Where's the Pony Memes at?

by Narcissistic Writer

"Fanfictions, shipping and clopfi- now what in tarnation! "

"Hello"

"Yes"

"Okay Larson listen I need some help"

"What with exactly? I told you I don't have any more nsfw stuff."

"No, that's not it! I stopped writing a fanfiction for a year and need to somehow follow up on its success while also keeping its rating high."

"Ooh, thats a hard one. I think you'll need some occasional fourth wall breaks, references to the popular media of the community and....... an extremely obnoxious and very annoying narrator."

" Ok, got it thanks. Also forget what I said about the whole alicorn thing, Hasbro make enough money from toys as it is. "

"True that my man, later."

" Bye"

Now where was I? Oh yes I was narrating a story for you spineless numbskulls to enjoy or hate or criticise or clop to. Actually, scrap that last one. If you can clop to comedy you're an actual freak. No, no, no. Something's still missing I'm not obnoxious or annoying enough. Wait a minute. "British Accent Acquired": There, perfect.

It was still beaming with sunshine in the beautiful town of Ponyville, but this was hardly acknowledged by the six panicking ponies who were still struggling to take in the sights bestowed upon them. So many people were in this community of self-proclaimed bronies it simply baffled Twilight. Her friends shared her thoughts and feelings, well. Almost all of them.

"This. Is." Rainbow paused. "AWESOME!" Twilight's jaw dropped in astonishment.

"What!? Are you crazy!?" Twilight protested, Rainbow simply shrugged.

"No, just amazed." Twilight had so many questions to ask but held back the urge to argue with the Pegasus until she had finished her argument. She hated being shown up, and interrupting she thought would give Rainbow the chance to make her look like a fool. "Don't you see?" Rainbow continued. "We are so awesome that people outside of our projected audience enjoy our strengths and personalities." Twilight understood Rainbows point but she still felt uneasy about full grown males watching her allowing their most disgusting, perverted fantasies to rein havoc on forums and websites. Publicly and globally.

"I guess that's kind of a good way of putting it." Twilight had reluctantly given in and decided that using Rainbows depiction of these " bronies" would make her feel much better about the whole thing. She still felt foolish though as Rainbow flashed her a cheeky grin.

"Well I guess we still have a bit of time left let's look into it a bit more. What do ya say sugarcube?" Twilight reluctantly agreed and they scrolled on, surfing this seemingly never-ending nightmare . Or was it Twilight who just wasn't enjoying this? All her friends seemed comfortable with the subject at hand, even Fluttershy! All her friends she thought shared her disgust were not showing it, if anything her friends were showing fascination!

"Now what's this here?" Applejack asked. " Fim...Fiction? Seems okay. " AJ proceeded to click the link with the press of a hoof opening a website full of show inspired stories, and...Wait did I not mention how Fluttershy got here? Did I honestly forget that? Or am I just trying to be funny covering up the fact i didn't get round to actually introducing her. Most likely the latter but anyway! We have a story to return to. Now where was I, ah yes that horrible place. Fimfiction was what the colourful banner in the top left corner of the screen read clearly the mane six hesitantly but curiously scrolled through countless stories each one including different plots and protagonists they were all in awe at how much these people devoted their lives to these ponies. And I think that realization hit them.

"This is beautiful" Twilight said

"People devote their time to making all of us into their hand crafted world to make us seem so superior and great. These people really love us." Fluttershy said, relieved she had finally been given a piece of dialogue.

Wait, this can't be right. This is too good to be true. This is Fimfiction, surely something has to go wrong there must be someway i can make this interesting, they are being so boring, geez. Oh, sorry my mistake the mature option was off. Shall we continue? They came across and option it read: Mature which was quite vague so being the naive ponies they were they enabled this option much to the negligence of Twilight's advice.

They found a story and read the description. It read: jst my frst stori thort it wud b a gud ideea 2 mk it a clopfic.

After reading past the poor grammar and spelling mistakes one word stoo d out in particular. Clopfic.

"Now what's a clopfic" Dash said.

"Its what the narrator loves!" Pinkie Pie said jumping up from behind Dash before...wait hold on that s not true I...I prefer light shipping actually a couple smooches that's all. "Clop, clop, clop" Mimicked the irritable, incredibly annoying, pink pony. "You have the nerve to call me annoying? Wow!" I hate that little pony. Anyway, Pinkie Pie diverted her attention to the screen of text that Applejack began to read aloud:

"It was a sunny afternoon in Ponyville and Applejack had decided to meet Rarity and the carousel boutique for a surprise she had apparently gotten ready in time for AJ's arrival...."

"Seems normal enough" said Dash.

"Ooh I wonder what the surprise is, is it a party, is it a balloon or a dog or a cat or a toy or a cupcake or a muffin or a pie or another cupc-" Dash put her hood to Pinkies mouth stopping her from continuing her unending list of predictions.

"Pinkie calm it down with the cupcakes and the balloons and" Dash let out a sigh "Just calm it down with Pinkie Pie okay?" Pinkie nodded in obedience. Before having an inner thought: "I wonder what a Rainbow would taste like, no, no, no a Rainbow cupcake! But how rainbows weren't real objects they were just projections of light (at least that's what Twilight said.) So what's the closest I could get to tasting an actual rainbow cupcake?"
Pinkie shot Dash a look that made her feel slightly uneasy. Then Applejack started to read again..

4 Hours Later

"Rarity, returning the favour slid her tounge into AJ's... "

" Okay! That's enough thank you! I think we have learned enough from this one, shall we move on? " The mane six nodded with no hesitation.

