The three scrolls squirmed on the table as Discord approached menacingly, holding a giant fork.
"You better not disappoint me," he warned. The last two had left a foul taste in his mouth. The way the draconequus saw it, these had better fix that, or—
"Hmm, Dad," a depressed voice said. Instantly, a second head appeared on Discord, facing the source of the voice.
"Deliria, sweetie." He forced the largest smile he was capable of. "You look well."
The creature only growled in response. Like Screwball, she was a chaos pony. Unlike her sister, however, she was neither cheerful nor chaotic. Dark blue coat with a mane of glimmering green, she was the embodiment of the Aurora Borealis, and just as moody as her mother.
"Want to have fun with your old dad?" the draconequus offered, reverting to his normal form. Any other day he would grumble at her for being so orderly, but the thought of losing both his daughters on the same day, even if it was April's Fools, was a bit too much.
"Whatever." Deliria sighed in response then slowly made her way to her room. As usual, she walked instead of floating. Five hundred years and she still hadn't gotten through her rebellious phase. If it weren't for the nightmares she brought to ponies, Discord would seriously doubt she was his own daughter.
"Come on!" He teleported her to the couch next to him. "It’ll be fun!"
"Dad, I don't like f—" she began with the most depressed expression possible.
"Here, pick one!" Discord shoved a scroll into her hooves. The chaos pony just looked at it, not budging. "Err, you're supposed to open it, sweetheart," the draconequus suggested patiently.
Left with no alternative, Deliria slowly unrolled the scroll. The moment she did, an explosion of confetti and streamers emerged from within, covering her and Discord.
"That's it!" Deliria growled, throwing the scroll on the floor. "I'm going to my room!" She vanished in a flash of light.
"Well..." Cautiously, Discord took the scroll, brushing the confetti off. "At least she teleported this time." He started reading.
Discord,
Noooooooo! Why oh why oh why?! Married? Divorced twice?? With children?! Oh, sad saddenings, why are all the good ones taken!? Cheese hasn't written in months, King Grover is a statue, the Smooze is engaged, and now I learn you were married to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna? My dreams are so totally crushed! All this time I was so convinced you were a virgin. The way you grumble, the way you joke, your fake bravado, oh and how shy you are in front of Fluttershy. It's soooooo cute. You have no idea how difficult it’s been to keep myself from jumping right up and hugging you!
Of course I know you noticed me, silly. I thought you were just playing hard to get. You know — I make some chaos, you pretend to ignore it, I make some more chaos, you look the other way. And to think I was afraid I might scare you off. Jokes on me, right? Talking about jokes, I really liked the ones at the Gala! They were super duper mega funny. You really shouldn't feel bad, Maud has way more practice. Take it from me, being made a statue has a bad effect on any performance skills. I remember when I accidentally mistook a huge bowl of dough for my bed. Took me hours to chew myself out once I woke up. And after that my jokes were bad for minutes! (You're picturing it in your mind, aren't you? Naughty Discord, you.)
Also, why didn't you tell me Screwball and Deliria were your daughters? I hang out with them all the time! Well, Screwball hangs with Dash mostly. Oh, and I got an invitation to their wedding! You don't have to worry about a thing! The party is going to be my best one yet! I might even talk with Princess Luna into letting us have a dream party. Deliria would simply love that! Did I tell you we hang out a lot when I dream? She's really funny!
I didn't know Screwball wanted party lessons! *gasp* That would be sooo cool! With her and Rainbow Dash, we'll make the greatest prank ever! Just one thing, though, why do Deliria and Princess Luna act so weirdly each time they meet? Always "Hey" and "Hey", then they sit down and look in different directions before one of them leaves. What's with that?
Thank you for the clouds! I really liked the first one! I would never have thought of mixing roses with candles. Absolutely delicious! I'm so making a cake of that for Screwball and Dash's wedding! Don't tell them, though! It'll be a surprise!
Are you sure you aren't a virgin? Maybe Screwball and Deliria were actually adopted, but never told you about it? (Better ask them just in case. It might turn out you are their adopted father.) Because if you are a virgin, I'm totally inviting you on a date! (Don't tell anyone, but I have Sugarcube Corner to myself once a week, so we can have it all to ourselves!) Also, no need to be shy — I'll take good care of you. Nothing but the best for my little Disky. Oh, and I've already promised Screwball to bring you back home before midnight. Maybe in a few months we might stay out for longer, but for now I don't want to rush you. You'll tell me when you’re ready.
