Chapter 35- Normal school tests.
September 22th, another week of classes was at hand! I spent my weekend relaxing, leveling my character in Demon’s Dogma multiplayer with most of my friends, eating junk food and who the fuck I am kidding? I was studying my ass because the first season of school tests was at hand! When was the last time that when you read all the questions you must solve or answer, you thought to yourself, ‘Piece of cake’ and you answered the test at the speed of light? Let me remind you when that moment happened in your life!
NEVER!
No matter how much you study! No matter how much time you spent burning your eyes reviewing your notebooks and reading between lines for any hiding meaning in your textbooks! I assure you that by the time you have the test in your hands, every neuron that held your obtained knowledge will dry and die as fast as shit exposed to the sun, making you forget what you believed you had learned before the judgment day!
There are exceptions of course! Ethics’ test was easy and posed no threat to my superior reasoning! Humanistic classes are about giving your opinion in a certain word, memorizing some silly names and BAM! Done!
But Trigonometry was a fucking shit storm of ‘I don’t know what the hell I am reading’ crap. This was another example of why MATH in all its forms and names stand for ‘Mental abuse for humans’. And in front of me was the culprit who helped in creating this diabolical nightmare from the pits of hell!
“I finished the test, Mr. Bridge!” Said Twilight Sparkle while triumphantly raising her arm with the test at hand.
“Let’s see… Well done, Miss Sparkle! I knew you would detect right away that this particular problem isn’t solved with a complex number method! I can safely say that you aced the test!”
We would be grateful to you if you tell us which of the problems you are talking about.
“It was easy! Imaginary numbers have that particular trait that differentiates it from the complex when you don’t have the ‘i’ as a clue! Like a square root complex number being a negative number!”
And he genuinely laughed about what she said! What the fuck is supposed to be funny?
“Tell us what problem you are talking about, already!” Said Rainbow Dash with a desperate tone.
Most of the students made small comments of agreement and my young scientist gave us her final answer.
“Oh, don’t lose heart! I know you can do it! You must think hard enough and the answer will be revealed to you if you studied properly!” Said Twilight with a cheering tone.
This is the reason why in the academy your friends were as real as the imaginary numbers, Twilight!
Damn it! I’ll answer these problems as best as I can! The bell rang eventually. I managed to solve everything with what I could remember from classes and my study sessions. Before I could even go to the cafeteria to retrieve my lunch from Lightbulb, someone stopped me while grabbing my shirt.
“Hi!”
“What do you want, Twilight!”
“Can we eat lunch together? It’s been a while since we talked alone about anything relaxing!”
“True, Twilight! We have only talked during classes about our hellish project!”
“Hellish… project?” Said Twilight with a bit of discomfort.
…Crap.
“I mean… ‘Sigh’ Sorry, I’m stressed because of the test. I need to eat something quickly so I can review my physics notes if don’t want to perform as bad as I did in trigonometry.”
“Perform as bad, you say? But the test was easy! All the problems started by solving the imaginary numbers equation and then you could go straight to the three-dimensional plane methods!”
“B-but you both said that there was only one problem with the imaginary numbers method!”
I was beating my head back there because of you!
“Did your answers were all negative numbers?”
“Yes.”
“Did you replace the minus symbol with an ‘i’ in each answer?”
“Yes.”
What I reviewed from notebooks, all the problems could only be solved in two ways… I think.
“If you united the points, did three problems looked like a cube, one was an infinite line and six were abstracts figures?”
“Yes.”
“Then probably you will have most of your answers correct! Oh, Nitpick! The teacher was just teasing all of you a little with the problems with what we said! Imaginary numbers were created to ease computations involved in solving certain equations in the old age! Now you have many uses for it, like obtaining negative square root numbers! You are so clueless with science inside jokes! I will teach you so you can understand them, my dummy friend!”
“Do you want to take it outside!?”
And what you mean I am clueless and silly you little anti-social, piece of- …What did I just said?
“Yes! Rainbow told me you have a private spot in the back gardens! ‘GASP’ I have an idea! I’ll meet you there in a minute with a great surprise!” Said Twilight with an enthusiastic tone.
“Great…”
Lightbulb gave me my lunch and I paid him the money. I asked him if he and Dancer were free but they have other business to attend to, so I’ll have to go to my spot on my own. I ate my lunch real quick and threw the trash in its place. I needed my hands free if I wanted to review my physics notes.
The back garden were empty, like I expected. This peaceful place was perfect for the likes of me. I sat down in the soft grass of the earth, my back laying comfortably on the clean wall of the school.
