• Published 1st Sep 2015
  • 8,023 Views, 268 Comments

The Guardian's story - Lon35hadow

You know the drill: guy goes to convention dressed up, buys something, and is sent to Equestria. The difference: I became three different people

  • ...

How to be a badass-winter edition

"Nolandroid, wolves," I said as Nightmare, the others, and myself made our way to the Empire.

"Right," he said, and my cloak was swapped out with the Wolf cloak from Variks, and my shader was now arctic proxy.

"So, any news about whats going on there?"

"Yeah," Tara said over the radio. "Blaze just sent a message saying three other guardians, with body structure being the exact same as yours, but with no weapons and different colored armor, appeared. Even with out weapons, though, they're still kicking ass thanks to their supers, melee, and grenades."

"Huh," I said. "Well, guess it could be worse. Aaaaannnnd fuck me."

"Detecting, okay, seriously, Crystal dragons inbound," Dinklebot said.

I sighed. "Blank console?" Nolandroid asked.

"Blank console." With that, a key pad that had no function for the ship what so ever appeared, and I banged my head against it. Once I was done a few seconds later, I said, "You guys go on ahead, I'll draw them away. This is my fault, after all."

"You sure, Josh?" Rhino asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said. "Nolandroid, combat mode."


"Okay, people, pyramid formation. Once I engage, keep going and help Forge. I'll give these dragons hell."

"You better come back, Josh," Nightmare said, and I could have sworn I heard a little more then concern in her voice.

"I will," I said as the jumpjets got into formation and the dragons came into extreme visual range.

"Nolandroid, music please.


"Nolandroid, get a message to Obsidian and Distant Death: Have them make sure those three Guardians aren't killed. I want to have a talk with them."

"Right," he said. "Message sent. Please tell me you have a plan of attack."

"Avengers," is all I say in response.

"Ah. Fair enough, I guess."

"Just let me know when they're in range," I say. "Want to give the others as much time as possible."

"I was going to do that anyway."

I chuckled. "Just making sure, is all," I say.

"You sure about this, Josh," Cybis asked one final time.

"Yeah, I am," I replied again. "No matter how many times you say that, I won't change my mind."

"I know," Cybis said. "But what kind of friend, and technical brother, would I if I didn't do anything?"

I chuckled. "Fair point," I said. Damn, this shit is getting slow, even with crystal dragons inbound. How sad is that?

Fortunately for that little bit of slowness, Nolandroid said, "They're in range."

"Fire," I said, as Nolandroid controlled the weapon systems. Before you say plot hole because of the moon, the AI in the ship to begin with can do so, it's just not able to improvise.

The six rockets in those frontal pods fired. The group of dragons had about ten, but the fact they were crystal, somehow, made them resistant to damage.

As we flew past them, I used the reverse thrusters to kill my momentum a little and turn around. "Eat it," I sad as the machine guns I had added on fired. These had armor piercing rounds, and mowed down a few of the dragons. They had started with ten, the missiles had taken one down, and the guns took down another two. Jeez, what kind of crystal are these things made of?

Any way, the dragons turned around and tried to ram me, but I was able to roll out of the way of each of them. I had to take them down quickly, so I steered the ship towards the mountains, hoping the speed they were following me at would be their death. "Nolandroid, take the controls!"

"Right!" he said as I took my hands off the control sticks and he started flying the jet.

We made it to the mountain range, with only some carbon scorching from the fire breath of the dragons, and almost as soon as we entered, three more crashed into a mountain, and, due to kinetic energy, they shattered on impact, but the remaining ones were able to veer around the mountain and stay on my ass, burning it with their flames.

"Hull integrity-seventy five percent!" Nolandroid said in panic. Oh, fuck what I'm about to try.

"Give me the controls," I said as i took a hold of the controls, and yanked the pitch control up, throwing me back in my seat as the ship went completely vertical and my helmet was transmatted on and kept me awake. Just for the extra style, I decided to spin the thing.

"You sure this'll work?"

"In the words of the Medic from Team Fortress two: I have no idea!!" I said as I pushed the throttle further, but these dragons must have taken wing steroids, as they kept up with me. "Yeah, that's right, assholes," I said. "Follow the leader."

We climbed higher and higher until we were at the point you could see the stars without the twinkle, which is where my thrusters cut out from stall. Just what I wanted.

As the Extinction began to fall, I turned it around and began to fire my guns on the dragons, who ran, or flew, as the case may be, right into the path of the bullets. Unfortunately, I hit one with the edge of my ship as it came down, to which Nolandroid said, "Lost all response in the left engine. We're going to crash!"

"Damn it," I said as I looked the map of the area where Sombra and the others were, and I grinned. "Nolandroid, two questions. One: Do my boots have some kind of magnetic feature?"

"Yeah," he answered slowly, trying to guess what I was planning. "What's the second?"

