"They are becoming more impressive by the day." A booming voice echoed through a metal room, monitors showing shadowy and perplexing images surrounding him. "Humanity has made leaps and bounds in the scientific fields... yet they act as if this is nothing! If this carries on they may forget their place in the universe. A place we have worked hard to KEEP THEM."
"We need not be reminded!" came a thin, nasally voice from one of the monitors. "Earth has been sending pieces of metal wherever they feel is worth looking at. We're lucky none of them consider our planet anything worth looking at past a large ball of clouds. But with this energy they've been spouting, who knows what they will find?"
"I PROPOSE WE SEND A SCOUT," shouted a third voice, as obnoxious as the last. "TO SEARCH THE PLANET FOR THE SOURCE AND SEE IF THESE HUMANS ARE WORTH OUR TIME."
The hall filled with bitter, unhappy, and arguing voices of all kinds. More and more of them seeming to pop in as time passed until finally the first booming voice interjected.
"Enough!" it snarled unhappily. "Chancellor Almadup, you said you live in the same solar system as this Earth. How close are you?"
"Our rotation varies from Aldu-Renda to Renda-Aldu-Jeng Lingars, sir. Currently, we're at Gingo-Wekt and Rendas Renda-Gingoth Lingars."
"Excellent. Send your princess to the source, along with her top men. If the planet is a threat... destroy it. If not? Take a sample member of their species for examination."
When you use while in this manner, you are comparing two related things. "While ketchup is great on hamburgers, it is terrible on hotdogs."
The two halves of your sentence have very little to do with each other.
This is not the proper format for dialogue. Decapitalize Came.
1. Earth is singular. Thus, has. Not have.
2. Pieces of metal shreds? But shreds are basically pieces. They're sending pieces of pieces. Remove "pieces of."
awkward as hell, had to pause and think about this sentence to make sense of it. Change "worth anything" to "anything worth."
As before, decapitalize Shouted.
1. Remove "with" at the beginning.
2. Either add a space for a new paragraph, or merge the two.
3. Decapitalize It.
4. this... energy. These... humans. And now, this... Earth. Even TWO instances is overusing it, especially in a 300 word prologue.
So... that's an alarming amount of mistakes for only 300 words. Your frequent improper capitalization tells me that you aren't familiar with proper grammar used in stories, so I'm guessing you don't read much for fun. Even worse, mistakes like "Earth have been sending" tell me that you haven't proofread your own work very carefully, and THAT gives me the impression that you didn't care enough about the story to do so. And, well, if even the author didn't care about the story, why should I read it? I'm sorry if that sounds pretty harsh, but these are the impressions I get whenever I read any stories with mistakes like these.
One more thing, and this is the least of your worries. You ever watch the old pokemon cartoons? Episodes usually started with something like "Our hero Ash has been through a lot, having won a boulder badge from Brock, and a water badge from Misty. Now he's on his way to earn his third badge from the dreaded Lt. Surge in Vermillion City!" I don't know about you, but to me, lines like that usually come off as cheesy, lame, or both. You're starting your fic off the exact same way by telling us all that stuff about Canterlot High.
None of the information you give us there is necessary anyway, as we know ALL of it. All you have to tell us is that they're detecting energy from Canterlot High. To accomplish that, just have one of the aliens namedrop that, or think of some other hint to throw in. Most authors use the phrase "Show, don't tell." Don't straight up tell us what's been going on with Canterlot High. Show us that it's about Canterlot through the alien conversation.
I hope you find all this helpful! If you go back and edit your story, message me again and I might continue reading.