Around the world, the season change comes tomorrow, leaving Lady Summer behind once again until next year. But in Ponyville, the weather was different. Ser Autumn has come to us! I like this cloudy but still sunny sky whose shades of grey and blue shower the land with shimmering light! The sky was reflecting people’s feelings that another year is coming to an end, longing for the days to last longer than ever.
Autumn… the season were we slowly take on thicker cloths to protect us from the incoming wind and enjoy the marvel of mother nature doing its job of preserving balance with a slow and steady preparation for the coming of Granny Winter in a few months. Autumn… admiring his coming with peace, solitude and-
“There you are, Nitpick! I came here with some of my friends and classmates to study together for the incoming physics test! Now I know why you come here by your own all the time! This place is simply great! Perfect for a quiet study session! Oh! We will have so much fun studying together until break ends!”
…Damn you.
A little less than half of the physics class was desecrating my private place! The rest of them were with Sunset in the only small classroom they could find. At least they were complaining that the back gardens weren’t as pretty as the front ones, so I can safely say that they won’t come back here again.
The idiotic expressions of most of these guys told me that they are even more lost than I was in the subject! Twilight started to give us some flash cards which admittedly have useful information and concrete notes. She gave us a brief description on each card resume and how to quickly review the data inside them without making a mess of them.
“All right, everyone! Now that you have the basic idea of how my flash card system works, let’s review the basics of all concepts! Remember that work is a form of energy! Units of work would be equivalent to a Newton times a meter! A Watt is the standard metric unit of work! Work is a time-”
“AAAAHH!” Said Rainbow Dash. “Stop talking about theory! Tell us how to solve the problems already!”
“Please!” Said Lyra with a desperate tone.
“YEEAAHH!” Shouted the guy called Bulked Biceps.
“We are gonna fail everything!” Mumbled Derpy Muffins with a hopeless expression.
“Calm down, y’all! Twi here is just reminding us the basic theory to solve the test!”
“No, Applejack! We need to hear how the formulas work, not listen to egghead’s babbles!”
“Rainbow Dash! We are losing time with your babbles! You are acting like a cat on a hot tin roof! Just relax and let her explain! We’re gonna pass the test if we study properly, y’all!”
“Thanks, Applejack!” Said Twilight with a grateful tone.
“I have a better idea! Why won’t we use these notes to create some crib notes of the formulas? With this, we’ll increase our chances to pass the exam!”
Of all the twelve people that were here, including me, seven agreed with her.
“What!? No way! Rainbow Dash! Stop spouting nonsense!”
“Applejack! We are gonna fail if we don’t use some kind of help! Bridge’s trigonometry test was hard enough! I can’t imagine how harder the physics test will be thanks to Twilight’s questions during classes!”
“B-but I thought his explanations were easy to understand!” Said Twilight confused.
“Yes! But… no offense but we aren’t eggheads like you, Twilight! I love you as a friend and I’ll stand to you when you truly needed it but… Urrghh Everyone! Let’s go and make some crib notes and plan how to share the answers between us!”
“Don’t be foolish, y'all! What you’re planning to do is dishonest! It’ll bite you sooner than you can imagine!”
“No, it’s quick thinking! C’mon!”
And most of them started to follow her, surprisingly, there was an opposition.
“What are you waiting, Bon Bon!? We must hurry if we wish to pass physics!”
“I… won’t go. Its not my style, Lyra.”
Those simple words were enough to stop her from going to the dark side of the study. Only Twilight, Applejack, Lyra, Bon Bon, Spike and I were left… Spike doesn’t count as part of the twelve students but his company was more than welcome for me.
“That’s the spirit, y’all! I knew there were some of you that would do the right thing! Please continue your teaching, sugarcube!!”
Twilight just gave us a small but gentle smile. She taught to us in the last seventeen minutes of break the best explanations she could give us about what we saw during classes. It was hard to memorize and reason her teachings but I knew this was the best choice.
She was happy…
A few minutes before the test started, we were already in the classroom! Anxiously waiting for the mental slaughter we were about to face! But something weird was happening! Nearly all the classroom was relaxed and assured! What the hell happened to their fears and anguish!?
“YOU DID WHAT!?” Yelled Sunset with an angered tone.
“Chill out, Sunset!” Said Rainbow Dash in a cool manner. “They are just harmless crib notes! We’ll be careful and use them smartly!”
“How many of you did as her!?”
