Case 32: Things are Getting Epic
Cruger looked over the reports, damage from Grumm’s attack were all nearly repaired. The base’s exterior needed a coat of paint, but other than that everything was, thankfully, back at 100% barring any unexpected irregulariti-
‘I just jinxed myself, didn’t I?’ Cruger thought, pinching the bridge of his nose, his comm-link already chirping at the incoming call.
“Sir, we’ve got a problem,” Blue Rush said.
“What is it?”
“A full plated, brown-armored biped has just appeared in the cafeteria. It doesn't appear in any of our records, but it largely resembles past displaced body-types, and it’s currently busying itself by emptying our stores. And, based on it current progress, it might just be able to.”
“I’m on my way,” Cruger replied, sighing as the link ended.
Stepping briskly down into the emptied cafeteria, he found the large, armored warrior stuffing everything he could get his hands on through the parted visor of the his helmet. And, just a few tables over was a green canine, who, despite a quadrupedal body type, sat up on its hind end, sipping a cup of tea in its forepaw.
“You know,” Cruger said, edging slowly closer, “it’s considered bad manners to enter someone’s house without permission.”
“Hm?” the warrior grunted, leaning up, his face still hidden in the shadow of his visor. Gulping down his latest mouthful with a swig from his cup, he said, “Sorry, been awhile since I ate. So, um…” he belched, “you look kinda familiar for some reason.”
“You’re probably a fan of Power Rangers then,” Cruger replied, glancing briefly to the large naginata strapped to the warrior’s back, “Anubis Cruger, SPD.”
“Actually,” The warrior clanked with a shrug of his massive shoulders, “I stopped watching after Time Force, but I did see Linkara’s History of Power Rangers. I thought your name was Doggy?”
“You’re thinking of my Sentai counterpart.”
“Mrmmh, not sure,” the warrior said through another mouthful. “Also,” he gulped, “I’ll cook dinner to make up for this.”
“That would make a nice change,” Cruger replied, “usually I’m the one making dinner when a Displaced comes over. By the way, I never caught your name.”
“Oh, sorry. I’m Gilgamesh, and this here,” he said, thumbing back to the lion-sized wolf, “is my traveling companion, Enkidu,” who then nodded back to them before taking another quiet sip of his tea. “And yeah, sorry about my entrance, it’s usually much more entertaining.”
“Trust me,” Cruger said, relaxing his stance, “after the week I’ve had, a boring entrance is good.”
“You sure? It usually involves a musical number.”
“I fought the G1 Smooze with Deadpool, went toe to toe with the Juggernaut, and Emperor Grumm attacked my base with a giant monster. I need time to cool down.”
“Deadpool? Huh, I don’t know why I’m surprised there’s a Deadpool Displaced. Anyway, what’s this universe's situation?”
“Standard Power Rangers fare so far, except that the big bad actually appears to be competent.”
“Well, I can’t promise to stay, buuut I’d be more than happy to help you. What can I do?”
“Not a whole lot. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m kinda on the level where I can curb stomp Tirek.”
Gilgamesh smirked. “Tirek? Is that the extent of your power?”
“I said I curb stomped him, which rather implies that he wasn’t a challenge.”
“Look,” Gilgamesh chuckled, “if I asked you ‘could you win if every single person on this planet attacked you at once?’ and your answer was anything less than ‘might be a bit difficult’, you’re not in my class.”
“To be honest, I never considered that scenario. Of course, there’s that sim where you have to fight off a hundred elder dragons, I can solo it in 5 minutes.”
Gilgamesh just smiled and stood up. “You know what, I think I’ll stop with the dick measuring contest here as I’ve just thought of a way to help you out.” Removing his helm, he stood to attention and stated, “Allow me to properly introduce myself. I am Supreme Commander Gilgamesh, head of the Global Equus Military, blessed by her Grace the Lady Fausticorn, Slayer of Warlock Exdeath. And I hereby do offer my services in training the members of your organization.”
“Sounds like an option, but I hope you’re not too offended if I chose to confirm your credentials myself.”
“By all means.”
“Mind if we take this outside? We just finished repairing this place.”
Gilgamesh grabbed the naginata from his back and cut open a hole in reality. “After you.”
As they walked through the portal, Cruger drew his morpher, “Mind if I set the tone?”
