This Writing Business

Author's Note:

This is set before the Season Five finale!
This isn't my first fanfic, but it is my first that I'm sharing, so please! Go ahead and enjoy.
(and if there are any mistakes I or my editor missed then I do apologize and I'll fix as soon as I know.)

“O-kay!” Twilight Sparkle chirruped cheerily. “Today's the day!” The lavender alicorn trotted over to her desk, and carefully straightened out the piece of paper and bottles of ink that sat on top. “I'm going to do it! With no help at all!”

Spike sat off to the side, perched on an empty shelf, eyeing her doubtfully. “Uhm, Twilight? Are you sure about this? I don't really think writing is your thing.” The purple and green baby dragon coughed. “Seeing as how I do pretty much all your writing for you,” he muttered to himself.

“Don't be ridiculous, Spike!” Twilight said, dismissing his concerns with a simple wave of her hoof. “You heard what Twinkleshine said!”

“Actually, no, I didn't,” Spike said dryly. “Because I wasn't there.”

“Well – psh – she said, and I quote, 'Since you read so many books, Twilight, you must have what it takes to be a writer! Everypony knows that a good writer reads lots of books!'”

“Really.”

“C'mon, Spike!” Twilight laughed. “There's no harm in trying it out, right? I mean, how hard could it be?”

“You're the kind of pony that reads all the books, not writes them,” Spike pointed out.

“So?”

“So there!”

“Look, Spike,” Twilight sighed, getting a tad more serious. “I am going to write a book. I'm gonna do it. And I'm gonna succeed while doing it, because you know what? I really don't think that writing is harder than being a princess!”

“You're gonna bite off more than you can chew,” Spike warned.

“Well, I'm doing it anyway! I've written tons of letters to Princess Celestia, right? That's more than enough practice!”

“I wrote those letters!” Spike said hotly.

“Well, I thought up all the words, and that's what really matters!”

“Fine! Write your story! Humph.” Spike crossed his arms and looked pointedly at another spot in the crystal library.

Twilight sighed, and picked up a quill pen in her magic, deciding to buy Spike an ice-cream or something later to make up for the whole shouting match. She lightly dipped the pen in the ink, and poised it over the paper. She blinked.

“Shoot, I need an idea.”

“See?” Spike grumbled.

“Hold on and let me think!” The purple pony looked up to the ceiling, tapping a hoof on her chin, and rooting through her brain for some kind of seed to plant. She started to mutter to herself. “I could write about romance or something. . . lots of ponies like those kinds of things. . . I could totally ship – no wait, that's a bad idea, and so weird. . . um. . . I could write nonfiction. . . .” She made a strange-sounding horse noise. “Spike, should I write non-fiction or fiction?”

“It's your book, not mine,” he replied.

“You're no help at all,” Twilight muttered to herself. She resumed digging around in her mind. “Maybe I could write about. . . no wait a minute, all the non-fiction I know is all stuff I've read out of books, I can't write what's already been written. . . hmm. . . I don't think anyone's written anything about me. . . I could write an autobiography. . . that seems awfully self-centered though, I don't know if I wanna do that. . . . errrrrr.” She sighed. “Maybe I should write fiction. Alright, what to write that's fiction?”

“It's supposed to be your idea,” Spike commented.

“That was a rhetorical question!” Twilight huffed. “Alright now, shipping is out of the question. . . for now. . . hmmm. . . maybe. . . . I could write about. . . . . . . . . .

“ARGH, what the heck is there to write about!?” Twilight yelled angrily.

“Aw c'mon Twilight,” Spike sighed. “Just do somethin' el-”

“NO!” Twilight snapped. “I'M GOING TO DO THIS! I just – I just need a walk, that's it! I'll just go for a walk. . .” She trotted quickly out the door. “Juuuuust need a walk. . . refresh my brain. . . yep, it'll all be good!”

