• Published 3rd Jun 2012
  • 27,772 Views, 271 Comments

Living and Dying in Equestria - TwilightsmyMare



Ordinary guy finds himself catapulted into a strange land. Finds something he didn't expect.

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Chapter 1 (Arrival)

Ordinary guy, ordinary life. Lousy job, no one special in my life. Don't get me wrong, friends and family both great but would they miss me if I was gone? Not long I'm sure.

Just running out my life's clock like billions of others like me. Until one night...

I was heading out of my apartment/condo on my way to work, running a bit late so I headed across a nearby park. There wasn't much for light as the streetlights were some distance away, but as I was walking I caught a slight glint ahead. I bent down brushing aside some weeds growing there to find a quarter, Hah not much I thought but it’s a good start to the day.

At that moment I felt strange, like something was surrounding me. I couldn't move, crouched there on the ground then all of a sudden the light all seemed to disappear, the streetlights and even the stars. I closed my eyes feeling I must be dreaming or maybe having a stroke or something.

Then it was if I was wrenched across a long distance at great speed and suddenly, though instead of tearing me to pieces like it felt it was.

Disoriented I fell to the ground retching and doubled over for a minute or two. As I slowly regained my senses I found myself laying in a small clearing in a heavily forested area as I pulled myself to my feet from behind me I hear a gasp.

Turning around I beheld a strange sight, a creature? On all fours before me shrouded in a hooded cape.

"Uhh hello..?" I managed to choke out as the figure tossed its head back throwing back its hood to reveal the strangest sight I had ever seen. A Zebra? Maybe, its mane cut in a Mohawk style, gold bands around its neck and left leg as well as earrings.

To my amazement as I gawked, it opened its mouth and spoke! "A human man, how odd, this was not part of my plan." The voice definitely female and rhyming strangely.

"Did you just speak?" I asked shaking my head.

"Zecora is my name, speak yours and make it plain." I was still trying to wrap my head around the situation and only managed a "Rick."

"Hmm…” She looked at me strangely. "My apologies for bringing you here, the way to get you home will not be clear." She gestured towards her home, "Come in, sit, my library I must research a bit." As she headed towards the house I noticed her duck her head and pick up a familiar plant in her mouth, the weed I had been bending over!

Ducking to enter her abode I saw a simple domicile, strange African looking masks and fetishes all about. I stooped down to take a seat in a chair, a bit small but easily sturdy enough to handle my weight. Zecora busied herself looking through a large pile of books while I tried to sort out what’s happened to me in my mind.

Now I enjoy Sci Fi and Fantasy quite a bit so I am familiar with parallel worlds and dimensions, or at least the idea of them, though it seemed very unlikely to me. In all likelihood it seemed to me I was asleep in bed having a very realistic dream, also I supposed I could have been struck by lightning or shot and am laying in a coma right now! They seemed more likely then a world of talking Zebras!

Just then interrupting my train of thought came a knock on the door, looking over to Zecora I could see she was totally engrossed in her books so I got up to answer it. Before I could get more then a step a strange purplish haze seemed to surround the door and it opened revelling a sight I could not have imagined.

A unicorn, though not like any that I had read about or seen in films, to start with its hide was a light purple, its mane and tail a deeper purple with a dark pink streak thru it and two of the most amazingly deep and beautiful violet eyes I had ever seen.

"Hello Zecora, I just thought I'd stop by and... Oh... I'm sorry I didn't know you had, um company?" She said in an unmistakingly female voice while looking at me strangely. "Oh! You’re a human aren't you? Wow there hasn’t been a human in Equestria for ages! This is remarkable! Oh... Excuse me, my name is Twilight Sparkle. I'm a student of Princess Celestia studying in Ponyville. And you are?" I was overcome by her enthusiasm and excitement, I stared at her a second before managing a reply.

"Oh sorry! I'm Rick um a human being I guess from Earth? Sorry I'm just a little bit confused right now…” I sat back down still staring at Twilight, no not like any unicorn I had ever imagined she was small, perhaps a little smaller then a Earth pony on her four hooves she came up to about my midsection and would stand nearly as tall as me if she stood straight up. Zecora looked up from her books.

"Yes Twilight my mistake to bring him here, but in this book the answer is clear."