Okay… only Applejack, Twilight, Lyra, Bon Bon, Sunset, Pinkie, Microchips, Fluttershy, Rarity and I didn’t raise our hands. We were ten in total compared to the remaining fifteen who raised their hands.
“This is wrong! I’m going to tell Mr. Bridge about it!” Said Sunset menacingly.
“WHAT!? Please no! Just this time, Sunset! You know how harder the test gets with him anytime we see a new topic in his class!” Said Rainbow Dash in a pleading tone.
“All of you had time to study!” Answered Sunset with a stern voice while crossing her arms.
“Please! Just this time! If Twilight doesn’t make the test harder next time! We’ll study properly, Pinkie Promise!”
And they made the chant with the cupcake act included! I am starting to think that there are serious consequences if you break the promise!
“I…Just…’sigh’ just don’t disserve the effort of the others who studied if they catch you with the hands dirty!”
“YES! And don’t worry! You know that there are no backstabbers in this school!”
My phone rang with the intro of ‘The Ancient Scrolls Part III’ theme. It was Lightbulb!
-Lightbulb: Bro! Remember to never cheat in important subjects! I know you really never cheat so this will be easy to explain. During our Trigonometry test, there were some fools who made crib notes and they will have a harder test next class. Dancer, some others students and me who always sat in the front rows were spared. One of Dancer’s friends told us right now that by orders of the Vice-Principal Luna, all school will have a check-up before the tests for today. So tell anyone who is planning to cheat to not do it. Best of lucks!
“Uh, guys!”
I must tell them.
But it was too late. Santa Calculus has arrived.
“My beautiful students, I am saddened to inform you that Miss Pencil found some bad kids trying to cheat their way in her class. So by orders of the Vice-Principal, you must be checked first! Sunset, could you please check up the girls while I check up the boys?”
“Of course, Mr. Bridge!” Said Sunset with great pleasure. “I’ll check them right away!”
Both of them started to check up their respective groups. I noticed that Sunset was stealthily removing the crib notes from the girls without the teacher taking notice and quickly throwing them to the trash. What Rainbow said was true. There were not backstabbers in CHS… as far as I know.
The boys… well, at least he wasn’t angry about the crib notes. Once we were all clean of any cheating devise, Santa Calculus began to give us the test one by one while giving us a little speech.
“Don’t turn around your test just yet until I say so. The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat oneself, my beautiful students! When you make things right, I assure you that no test in life will defeat you!”
He was right… I’m glad I stayed with Twilight and the others! I know deep inside that everything will turn alright! I studied all weekend and I took the right choice in not cheating! I, Nitpick Bittersweet, will pass the test with flying colors! I WILL PREVAIL!!
“Don’t worry my students! These are ten kinder level problems in three pages! Nothing to be scared of! Now, begin!”
As soon as I turned around the test to start answering it, indescribable stress and cold sweats started to emerge from my body. The stench of terror could be smelled. I could hear the hissing mutters from most of the students around me! I didn’t need my sixth sense to see horrified people! Rainbow Dash was having small seizures in her eyes! Her small, twisted and fake smile showed her inner panic! Most of the students were banging their heads in the desk while others were praying to ‘existence knows what’ they are asking help from!
And I… as I reread the contents of my test, the words suddenly transformed into unrecognizable, alien symbols from other world! What sorcery is this!?
WHAT THE HELL I AM READING!?
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That picture at the end is so memeable.
I LOVE IT!
Shall we just mark his paper with an F and move on?
Also, he should consider finding another private place, because his usual spot's not very private at this point!
6770821
You truly enjoy his suffering... You are evil!
6770733
Thank you! I poured a small portion of my frustrations of my college years in this drawing, Glad to see it gave someone a moment of entertainment.
What he fuck am i reading its like understanding alien language
No me percate en la primera leída, pero, lo que hace Sunset se podría interpretar como traición y no.
Lo digo porque prácticamente de no ser porque el Santa Calculus es buen maestro, los hombres se habrían llevado una prueba más difícil en la siguiente clase.
La acción de Sunset habría salvado a las mujeres y condenado a los hombres, por lo que se podría decir que los abandonó, tampoco es como si pudiera hacer algo para evitarlo, lo más justo en el hipotético caso de haber una prueba más complicada por hacer trampa es que Sunset delate también a las mujeres, ya que en caso de haber inconformidad por parte de los hombres por ser los únicos en hacer la prueba más complicada es que delaten a las mujeres y por ende, Sunset incluida por cómplice.
Una forma hipotética de como pudo terminar está escena.