“Well, that's just great!” Spike grumbled after she had left. “Next thing ya know, it'll be the Smarty-Pants episode all over again!”

* * * * * *

Twilight Sparkle quickly and nervously trotted along the path leading into Ponyville. As it was the dead of afternoon, few ponies were out and about. Most of them were inside, most likely eating hayburgers for lunch.

“Got to have idea,” Twilight muttered to herself. “Got to have it now. . . oh for the love of – Spike's never going to let me live this down!” She moaned.

“Muuuhh, what am I going to do?? Stupid brain, why don't you think of something!!” She banged a fore-hoof repeatedly against her head. A friendly pony who had just been walking by was about to wave to her princess, but after seeing Twilight's display of agony, she turned around and quickly trotted away.

“Agh, I can't just stand here doing nothing!” Twilight wailed. “How do all those big-shot writers do it?? Quill Pen, Elegant Prose, A.K – A.K Yearling!! That's it!!!” Twilight squeed. “I'll just go ask A.K Yearling how she does the writing-thing! It shouldn't take too long to get there, just a quick trot. . .” The Princess of Friendship veered off towards the Everfree Forest, grinning at herself. “Tsk tsk, Twilight, you are a smart cookie. . . even if it did take you FOREVER to get a good idea. . . .” She entered the dark and silent woods.

Twilight then paused. “Now, I just – am I missing something? I'm missing something, aren't I, yeah, I NEED A STINKING MAP! TWILIGHT, YOU DUMMY!”

* * * * * *

After retrieving said map from a rather disgruntled Spike, Twilight finally ventured through the woods, finding herself at A.K Yearling's little cottage, which thankfully did not look like it was being robbed at the moment.

“FINALLY,” Twilight said, exasperated. “This is taking way longer than I wanted it to!” After tucking the map away in her saddlebags, she quickly trotted up to the front door and gave a polite knock. The door fell in on itself.

It took a while for Twilight to process what just happened. “. . . . . . . what in the name of-”

“Oh Twilight, is that you?” a voice called out from inside the house. “It's nice to see you again! You, um. . . you don't have to worry about the door, I needed to have it replaced, anyway.”

“Oh, um, sure.” Twilight stepped past the wooden debris and into the cozy interior of the cottage. “I hope I'm not interrupting anything. . ?

A.K Yearling was sitting in a red armchair by a lit fireplace, holding a book open with her wings. She pushed her glasses up with a beige hoof. “Not at all. Just a little book of fairy tales.” She gestured to the brown armchair across from her. “Come, sit. It's quite a surprise to see a princess visit my humble home. What brings you here?”

Twilight accepted the offer and took a seat, wrapping her tail self-consciously around her. “Well, you see, I need a little advice about writing. . . I want to write a story, but I can't seem to get started. Can you help me?”

“Well, first you need to get some inspiration, a good idea if you will.”

“But – but how?”

“How? Well. . . .” The beige pegasus had to think about that for a moment. “You just – you just do, you know what I mean?”

The look on Twilight's face clearly stated that the alicorn did not know at all what she meant.

“Ooooo-kay, let's see. . . . I draw inspiration from my adventures as Daring Do.” A.K Yearling tapped the book in front of her. “The writer here drew inspiration from nature and folk tales passed down by pegasi. See, you just get inspiration from the things around you, and then you get ideas from that inspiration. That's as simple as I can make it.”

“But I can't get inspiration!” Twilight said, slightly exasperated. “I can't get any ideas! How do I fix that??”

“That, princess, is a little something called writer's block,” A.K Yearling replied calmly. “You have to wait for it to pass. Writers can get it almost all the time. Believe me, I'm pretty sure it's incurable.”

“B-but writer's block isn't a disease!”

“It's a condition,” the pegasus retorted, still calm. “Now princess, can you please leave? I'm expecting a visit from a diabolical villain pretty soon, and I don't want to see you get hurt or get in my way. The only one who can do that is Rainbow Dash!”