Brown?! You’re giving me a chocolate cloud? That's so sweet of you! I really love those. You know what I was thinking? Maybe I can help you improve the recipe. Chocolate clouds are good and all, but after a while they become so standard. You should spice things up a bit every now and again! Maybe add a few chilli peppers, or a lemon. Mustard! That would be great! Chocolate cloud mustard!
Anyway, must rush now. Spike is looking miserable and I simply have to cheer him up!
See you!
Pinkie Pie
P.S. Gummy is a little protective of me, so if we start dating, he might act a bit rashly or something. Don't worry, though. I won't let him hurt you. Just don't make any sudden moves when he's around and never ever ever remain alone with him.
Discord's wings fell off his body. What did he just read?! This was way weirder than the first letter! There was so much chaos in Pinkie's words that he felt he was looking into a mirror. But what, by Tartarus, gave her the impression he was a virgin? He had mastered the art of seduction to the fullest!
"Wars have been fought because of me!" he said loudly, paw in the air. "Wars have been fought for me and against me!" Or had they really? Maybe he was just deluding himself?
"Deliria, sweetie," he shouted. "Did you adopt me?"
Pinkie Pie really messed with his head there.
6875567 :) She's the one and only :)
Well I can't wait to see if one from Celestia happens to show up for no apparent reason...
.... how does a DAUGHTER adopt a dad.
My newest accusation is Winona the dog.
6875570 You sure Pinkie and Deliria aren't a thing?
How the hell did Pinkie got a wedding invitation? Didn't Rainbow just revealed it to Discord?
Also I am absolutely unable to imagine Pinkie getting out of a bunch of dough in a naughty way. I tried, but it's impossible.
And Disky? Why not Dissy? Sounds better in my humble opinion.
And before I forget is there any picture or drawing or anything about Deliria?
The last one is from Fluttershy. I'm calling that now. She isn't "The one," but I'm going to make a guess that none of the arrived scrolls are. Whoever 'The One' is will come after all the currently arrived scrolls. That's my guess.
6875609 What's with the desire for Celestia replies? Can't you leave the poor Princess alone? She's been through enough already... :)
Nut-shot to the pride by the sweet one, BOOM CHAKA LAKA!!
6875612 Only Pinkie knows. :)
6875645 Definitely not.
6875654 Nope, they aren't :)
6875699 Most of it being her own damn fault...
6875658 The scrolls came in the course of 16 hours. Also Pinky knows about parties before they happen :)
I'd be very surprised if there are Deliria pictures, especially since I don't think she is established canon (official or fan). I picture her as a pony goth version of Delirium (Sandman) with midnight blue coat and green aurora Borealis mane :)
6875663 :) I can only say that you'll find out soon :D
6875681 *shocked* :)
6875722 So THAT's why I had no idea who you were talking about at first. I was worried I missed something.
And actually Pinkie knowing about parties even before those who want that party is suprisingly easy to imagine. I still had to ask though.
Also, be clear with me. It was that Grumpy Cat pony from Manehattan who wrote the letter now didn't he?
6875740 :) I can confirm it's definitely not him :)
6875749 Dang at least play along
Oh, well, we still have a lot of canditates. Chrissy, because she was living in ponywille since her defeat as a random background pony, Sombra, because his spirit came back to haunt the mane 6, but not even Discord can notice him, or Tirek, because reasons.
(now someone needs to write a story about Sombra coming back and trying to haunt ponies)
6875711 Oh well.
This is funny, I really enjoy reading the story keep it up! Much Chaos in every chapter. Also LOVE the Daughters, I have not heard of Deliria and really like the character.
The last line got me.
Another excellent chapter!! Well done Lise!
6876052 :) Thanks. Glad you enjoy it :)
Might write something on Screwball at some point. Possibly Deliria. :)
6876296 Pinkie letters are hazardous to one's health :)
6876645 :D Thankee, as always, Neon :)
6877468 :) Real life is just strange that way :)
6877545 *passes out*
6877751 Guess I should learn to draw and make a sketch of Deliria... *sighs*
6877834 *Leg Twitches with a little snore.*
... I don't know what I should have expected from Pinkie, but this was definitely something along those lines
Deliria sounds like fun to be around.
And... as always, what the heck Pinkie?
What. The. Hay?
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li7z4c8vr91qafrh6.jpg
I think one of this was meant to be she or her.
Although, this is Discord who we are talking, he might very well have teleported himself next to a copy of him and it would still make sense.
~Leonzilla
Gotta say, I felt that Discord would enjoy that letter, but the one thing I was expecting him to comment on was:
"Smooze didn't tell me he was engaged".
Wait why would it matter so much to Pinkie that discord is a virgin or not?
XD HAHAHA WTF