3. Dear Discord, This is awesome!
"Two down, five to go," Discord grinned, juggling the scrolls as he did. The ones so far were just too amusing! There was passion, chaos, betrayal — everything that went in a good movie. And above all, there was love… so much love stored within, that Discord could easily use them for changeling fishing. With such bait, he was likely to catch at least a crate-full, possibly a Queen.
"I really shouldn't be doing this," he said halfheartedly. "Then again, one more can't hurt. Three’s the charm, after all."
Four of the scrolls vanished, leaving one on the air. Discord grabbed it greedily, then unrolled it with one swift action. To his amazement a small brown pouch fell out to the floor. This, he did not expect. Cautiously, the draconequus took the pouch and peeled it open. Inside were a small sparkling emerald, part of a purple ribbon, a white fluffy bunny tail, a hoof bracelet of solid gold, and a the page of a book.
"Daring Do and the quest for the sapphire stone?" Discord blinked. Tears formed on the top of his eyes. "I never thought anypony would care so much to send me all this..."
Still sniffling, he looked at the scroll... And on cringed in horror. This was the worst hoof writing he had ever seen!
Dear Discord,
This is awesome! Oh my gosh! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me! Oh! My! Gosh! Ever since your lame cool reign of chaos, last year, I've been trying everything to grab your attention. Boy, you really are slow dumb difficult to have your attention grabbed! Or maybe you were just testing me? That's cool. I can totally understand it — you want nothing but the best, and let me tell you, I am the best! By the stars, you'll never find anypony more loyal and dependable and fast and cool and the other thing (you know — the thing thing).
Also, I don't snore! but if you think it's a plus I so much do! Rainbow 'Snoring' Dash they call me, but only if you find it cool.
So, you and Luna, eh? Didn't see that coming. I guess that's why she never shows up at the Galas. Always did wonder about that. Am totally cool with you and Celestia getting back and all, and don't you deny it — I could see you exchange glances miles away. Just, you know, give Fluttershy a chance, okay? I know she's all shy and really tries to hide it, but she really is into you. You should have seen her after the last Gala! She actually flew to my place, FLEW, just to cry her eyes out. She went on and on and on about how it was a mistake to invite Tree Hugger, and how she was afraid you weren't going to speak to her ever again.
Anyway, I've brought you everything you asked for (please don't tell Fluttershy, she thinks I trimmed Angel's tail by accident), plus a bracelet for Screwball. Please see that she gets it, ok? And let me know what she thinks. But don't tell her it's from me. Actually, tell her it's from me and tell me what she says! Just, you know, do something! Between you and me, I really fell hard for her, like really really hard! I blame thank you for that. If it weren't for your silly games hiding the elements of Harmony and all, I would never have bumped into her. She's so cool, like really, and she could be so fast when she wants to. It's clear she takes her great looks from Princess Celestia.
And don't worry about the lessons. I've already been giving Screwball plenty. Quite the quick learner you have. That's why it's so cool that you gave me your blessing! Screwball has been telling me about chaos, and that it’s expected that you ask for a gift before agreeing to the marriage. Bet you thought I couldn't get all those things, eh? Still, don't expect me to start calling you "dad". That would be mega uncool.
Also, no chaos creatures at the wedding! Well, other than you, Deliria and Screwball. I saw, what that Smooze did at the Gala, and am not having the same happen at my wedding! Besides, this will be a cloud wedding, so anything that doesn't fly will fall through anyway. Also, we have already discussed things with Screwball, and she has agreed to go ahead with a traditional pegasus wedding, which means she'll be wearing wings during the ceremony (at least).
And I'll have you know our love life will work out just fine! Like, we've been seeing each other for months and things are great! So don't you start scaring her with words of doom and gloom!
Anyway, must rush. I have to catch Twilight to organize the wedding, and Rarity to take care of the clothes. I'll also be inviting the Princesses, so don't you start anything! If you humiliate Screws on her wedding day, I'll turn you to stone, then smash you into a thousand little pieces!
Cya!
RD
P.S. Screwball will move in with me after the wedding. My place is huge, and has the best view in Equestria. Not sure I should be telling you this, but my folks are quite rich. Besides, I'll provide for everything Screws might need. It's a sure thing that I'll become an active Wonderbolt in an year, tops. Also, if I manage to convince her, Screws might, as well.
For several minutes, Discord just stood there, incapable of movement. What had he just read? This made no sense! It was impossible, unbelievable, infuriating! The scrolls were supposed to be fun, and the first two had been... more or less. This last one, however, filled him with undying rage.
"Screwball!" the draconequus bellowed as loud as he could muster, causing his entire home to treble. "Is there anything you wish to tell me?!"
Stats
Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
753 users online
1,027,139 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
....... Dash. Something you're not telling anyone?
6864919 They are married. :)
6865451 Whatever gave you that idea??O:)
So, what, it WAS Dash?
...Or what?
Ahh, so discord is a farther after all,
I admit the other ones where starting to get a little cringe-worthy, mostly due to considering the fallout, This one is hilarious.
Angry dad discord is best discord.
Oh. I retract my question from the previous chapter. Also, Screwball, the earth pony Wonderbolt! Someone needs to write a one shot about her getting in (She can drive everyone mad, so she'll get in by default). Also, chaos tricks.
6865668 It wasn't Dash, Rainbow Dash got confused thought Discord was giving his blessing for her to marry Screwball
6865733
Excuse me, I have to see a hyena about a laugh.
