- Member Since 19th Aug, 2015
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
Equinox Starshifter
Hello, I am a fan of MLP:FiM and have decided to read here and enjoy all the many stories. I also have alot of plot ponies running in my head. Anyways I hope to share'em. All will be well.
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First MLP:FiM story that I have written and as such only fair I get the first post.
Given that this was posted by someone with that user name, we already knew that.
Edginess for the sake fo edginess, in other words.
Also:
Does the phrase "did not do the research" mean anything to you? It's "BDSM".
Here's some feedback: all this stuff belongs in the Author's Note section, not as an unseparated bit of text where people are expecting a story.
So?
No. No, no, no! First off, that's not how it works -- the standard convention is to represent thoughts with italics. Second, if you have to give people a guide for how to read your story, you're doing something wrong.
And then, in the first few paragraphs after the story actually starts, we have missing punctuation, unnecessary capitalization, an incomplete sentence, changes in verb tense, "all right" written as one word, "nopony" written as two words, and "then" used in place of "than". I strongly suggest you join one of the writer support groups on the site and find an editor who will work with you.
>> Elric of Melnipony
I do that cause I have got in trouble on another 'fiction' site before that I wont name cause I didn't mention that so I rather not take the chances of it happening again even if it is redundant
Similar reason to the first one, got in trouble cause I didn't credit myself...Stupid I know but again better to be redundant then get in trouble.
That and there is only so much you can put in the tags so best to get my audience a warning before they are surprised by whatever my mind throws at them. Also fo
I honestly didn't notice that and will be edited and fixed thank you for pointing it out.
I am new to posting a story here so all the kinks are still being worked out. it will be fixed soon once I learn about some things. Promise.
Its a warning to anyone reading that I might mess up but I will work to fix it as best I can. Simple as that.
Its only wrong to people who knows what it means, not everyone will. I, myself, thought I was being considerate since I have seen other people post on other stories that they couldn't tell thoughts from words spoken.
That is a combination of many things. Some of them being my own fault admittedly, some being auto-correct 'helping', and others that are from suggestions of Microsoft word that I thought knew better then myself in some of those situations. While I do plan to go back and fix some, others have to be grinding out with a massive wheel thanks to auto correct.
Overall I thank you for your feed back and hope you continue to read. Have a wonderful day.
>> Elric of Melnipony
Forgot to point out I do italisize when I right but didnt know that it didnt transfer over into this format so I actually thank you for pointing that out to me I will now work on editing it so that matches what I wrote.
Again thank you and have a wonderful day.
This story is entertaining, especially with the three brothers sharing one body (kinda reminds me of the Miroku 7 from Get Backers). You get a favorite.
6381890
Thank you very much for that it is much appreciated. Get Backers isnt a manga/anime I have read/seen yet, though it is on my long list of things to read/watch...I swear that thing doesnt ever get shorter no matter how many things I check off it.
Though I will say this, they arent really brothers. Brothers is the excuse Star gave other ponies who had met more then one of his forms. Its an easy enough excuse as when he changes his brain and the chemical amounts it spurts out in each of his forms are slightly different. He is the same pony only viewing things as if he was somepony else giving a different perspective on things and thought process. They are all him but different, so he calls them brothers for other ponies but they are all him just using different parts at different times. Hope that doesnt ruin your like cause of the previously thought similarity.
But once again I thank you for your favorite of my story and hope you find yourself continuing to be entertained by it.
That chapter was entertaining and filled with so many misunderstandings. I love it.
Cliffhanger ending. I did like Novo's and Dash's interaction.
6408732
Thank you very much and yes those two chapters are some of my very favorite to write so far. I usually tend to write several chapters ahead of what I release in case I decide I want to go back and alter something or include something else that I realize I might need later. A good example of this is that chapter 7 is released here but I am currently writing number 12.
That is pretty evil teasing about that.
Brain not now.
*Shick*
*Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick Shick*
*Bang*
*dragging sounds*
*Splash*
There, I took care of your conscience for you. Stabbed it thirty-seven times, shot it in the balls, then threw it in the river.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
19:52_14/10/2015
6528098
Ahh thank you very much I hate how that thing gets in the way of all the things I am planning.
So...you're just going to ignore that murder.
What murder?
...If anyone asks I am blaming you, I want you to know this.
I don't know what you're...oh wait a blood spot...There we go all nice and clean...Ahem...I don't know what you are talking about brain.
6528512 On a slightly related note, if it comes back as an undead abomination against nature, hit it over the head with something heavy that is either plated with or made of silver, and then contact your local priest or witch-doctor. If that doesn't help, liberally apply fire to the affected area until the problem either goes away, burns to ash, or solves itself.
I am what you could call 'morally flexible', so I don't really have too many issues with my conscience. For reasons, mainly because I'm a borderline sociopath, any form of conscience that I may have is something that I have cobbled together to give me something as close to a 'proper' moral standard as I could have; if I didn't work as hard as I did to develop what passes for a sense of morality, I probably would be even more sociopathic than I already am... I do follow a moral code that I set for myself, but only because I felt like it would be a good idea to have one.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
21:56_14/10/2015
I just binge read this. I love, some small mistake s here and there but not enough to hurt the story. I for one cannot wait for arc two!
6722233
Thank you for the kind words, means a lot to me to hear others enjoy my story. Ya I will one day go back to fix them and make sure those mistakes are covered but right now I am having to rewrite the new chapters I had written that I would have posted cause I noticed a huge continuity error in them that made it so it will be a little longer before I post them but they are coming.
Arc two will be coming soon and I hope you enjoy it as much as the first arc.
6722284 glad to hear! Good luck writing!
Nice! Been waiting a while! Can't wait for the next one!