“‘Tone?’ Waaaiiit,” Gilgamesh intoned with a sly grin, “do you mean musical accompaniment?”
“And here I thought I was the only guy who did that,” Cruger said as he started the music.
“Really?” Gilgamesh deadpanned, “This is what you want to fight to?”
“To be honest, I kinda hate fighting to the same music twice in a row. Besides, you’ll be singing this soon enough.”
“Eh,” Gilgamesh shrugged, “I prefer the version by The Clash.”
“To each his own,” Cruger replied, throwing a out a mach punch to Gilgamesh’s still exposed head.
Gilgamesh took the blow in the cleanly, sliding back several yards, but did not fall. Dust trails settling, eyes glowing red, he then cracked his neck and calmly said, “Thank you, sir. May I have another?” before twin heat-beams lanced from his eyes.
Cruger, tilting his head to avoid the blast, grinned, and said, “Well, since you asked so nicely,” and launched a barrage of blows, each just as fast as the first, if not faster.
Gilgamesh held up his guard, each blow continuing to push him back just a little farther, suffering little, if any, damage before leaning, back leaving Cruger dangerously overextended, allowing him to grab both of Cruger’s wrists and headbutt him. Immediately afterwards, another blast of force sent Cruger flying backwards.
“Oh, did I forget to mention? I can absorb all kinds of energy, including kinetic energy,” Gilgamesh shouted up to the airborne opponnent.
“Not bad,” Cruger said as he landed on his feet, “I guess we’ll have to finish this later, don’t want you to get hurt too bad before you teach my guys a few tricks.”
Gilgamesh simply smirked. “‘Me get hurt’, huh? Well, we’ll see about that another time. I wonder if you’ll be one of the few Displaced I’ve fought who I’ll actually have to try to win against.”
“Please, anyone who knows anything about Power Rangers could see I was holding back,” Cruger said as they walked towards the group of onlookers that had formed.
“Oh, certainly. I may not be as familiar with Power Rangers or Super Sentai as I am with Kamen Rider, but even I know you didn’t give me much of anything. No super lasers, no Megazords, no Battlizers. But you’ll forgive me, if just for my ignorance, that I doubt the full power of a Ranger could match me.”
“You say that like I’m a standard Ranger, I’ve got some tricks.”
“Oh, is that so? I can’t wait to see them. But for now, do I meet your qualifications?”
“I thought I already said yes to that?”
“Did you? Let me check back a few paragraphs,” Gilgamesh muttered before pulling out an iPhone. “Let’s see ‘May I have another?’, ‘We’ll have to finish this later,’- Ah, here it is. You’re right, I missed that, my bad,” he said before pocketing the device.
“Great, I thought that I was through with that kind of stuff after I met Deadpool.”
“Oh don’t worry, I’m not quite at that level. So, I believe the first thing on the schedule is making up for all the food I ate? I was actually surprised by all the meat you had in stock.”
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m so glad I got sent to an omnivorous Equestria.”
“Wow, lucky. But, correct me if I’m wrong, I thought I saw some steak? Do you eat… cow?”
“They’re not sentient, or anthro here, still hungry?”
“Eh, a little. I had quite a bit already. Besides, I may not look it, but I actually am a pretty good cook, and I do enjoy seeing others enjoy my dishes. Anyway, are Cragodiles or Hydras endangered species here? Because I’m thinking of preparing a few more unorthodox dishes than usual.”
“Not really, but there is a fine for hunting them without a license.”
“Ugh, never mind then. Don’t exactly have bits to spare. Do you at least have a wide selection of fruits and bakery materials?”
“No worse than any other Equestria, we do have our own Pinkie Pie and Applejack after all.”
“Perfect!” Gilgamesh exclaimed as he clapped his hands together. “You gather your troops, I’ll head to the kitchen!” He then used his weapon to cut open a hole in reality and jumped inside.
***
Cruger looked over the training grounds where most of SPD had gathered. “Alright, as you know, our recent encounter with Grumm has taught us that we are solely lacking in experience. Luckily, we have a Displaced who has volunteered to aid us in this regard. Meet Gilgamesh, and good luck, something tells me you’re gonna need it.”
“Hola, chicos y chicas! Como estas?” The large armored warrior asked as he waved in a friendly manner.
