• Published 7th Sep 2015
  • 521 Views, 7 Comments

Tree Hugger's Stash - toxiconym



Fluttershy tries some of Tree Hugger’s Natural Aura-Enhancing Herbs.

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Chapter 1: The Strongest Link

Fluttershy walked down the pebble-ridden path to her cottage. Her house had been running out of animal food lately, so she went to the market to replenish her supplies. The path was small not many ponies walked alongside her. The closer she got to her cottage, the deeper in the forest she got, and the less ponies were using the path.

She neared a fork on the road that led to the forest on the left, and the abandoned quarry on the right. Fluttershy took the path to the left, which led her to the forest. The cottage she lived in was located in a safer part of the Everfree, with not as many monster attacks as the deeper regions, near Zecora’s house. Monsters attacked every now and then, but they were small and scarce compared to the larger creatures deep in the forest. They would be a problem anyway, but her pet bear helped scare off most intruders. If it really came down to it, she could always Stare the creatures away.

As she was walking down the path, she heard a familiar voice call out behind her, which resulted in her instinctively hiding behind the closest tree.

After a few seconds passed, Fluttershy slowly opened her left eye and peeked out of the tree she had hid in. When she realized the pony that had startled her was her friend Tree Hugger, she slowly walked around the tree facing her way. She smiled softly and slowly walked up to her, avoiding loose stones and pricks on the earth beneath her hooves.

“Oh, hello Tree Hugger. How may I help you?” Fluttershy said quietly and brushed her pink mane out of her eyes. The sun started to dip down into the earth, giving the sky beautiful colors of red, orange, and pink.

“Oh, hey, Flutters.” Tree Hugger shifted her weight to the right. “I was, totally looking for, like, the perfect aura. You know?” She drooled a bit and her eyes were half closed. She didn’t seem to notice that Fluttershy had hidden behind the tree, and had coaxed herself out to greet her. Or, if she had, she didn’t show it.

Fluttershy blinked. “Um… I’m not sure what you mean. I’ve heard you talk about aura before, but I don’t really know what it is. We could talk about it over a cup of tea?” Fluttershy had turned and was slowly walking down the path again, Tree Hugger at her side. The birds in the forest waited a few seconds after the pair had spoken to get used to their presence and started their song again, chirping overcast them.

Tree Hugger trotted to Fluttershy’s right, occasionally stumbling every few steps as they walked along. “Ya, girl. It’s like, totally what makes up the life of, the embodiments of, everything like Peace and Happiness and Free Love. I heard of this totally rad aura called Loveace, which sounds totally sweet. I just have to see it! I was walking around Ponyville, and was wondering if you could help me, since you’re the only one that seems to understand me,” She stumbled along the path, looking around slowly as if she had lost some lucidity. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her mane looked even more unkempt than it usually was, along with her tail. The only feature about her that stayed the same was her strange smile.

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “Um. I could help you look for it, I guess… but are you feeling alright? You’re kind of… you know…” Fluttershy eyed Tree Hugger’s missteps and random fidgets.

Tree Hugger shrugged and kept stumbling about. They walked along the path for a few minutes, until they got to a small clearing. The trees were denser the closer they got to her cottage. “I’m, like, totally energized,”

“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t look so well, if you mind me asking, of course…” Fluttershy shook her head to the left, brushing her mane out of her eyes.

Tree Hugger shrugged again. “It’s like, totally these Natural Aura-Enhancing Herbs I found and always use. I started up like, a totally rad farm of them nearby. They let you see colors, it’s totally coolios. You can even see colors you’ve never seen before, I think. And the world feels happier! You should, totally take some. Ya’d love it. They even let you see the auras in the air, like, way past cool.” Tree Hugger trudged across the clearing. Her coat got a wet, but she didn’t bother shaking the water off. She simply turned and waited for Fluttershy to fly over the water to her side.

They trotted along the path, once again. “We’re almost there,” Fluttershy gently said. She smiled at the singing of the birds and the creaking of the crickets.

They walked up the stairs and Tree Hugger waited while Fluttershy pulled the keys out of her saddlebag and fit them into the hole, after fiddling them for a few seconds. Fluttershy turned the knob, pushed the door open, and walked inside with Tree Hugger right behind her. All of her animals looked up at them for a few seconds before returning to going back around their business. Angel hopped down the stairs, jumped over to Fluttershy, and stomped his foot.

Sighing, Fluttershy walked over to the kitchen. "Please do sit down, Tree Hugger. I'll be with you in a second,"

Tree Hugger shrugged, pulled out her doobie, and slouched onto the green couch in a way a certain mint unicorn does during certain times of the day on public park benches when she thinks nopony is watching.

When Fluttershy came back in the living room, Tree Hugger had a lighter pulled out and was about to roll another fat one. Before she did, she looked at Fluttershy. Then back to the doobie. Then back to Flutters, then back to the doobie. Sadly, Fluttershy didn't have a doobie. But if she stopped being such a coward and switched to trying it out, she could smoke like she had one.

Tree grinned. "Yooo Flutters, I just got this amazing idea. Joove alwayz wanted to try to, like, find the auras. If you take one, you'll be in for some real sonic bliss, rolling around at the speed of sound. What do ya say?"

Fluttershy blinked. "Well, I'm a character being written by a terrible author that knows nothing about weed and is trying insanely not to keep me too ooc, so I have no choice, now do I?" She walked over to the couch.

"That's ze spirit!"

Sitting on the couch, Fluttershy took the lighter from Tree Hugger's hand. "Umm... what is this?" She asked.

"I, like, found it while I was wasted, yo,"

"Oh, okay... yo?" She blinked. Again. "How exactly do you do this?"

A few minutes later, Fluttershy had some of the "aura-enhancing herbs" in her mouth. Tree Hugger had called this specific doobie, "The Strongest Link".

She blinked.

"I don't feel any different," She stated. Suddenly, she turned a shade of green. "Oh no!" She exclaimed.

"What's ze matter?" Tree asked the wall. She was too zoned out to realize what she was even doing anymore. In fact, she had already found the Loveace aura she had so incredibly craved.

"I just smoked weed. I'm a tree. Weeds are bad for trees," Fluttershy belched out, fell to the floor, and died.

Author's Note:

This could have been better, and it was actually supposed to have a decent ending, but then I had this stupid idea and decided to write this. I hope I did better than my first story.

Oh, and also this: :eeyup:

Comments ( 7 )

Da fuq did I just read :derpyderp1:

This gave me a pretty good laugh, well done!

Also, Is that a Ponies The Anthology reference?

6400018 Yes, yes it was! :scootangel:

6399892 You read a birthday present, silly! :twilightsmile:

Thanks for the belated birthday gift.

"I just smoked weed. I'm a tree. Weeds are bad for trees," Fluttershy belched out, fell to the floor, and died.

I fuckin' love it.

6402324 Thank you for those wise words, I will be sure to follow your advice next time! :twilightsheepish:

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