"So, um what should we do next?" Rarity asked avoiding any eye contact with AJ.

"I think we should um, maybe, possibly look at
some art?" Said Fluttershy softly.
"Sorry what?" Asked Twilight.

"I said may-" You know what I can't be bothered to do the whole, what? I said.... What did you say? Thing it's boring and repetitive, moving on.

"I think we should leave it for another day huh?" Twilight said finally giving the narrator a way to end this story . Also sorry Fluttershy but we just hit 1000 words so I think I can live without writing about your reactions to NFSW art okay? Anyway the ponies all gathered and discussed what had been bestowed upon them today they had learned about Fanfictions (kinda), Shipping (kinda) and Clopfics (indefinitely) they all prepared to leave before giving their final thoughts.

Rainbow: "I thought it was kinda cool got a bit weird towards the end but whatever."

Applejack: "It was uh....it was......questionable."

Fluttershy: "I think it's alright some of the things they make are really scary and that thing with Rarity and AJ was just awful.

Twilight: "I definitely learned a lot, but I'm still very sceptical on if I should really feel comfortable about this."

Annoying one....I mean Pinkie Pie: "I'm just glad it's over so I don't have to listen to this guys voice anymore, but the brony stuff was so cool and the fanfiction was so romantic and detailed...explicitly detailed actually."

Rarity: "I did enjoy parts of the whole little experience but I mean who are my kidding that fanfiction was pure blasphemy."

The ponies all hummed in agreement at Raritys final statement on the matter and prepared to leave until they heard Rarity chuckling. "Oh but darling that fanfiction was really something I mean I wish it was real, I really do, but who am I kidding if AJ could last that long I wouldn't need to buck her twice a day!" The mares stared in shock all of their jaws lay flat on the ground all accept Applejack who's cheeks grew bright red.

"Um, heh heh. What I think Rarity is tryin' to say is she helps me buck the apples twice a day, right Rarity?!" Applejack said getting slightly more aggressive towards the end of her statement.

"Ha, ha. No!" Everybody, sorry everypony stared in shock.

"So. Awsome." Rainbow said in awe.

"What!?" Twilight boomed to Rainbows suprise. Fluttershy had already fainted by this point and Applejack had pulled her hat over her head in embarrassment. Rainbow on the other hand was loving it.

"Bwa ha ha, ha, ha ha oh my gosh that is priceless." Rainbow composed herself "You and Rarity did- ha ha ha!" Rainbow blurted as Rarity slowly began to realize the gravity of what she had admitted to only just now. By now nearly everyone had fainted except for Dash, AJ and Rarity even Angel was snoozing in shock next to Fluttershy. After Dash found the hilarity of the situation to be gone, Rarity began to speak.

"Well I guess I shouldn't have made it as public as I did but I'd just like to say I would love to do this again. This art of research really does fascinate me. So another time?" Rarity said only to be met with the glare of Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They gestured to each other hoping the narrator wouldn't understand what they were trying to get through to Rarity until Rainbow Dash blurted "Don't say that or he's going to make a-" Sequel. You are right. Now I have a story to write so enjoy you're embarrassment AJ, fly safe Rainbow and um...ah good luck dress making?

"Why thank you darling." No problem. No problem at all. But now I need something to go off for a sequel. A kind of cliffhanger or teaser. Let me think..............Got It!I

All the ponies had awoken from their panic-driven slumber and rose to the Pegasus, unicorn and earth pony all standing above them. "Are we done?"
Twilight asked.

"Um kinda. I kinda need your help."

"Yes Rainbow?"

"Well I got sent this link and I can't exactly use my hooves on a mouse you see and you know..since you have magic..you can, you know-"

"Yes Rainbow! I'll open your stupid link. Let me get my head together first."

5 mins of getting Twilight's head together later.

"Okay let's see what this baby takes us too" Rainbow said bursting with excitement. After using her magic to click on the link they were taken to a website where a loading bar appeared onto the background which seemed to be a bedroom then the title appeared in 16- bit text. It read:

Banned From Equestria

Author's Note:

I'm very glad I got round to finishing this as it was one of my favourites to write, and even though I started writing it when my writing experience was very little,
it was fun to finally finish nonetheless. And if a sequel is wanted a sequel will be made but I'm planning to leave it at this for now. Anyways thanks for the ratings and comments guys. Yours sincerely Narcissistic Writer (darkhorseapples) [l/b]

Comments

[Efadd]

... What the buck!?!

[Narcissistic Writer]

The chapter wasn't meant to be published sorry lol. Think of it as a teaser? 8868531

[Narcissistic Writer]

8868531
There you go my friend

[Armyidiot]

I... just... Did you intentionally make this cringy to read? Because wow is this hard. Take an upvote and my shelf though since you made me smile.

[Narcissistic Writer]

8873257
Thanks...I guess? Anyway to answer your question the vibe and tone of the "story" was supposed to be slightly awkward although it seems you find that a lot more than intended, but hope it didn't ruin the read for you.

[Armyidiot]

8875110
It was more of the overall grammar and narration of the story that made it so hard to read. Change the narrator? That's perfectly fine, within reason. Give them horrible grammar and a ton of run-on sentences? That's just poor writing.

[Narcissistic Writer]

8875122
Okay then. Thanks for the criticism, deeply noted for future fics I write good sir. And although you called my story hard to read (which I won't disagree on) you have still shelved my book, earning yourself a follow. Good day.👍

[Armyidiot]

8875332
Tis no problem sir. Work more on your grammar and writing and I may just follow you as well.