“Is anyone else just a little bit scared from his size? It can’t be just me. Also Commander, I can just tell you’re a sadist,” said SPD’s resident doctor.
“‘Sadist’? That’s rude. What makes you think I’m a sadist?”
“Possibly the fact that this guy has muscles on his muscles and that he has that disturbingly creepy grin that just shouts ‘in five minutes you are going to be hurting everywhere’.”
“You said the same thing about Edge Case, and the cadets under his tutelage were okay weren’t they?”
At this Plague gave Cruger a ‘really?’ look, “I had to treat each of those cadets for mental trauma caused by him. Also and no offence Mr. Gilgamesh, but you look like you can do a lot more than mental trauma.”
“You say that, but you have to admit that they were able to outperform every other division in that joint exercise thing last month, no risk no reward,” Cruger commented.
“Oh I’m not questioning the effectiveness of it. I’m just mad about all the paperwork that I had to do because of the trauma. I mean, Edge is the reason why we have such a good psychology department. Oh and Rainbow Dash might need her head checked, because she said that she could beat the next displaced in a one on one match.”
“pfffFFFT-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-! Oh ho-ho, ooohhhh. Sorry,” Gilgamesh apologized, releasing his sides as he bent back up. “Ahem. Also, Darth Plagueis was it? No offense meant, but I kinda can’t tell if you’re concerned about your patient’s health or annoyed with having to deal with healing them.”
“No,” he replied tersely, “I am Doctor Plague, and I’m very concerned about their health. I’m just tired of all the mental problems you people give them before they even see the battlefield. I’d be far more comfortable with merely sawing off limbs and replacing them,” the ‘good’ doctor finished, frowning through his mask.
“Ooo, do you have cybernetics here? Or limb regeneration?” Gilgamesh asked, seemingly undisturbed by the thought of amputation.
“Ehh, it’s a relatively new thing, but I think Steam Gear is working on improving them. When he isn’t working on that damnable chicken gun.”
“Meh, I’ve heard worse. So Cruger, I have to say this looks like an impressive group you’ve got here,” he began as he looked over the crowd, his eyes stopping on PRINCESS HEART. “I’m also glad to see how,” he trailed off, turning to face a midnight-black mare with gleaming yellow eyes, smirking. “inclusive, your organization is,” he finished, causing the mare’s eyes to widen for a moment. “I’m a bit curious though,” he continued, turning back the SPD Commander. “You’ve got ponies, griffins, changelings, and minotaurs. I can understand there being no dragons, and I guess I can understand no zebras or buffalo, but is there reason why no Diamond Dogs are here?”
“Can’t hire ‘em if they don’t apply,” Cruger shrugged.
“Have you made sure they’re aware? I don’t want to insinuate anything, but back in my dimension no one had even considered asking for their help until I suggested. And this was after we’d already enlisted the dragons and the changelings. And ours was literally a war for the existence of the world.”
“Hey, I took one of the SWAT Flyers on what was basically a job application bombing run over the more remote parts of Equestria, I think they at least saw them.”
“Didn’t mean to offend, it’s just I’ve come across a few… Xenophobic Equestrias in my travels. Just wanted to make sure the same thing wasn’t happening here. Anyway, what’s first on the to-do list?”
“Hey, this is your show, I’m just the one with a bucket of popcorn and a notepad.”
“Well, I was trying not to make it feel like I was taking over, but…” he trailed off, cracking both sides of his neck, arms folding squarely behind his back, “ATTEN-TION!” he shouted to the gathered crowd, jolting a few of the whisperers. “Now, as your commander mentioned, my name is Gilgamesh. I happened to come across your sorry little group in my travels, and now you little shits are fortunate enough to have me stick around and give you a hand. And, in case any of you smart-asses were curious, know that I’m not just some random Displaced that happened to pass through, I am Supreme Commander Gilgamesh of the Global Equus military that happened to pass through. Back where I’m from, every. single. sapient being on the planet either salutes or bows to me. And yes, that does include the dragons and the Princesses, all of them. So, as long as you are under my tutelage, you can all just think of me as your new god. Do I make myself clear?”
“Sorry sir, but I only bow to the Que- I mean the princesses.” The doctor said to the very imposing man after catching his slip up.