*leaves for a moment*
....
I din't expect that positive answer from Dash, I mean DAMN GURL!! Jump to a lake on the Frozen North to cool of.
Wait wait wait... I'm so confused. This starts off sounding like Dash is happy about becoming Discord's girlfriend. Then it sounds like Dash is okay with him getting back with Celestia, and she wants him to give Fluttershy a chance too? Then she goes on about wanting to marry Screwball? Either Dash is extremely polyamorous or I'm misssing something.
6865467 sidefiction. Must.
Can I be the Priest?
If you want, I shall PM you the most sarcastic marriage ever.
6865643 Well, there still ate four scrolls to go :) We'll see :)
And thanks for finding that. Duly corrected :D
Luna, eh? Not impossible...
6865724 indeed, he is :) He's also surprisingly slow :D
6865727 Ok, I get the hint... Maybe sometime in the next few months :P
(It's always just "one more short", isn't it? :))
6865733
6865853
Yep. Typical Dash got everything wrong, and now is off making wedding plans. :)
Apparently, Discord created more chaos than he bargained for. O:)
6865888 You know Dash - always extremes with her :)
Although, in this case she has secretly been hoping for this for quite a while.
6865927 The second part is easy - trumpets, trumpets everywhere :) Not difficult to tell that others have received the letter, especially if one doesn't live alone :)
As for the first - life is a mysterious thing :)
6866034 Dash just got mixed up and thought the letter was Discord giving his blessing for her to marry Screwball, thus Rainbiw's assuring him she is good enough to be his daughter in law :)
6866097 ok... I'll get to that sometime... :P
6866293 Well, that seems to make sense, except for the snoring part. Why would it matter to Dash if Discord thought snoring was a good thing unless she was planning on sleeping with him? That part make no sense. Also, Dash did say about him getting back with Celestia AND giving Fluttershy a chance. So my polyamorous comment still stands.
Well my theory just got sunk...
Dang.
I have two theories now regarding the identity of the orginal author.
Number One: The mane six got REALLY drunk one night and wrote a hybrid letter confessioning of their feelings toward Discord.
Number Two: Its actually part of a crazy backup masterplan by Starlight to destablize the Mane Six by using Discord by proxy. OR Number 2.5: Where after she managed to locate and then to proceed to Stalks the heck out each of them. She witnesses the Gala incident. Is bewildered and yet intrgued. Emphatizing with him regarding her own past moments of jealousy. She then "studies" him as well. In the processs falls in love with him. To point she was about to confess in her inital letter, but chickened out in the last moment. Instead she creates a false confession based on her findings of Mane Six. If this prior the finale then she is still in deep denial about it & possibly embarressed. If post finale: then she is even more embarresesed and will flip or trigger out when caught.
6866296 Do you take this bodaciously Awesome Pegasus as your wife?
I do.
Do you take this psycopathic abomination of nature who is holding me upside don as your wife?
I do.
Any objections?
YES!
Great! You may kiss the groom. Bride. Bride groom. Groom bride. NO idea how to say this. Just kiss. And get me right side up. My head hurts.
6866255 I actually did not hint anything with that. I really meant somebody (not necessarily you). But if you want do it, then yaaay!
6866362 The snoring is only because she wants to be on his good side (also all the corrections in the letter :))
She isn't for him getting back with Celestia, she is urging him not to :P
6866397 *Dramatic music* :)
6866684 Quite good theories :) Particularly like theory 1 :) That's something that could happen. Can't comment on 2, though.
I guess the truth will be known soon :)
Many thanks for the great theories :D
6867038 oh dear...
6867296 :D
6867785 Definitely not!
6867614
6867614 Oh yes. I like ships.
How exactly does dash plan on turning Discord into stone?
Also Discodad moment
6867952 One doesn't dare ask such questions... :)
6867985 I dare because I'm still mad about how Celestia handled Tirek, smart enough to have thought of an improvement to her original plan, and ambitious enough to take justice into my own hands.
Who's Deliria?
Also, it's totally Spike.
6868101 :) Deliria is my take on Dscord's second daughter. (I still have issues with it being Screw Loose.)
For the Sandman fans - the reference is true :)
6865467 your point?
This is interesting, very interesting.
6868375 They are highly unlikely to send a letter to Discord :)
Also it's someone in Ponyville.
6868382 In that case, it's clearly one of the cake twins.
Welp, I'm shipping ScrewDash now. This is gonna ruin me for a few weeks.
....
*begins to bang head repeatedly against wall*
Didn't see that coming.
Good thing to know that something can still surprise even the arguably oldest being on the entire planet
6870821 I dunno... I'd can ship it. It'd be fun. And... HA! I like this one the best so far.
I should summarize this.
LoL
Alright this discredits Rainbow Dash as the author.
Who is we? The sentence excludes Screwball so is Rainbow Dash talking about her sister Deliria, Fluttershy, who?
~Leonzila
Gotta say, I was expecting Rainbow Dash to be the admirer, but this took me completely by surprise. Also, no offense, but I'm more into Rainbow being with Fluttershy than Screwball.
Hey Lise, Pyro here. My gosh, I didn't realize you were such a fun author! I'm loving this series, especially with the amount of drama and conspiracy going on! Though now I need to learn who Deliria is, she sounds cool!
....heeheeheee! That was beautiful! Oh Discord! Heeheeheee! The one form of chaos you never saw coming! Hahahaheeeeheee!