Twilight trotted over to take a look. "Oh yes! I see Zecora. The stars will be in alignment to send him back in about three months."

"Three months!" I shouted. "What am I going to do until then?"

Twilight turned to study me for a second. "Well, you should come to stay with me in Ponyville."

"I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience…” I said nervously.

"Not at all, no no Zecora," Twilight said tuning to her seeing she was about to interject. "You have a small home, barely enough room for you. As Princess Celestia's most trusted student it is my duty to welcome... Well different species, and it’s the least we can do for you. Also I have lots and lots of questions for you!" She blurted out quickly, blushing slightly and folding her ears back a bit. She looked so adorable it was all I could do to say.

"Well ok then, if you’re sure it won't be an imposition..." I looked to Zecora for some indication of her feelings on the matter but she was already looking through her books again.

"Ok then! Just follow me." Said Twilight, as we headed out Zecora waved her hoof in farewell not looking up from what she was reading. As we walked Twilight asked me question after question about Earth and what things were like where I came from, I was more then happy to answer. Her excitement was quite contagious as well as so cute. As we walked I noticed Twilight looked around quite a bit.

"Uh is there something I should be looking out for?" I asked.

"Oh nothing to worry about! Really, it’s just the Everfree forest does have dangers." She replied.

"Such as?" I asked.

"Well Zecora lives fairly close to the edge so nothing much comes this far out. But there have been
Cockatrice as well as Manticore’s seen."

"Whoa! Those are both really dangerous! Well at least from what I know about them. Which in this world might not be a lot." I admitted.

"We should be safe as can be, its daylight and... Eek!!!!" I spun around from looking nervously behind me and caught Twilight as she jumped into my arms.

"What! What is it?" I asked holding her tightly.

"A snake!!!!" She squealed, pointing frantically. I looked quickly and expecting a huge serpent was a bit surprised to see a tiny snake, perhaps the size of a garter snake back home traveling along ignoring us completely. For a moment I thought she was just messing with me but then I could feel her trembling.

I suddenly realised she was very, very close. I could smell her coat which had a faint pony/horse smell, not unpleasant at all as well as something else, some pony perfume mayhap or just her own scent. I didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable so being very careful I stepped away from the snake and got us some distance away from it.

To be honest I really didn't want to put her down, though she was quite a bit heavier then I might have imagined having her in my arms was quite nice. I put her down gently and she immediately went beet red laying her ears back again in that so amazingly cute fashion.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! You must think I'm silly!" She cried.

"Hey, hey. Its ok, fears happen to everyone." I comforted, leaning closer I said. "Personally its spiders that give me the creeps."

"Really? You don't think I'm just being silly?" She sniffed.

"Hey everyone’s scared of something. Weather they admit it or not." I replied.

"Thanks, let’s keep moving we're almost out of the woods then its just a little ways to Ponyville." Her fear apparently forgotten she pranced ahead of me looking back occasionally and resuming her questions from before. A short ways from the wood there came into view a medium sized town I would have expected to see in a fantasy movie, Timber and brick buildings with thatched roofs, plants growing everywhere even on the buildings themselves.

"This place is amazing!" I gasped.

"Really? Don't you have towns like this on earth?" Twilight asked as we walked on.

"Maybe a hundred years ago. But no, nowadays our buildings are pretty uniform for the most part. Houses look much alike and we have many, many story tall apartment complexes. Generally trying to cram as many people into a small space as we can. Not always of course."

"That sounds awful!" Shaking her head Twilight led me into the town. There were quite a few ponies out and about all different colors and manes as well as unusual marks on their flanks. Some wore simple outfits or saddles, which seemed quite strange to me as there was no one to ride them I could see. It seemed we were gathering a bit of attention, most of the ponies stopped and stared as we passed by. A few turned tail and fled! A pink pony with a yellow mane ran up and stopped about ten feet in front of us and yelled.

"Twilight! There’s a monster behind you! Run!"

Twilight glanced back at me rolling her eyes "No Lily, it’s a human being. It’s nothing to get upset about." Feeling a bit exposed I waved gently.

"Um, hi." I offered, waving to her.

"It talks!" She shrieked before fainting to the ground.

