Equestria Girls: Secrets Beyond the Stars

by GoldenGoomba900

It Feels Good to be Bad

Back in town Tested finished dissecting her burger and had determined that it was "edible". As were the other twenty burgers she had experimented upon. As she wrote notes on it, Shining Armor walked past blinking, and backed up. He couldn't believe his lucky break! Not only could he fulfill Principal Cinch's demands, he'd also be able to reveal his embarrassing secret on his own terms!

"Hey... you?" He was off to a clumsy start as he sat in the seat across from her. "You're that alien lady, right?"

"One of them." Tested said, beginning to experiment on some french fries. "Why, what do you need?"

"I have a certain someone who wants to talk to you about Twilight Sparkle." He said, really hoping that she'd just abduct Principal Cinch instead of his sister.

"...Go on."

"Her name is Cinch, she's at the Crystal Prep High School." Shining felt a pang of consciousness in the back of his mind, he was about to send a deranged cop-killer towards his boss. Said cop-killer was in deep trouble.

"When I said go on, I meant go on about what she knows about Twilight Sparkle."

"Well, she was Cinch's prized pupil for three years before their... falling out. She can tell you more about her than I could." He was, of course lying through his teeth, and the likelihood of Cinch eating humble pie was far larger than her realizing he knew where Twilight Sparkle was.

"And how do I know you're not lying?" Tested asked, Shining freezing up instantly. "You humans seem to take me for the gullible and easily fooled type who would be willing to do something stupid or humiliating in order to gain a cheap laugh." She leaned in to Shining and stared him dead in the eyes. "Because if you are, you would be mistaken, surprised, and then dead. In that order." Shining flinched away from her, nearly falling over backwards in his chair. She placed a cartoonesque ray pistol on the table. "Knowing that, tell me everything you just said again."

---

Twilight Sparkle looked at the teleportation pod, scratching her chin. From what Rainbow and Pinkie had told her brute forcing it was not an option, lest she end up in some unusual form. Spike was nearby, keeping lookout in case one of the alien sisters would return. Taking a rock and a pen, she managed a make-shift crowbar, using the tip of the pen to slip in between the cracks of the panel and the rock to force it open. Once inside, she found herself face-to-face with the kind of technology that she had used to build the masks.

Before she could do anything, she cursed to herself. "Spike! I need you to go back to camp and get my tools."

"Will it get me my mask if I do it?"

"Come on, Spike..."

"I'm not hearing a no."

"I'm not saying a yes..."

"Fine, alright." Spike ran off into the forest while Twilight did what she could with her bare hands. In hindsight, it was unlike her to forget something like that, but it didn't matter.

Twilight began studying the wires and electronics. While the fine details are fairly complex, what you should know is that she was able to determine that turning the button allowed it to decipher a specific location while the action of pressing the button just worked as a trigger mechanism, and how hard you pushed would determine which trigger it would use. Before she could use the new-found knowledge to the test, she heard rustling coming from behind her. Turning quickly, she came face to face with a horrible, monstrous creature with massive green fists and pale blue skin, and a snarl of someone who was not very happy with her meddling.

Twilight put on her mask as the beast wound up to strike her. Once he let loose he would find he had hit something akin to a brick wall. Twilight held the beast's fists in her hands, looking away and digging her feet into the ground. When she opened her eyes, she was just as shocked she'd done it as he was!

Before Twilight could say anything, she felt her hands get gripped by the massive beast and thrown behind him, slamming her against a tree. Moaning, she slowly stood up rubbing the back of her head.

"Well, I guess we won't get to talk about this." Twilight moaned. Grunt glared at her and slowly walked over, reacting in shock when Twilight began charging, slamming her fist into whatever equivalent of a jaw this beast owned. With an intense cracking noise, Grunt backed away holding his face, making a noise a combination of a moan and a growl. Twilight took the opportunity to pose in her armor, smiling brightly to herself. Before she could say anything, Grunt returned the favor by slamming one of its massive fists into her kidneys, sending her reeling and leaning on a nearby tree. Before she could react any more, Spike came back, dropping the toolbox on the ground.

"Twilight!" He shouted, worried.

"Spike, don't worry about me I-" she was cut off by the hulking beast throwing a log at her, she barely ducking in time to avoid being crushed beneath it. This was all Spike needed to send him running for Grunt, the tiny puppy running and leaping to try and damage him. With one motion Spike was swatted away into the brush, out of sight.

This was horrible mistake number one.

Twilight let out a furious yell, running towards Grunt, grabbing him by the arm and continuing, picking up speed as Grunt could only struggle against her grasp. stopping and letting go, she let physics do the work as Grunt flew forward and slid across the cold, hard ground. Having been skinned by rocked and mud, he only barely got up before Twilight cracked him in the location where the human shin was located, sending him to his knee, where Twilight climbed onto his head and began bashing him with her bare hands. As Grunt got up, struggling to pry the crazy woman off, Spike re-emerged from the bushes, lunging at him and biting to hold on.

Grunt, now at her mercy, struggled to escape while Twilight yanked at his arms. Finally, after another surge of adrenaline (or, rather, his species' equivalent), he pulled back forward, clapping them together and bringing Twilight to the forefront, and into his sights. Using one hand to grab and throw Spike into the distance, Grunt slammed the girl into the ground, and began pummeling her into a crater. On and on he punched and kicked, deeper and deeper into the ground before, in his fury, he missed.

