Hello, my name is Lionel, i´m not a native english speaker, I have written several stories. and i like to share my work with all of you.
a man arrives accidentally to equestria. he find love in Rarity but... he will do something for her love? .. but he will face the Rarity´s darkest secret,that will put everything in jeopardy.
so, this fic have 17 chapters, that i will upload as soon i finish translating it ( my primary language is spanish, no i need to translate everything)
but anyway, i hope you enjoy the story.
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I'll be straight with you.
First of all, your translations are actually pretty good (far from brilliant, though), because translating languages isn't easy (unless you use Google).
The speech could use these things " at the beginning and end of speech.
Spelling isn't half-bad, but you should try and add in capital letters for words such as I, the beginning of a sentence, and for names of places, people and ponies. There is more, but I'm sure someone would help you out more than me (i'm tired, don't ask).
I'll admit some confusion arose in the actual reading. But I wont pursue the matter.
-Incognito
Word of advice, HiEs are not liked here(Trust me). You need to have a twist, such as a villian or something(Excuse me if there was, but I just can't read this story. But, english is not your native language, so this is excuseable).
Falling in love with the Mane 6 has been done time & time again, I might end up doing a love triangle for the heck of it in my HiE. Maybe even put in a character from your favorite franchise & boom! You might have something worth reading.
Is that title a braveheart reference? If so, I LOVE IT
701720 you cant really ask him to make changes to something he has already finished can you?
well, first of all. thanks for your comments so, here i go
1. incognito: well thanks for the advices, and really, i assume that the traslations never will be perfect, you know, i dont live in a english speaker country, and even when I speak english There are Spanish words that don´t even have a meaning in English, so, its pretty complicated but i try to do my best and don't be confused fella, google translator isn´t a good tool for translate nothing paradoxically..at least from spanish to english.
2. Earthkiiat: if you can´t read the story you can´t make a prejudice about it I assume, and these first two chapters were only an introduction to the story itself, and yes, the story is already finished. so, I can´t change nothing
3. AJ: yes, its a reference to it
.... so i hope that the next comments are about the story itself and no about my manner of translate, who is not perfect
702524
Of course not, I just gave my opinion. Nobody listens to the rambles of my opinions anyway & was not intended to be harmful or mean in any way.
No hard feelings,
Okay, you've got a good thing going here- just a few things you might want to take care of.
First, you probably want to have someone look at it before you publish the chapters. You've done a good job as it is, but there's a few tense errors and such- that sort of thing is a lot easier translating into your own language than it is trying to translate out of it- you've also got some Spanish punctuation that doesn't apply in English.
Other than that, it's just a matter of formatting some of the dialogue and maybe adding some descriptions in the conversations.
Dead AF put a tomb stone on this piece of shit story LOL,