(Armored Core x mlp crossover)
Many humans have been allowed in Equestria. All of them were Ravens and ended up working in differents places of Equestria. Shortly after a war broke out between them. The Ravens of both Princess Luna, and Princess Celestia vow to stop the war, or die trying...
Strong language will be used.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Being a player of Armored Core I was naturally curious when I saw this. But sadly I think you rushed things a bit.
The main thing outside errors in grammar is that the combat was uninteresting. To put it in one word I would have to say it was "short".
I'll read the other chapters later and I'll try to give a more precise critique for you.
One question though:
Why ravens? If your story uses elements from ac4 then wouldn't it be more appropriate to call them "Lynx"?