"Uh maybe we should get to my place fast before we get too much attention. Put your hand on my shoulder please." I moved forward and did as she asked, marvelling again at how soft her coat was. Just then her horn glowed with that same light purple color and the scenery suddenly changed! After a moments disorientation I found myself in what seemed to be a library in the middle of a tree? I could see out the windows the branches and foliage of the tree still alive and growing it seemed. And books, books all over the place. Not little paperbacks all these seemed to be sturdy. Hardcover, well worn and used. Suddenly a voice shouted,

"Look out Twilight! What’s that thing!?” I quickly looked about and beheld a small lizard? No not really small as lizards go maybe three feet tall with dark and light green spikes and a purple body. At the moment he was standing between Twilight and I holding up an arm to block me from her. "I'll protect you!" Sucking in a great lungful of air he turned to me blowing out an almost comically small and short ribbon of fire. Small it may have been but it was hot I could feel the heat off of it.

"Spike! Stop it! Rick is my guest. Lets just calm down a moment and let me explain." She quickly outlined what had happened and Spike calmed down quickly and apologized. She introduced him as her friend and assistant Spike, a baby dragon! Amazing!

"Now I'm going to have to go and see the mayor before all of Ponyville gets into an uproar. Can you wait here for me to get back Rick?" She asked.

"Of course. I'm sorry to cause so much trouble." I apologized.

"Oh it will be alright. They'll calm down quickly enough. I'll be back soon." As she turned to go Spike jumped onto her back and rode out. Feeling a bit embarrassed by the trouble I had caused I began to look around the liberty, examining books and putting them back where I found them. I found several that were quite interesting dealing with the history of Equestria, whatever that was I didn't know but was interested in finding out. I sat down on a sturdy but small couch and began to flip thru the first book.

Several hours passed and I was beginning to get a bit worried when the door again had slight purple glow around it and opened on its own accord, magic indeed! Twilight came through the door alone and she didn't look distressed to my relief.

"So is everything ok?" I anxiously asked.

"Yes I explained the situation to the Mayor and quite a few ponies that were there. We shouldn't have too much more trouble." She replied with a smile.

"Whew, I was worried I might get you into trouble there for a sec, oh… Where’s Spike?"

"Oh he’s gone off to gather my dearest friends. I'd like to introduce you to them if you don't mind?" She asked looking a little apprehensive.

"Of course, any friends of yours I'd love to meet. I hope they don't find me too strange."

"Oh I think you'll find them to be very adaptable. Come on then we're going to meet them at my friend Applejack's farm. Just to keep anypony from being too nosy." She then came right up beside me tucking her head under my arm and with a flash of her glowing horn the scenery changed again.

"Offf…” I gasped sitting down hard. "That takes a bit of getting used to. Must be really handy though."

"Oh I'm sorry! Are you ok? I just thought it would be faster and more discreet..." Twilight cut herself off as I raised my hand.

"It’s fine. You were absolutely right. And no harm done." She offered her hoof to help me up and I gladly accepted, gaining my feet and looking around I saw rows upon rows of apple trees as far as the eye could see. Behind us was a large Red barn as well as some other fields.

"Beautiful!" I gasped, as I gawked about. I noticed Twilight looking at me then a small smile on her face; she turned away as I looked.

"They should be here soon, let’s wait in the barn out of the sun, ok?" She turned and headed into the barn, as I turned to follow I heard a woosh and a thud behind me.

"Now what the hay are you supposed to be?!" I spun around to another pony, but this one winged! A light blue body and rainbow colored mane and tail.

"Rainbow Dash! You sure got here fast." Twilight's said from the doorway.

"Uh, of course." She said sauntering by me with a flick of her tail.

"This is Rick; he’s a human being from a different dimension!"

"A humawhat-now? From a what?" Twilight sighed, looking slightly exasperated by Rainbow Dash.

"From a long, long, long way away, ok?"

"Sheesh, fine." She then flew up to the rafters looking down at me suspiciously.

"Nice to meet you." I offered. I looked around the barns interior then and noticed another pony a bit further in; this one was more like an actual pony as I knew them. A bit taller then Twilight and definitely sturdier of build, with a orange coat and light yellow mane and tail, she was grabbing tied bales of hay with her teeth and tossing them with amazing precision into a pile.