This was all Twilight needed, rolling away and grabbing his free arm, she twisted the skin in opposite directions in what many people would know as an "Indian burn". As Grunt moaned in agony it came to Twilight's attention that she did not, in fact, know much about hand-to-hand combat. Grunt turned and grabbed her skull, lifting her up and winding up for his next big punch when he heard a familiar voice.

"You!" Came an all-too-familiar voice. "What ARE YOU DOING?" Inapan stood at the top of the crater, furious. "Drop her immediately!" Grunt, following superior's orders, did as he was told, even though her voice sounded a bit different.

This was horrible mistake number two.

Before Grunt could begin to explain himself, Applejack's arms burst out of his chest, beginning to slap him. Confused, he began swatting at them, the mysterious limbs vanishing before he could catch them. As the limbs began hitting harder and harder, so did he. Growing more and more furious with this obnoxious feeling, he failed to notice Rarity had dropped her disguise and helped Twilight to her feet. Panting and wheezing, he saw another figure standing at the top of the crater, smugly enjoying an apple.

"Aw, why're you hitting yourself? If you wanted a beating I'd have gladly obliged you." Applejack taunted. Before grunt could say anything, he felt her arms constrict his limbs to his side, as a result he fell, and was completely immobilized.

"Twilight, are you feeling OK? That ruffian looks like he beat you within an inch of your life!" Rarity began assisting Twilight out of the trench, noticing the dents and wear and tear in her suit. "We should get back to camp before anyone sees."

"What about the big guy?" Applejack asked, the moaning grunt struggling in his restraints. "We can't just leave 'em here. And I sure as hey can't keep him all latched up like this forever."

"Oh dear, you're right... he's still fighting too... See if you can knock him out, that will make things easier." With a kick not too dissimilar to her pony self's strength, Grunt was out like a light. "Goodness Applejack! I was hoping you'd just suffocate him until he passed out! Do you know what you just did too that poor creature?"

"Yes." She said, sternly. "I kicked him as hard as I could in the face. You act like that you'd have not done that given what Twilight looks like."

"Fair point... just get rid of him."

"Wait!" Twilight said before they went their separate ways. She grabbed the cover the teleporter's panel and put it back on, hoping whomever would come back wouldn't notice the dents. "Alright, now let's go."

---

Cinch sat in her office, content. She had complete faith in Shining Armor and Cadence, after all the consequences of failure lay right in her hands. As if on cue, her door opened revealing the visage of Tested stepping in.

"Excellent. I assume you have come to hear about my ideas?" Cinch smirked devilishly.

"No, I've come because you claim to know where Twilight Sparkle is." She lifted the ray gun to Cinch's face. Chuckling softly, Cinch stood up and pushed the gun downwards, pointing it towards her desk.

"Put that toy away, we are here to speak like professionals. I want to rid myself of Twilight Sparkle, you wish to take her. I believe an agreement can be reached."

"I don't see how negotiations are to continue if you don't have the same grounding as I do."

"You underestimate the power of a silver tongue."

---

Twilight arrived in camp, leaning on Rarity as they walked in on Sunset Shimmer holding a knife over a masked Rainbow's arm. A short pause followed.

"I can explain." Sunset finally said before Spike ran out of the tent, bandaged slightly.

"Twilight, thank goodness you're OK! I was so worried that you wouldn't come back! I wanted to follow Applejack and Rarity but Fluttershy..." On cue, the quiet girl exited the tent, carrying a first aid kit.

"S-sorry we couldn't come Twilight but Spike was really hurt and-"

"It's fine, it's fine... but can someone explain why Sunset Shimmer's trying to become blood brothers with Rainbow?"

"Long story short, I'm awesome." Rainbow explained. "I can do WHATEVER to my body and it'll heal INSTANTLY! Watch!" Dash stood up and began running headfirst into a nearby tree. Thankfully, before any harm could be made to her or the petrified wood, Pinkie took this chance to hang upside-down from a tree-branch, resulting in a massive, painful headbutt. As both girls fell to the ground, the group stayed silent. Except for Shimmer who giggled softly at the entire course of events, putting the knife away.

"Ooooowww..." Pinkie stood up, holding her nose. "I think I'm bleeding." she said, all stuffed up while Dash stood up by herself.

"There! I'm not bleeding. That's proof I'm invincible."

"I never suggested that you were-"

"Invincible. Now the only thing stopping us from stopping her plan now is that teleporter."

"Well, that's where the good news and bad news comes in..." Rarity began.

---

In the outskirts of the Forest, Applejack looked at the hogtied grunt, then at the river that lead out of town, and then a massive log she had procured. Shifting his massive body onto the makeshift raft, she used her power to push him out into the water. She waved him off as he drifted away. Yes, by the time he'd come to he'd be in the middle of the lake, and she highly doubted he could swim.

Comments

[TheArquius]

DAYUM!!!! A LOT OF UPDATES IN ONE HOUR!!!

[GoldenGoomba900]

6577001
A lot of this is written on /mlp/ first, then when the threads are archived, I divide up the posts into chapters.