“I – wait, what?”

A.K Yearling unceremoniously pushed Twilight off the armchair and out the opening that led to the outside. “Goodbye, princess. Please don't visit for the next few weeks.” As there was no door, A.K Yearling pushed the brown armchair to block the opening instead.

Twilight stood out in the cold, making a frown at said armchair. “Well that was a dud.”

* * * * * *

Twilight once again found herself pacing back and forth across the library of her crystal castle. “Think think think!! What to do, what to do. . .”

“How about you just stop thinking about writing, and do something else instead?” Spike suggested as he ate his way through a tub of ice-cream.

Twilight stopped pacing, and glared at him. “I thought you learned your lesson the last time you ate all that ice-cream!”

“Last time I overdid it,” the baby dragon admitted. “But this time, I won't! I'll just eat, like, one tub, and I should be fine.”

The alicorn sighed. “Fine. Eat your ice – your ice. . . cream? Wait, Spike!” Twilight exclaimed. “That's it! The Canterlot Archives!!!”

Spike blinked at her. “What about the Canterlot Archives?”

“Spike, don't you see?” Twilight said gleefully. “I can go to the Starswirl the Bearded archives, find that stupid time-travel spell, and then I can go back in time to see Starswirl and ask him what to do! He's a GENIUS!!! It's the perfect plan!!!”

“Um – I thought you said no time travel?” Spike reminded her. “Remember, after all that stuff happened, Pinkie was all like 'Cool, I wanna go see my great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa', and you were all like 'No', and then you went and raged about how we shouldn't go and time-travel ever again.” He gave her a look. “Did you forget about all that?”

“Psh, it's okay Spike,” Twilight said dismissively. “It'll be just one more time!”

“Pinkie's going to be upset when she finds out. . .” Spike pointed out.

“She'll be fine. I'm going!” Twilight's horn flared with a bright purple light.

“Whoa, are you just going to teleport in there? Is that even allowed?”

“Of course it's allowed. No more sneaking around! I'm a princess!”

Spike frowned. “Well. . . good luck, I guess.”

“Thanks, Spike,” Twilight said softly. “And don't worry. I'll be back in time for dinner! Orrrrr not! But I probably will be!” There was a flash of purple light, and she was gone.

* * * * * *

Starswirl the Bearded sat at his desk in his study. The room was cluttered with stray pieces of paper and scribbled-on scrolls, and was lit with a few candles scattered about the study, mostly clustered on Starswirl's desk. Starswirl was busy scratching out a new spell in a brown journal, and trying to figure out exactly how to finish it. He was debating whether to set it aside and complete it later when it happened.

A brilliant flash of white light erupted in his study.

“YOW WHAT IS THAT!?!?!?!?!?” Starswirl yelled ungracefully, nearly falling off his chair.

He managed to blink the brightness out of his eyes, finally managing to see that a lavender alicorn with pink and purple streaks running through her indigo mane and tail had suddenly appeared in his study. He gaped.

“Hoo boy, that was a doozy,” the lavender mare commented out loud, shaking her head as if she was dizzy. She caught sight of Starswirl and immediately brightened. “Starswirl the Bearded! I made it! Yes!” She abruptly became more serious. “I don't have much time! I came to talk to you, Starswirl!”

“Aye-yai – are you a princess?” Starswirl asked, bewildered.

The purple pony face-hoofed. “Oh, for the love of-” She bolted over to Starswirl, making him jump. “I'm from the future! Never mind that I'm an alicorn! Just-”

“Is everypony an alicorn in the future?” Starswirl asked warily.

“NO, they're – look, please, I'm begging you, I don't have much time, please answer my question!! How does a pony write stories?!”

Starswirl blinked. “How does a pony write stories. . ?” He could see that this mare was clearly in distress, so he decided to cooperate as well as he could.

“Yes yes, how? How!?!?”