As Twilight and I stood watching for a few seconds she grabbed her last bale and tossed it up. Then from behind a pile of crates a pair of pink arms popped out and dropped another bale right behind her then swiftly disappeared again. I opened my mouth to say something but Twilight quickly put a hoof up to her mouth in a Shh gesture. Turning around the Orange pony stopped and scratched her head.

"What now? I thought that was the last one? Ah well." She grabbed and tossing it up. As soon as her back was turned again the pink arms placed another bale right in the same spot. She turned around again, stopped and looked around suspiciously. Grabbing it she turned slowly only to drop it and spin about grabbing the bale the pink arms were just about to deposit.

"Got ya Pinkie!" She shouted pulling another pony out with the bale, this one all pink, her coat a light shade and her mane and tail darker pink. She immediately fell on the floor giggling and laughing. From behind the crates came another bunch of giggles as well.

"Apple Bloom! Were you helping Pinkie prank me!?” The orange pony yelled trying her best to look upset but with a big grin on her face.

"It wasn't just me sis! It was Scootaloo and Sweetie Bells idea too!" A voice came from behind the crates. "Was not!", "Was too!" Despite the unreal strangeness of the whole situating I found myself smiling and chuckling beside Twilight who also had a smile on her face looking up at me.

"Ahem. Applejack, this is Rick, he’s a human but don't be worried he’s a friend. Rick this is Applejack and Pinkie Pie." Applejack walked up and gave me a good long look then extended her hoof.

"Well if Twilight's vouched for ya that’s good enough for me! Welcome to Ponyville and to Sweet Apple Acres!" She said while shaking my hand vigorously.

"Wowahuman!I'veneverseenahumanbefore!Infacti'veneverevenheardofahumanbeforethisisgreat!Doyoulikesweets?IfyoudoyoushouldcometoSugercubeCornersometime..." Pinkie Pie comes bouncing up talking a mile a minute I’m definitely having trouble separating her speech when Applejack extends a foreleg to stop her.

"Slow down there Pinkie. He’s just met you, give em a lil time to get used to ya."

"Ah, pleased to meet you both." I said. Staring at me with wide eyes two of the three little fillies came out from behind the crates they nudged one of them forward, a cute little orange pony with a deep purple mane.

"Go on Scootaloo." One pressed, a little unicorn filly with a white coat and a pink and purple mane.

"Ya g'on." The other filly pushing her said, she had a light yellow coat and a red mane with a light pink bow on her head. Again I'm amazed by the diversity of the pony coloring.

"Um, mister human guy… You uh don't eat pony’s right?" She asked nervously.

"What? No, no. Though I don't want to lie to you some humans have been known to eat equines. But mostly we eat cows, pigs and chickens..." Even as I finished my sentence I knew it had been the wrong thing to say. Everpony suddenly burst into speech all getting louder and louder I couldn't get a word in edgewise to explain myself though I’m not sure how I would even if I could.

I looked to Twilight to see if she had any idea what to do, she was backed up a few steps her ears down as she looked nervously from one pony to the next looking like she wanted to speak up but was unsure what to say.

I was feeling pretty low; I had screwed things up for her. When she was looking at me for a second I mouthed 'I'm sorry' and was about to back out of the barn. Maybe I would be less of a bother if I did stay at Zecora’s. All of a sudden there was a loud shout from behind me at the barn door.

"Girls!" I spun about to look along with everypony else, and there in the doorway was pretty little Pegasus with a bright yellow coat and a long light pink flowing mane and tail, just behind her was another unicorn beautifully white with a dark purple mane and tail, Spike trailing right behind her. The Pegasus paused momentarily; with all eyes on her she looked a bit nervous, then shaking her head she continued.

"Haven't I taught you girls anything?!" She asked. "It’s natural for animals to eat other animals sometimes. I wouldn't deny my little ferret and bear friends the fish they need to survive! I don't know anything about these humans but I’m sure wherever he comes from its natural that they eat meat. But you wouldn't do that here… right?" Suddenly she
looked very shy and nervous.

"No! Never, I swear for as long as I am here I'll eat only what you all eat. I'm very sorry to have caused such a commotion. I should have thought before answering." I apologised.

"There we go. Well said Fluttershy dear. All taken care of. And you human… Person… Well whatever. I am Rarity. Pleased to meet you." The white unicorn stepped forward tossing her mane and extending her hoof toward me.