“That’s fine. Like I said, this isn’t my dimension, but I will still have your respect, maggot,” he replied with a wink. “I’m glad to see you’ve at least got the ‘Sir’ part down.”
“Yeah, you’re gonna have do a lot more than just tell a story to earn my respect,” said Rainbow Dash.
Gilgamesh’s mouth curled into a menacing grin. “Of course! And I’m so happy to hear you’ve volunteered yourself and your squad to help me with that! Is there anyone else that would like to join them? B-Squad, perhaps?”
“You sure? They may not have morphers, but they’re a tight knit crew with over a dozen members, and the training for all Troopers focuses on group combat,” Cruger commented.
“Perfect! Getting a group of idiots to work in sync is usually the first and one of the biggest hurdles I have to overcome! Glad to scratch that one off the list right away!” He then turned to the crowd and began to clap. “Good job! Such good little boys and girls you are!” He complimented condescendingly.
“I don’t like where this is going…” a dark mare with the yellow eyes squeaked as she hid behind a pale mare that was standing next to her.
“Personally I find it interesting and a great learning experience” said PRINCESS HEART said to the dark mare she was next to. “I have some summons and magic to hone.”
“Volunteers? Volunteers?” he asked in a sudden and exaggerated attempt of a Trottingham accent.
Cruger sighed, “Looks like you’ll have to content yourself with just the A-Squad, you don’t mind if they’re Morphed, do you?”
“‘Don’t mind?’ My friend, please allow them to use whatever they wish! The more of a beating they can take, the more I can,” he trailed off and looked to Rainbow Dash and her teammates. “...play with them,” he grinned.
“If I may sir, could you not as you put it, play with them to hard? I don’t feel like resetting bones and doing paperwork.” Asked the ‘totally’ caring doctor.
“Oh don’t worry, I won’t break them… this time. So, where do we start? Usually I take this kind of thing outside and far away from civilization to avoid collateral damage.”
“Quick question, you know Fallout?” Cruger asked.
“You know, been meaning to get to it. I know some of the lore, but I haven’t actually sat down and played any of them yet.”
“Let’s just say that the hardened areas of this base, such as the weapons testing range and training dojos, make Vaults look like oversized cardboard boxes.”
“Ah, perfect! Show the way, please! Oh, and I insist the rest of you watch, provided you don’t have any urgent work to get to,” he told the crowd.
“You want to know something funny?” Cruger asked as he led them to one of the larger dojos, “once upon a time, I was content with them merely being on-par with a Vault.”
“Why would you be content? As a warrior, I’ve trained myself to never be complacent, and I’d like to think you’d be smart enough to apply that to all things.”
“Because I considered the Vault-Tec standard to be a bit on the overkill side, until a Displaced with a bit of a mad scientist vibe blew up a firing range. Good news, she managed to figure out a new type of ordinance we’ve been working on.”
“Oh really? Who was that?”
“Jen, a Spectobe Displaced, don’t suppose you know what that is do ya?”
“Nope. Man, so much research I need to do. So, how big is this training ground?”
“I’d say,” Cruger started as they arrived at a door, which opened to reveal a room the size of a soccer stadium, “pretty big.”
“Oh, wonderful! This should do nicely. And, where shall our audience be watching from?”
Cruger simply pointed at a series of transparent windows circling the grey room, high in the walls, and then to the elevator button to their left.
“Nice. So, let’s get it set up!” He then turned to A-Squad. “I’m assuming you’ve been well-trained enough to have your morphers and any weapons you need on you at all times.”
Night Stalker flicked his wrist, causing a weapon that looked like a cross between a taser and a hidden blade to pop out from his sleeve, “You could say that.”
“Wunderbar! Take your positions, please!”
As they took positions on opposite sides of the room, Cruger’s voice sounded over the PA, “Want to stick with this, or should I show you my favorite thing I copied from Star Trek?”
“Let me guess, digital terrain?” Gilgamesh asked.
“The official term is Holodeck, and I’ll take that as a yes.” With that, various screens appeared, which rapidly cycled through various landscapes before finally settling on a ruined cityscape. The air flickered for a moment before a projection of it appeared in the room. Once it had settled in, a mechanical voice started counting down.
“3, 2, 1, Begin.”
“Very well. A-Squad, morph up,” Gilgamesh ordered.