"Can my solar light be channled into my hands and can it be used to weld?"

"Yeah to both," he replied. "Why?"

"You see this mountain," I asked as I pointed to what made me smile. "Get the ship on a course that has it coming close enough to transmat me on it. Oh, and get me on the out side of this ship."


"Just do it," I said as I pulled out the hilt for the sword Church gave me. "Time to grab a board."


"I wonder what Josh is planning," I said over the comms as we got closer to the combat area.

"No idea," Rhino replied. "Probably something crazy, though."

"Does he usually do stuff like this?" Nightmare asked. Talk about having an interesting week with her.

"In recent time, yep," Applejack replied. "But uncle Josh always survives it, somehow. Not sure how, but he does."

"Which most likely means he'll survive this time," Twilight finished just as the others came in sight, and holy shit was there a lot a bodies.

Fire teams Obsidian and Distant death, along with the other three Guardians, who we suspected were Patrick and his Guardians that Celestia had dragged here to stop us, were trying to hold Sombra back. "Lets help 'em out," I said, and our ships dived down. Once we were close, we were transmatted down close to where Blaze was, our weapons, Nightmare having the Revelator hand cannon for primary and the Susanoo for the secondary.

"Blaze, what's the status," I asked as we saw Sombra. He wasn't a cloud like in season three, but he was surrounded by crystals that were eerily similar to Crota's soul crystal in color.

"Messed up," he said, firing his auto rifle. "Sombra absorbed his troops, which gave him the amount of power he has right now." We dodged out of the way of a magic blast. "And that Crystal seems to be protecting him, and we can't take it out. Any idea, Cybis?"

"Nope." I say as I fire off a burst from my Coiled Hiss. "Where are the three that just appeared out of no where?"

"Over there," Blaze pointed to his right, and I saw who I assumed was Patrick and his other personas.

I nodded. "Right. Rhino, with me. We're going to see our new friends."

"Copy," Rhino said as we made our way to where the new arrivals were. Just before we reached them, though, we saw a huge, green crystal flying towards them from behind.

"Fuck! Rhino!"

"On it," he said as he jumped up and summoned his Hammer of Sol before flinging it towards the crystal. The crystal wasn't destroyed, but it was knocked off course, and got the attention of Patrick's personas.

"Josh," the Hunter, Patrick, as that was the one he spent most of his Destiny time on, said, "is that you?"

"Yes and no," I replied, firing off a burst at Sombra. "We were split on the way to Equis. I am now called Cybis, and the other one's Rhino. Josh is buying us a little time. So, how's the world been since we left nine years ago?"

"What do you mean nine years?" Patrick said. "Its only been an hour."

"Time displacement. Duly noted," I say as I dodge a small crystal. "Okay, now he's getting annoying. Tara, where the hell is Josh!?"

Tara appeared alongside me, and she now had the Amethyst shell on. "The Extinction's inbound, but Nolandroid's saying its badly damaged."

"How badly," Rhino said as he fired off an ineffective burst at Sombra.

"An entire engine's offline."

It was then that Patrick's Titan persona pointed into the sky and said, "That it?"

We looked up, and I mean all of us, even pony Sauron, who had a demonic grin on his face and said, "It looks as if you are about to lose one of your own."

Indeed, it looked as if that were the case, as, even at his distance, I saw it come close to the mountain next to the battle area, and, eventually, crash.

"You'll pay for that, Sombra," I heard Nightmare growl before I turned and saw arcs of energy flowing across her body. Huh. Given the fact Josh and Rhino were the new subclasses, I can say we thought the trend would be me next, but, in all honesty, I'm kinda happy not, as I didn't get the star wars fan part of our old personality. Though I'll probably get stormcaller at some point simply because magic.

"You will pay. Dearly," she growled before she raised a hand and unleashed a bolt of lightning at Sombra, and this seemed to hurt him, but, at the same time, rebound off him and hit me before I could react, and I could feel the lightning in my system, waiting for my command, but he only laughed as the burn on his coat was repaired from the crystal.

"You can not harm me," he said. "I have the power of a god at my beck and call." Just as he finished that sentence, two rockets came flying from the mountain face and burst apart into wolfpack rounds.

Once the smoke had cleared, bullets came flying at Sombra, and, over the radio we heard, "Then I say its time to banish the both of you." Just as he said that, we could see Josh coming down the mountain. On s snowboard that, when I looked at it from my rifle's scope, looked as if it was made of those two pieces at the front of his jumpjet, and he was firing off shots. The fact he had the Wolves' cloak on and was wearing arctic proxy added to the simple badass factor the entrance had. "Take him down, Guardians," he said. "Use your supers on him, and avoid hitting those crystals."

I smiled and looked at the rest of our team, as well as Fire teams Obsidian and Distant Death. "You heard him. Nuke his ass!"