6795835
Going to try for semi-regular updates but only if my muse co-operates with me, so far its been 50/50 with her. Evil muse
Who says I am evil? *Flies off*
*Pulls out my butterfly net* COME BACK HERE MUSE!
Awesome! Good work as always!
On to the next!
Hello again! Is there an ETA on the next chapter yet?
7096006
Right now I am focusing on writing the major parts of the book Lego will be translating so that when those pieces that I choose to put in my story wont come out jumbled or not making sense with a logical progression.
ETA of the next chapter, this week or early next week at best not taking into account anything that irl throws at me.
Also sorry for the wait.
7096488 Perfectly fine! This story is good enough for the wait! Can't wait for the next chapter!
7097406
I am glad you feel that way and I hope that all the chapters that come out continues to live up to that.
Edit: The chapter should be up tomorrow or at least by Friday. Found a editing error so I now have to figure out how to put part A into part B for a successful build lol.
Edit 2: The chapter is now out, Enjoy.
Hey is there an ETA on the next chapter yet?
7385282
Currently no time can be given. I am working on all three of the next chapters at once. so when one goes live expect two more with it. Sorry about the delay but the next three chapters are important to the story and I am trying to make sure I mess it up in as least a possible way that I can lol.
7385514 great to see you again! Alright, I can't wait!
7385514 13 weeks later, another ask.
There an ETA YET? Still can't wait, I really hope it's soon!
7641550
There is indeed, Next week, I am shooting for the middle to end of next week. Sorry it is so late, the hurricane came by and I was busy being a prepper to make sure I didnt get blown away so I wasnt writing for a bit lol.
7641840 Hey that's great to hear! lol, hope nothing to bad happened, I remember Katrina, even if we only got the western edge my town was dangerously flooded, thankfully we had a good drainage system that got rid of most of the water in a few hours.
side note: I just looked back at the other comments, and realized most of the others were me asking for updates,lol.
have a great day!
7641880
For the most part just alot of wind and such nothing really happened. Storm turned and I never got it, so really I only worried over nothing. Still a week wasted and while prepping in of itself is never a waste I didnt write or even touch anything on my story really while I was worrying at the time so its one of those "I wish I had known" things so I could have the time back lol.
Yes while your comments may be really asking for updates it is fine, keeps me knowing people want to read my story which helps motivate me even more.
so to summarize, storm blew air, I am fine, commenting you want more is fine. Hope the update will be enjoyed when it arrives.
7641948 definitely, your are one of my favorite authors here on fimfic! Right next to N-fire and tatsuruo!
Glad to here that your ok, and hindsight is always 20/20
Better to have and not need than to need and not have, again glad you and your families ok, I'm in New Orleans for college and I'm still seeing destruction around the area, so again count your blessings as they happen.
Damn, that ending hit me hard... that's exactly what happened to my little cousin Kaitlyn, she had cancer, and as far as I knew was getting better and had a great chance to make it. The next thing I hear of her, she was dead. She didn't even get to see 9 years.
Sorry for this here, I thought I was over it, but I guess a month isn't long enough.
7663624
I had to call in some personal feelings of myself as well as what I know some close family members went through for that one. While I am sorry that it brought up feelings that you thought were buried, I am glad I was able to properly convey the feelings of myself and others if just by proxy.
Sorry for your loss through and through to the bottom of the heart and back.
7663658 This is why I keep coming to this site. Because people like you share experiences, but can change the outcome for the better. If only one could do this in our lives.
good read! Already want the next one though, hah.
Have a good night!
7663702
Thank you and no problem. I wish you a good night as well. As for the second half of the act, I have plans, oh do I have plans, but they will have to wait. Not sure when the next update will happen but will try to make them more regularly and sorry for the sporadic nature before, while I can't promise updates wont continue like that, I can promise I will try to do better
Good Chapter, nice to slow down a bit after the hell they went through for the past few chapters. Will changelings be friends with the Stars? like thorax and a couple others?
Unicorn -> Pegusus -> Earth Pony -> Unicorn, nice system there.
Can't wait for the next!
7709856
You have to remember, this takes place after season 2, currently up to season 4 at this point in the series. Thorax was in hiding during this time so it will be unlikely that he will appear anytime soon if at all. Now that isn't to say they won't but as of right now in my plans there is no thoughts of him.
So to sum it up...maybe but unlikely for appearance. Will they become friends with any Changelings, well I could say, but that would be a spoiler now wouldn't it? You will have to wait and see if they do or don't.
7710171 Great Chapter! A few mistakes but not many, mostly just words that interrupt the flow.
Uh oh someone's in trouble
7914617
Thank you for adding The Alter Accords to your favorites.
Huh... i kinda want to see where this goes... yet, i feel a lack of proper spacing, that is all i see when it comes to mistakes, except a few spelling errors here and there.
8094981
The first few chapters are rough and I like to think I do better in the future, the spacing issue I have heard from a couple of sources not just you though those come irl. I am considering going back to put line breaks in whenever a perspective changes but that is to be considered in the future.
I hope you will continue reading and enjoy my story though.
You screwed up the italics. Needs a fixin
8108886
Thank you for pointing that out. It has been fixed.
Good work as always Equinox! I'm surprised the peeping group didn't take off after the fall though, lol.
Can't wait for the next!
8110878
I am glad you enjoyed it. Its always enjoyable to write those types funny parts.
Does this story have humans in it?
8135937
It does not. Sorry.
Chapter 29, in which the author learns to use line breaks.
8381415
Yeah I know. Its one of things I was searching for to learn for a while but couldnt figure out. Learned how to do it from one of the most random places, an online game. When I thought about how the coding works here I thought, its really similar but never thought it was the same so when I decided to try, looky there it works. I feel dumb for not realizing it before but smart for realizing something unrelated helped me :D.