“Your funeral,” Dash said, “SPD, Emergency!”
“... Huh. I always wondered what that would look like seeing that happen right in front of me. So, on to your first lesson! You’re goal is… hit me.”
“Ha, easy.”
“Now hold on, let’s make sure there are no misunderstandings here. When I say ‘hit me’ I don’t just mean ‘touch me’. I mean to land a direct hit, no being blocked, and no glancing blows. Anything other than that is fair game.”
“If you say so,” Dash said, before suddenly drawing her blasters and firing a barrage of shots.
Gilgamesh jumped high into the air, spinning gracefully as music began to play, and then landing on his toes, both arms held above him in a ballet pose. As the opening chords ended and the song began to start in earnest he began to pirouette, seemingly unconcerned with the rest of the group.
A-Squad spread out and began to fire from all sides, Dash and Night taking to the air in case he started to jump again. Gilgamesh’s only response was to begin moving towards them, making quick steps as he balanced perfectly on the ends of his toes.
“Curb his movement,” Hammer Fist said as he ducked into a building, with the rest of A-Squad following suit.
“Really? If you intend to make this a shooting gallery, you’ll find that things are heavily in my favor,” Gilgamesh declared as he stopped to pose, arms outstretched as he balanced on one foot.
“Who said anything about a shooting gallery,” Night said, as he emerged from his hiding spot behind him, billy club swinging.
Gilgamesh easily bent backwards to avoid the hit while simultaneously kicking the thestral in the face with his outstretched leg, then grabbing his wrist before flipping the pony over him and slamming him into the ground. He then quickly hopped onto Night and began to dance over his face, each step producing a stomp that bashed his head into the pavement.
“Is this a game to you?” Dash shouted.
“For now, yes,” Gilgamesh replied before quickly hopping off Night and then kicking him into the nearest building hard enough to smash through the virtual concrete. “So far you’ve failed to give me reason to treat this otherwise.”
“Then how about this,” Dash said as she brought out the Command Bone, “RIC, Fetch!” Out of seemingly nowhere, RIC jumped and caught the bone and turned into cannon mode, which the Rangers caught.
“Pulling out one of your finishing moves already? I expected more,” Gilgamesh pouted.
“Shut up,” Dash said as she pulled the trigger. The blast fired straight at Gilgamesh who just stared impassively as it sped towards him. The attacks seemed to hit… until it dispersed and there was no Gilgamesh to be found.
“Bonjour,” came a voice from behind them, give them just enough time to turn their heads before Gilgamesh punched the four of them away. Dash tried to pull out one of her blasters to shoot him, only for him to quickly grab both her wrists and hold them to the sides. He then pulled her until she was pressed against him. “Merci.”
“Wait, what?” was all she was able to utter before he began to spin, pulling her along for the ride. It was quite as sight for the rest of A-Squad to pull themselves up, only to see what looked like their leader trying and failing to dance with the warrior.
“Do you ever take anything seriously?” asked Pearl Spark.
“Yes, just not you,” he replied before dipping Dash backwards. “Un,” he said before pulling back up and swinging her out with one arm. “Duex,” he said as he forced her to spin in place by twirling her arm. “Trois!” he shouted as he let go of her before striking her in the head with a roundhouse kick, sending her slamming into Evil Breaker and Hammer Fist.
“We’re taking this seriously, why won’t you?”
“Your goal was to land a hit on me. If you can’t do it while I’m playing around, what makes you think you could do it if I actually tried?”
“Try us.”
The music cut out and Gilgamesh chuckled. He then threw his head back and laughed. “Ok then,” he said after calming down. "But you asked for it," he said as a new song began. He then began to slowly walk towards them for a moment before picking up speed and running at them. Before they could properly respond he uppercutted Hammer Fist into the air before kicking Dash in the back of the head. Before he could continue, Night Stalker and Evil Breaker charged from opposite sides. Gilgamesh quickly grabbed both of them and slammed both of their heads together, then dodging a magic blast from Pearl Spark. He then grabbed Hammer Fist by his leg before he hit the ground, finally coming down from the uppercut, and swing him like a bat, hitting all four of the other rangers and sending them into one of the buildings before hurling the earth pony in after them. He then jumped and entered the same building from a higher level.
