• Published 4th Oct 2015
  • 8,052 Views, 140 Comments

I'm gonna (X) myself, no matter what I do! - Pickleless

Sunset is forced to listen to Helping Twilight Win the Crown over and over.

  • ...

And if we're different yeah I want you to be true to you!

Sunset blinked, suddenly finding herself inside the school cafeteria surrounded with other students. Looking around, she couldn't remember how she got there.

"Um..." She frowned. "Hey, you."

"M- Me?" The student flinched.

"Yeah, what day is it?" Sunset questioned.


Sunset rolled her eyes. "I meant-"

Suddenly she was caught off by a student banging their tray against the table.

"Hey, hey, everybody! We got something to say!"

Wait a minute...

"We, might, be as different, as the night is from day!"

I know this song.

"But if ya look a lil' deeper~! And you will see, that I'm just like you, and you're just like me-"

"Yeah?.." Sunset finished.

She didn't understand, they were singing that song, again, and everyone was responding the exact same, again, and it's as if it was that same day... again...

Sunset's mind shut down as she watched them sing. It can't be, time travel wasn't possible. Well, it WAS possible, but it made a stable time loop, meaning there would be two of herself he-

Sunset's head whipped around.

"Okay, I'm nowhere in sight..." She gulped.

She didn't see herself before, destroying the time space continuum by being careless seemed like a bad idea.

Sunset flinched as Twilight threw the cafeteria doors open.

"I'm gonna pop myself, no matter what I do!"

Sunset watched as Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Equestria, Most Faithful Student of Celestia, pulled out a needle and popped herself like a balloon.

As the song continued like normal without her.

"...What?" Sunset blinked.

"So get up! Get down, if you're gonna come around..."

"What?" Sunset started to panic.

"If we woo~oork together, helping Twilight Sparkle-"


"AH! What?!?" Sunset looked around her.

She was in the cafeteria, again.

They started to sing.


"Okay, okay, don't freak out!" Sunset started to hyperventilate. "You're just- you're in a c- coma, and... No, that's bad too! You're uh, you're..."

Twilight threw the cafeteria doors open.

"I'm gonna burn myself, no matter what I do!"

Twilight pulled out a tank of gasoline, and dumped it all on herself. Pinkie proceeded to throw a lit match on her.

"AND IF WE'RE BURNING YEAH, I WANT YOU TO BE TRUE TO YOU!" She screamed, running around.

"AHHHHH!!!" Sunset screamed, "WHHHHYYY?!?"

"AHH! AHH! OH CELESTIA, OH CELESTIA NO!" Sunset screamed, jumping out of her seat.

They were singing.

Their infernal voices were singing.


Twilight threw the doors open.


"Oh eww!" Sunset recoiled.

"Please, Rarity, I'm telling you!" Sunset cried, "You have to stop sing-"

"Hey, hey everybody..."

Sunset screamed, letting go of Rarity, she held her face in her hands, waiting for what's to come.

...Twilight threw the doors open.

In slow motion, Sunset watched Twilight come out wearing boxing equipment. Cameras went off taking pictures of her, the crowd screamed.

"...I'm gonna fight myself." She growled.

Climbing over the food at the lunch line, another Twilight Sparkle, with her hair in a bun, wearing glasses, starting making her way towards the equestrian Twilight.

"No matter what I do!" Human Twilight snarled.

Sunset proceeded to watch the two beat the living sh-

Sunset repeatedly slammed her head against the table. She decided no matter what, she wasn't going to watch what happened this time.

...She wasn't going to look.

No matter what she does.

And if she doesn't yeah she-

Twilight threw open the doors.

Sunset looked up.

"I'm gonna squeak myself~!" Twilight giggled, "no matter what I do!"

Sunset watched in complete horror as Twilight somehow stretched her hand around her entire waist, and squeezed.

A squeak noise similar to a chew toy came out of Twilight as she squirted some sort of soapy liquid out of her mouth.

"AUUUUGH!!!" A student screamed. "THE SOAP, IT BURNS MY FLESH!"

Twilight started sliding around on the floor squirting flesh eating liquid at everyone.

"What are you gonna do?!?" Sunset started laughing mad. "You can't top that. YOU CAN'T TOP THAT! SO WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU GONNA-"

"I'm gonna eat myself, no matter what I do!"

Sunset watched.


She could not scream, she lost the strength to do so.

Sunset slammed her head against the table to the beat of the song.

"Generous, honesty~!" Rarity sang.


"Twilight helped us each to be..."

Sunset sported a grin on her face.

It had no cheer.

Twilight threw open the doors.

"I'm gonna kiss myself..." Twilight crooned, caressing her human counterpart's cheek.

"No matter what I do..." The second one finished, bringing herself closer to the other.

Sunset's eye twitched.

"I don't care." Sunset monotoned. "I don't care anymore. I lost the will to care. Whatever she does, I simply do not give a single f-"

"I'm gonna face myself" Twilight shouted.

Suddenly, a Twilight with glowing yellow eyes spawned from the darkness.

"No matter what I do..." It said in a distorted voice.

"And if we're different yeah I want you to be true to you!" Twilight pointed at Sunset Shimmer.

"I, am a shadow." A hand that looked scarily like her own grasped Sunset's shoulder. "The true self..."

"I am glad to be alive, I am so glad to be alive..." Sunset quietly repeated to herself. "I am so very glad to be alive, I am so very much glad to be alive..."

"I'm gonna be myself, no matter what I do!"

"What?" Sunset looked up.

"And if we're different yeah I want you to be true to you!" She sang innocently.

"... Am I free?" Sunset whispered.

The song continued normally.

"I'm free!" She yelled, "I'm FREE-"

Suddenly a giant pickle shaped dinosaur popped out from the ground and roared. Pinkie pulled out some giant horn like thing and started smashing the tables and other students with it. Applejack summoned a giant lance and shield out of thin air. Rarity had a long katana and was knocking over Applejack repeatedly with it. The last thing Sunset saw was Twilight throwing a ball of poop into her face.


"I'm gonna crush myself, no matter what I-"

Suddenly, Fluttershy dropped a huge stream roller onto Twilight.



Suddenly, a flash of white light surrounded Sunset, and she found herself in the bottom of a crater. Sobbing, she pulled herself out towards the edge of it.

"I-I'm sorry..." She whimpered.

Author's Note:

I'm gonna write a lot, no matter what I do.
And if it's insane yeah I want you to be true to you!