there were some flaws. Don't read on if you don't want constructive criticism, but if you do (even if you don't intend to edit this story; my advice applies to all writing), then please at least think about what I have to say.

Ok, here goes:

In the 8th paragraph, you suddenly switch to present tense and then back to past tense. Also, it's spelled "uneasiness", not "uneasyness".

There were also some flaws with the writing itself. In places, the story felt almost like a summary. For example:

Unfortunately, the attempt failed which led to Twilight being eaten by the giant pineapple.

You might try adding more action. Describe what Twilight does to stop the pineapple, and explain how it eats her.
"The pineapple was getting closer, looming threateningly over her. Twilight fired off a laser spell, but it bounced off the creature's spiky hide! Distracted by the failure of her magic, Twilight didn't notice the pineapple opening its mouth and leaning down over her until it was too late. She shrieked as its giant, yellow lips closed over her and a cold, juicy tongue forced her down its throat."
Something like that might sound better, although that particular quote is somewhat overdramatic to help demonstrate my point.

This leads me to my next criticism. The beginning of the story makes it clear that we are supposed to see the story from Twilight's perspective, in sentences such as:

Slightly disturbed, she decided to reverse the effects of the spell to turn the pineapple back to normal.

His is a good sentence, and a clear indication of how Twilight feels about this. However, there are few like it throughout the story, where the audience gets some insight into Twilight's thoughts, feelings, and reactions. You tell us what she is doing, but not why or how she does it. Show us how she feels about all this. Is she confused about why her spells went wrong? Is she scared she'll be digested? Is she, perhaps, mildly amused by this strange turn of events?

Show us her thoughts, too. Is she trying to find a solution? What does she think will happen if she finds the core? What books might be cycling through her head as she guages her situation? Maybe throw in a line or two of italicized text, indicating a word-for-word thought of hers. Have her mutter to herself, and tell us what she's saying.
"'That's interesting,' said Twilight. 'The enlargement spell isn't supposed to act that way... did I cast it wrong?'"

Of course, there were many highlights, too. I hope you don't think me too harsh. You have much better grammar than many I've seen, both on and off this website. I criticize because I see potential for improvement; I wouldn't bother if it was a hopeless wreck. This was indeed very funny, and I think it has the ability to set many more laughing, if only it had some polishing.

Unidentified

Unidentified #7 · Feb 28th, 2016 · · ·

6981218 Ah! Finally, some criticism on one of my stories!

In the 8th paragraph, you suddenly switch to present tense and then back to past tense. Also, it's spelled "uneasiness", not "uneasyness".

Really? Lemme check. Oh, I see it now. Don't know how those two slipped through!

There were also some flaws with the writing itself. In places, the story felt almost like a summary. For example:
Unfortunately, the attempt failed which led to Twilight being eaten by the giant pineapple.
You might try adding more action. Describe what Twilight does to stop the pineapple, and explain how it eats her.
"The pineapple was getting closer, looming threateningly over her. Twilight fired off a laser spell, but it bounced off the creature's spiky hide! Distracted by the failure of her magic, Twilight didn't notice the pineapple opening its mouth and leaning down over her until it was too late. She shrieked as its giant, yellow lips closed over her and a cold, juicy tongue forced her down its throat."
Something like that might sound better, although that particular quote is somewhat overdramatic to help demonstrate my point.

I'll admit, I was a bit lazy when typing this portion of the story. Description wasn't really a main objective of mine at the time (However, it was a side-option) so I just typed up whatever would fit best.

Funny thing is, before I decided to submit the story, I looked at that particular paragraph once more. I wasn't sure if I wanted to add more description or if I should leave it alone. Of course, I chose the second option due to me being lazy at the moment. I may go back to add more description but for now, it'll stay the same.

And I'm also very tempted to use your example. But I won't because I'm not that type of person.

This leads me to my next criticism. The beginning of the story makes it clear that we are supposed to see the story from Twilight's perspective, in sentences such as:
Slightly disturbed, she decided to reverse the effects of the spell to turn the pineapple back to normal.
His is a good sentence, and a clear indication of how Twilight feels about this. However, there are few like it throughout the story, where the audience gets some insight into Twilight's thoughts, feelings, and reactions. You tell us what she is doing, but not why or how she does it. Show us how she feels about all this. Is she confused about why her spells went wrong? Is she scared she'll be digested? Is she, perhaps, mildly amused by this strange turn of events?
Show us her thoughts, too. Is she trying to find a solution? What does she think will happen if she finds the core? What books might be cycling through her head as she guages her situation? Maybe throw in a line or two of italicized text, indicating a word-for-word thought of hers. Have her mutter to herself, and tell us what she's saying.
"'That's interesting,' said Twilight. 'The enlargement spell isn't supposed to act that way... did I cast it wrong?'"

The "why" definitely needs some work on, I agree. The "how"... Like I said previously, description wasn't a main objective of mine. I'll add some description in when I have some time.

Her emotions? Scared? Maybe. Confused? Somewhat. Amused? Kind of. I always thought that she was a bit annoyed after being swallowed by the pineapple. I guess I forgot to plug in that element of the story.

Her thoughts? Yeah, I guess I probably should have done something like that at one point in the story. Though, I wanted to use the narration to pull off a similar aspect to that. I could try to add in some hints of what Twilight was feeling by using body language or something similar but I don't want to use her own thoughts to interrupt the flow of the story (If there truly was any in the first place).

Is she trying to find a solution? Of course! If she's caught up in a problem she would obviously try to figure out a solution to said problem! I thought that was something that didn't need explanation!

What does she think will happen if she finds the core? Well, that's it. She finds it so she has a new task of destroying it. If destroying the core is what you're referring to... Well, it's not like Twilight expects the pineapple to dance once the core is destroyed. If she's going to destroy it, she expects the pineapple to collapse to the ground lifeless as a result. I thought that was self-explanatory as well.

Books? BOOKS?! Ah, sounds like a good idea to add in. I'll consider it.

As for the suggestions to add some speech and thought in the story... Again, I didn't want to disrupt the flow of the story and decided to just let the narration take over. I originally intended the last two lines to be the only dialogue in the entire story.

Of course, there were many highlights, too. I hope you don't think me too harsh. You have much better grammar than many I've seen, both on and off this website. I criticize because I see potential for improvement; I wouldn't bother if it was a hopeless wreck. This was indeed very funny, and I think it has the ability to set many more laughing, if only it had some polishing.

Trust me, I've seen harsh before. Both directed towards me and at someone else. I actually consider you to be one of the nicer critics out there.

Of course, the main goal of the story was to be some random and silly one-shot to entertain others. Glad to see that it's successful!

Thanks for taking the time to criticize this story and finding its flaws. When the time comes, I'll definitely add in more detail into the story, but for now, I'll leave it like this. I just don't have the energy in me to edit stuff right now!

Nova Arc