“This is completely one sided.” Dusk commented as she watched, still hiding behind the pale mare. She was still scared but her professional side just couldn’t stay quiet about what she was seeing anymore.
“You know, I was tempted to hit the intercom and say ‘Yes?’ when Dash said ‘Fetch,’” said Fetch, half watching the battle, focusing more on the data the various scanners were collecting on both Gilgamesh and A-Squad. “But I didn’t think A-squad would care for that sort of humor during a beatdown.”
“I agree Dusk, it is one sided. Gilgamesh is totally destroying them in the fight and it’s just a sparring match and that’s just with him screwing around for crap and giggles. It’d be even more so if he was destroying them without even touching them.” PRINCESS HEART said to Dusk.
“I have to agree as well. Against an opponent like Gilgamesh, they’re fish in the barrel.” Agreed Dr. Plague, while comfortingly patting Dusk on her head. Dusk immediately moved to the opposite side of the viewing room.
“Is that so now Plague? Huh, I wonder how Gilgy would fare against a master of magic then with summons? I really do need to hone my magic more if I’m gonna help out around here, especially if I’m ever needed out in the field.” PRINCESS HEART stated.
“I don’t know how he would fair against magic alone, but I bet if you add in some lead with that, he wouldn’t last long. And yeah, I feel you on the training thing. My aim has gotten real bad.”
“Lead huh? How do you mean Plague?” HEART asked.
“Well, personally I use this.” Said the doctor, as he showed her a musket that, if not from pre-unification, then modeled after one.
“I see, through, something tells me he’d just shrug it off like it was... a um… Fire spell I suppose? Light damage and all.” PRINCESS HEART guessed.
“Probably, but we should get back to the fight my Que- friend,” he chuckled, quickly adding, “don’t you think?”.
“Agreed. Back to the action. Heheheh. And it’s princess actually, I’m not a queen till mom steps down.” HEART giggled in amusement as she watched the beatdown unfolding before her eyes.
Marri looked up from the silent beating going on below to the sound of clicking hooves rounding the bend. She’d specifically chosen the opposite side of the observation deck to be free of the others constant chatter to better focus on the ensuing combat, but relaxed, some, when she saw it was only Dusk. Still, even with the multiple viewing screens implanted into the walls above her, it was still anypony’s guess what this Gilgamesh was trying to accomplish. Dash had used the RIC seconds into the encounter, and the giant displaced hadn’t so much as flinched. Compared to that sort of firepower, she wasn’t sure what the other members of A-Squad were hoping to accomplish spread out like they were.
Dusk silently walked over and stood next to Marri, feeling slightly awkward, but glad to be away from the doctor... and his needles.
When the midnight mare remained silent for a few moments longer, Marri rolled her eyes, then said, “I don’t suppose I blinked and missed where A-Squad came together to combine their firepower after Ms. Dash fired RIC and it had no effect on this Displaced, did I?”
“No, you haven't missed anything.” Dusk said.
“Then,” Marri paused, furrowing her eyebrows with a sigh, “what do you think they’re planning then?” squinting, struggling to keep track of the combatants, particularly the red and brown ones who were blurring up into near rainbooming magnitudes of speed.
“Whatever it is, it’s not going to work.” Dusk admitted, arms flickering briefly to shadow as she crossed them beneath her chest.
Dash flew around the battlefield, trying to keep a bead on Gilgamesh. However, when she blinked, he disappeared. She turned her head around franticly, trying to relocate him, when she heard something from right behind her.
“Peekaboo,” was all she heard before she was grabbed by the legs and thrown down into the building below her with enough force that she smashed through every level and hit the bottom floor. Dash groaned as she got to her hands and knees.
“PAIN TRAIN, COMIN’ THROUGH!”
She looked up to see Gilgamesh, carrying Pearl Spark in one hand and Evil Breaker in the other, barrelling towards her. She barely had time to react before he slammed her two teammates into her, causing her to be taken along for the ride as they all smashed through the back of the building. Gilgamesh stopped and all three of them tumbled through the street.
“And you wanted me to be serious,” Gilgamesh taunted.
“Guess we did,” Dash said as she fired off a shot. She was immediately met with a foot to her face as her shot missed it’s mark.