"A pleasure to meet you as well Lady Rarity." I responded trying my best to be diplomatic, taking her hoof in my hands, clasping it and kissing it softly. I then turned to Fluttershy the Pegasus that had defended me, and took her hoof into my hand clasping it tightly also kissing it gently.

"Thank you very much Fluttershy." She blushed deeply and pulled her hoof gently away, smiling shyly she squeaked, fleeing over behind her other friends. Rarity looking pleased with herself also passed by to join the others followed by Spike who gave me a dirty look as he passed; I turned to Twilight and saw she was looking at the ground. I bent down and took up one of her hoofs and held it tight. "And thank you Twilight."

"Me. What did I do? I just stood here." she said sullenly. I kissed her hoof gently and tilted her face up so I could see her beautiful violet eyes were forming tears.

"I could see you wanted to say something, that’s enough Twilight. Why would you stand against your friends for someone you just met? So thanks, and don't worry another second about it. Ok?" She sniffed softly.

"Really?" She replied. Looking at her that moment I just wanted to hug her. But that might be going too far for someone she just met. So I just nodded.

"Really, really." With a smile she got up taking her hoof away gently but letting it linger for a moment. Then we joined the conversation. I quickly learned who was who and all their connections to one another. Pinkie Pie promised
to throw me a welcome party soon and everyone was excited about that. After a bit of conversation everyone excused themselves one at a time, they all had things to do and it was getting late in the day.

Spike offered to walk Rarity and Sweetie Belle home saying he'd meet Twilight and I back at the library. So Twilight and I started walking back towards town.

"Are you sure you don't want to just teleport?" She asked.

"Ah, that’s ok. I'm getting used to it, but I do want to see some more of Ponyville." I replied. So we walked back into town, all the ponies were still pretty shy and nervous but weren't running in fear or screaming when they saw me, so a bit of progress.

Twilight showed me her favourite shops, the stationary store, the market area and Sugarcube Corner where Pinkie Pie worked. An amazing store built to look like it was made of baked goods... Or was it really made of them? I couldn't be sure as Twilight was pulling me onward to her favourite restaurant where we sat down to eat. The chair was a little small for me but I made due.

The waiter pony looked personally offended that I would be sitting in his restaurant but he seemed to recognise Twilight and gave us our menus. Thought I knew we spoke the same language somehow I was a bit surprised to find our written language also the same.

The menu was quite varied though I wasn't sure if I could eat some of it, hayfries? Odd. And daisy sandwiches which Twilight ordered. I settled for a house salad figuring it would likely be fairly normal. I noticed there were prices listed as well; I wasn't sure beforehand if they used currency or not up to that point.

"Oh, uh Twilight. I don't have any money."

Twilight giggled. "Of course you don't silly. Not to worry it’s on me this time." She replied with a wink. We sat there awkwardly for a moments, ignoring the stares from the few other diners.

"Soo Rick. What do you think of our little town so far?" Twilight asked.

"It’s an amazing place. I can't wait to learn more about you...’re culture and everything. Oh look here’s our food." Whew I thought, saved by the waiter. He deposited our plates and filled our water glasses amazingly with his hooves and mouth. He wasn't a unicorn so I guess he had to work with what he had, still interesting to see. I looked across the table to find Twilight staring at me an unreadable expression on her face.

"Ah, sorry. Just amazed at what some ponies can do without hands." I stammered picking up my water glass and taking a sip. She looked thoughtful for a moment watching me drink.

"Yes I can see where they would come in useful." Her horn glowed softly and her glass floated up to her as she took a drink.

"But I can see you have no problems there. Your so amazing Twilight… Ah you’re magic that is. None of that where I come from." Feeling a bit foolish I looked around for a fork for my salad. Seeing none I realized that ponies would have no need of them so I picked up a slice of tomato and proceeded to try it out.

"Mmm, very delicious. So fresh." I said after swallowing. Twilight’s sandwich floated before her as she took a bite.

"Isn't it? And my magic's not that amazing. I'm still a student after all. I know some tricks though... Maybe you'd like to see some sometime?" She asked looking at me over her food.