Starswirl cleared his throat. “Ah – well – you see, they um – you first-” He picked up a quill pen in his magic. “You first pick up the quill.”

The purple alicorn made a confused face.

“Yes that's right,” Starswirl nodded, demonstrating exactly what he was saying. “Then you – you dip the quill in ink – and then you place the tip on a piece of paper – and – you – move – it - around.” He looked up at her astonished face. “You see?”

The lavender mare gaped. “I – I thought you were a GENIUS!!!”

Starswirl blinked. “I'm not?”

“NO NO NO, that's not what I meant when I-” The alicorn suddenly disappeared in a loud white flash and a poof.

Starswirl blinked the brightness out of his eyes, scratching his head. “What in Equestria was that?” He sighed. “The effects of sleep deprivation, no doubt.” He glanced back at the unfinished spell. “Meh – I'll finish it some other time. After I get some sleep. I apparently need it.”

* * * * * *

“Spaiiiiiiiiiike,” Twilight moaned. She was practically sprawled all over her desk. “Heeeelp mehhhhhhhhh.”

“Stop messin' around, Twilight!” Spike snapped. “Just do it some other time!”

“NAOW – naow, noaw I wanna do it nowwww,” she whined.

“Quit it, you're making me nervous!”

“NOO,” Twilight wheezed.

“Oh for Pete's sake-”

“I'll just do what STARSWIRL said!” Twilight suddenly blurted out loudly, jerking awkwardly around into what looked like an even less comfortable position. “Cuz – beeeecuzzz becuzzezz he's a GENIUS! YUSS! STARSWIRL'S A GENIUS, YUSS, um, I – I'll just – stick this quill thingy in tha' ink -and-” Twilight splattered her blank piece of paper with black ink droplets as she clumsily stuck her quill pen's nib into an open ink container. “-and I'll just – stick it here on this paper-” She violently stabbed her paper with the quill pen. “AND – AND I SHALL JUST – MOVE – THE THANGY-”

“Twilight, what – what are you even doing? Jus- would you – just LOOK at this! This isn't writing! You're just drawing a whole bunch of loop-de-loops all over it!”

“EH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEHHH,” Twilight bawled, as she started to cry. “I juss wanted to write some stupid story, eH HEH HEH-”

“Aw, c'mon, Twi,” Spike said sympathetically. “Just because you've got writer's-block now doesn't mean you'll have it later on! You'll snap out of it eventually.”

“B-b-b-b-but I want to snap out of it nah-ow,” the lavender mare blubbered.

“Alright, you know what? I'll be right back.” Spike trotted out of the room.

Twilight sniffled. “S-Sp-Spike? S-S-S-Spaiike? S-S-S-S-SPAIK, DON' LEAVE MEH-”

“Would you stop? I just left for one second!” Spike trotted back into the room, holding a large can of ice-cream. He plopped it down on Twilight's desk, pried off the lid, and threw it off to the side. “Now look, Twilight. You see this ice-cream?”

Twilight nodded.

“Okay, then.” Spike produced a couple of spoons and stuck one into the creamy vanilla, using the other to scoop out a blob. “Now eat the ice-cream.” The baby dragon stuck the spoon in his mouth.

She sniffed. Tentatively, she took hold of the spoon with her magic, scooped out a blob of her own, and stuck the ice-cream in her mouth. “Mmmm.”

“. . . Twilight, you don't chew the ice-cream.”

“Buh ai wan' 'oo.”

Spike sighed. “Whatever. Is the ice-cream making you feel better?”

“Mmph. . . ah 'ih 'uhl.”

“Good! Now that's settled.”

“. . . . 'Ank 'oo, Spaihk.”

“You're welcome.”

Twilight swallowed. “. . . Do you think I can be a writer, Spike?”

“Well, yeah, I guess. . . if you stop taking it so seriously.”

“Um. . . Spike?” Twilight asked tentatively.

“Yes?”