“So that just leaves, you,” he began as Night Stalker tried to rain blasts down on him from above, only for a tornado to spring up out of nowhere and suck him inside before releasing him, slamming him into a building before he plummeted to the ground. “And you,” he finished as Hammer Fist came flying out of a nearby building, pulled by an unseen force, before being clotheslined by Gilgamesh, flipping several times before landing back first on the ground. “So, want to keep at it? Or do you finally have an idea of just what kind of difference there is between our weight classes?”
“Fine,” Dash said as she tapped the ground.
“So, you speak for the rest of them? All of you calling it quits?”
“For now,” Night said as he and the rest of A-Squad made their various signals for surrender, “next time you won’t be so lucky.”
“I think that’s a nice segway to my next point. I’ve got one question for all of you: Why did you lose? What’s the main reason you all didn’t have a chance against me?” Gilgamesh asked.
“Cause you’re 52 tons of pure badassery in a 3lb sack?” Hammer Fist guessed.
Gilgamesh laughed. “Colorful metaphors! I like it! But no, that’s not why. Don’t forget, your task wasn’t to beat me, it was to hit me? And you didn’t even need to actually cause damage to complete this assignment. So once again, why?”
“Hey, we had you surrounded and the only time at least one of us wasn’t shooting at you was when Night was going for the sneak attack,” Dash shouted, “I’d say we did pretty well considering.”
Gilgamesh exhaled sharply and shook his head. “So, you still don’t get it, huh? Alright, looks like I have to spell it out for you. You all lost… because you all thought you were hot shit. You thought you were badass, that you were the cream of the crop. Even if you realized in your conscious minds that there are others who could be more powerful than you, in the back of your heads you kept telling yourselves you were untouchable. That’s why you lost.”
“You’d think they’d have at least partially grown out of it when they couldn’t summon their Zords because only the primary access was blocked during a giant monster attack,” Cruger said, walking in as the hologram faded. “seriously, they didn’t even consider trying to clear it out. Guess it couldn’t be helped when the only real combat experience they had was against an oversized fan.”
“Is that so? Well, I have a few ideas about that then. But first off,” Gilgamesh began before facing the rest of SPD. “This is the lesson you all should learn today, to have cemented in each and every one of you down to the last fiber of your being: No matter what your area of expertise, there is always someone better than you. It’s a lesson I have to remind even myself of once in awhile, and have had beaten into me at other times. I can literally bench press mountains, I can, and have, wiped an entire city off the map with one swing of my weapon, and aside from maybe your commander here, if I wanted to wipe out every single living being on the face of this planet there wouldn’t be a damn thing you could do about it. And yet I know, and have met, people who could swat me aside like a mosquito. No matter how hard you train, no matter how good you get, never forget there is always someone better than you. The moment you forget that lesson, you’ve already lost.”
“Well, guess one of us gonna have that particular lesson reinforced soon enough,” Cruger said as he pulled out a manilla folder, “by the way, you might like to read this for inspiration.”
Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow and took the folder. He was about to open it when he stopped and cast a suspicious glance at Cruger. He then levitated the folder about a yard away from him and opened it.
Cruger sighed, “It’s not a bomb, it’s just a rather extensive list of the various tests that I used to select these guys. I’m particularly proud of the stuff involving the pool, I think the Walker twins are still mildly hydrophobic.”
Gilgamesh took a look at the page and raised an eyebrow. “Actually surprised they’re not scarred for life with all this stuff. However, I do have some ideas of my own,” he replied before stuffing the page back into the folder. “A-Squad, you have not yet failed in the task of landing a blow on me. For you to fail, the test would have to be over. This lesson will continue tomorrow as well. You may use any and all SPD assets in order to complete this task. In addition I will be testing your preparedness and critical thinking skills the moment you wake up tomorrow. Until then, you’re dismissed.”
“Um Mr. Gilgamesh?” Dusk asked as she shyly tugged on Gilgamesh’s cape, “What exactly do you have planed for B-squad?”
“Hm… Guess I need to come up with something. Can’t quite knock you around the same way I did to them. You are without morphers, after all.”
“You know, B-Squad’s main role is basically to back up A-Squad, maybe they could benefit from having the same level of training. As for the lack of Morphers,” Cruger’s gaze turned to Dusk briefly, “let’s just say that more than a few have ways to compensate.”
Dusk immediately broke into a full on nervous sweat as she backed away from the two displaced.