"Absolutely! I hope we can spend a lot of time together... Exchanging information and all that, you know." Grabbing some more of my salad I stuffed my mouth. Jeez way to sound like an idiot, maybe I should shut up before I really say something dumb. Never been good at talking to women… Uh Fillies? Mares? Too much to process in not even a day, I needed sleep.

"I look forward to it." She replied with small shy smile. Finishing our dinner she lead me a meandering path thru town showing me different sights, by now it was beginning to get dark. "And here we are. I have a spare bed but you might be a bit too big for it..." She said while opening the door with her magic.

"Hey I'm pretty beat I appreciate whatever you can provide me Twilight." I replied entering behind her.

"The washrooms right over there, if you want to get cleaned up. Spike! We're back." She indicated with her hoof, and I followed to a small bathroom. Amazingly it seemed to have everything I would expect in a washroom, sink, toilet that seemed to be a flushing kind. Even a quite large bathtub, amazing. It seemed to be an almost medieval society,
but with these modern touches… Even lights that flick on and off! Magic? Maybe, all in all I was amazed. I washed up and exited to find Spike waiting just outside the door.

"This way." He still looked a bit annoyed with me though I wasn't sure why. I followed him through the library up a flight of stairs to a landing where twilight was just getting into her bed.

"The spare beds right there. You don't mind if I read a bit do you? It always helps me sleep." She levitated a book from her night stand and opened it before her a light just behind her illuminating it. I felt a sudden yank on my hand pulling me down to Spikes level. He was standing on a small bed right at the top of the stairs.

"You might have Twilight fooled, but I'm watching you buddy! You try to hurt any of my friends and you’re in for a world of pain! Don't think you can get up to any mischief tonight cuz I'm just gonna stay up and... Zzzz..." Reaching that pitch he fell over asleep suddenly.

"Oookay…” I mumbled taking his blanket and spreading it over him, I couldn't fault him for being suspicious he'd just met me and I hadn't proven myself yet. I turned back and saw Twilight quickly move her book back in front of her face. Smiling to myself I turned to the bed she had indicated only five feet away from hers.

"Uh Twilight are you sure you don't want me to sleep downstairs or something? I mean its kind of close I don't want to invade your privacy or anything..." She put her book down looking at me for a moment.

"That’s sweet of you. But it’s fine… I mean if the bed isn't too small, if you want to sleep downstairs that’s fine too." She seemed a little embarrassed by what I said so I held my hand out.

"No, not at all I would be more then happy here." I sat down on the edge of the bed to show just that.

She smiled winningly and picked her book back up. The bed was mayhap five feet long but also quite wide I figured I could curl up a bit and fit just fine. I took my boots off remembering just a short while ago I had been heading to work! Heh they must have put me down as a no-show by now I'd certainly have some explaining to do when I got back. I took off my socks and turned to pull the covers back on the bed noticing Twilight peeking at me over her book.

"Say, what are you reading Twilight?" I asked.

"Oh! It’s my new copy of the The Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to all things Astronomy. There’s a perfect time to study the stars coming in a few weeks and I want to be ready." She replied enthusiastically.

"Wow that’s quite a title. It must have a lot of information in it." I replied impressed.

"It sure does. Do you want to see?"

"Absolutely." I figured she would just float the book over to me but she surprised me by shuffling over in her bed the book still held in front of her. I walked over and sat on the edge of her bed leaning over to have a look. The book was filled with long lines of text and illustrations of star positions.

Twilight started to tell me about what she was reading then remembered she was aways into the book and flipped back so I wouldn't miss anything. I had always liked to look at the stars though I never had much interest in the science behind it. As she talked I found myself paying less attention to the book and more to her. Studying her profile as she talked excitedly, her sweet breath smelling of the daisy sandwich she had for supper as well as her natural aroma which was intoxicating as well. Still I managed to pay enough attention to ask the occasional question.

I noticed she was talking slower and her eyes were half closed as her head fell to the side and she fell asleep I managed to grab the book before it tumbled down on her. I closed it and put it on her nightstand turning off her light. I looked at her sleeping peacefully for a moment before pulling her blanket up for her. Shaking my head I turned and looked out her window at the moonlit night.

What was I doing? Sleep, I need sleep. I sank into the soft bed curling up a bit so I’d fit. I could hear Twilight breathing softly and it lulled me to sleep quickly. Well either I'll wake up at home late for work.

Or... If I’m lucky...