“Interesting… though that does give me one idea, but I need you to confirm something for me. How well does A-Squad, particularly Dash, know the rest of SPD? The members, I mean.”
“More or less I think,” Cruger said, “I personally make it a point to at the very least know all of my crew on sight, except the new guys for obvious reasons, but the various divisions like to mostly stay together. You get some co-mingling, but as a general rule, the R&D guys aren’t going to put the Dispatchers at the top of the guest list for one of their barbecues.”
“Barbecues, huh? Better than expected, but I think I might need to make some changes,” Gilgamesh muttered. “Alright, that’s it for the day everyone! Return to your duties, and make sure to take a trip to the cafeteria when you get the chance. I’m making beef tacos, five alarm chili, pastrami sandwiches, ceviche, antipasti salads, and parfaits. Make sure to take a look at the ingredients, I don’t want anyone getting food allergies. See you then!” he announced before swing his arms back and lifting one leg, about to do a classic cartoon sprint. Before he left, however, a throwing knife shot at his head, which he narrowly dodged. He turned back to see that Night had just thrown the knife and, after a moment of staring, clapped his hands. “Ten points for advance problem solving. Nice to see someone isn’t doing everything I say like a robot,” he complimented before slamming a pie into Night Stalker’s face and dashing off.
Night just wiped the pie off his face, “Next time, razor wire.”
“That was a good try Night. It’s my turn now though. I wonder how Gilgy will handle ninjitsu magic?” PRINCESS HEART said as she thought of her plan of attack. “By the way why just 1 knife instead of multiple from all directions?” She asked him.
Night shrugged, “No prep time.”
“I see.” She said as she sweatdropped. “Think I should distract him with music as I plan the spells? He claims to be pretty strong so let's test his concentration skills.” She stated.
“I’d rather go for him in his sleep,” Night said, “cliché, but effective.”
HEART looked at Night with a deadpan look. “Really, in his sleep? That seems like the most failed plan against someone like him. I’d say anyone would have as much a chance as succeeding at that as trying to kill Celestia in her sleep and succeeding. Impossible give their experience and instincts.” She pointed out to Night.
As HEART and Night continued to plan, Cruger just chuckled, “Better send a call to the R&D guys, I think if they converted that super-grill into a popcorn maker, we might just have enough.”
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Let the torment begin!
And no, I do not pity any of the squad members. For I find their plight hilarious.
Both Links to the music are broken, what are the song for those fight scenes? I kinda want to know.
This is gonna be very fun heheheheh.
7225280 I feel more sorry for Grumm if the idiot shows up and gets involved. Just imagine Gilgamesh deciding that Emperor Grumm is gonna have a bad time, a very VERY bad time. heheheheh.
YES! I LOVE Gilgy! MOAR PLEEEEASE
Man, this definitely is epic! And I can't wait to see those gifts my guys gave Cruger in action!
This is probably because I just finished watching the show but when I read this line all I heard was the voice of the Joker from "The Batman (2004)"
If you haven't hear the voice Youtube it.
The links need to be fixed. Other than that, looks good.
7225198 Okay. Thanks for answering
7225289 I'll fix that
Data conclusion: to actually HIT Gilgamesh, synchronized multi-vector attack combined with multiple distractions is required.
Now, where did I put those files on 'Shadow Clones' and 'Double Team'?
Yeah this isn't going to be fun for anyone being trained, once more.
Great job mates, this turned out fantastic and I am happy to have been apart of this.
7227889 Oh, but this is only part one!
7226143
Why do none of the links work?
7228482 I know I know, I'll get to it.
I miss the palm thrust to the stomach sending Dogfish into the air.
Still, no omelets without breaking a few eggs. These fights are decidedly fun. 
The typos were rather noticeable here.
7232274 One episode per week, one monster per episode, it's Power Rangers 101.
7232891
Well isn't that ominous and totally something I can do...
Wait... No I can't! As one of the many side authors I really don't have the power to control where this story goes!
Besides how would pirates be any type of problem for the SPD?
7237082
Well someone rich won't really care.
Someone who is poor on the other hand will make such remarks and think it very much normal.
Sky happens to be poor and happens to be whos thought you follow, so she has a bit of hatred for the system, part of her character.
Why is Heart's name always written in full caps?